20. Mika

20

MIKA

T he birds outside the master bedroom’s wide, picture window alert me to the time, their song bright and cheerful as it filters through the glass. When I open my eyes, it’s still dark outside, just a touch of dawn coloring the black pines a deep shade of hunter green. I can’t have gotten more than a few hours of sleep, and my body aches with the familiar muscle soreness that follows a full day of exercise. Only Alfie Bonetti’s version of a good ride is very different from what I’m used to in the saddle, and my cheeks flame as I think about what we did last night. Still naked, wrapped in his arms, my back trapped against his muscular chest and his stiff cock pressing against my ass as he holds me possessively in his sleep, it’s impossible to forget how it felt to have his hands all over me.

Alfie touched me in ways I’ve never been touched before, molding me like clay on a potter’s lathe as he made me realize my desires might be far dirtier than I realized. I’m mortified by how much it turns me on when he takes charge. Getting tied up and fucked in the tack room, making me cry out so anyone could hear—it was demeaning, and at the same time, so erotic. I never should have let him fuck me without a condom, but it felt so good, I couldn’t tell him to stop. And the way he played with my ass? God, it makes my skin burn with embarrassment to think about how good it felt. I can’t tell if I’m nervous, excited, or just appalled by the thought of enjoying his cock there, too. But my core starts to throb when I recall the dark promise in his voice when he told me it would happen, “I intend to claim every one of your holes, Mika… and you’ll enjoy it when I do.”

A shiver skates up my spine at the memory, and Alfie’s strong arms tighten around me, his palm covering my breast, squeezing as he pulls me closer. My lips part, a breath rushing from me as a surge of arousal dampens my bare thighs. I press them together, fighting the excitement because I shouldn’t want what he has to offer. The way he ordered me to lick the cum off his cock and called me a good girl when I did as he said.

He’s a rich, arrogant prick—exactly the kind of man I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for again. Not to mention, I nearly got blown up yesterday just because the Russian mafia decided I’m an inconvenience—all because Alfie decided he wants me. It would be illogical, self-destructive, and completely reckless to stay with him. Alfie isn’t just selfish and possessive—he’s dangerous. Falling for him will only lead to me getting hurt in the end, one way or another.

Still, I can’t deny that when he told me to get on my knees, it turned me on. He has a hold on me that I can’t quite make sense of—a magnetism that draws me in despite my instincts screaming that it’s not safe. Like a moth to the flame, I can’t seem to pull myself away. It doesn’t help that every time I give in to my attraction, Alfie rewards me with a kind of desire I never even knew existed. The man is a god with his tongue, his fingers—his cock. After last night, he’s touched every inch of me, and no matter how violent his lifestyle might be, he knows how to make me feel pleasure.

Closing my eyes against the unwanted excitement, quickening my pulse, I try to get ahold of myself. It doesn’t matter how good he makes me feel. Even if I could get past the humiliation of realizing I like it when Alfie dominates me, I don’t think I can stay here. It rips my heart out to consider leaving Fate, of leaving any of the incredible horses I’ve trained, of giving up the life if made for myself here. I love everything about my job, this barn, the animals. But being with Alfie would mean putting my life on the line—and not just mine. Any of the horses could have ended up as collateral damage yesterday. I can’t stick around to see what the Russians might think up next. As much as it pains me, I need to pick up and start over somewhere far from Alfie—far from the dangers of his world.

Holding my breath, I slowly ease my body out from under his arm, shifting an inch at a time as I try not to wake him. He grumbles in his sleep, shifting his position as he seems to notice the absence of my body, and I tense, looking down at him as I hold my awkward, half-sitting position. I can’t help but notice how handsome he is, even now, with his black hair rumpled and his facial hair darkening his strong jaw. Even in his sleep, his Roman nose and proud lips make him look cocky, powerful, and commanding, and my heart trembles when I think about what he might do to me if he finds out I’m leaving. But after I slowly lower his arm onto the bed, he seems to settle back into unconsciousness.

I slide slowly across the bed, only daring to release my breath after I’m successfully standing. I tiptoe across the wood floor and into the bathroom, where my clothes still lie in a heap from yesterday. My stomach coils when I think about our shower together—how Alfie pinned me against the wall and slid inside me without a condom for the first time.

Damn it, Mika, get it together.

I need to stop daydreaming about the way he fucks me and get out of here before he wakes up. Stooping, I snatch my panties from the pile, but they’re tangled with my jeans—and I don’t notice until it’s too late that they’re trapped beneath the toe of my barn boot. I flinch as the movement flings the boot into the hair, and the heavy leather hits the tile with a dull thud. Tensing, I wait and listen, unable to see Alfie from where I am, but he doesn’t seem to stir, and after a painstaking silence, I turn my attention back to my pile of clothes. Carefully, I start to disentangle my layers so I can get dressed.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

I nearly jump out of my skin at Alfie’s deep voice behind me, and I whirl, grasping my clothes to my chest as my heart hammers. Shit. “I-I—” I scramble for an excuse as heat creeps up my neck to pool in my cheeks. But maybe it’s not the worst thing for Alfie to know the truth. I’m strong, I’m brave, and I’m confident enough to tell him.

“I can’t stay,” I manage, seeing his gaze darken the moment the words slip from my mouth. “This—your world is dangerous, Alfie. Being with you wouldn’t just put me in danger. What if the horses had been on that trailer? Or any of the guys? It’s not worth the risk. I’m leaving before anything else happens.”

Alfie’s eyes narrow, their hazel color darkening as he stalks closer, and he captures my jaw in his long fingers, tipping my chin up so I have to look at him. “I can protect you, Mika. I will protect you—and the horses and the men. There is nowhere safer than here right now. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Tears sting the back of my eyes as a ball of tension starts to unravel deep inside me. I want to believe him, and honestly, I think I might. I feel safe with Alfie. But I’ve also never been more aware of just how dangerous the world could be now that he’s in it. I can’t stop thinking about how high the stakes are if he can’t protect me. I don’t want to die—and I definitely don’t want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt because I chose to stay.

“How can you be so sure?” I whisper, my heart in my throat.

Taking the clothes from my hands, Alfie drops them unceremoniously back onto the floor, and his arms snake around my waist as he pulls me close. “This is what I do. This is who I am. I have loyal men who would die for me, and I will make sure they protect you and this barn.” His eyes dip to my lips, and Alfie’s arm tightens around my waist as a spark ignites between us. He leans in slowly, one hand combing into my hair as he cradles the back of my head.

“But, Alfie, I don’t want anyone to?—”

He cuts my protest short, pressing his lips to mine and stroking his tongue into my mouth. Heat crackles up my spine, raising my temperature as he guides my arms around the back of his neck. He’s still naked, and the warmth from his bare skin seeps into mine, chasing away the chill from all my dark thoughts. He kisses me until my argument slips from my mind, and my lungs burn for oxygen. He pulls away just enough to peer down at me, his eyes fierce with desire.

“Mika, you’re mine,” he reminds me thickly. “I won’t let you go, understand?”

“But the horses?—”

A low growl of frustration issues from Alfie’s throat. “You really are impossible to distract, do you know that?” His exasperation still has a playful note as he shakes his head. “I’ll fix it. Alright? And until then, I want you to trust me. My men will keep you safe.”

“How long will that take?” I ask, thinking about the prolonged risks, the damage that might cause to the young horses’ training if I did stay.

Alfie’s hands roam possessively down my curves, his fingers spreading as they travel over my ass, and then he grips my thighs, lifting me and wrapping them around his waist. I gasp, my arms tightening around his shoulder to stop myself from falling as Alfie carries me back to bed.

“I’ll head back to the city to deal with it just as soon as I’m finished with you,” he promises.

My pulse throbs between my legs as my back hits the mattress, and Alfie pins me down with his powerful chest. His knee spreads my thighs, his erection pressing against my clit as he traps me beneath him, and the breath rushes from me as adrenaline rushes through my veins.

“You really think you can fix this?” I breathe, my heart racing as my desire starts to overcome my more logical reasoning. If Alfie has that kind of power, maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world to let myself fall for him. I might still get my heart broken, because I don’t entirely trust that he won’t use me and toss me aside. But if he can make things right with Nikolai, then would it be criminal of me to enjoy the pleasure he has to offer for a little while?

“I can fix it,” he assures me, his voice infused with conviction.

That confidence is what makes Alfie’s men follow him without question—what gets me to obey him even when I want to stand my ground. He has a strength of will that makes me believe he could convince the Russians to let things go. He convinced the Carvers to sell their beloved property and business. He convinced me to sleep with him. Two feats I honestly never believed he could accomplish.

Alfie doesn’t wait for my answer as he leans in to claim my lips, and my resistance crumbles. I don’t have the strength to fight him, because I want to be with Alfie. He makes me feel things that terrify me, but also make me thirsty for more. Horses are my passion—they have been my whole life. But whatever it is between me and Alfie, is an attraction unlike anything I’ve felt before. I don’t know how to back away, and I’m starting to think I don’t want to.

Heat sears across my flesh as Alfie devours my lips hungrily, nipping the soft skin that’s still tender and swollen from last night. Reaching between us, he lifts his hips to stroke his fingers between my sensitive folds, and I whimper at the silky slickness of his touch.

“God, you’re so fucking wet for me already,” he groans. “So fucking eager to have me inside you, aren’t you?”

Indignation wars with my arousal because he’s egging me on and teasing me when it works—but I’m so turned on, I don’t have the strength to argue. Instead, I do my best to glare at him, and when he chuckles, amused by my frustration, I have half a mind to slap him. As if hearing my thoughts, Alfie takes my arms from around his neck and collects both wrists in one hand, pinning them above my head. Then he grasps the base of his cock and guides his thick head to my swollen, aching entrance.

It would seem he’s completely disregarded the concept of a condom, and my stomach jolts as I realize he probably has no intention of using one with me again. If I want birth control, I’ll need to make that happen. At least he hasn’t come inside me yet.

“Alfie,” I moan, trying to find the willpower to tell him to use protection.

He slams inside me with one powerful thrust, forcing a cry of pleasure from my lips. My back arches, my head tilting back as relief explodes through my body, chasing away the aching emptiness .

“Yes?” he purrs, leaning in to steal a kiss as he pauses, buried inside me to the hilt.

I whimper, consumed with such need I don’t think I can make him stop, and my walls ripple along his length at the sheer bliss of his bare cock filling me up. Anxiety quivers in my stomach, intensifying the thrill that races up my spine when he gives a low moan of appreciation.

His phone buzzes noisily across the bedside table, making me jolt, my head snapping in its direction as I gasp. But Alfie seems unbothered as he lowers his lips to my throat and sucks the sensitive skin between his lips.

“Don’t you need to answer that?” I pant, my nipples hardening and my clit throbbing from the stimulation.

“If it’s important, they’ll call back,” he murmurs against my neck, raising goosebumps across my flesh. He rocks inside me, driving me to distraction as each deep thrust releases bursts of pleasure that tingle out to my fingers and toes.

With my hands trapped above my head, I’m at his mercy—again—and I hate how much I like the way he takes control of my body. I’ve had more sex in the last twenty-four hours than I have in years, and still, the arousal he creates in me feels endless. Wrapping my legs around his hips, I ignore the last few buzzing rings of his phone as I get lost in the delicious scent of spice and eucalyptus that clings to his skin.

Friction warms my stomach and breasts as his lean, muscular torso brushes against mine, keeping our bodies close as he rocks his hips. Every time he presses deep inside my core, my walls tighten, and my clit throbs with the intense stimulation. Electric relief crackles up my spine, and I can barely think straight through the haze of anticipation. I’m barreling toward another powerful orgasm, all thoughts of leaving out the window. I’m so consumed by the pleasure of being in Alfie’s bed, and I moan his name as I feel that elastic band of tension deep inside my core, threatening to snap.

Then his phone bursts to life once again, dousing my arousal like a bucket of ice water as Alfie pauses inside me with a snarled, “ Fuck. ” Clenching his jaw, he jerks out of me abruptly, and I gasp from the sudden aching emptiness that floods into me. But through the fog of my lust, his words come back to me. If it’s important, they’ll call back.

My heart breaks into a sprint, and I prop myself up on my elbows, my legs falling over the edge of the bed as I watch him stalk around the corner to snatch up his phone and answer it.

“ Pronto, ” he snaps. Then he pauses, his shoulders tensing as someone responds.

I sit up, on guard, as his expression turns thunderous, and I wrap my arms around myself.

“ Sulla mia strada, ” he says after a pause, then he hangs up and turns to me.

“Something wrong?” I ask, and I don’t like the quiver that’s crept into my voice, but all my fears have resurfaced at seeing Alfie lose his cool.

“It’s fine. My men know how to handle the situation, but the Russians are really starting to push their luck,” he growls.

My stomach tightens as he confirms my fears, and I stand to approach him.

Sighing heavily, Alfie grasps my wrists, unwinding my arms from around my stomach as he pulls me close. “I have to go deal with this and make sure Nina’s alright.”

Ice floods my veins, and I gasp. “Did they go after her?”

“They didn’t even get close,” he assures me. “But I don’t like that they even tried. I’ll be back as soon as I can. In the meantime, stay between the house and the barn, and keep my men with you at all times. Understood?”

I nod, swallowing painfully around the anxiety that grips my throat. I don’t like any of this—at all. I don’t like that the horses and I even need protection. I don’t like that Nina might be in danger. I really don’t like that this has all come about because of whatever this is between me and Alfie. But most of all—and definitely most surprising—is that I don’t want Alfie to leave. I don’t like the thought of watching him walk out the door.

What if something happens? What if he doesn’t come back?