18. Mika

18

MIKA

O nly after I’m confident the horses are safely on their way back upstate do I let Alfie usher me to his helicopter. The ride back to the stables is a thrill I didn’t quite expect, but I’ve never seen New York from the air like that, so I savor the view, watching the greenery pass below. I catch sight of the twisting roads that wind between the larger towns, and I wonder if any of the trailers we pass might be Joel’s.

When we land on the new helipad, I’m glad to be home. His increased number of security men are on high alert as we arrive, and they pick us up in a big black SUV that reminds me of the armored cars mafia bosses use on TV. Not that I’m complaining—I’ve had enough brushes with death for one day. At my insistence, they take us to the barn. The racehorses won’t arrive for another half hour, but it feels good to be back in familiar territory, and the horses that are present comfort my frayed nerves. Here, none of them seem stirred up and restless, eager to get away from some unknown danger I can’t sense.

Joel pulls up the long gravel driveway a short time later, parking in the open lot to unload. He’s a young guy, in his early twenties, with sandy-blond hair and blue eyes. He has a magic way with horses— I’ve never seen a horse give him trouble loading, and he always delivers them safely. I’m grateful for him tonight especially, as he gets the horses into their stalls in record time. Then he’s off, giving me a polite salute from the door of his truck before he departs.

“You ready?” Alfie asks in a low voice.

“For what?” My stomach tightens, and I’m intensely aware of the arm he hasn’t removed from around my waist since my vision started to tunnel back at the Saratoga racetrack. He hasn’t left my side since our encounter with Nikolai Kapranov. His protective concern is a stark contrast to our heated exchange in the tack room. Though it does echo his words about taking responsibility for my protection, and that same possessive dominance lingers in his touch. He hovers, handling me as if he thinks I might shatter but is unwilling to give me space. I’m still not sure if I’m grateful for his presence or if it’s terrifying. All I know is that the world I woke up in this morning is not the same one I’m currently facing.

“To call it a day,” he says playfully, grinning.

“I want to check in on Fate first.” I have a lot to be thankful for after today, and she’s at the very top of my list.

Alfie hums his amusement, but then he just gestures for me to lead the way. I do, entering the quiet peacefulness of the barn and heading to Fate’s stall. I decided to keep all the horses from today’s race inside overnight to make sure everyone’s alright. Fate nickers softly as I slide her stall door open and step inside. Alfie stays at Fate’s doorway, seeming willing to give me a limited amount of space while I’m with her, though he keeps a watchful eye. That same contented calm surrounds the filly that she usually has after a successful race. It’s good to know she’s back to herself as well.

“You did good today, girl,” I murmur, approaching slowly.

She lets me run my hands up her soft muzzle and over her eyes, and she steps forward to press her nose against my belly. I take a moment to connect with her, to let her feel my gratitude for what she did. Her satin fur shines in the cool evening light, and she accepts the affection, soaking up the attention. When I’ve shown her my appreciation, I dig a carrot from my pocket and feed it to her, then I head back out of her stall so she can get some rest.

“Done?” Alfie asks.

I nod, and though I don’t say it, I hope he intends to give me a ride back to my house. After the day’s excitement, I’m not sure my legs will carry me all that way. I’m relieved when he guides me to the SUV we drove in with, his hand on the small of my back. Even that harmless touch sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach, and a wave of uncertainty washes through me. I want him to touch me, but I’m not at all sure I should be anywhere near him. Today’s events have hammered that realization into my head.

Rather than drive me to my modest ranch-style house, the SUV takes the short drive to pull up in front of the luxurious main house, where the Carvers shared a lavish dinner with Alfie before selling their coveted estate. It feels like a lifetime ago now.

“Alfie…” I frown. “I don’t live here,” I explain, confusion lacing my tone.

“Maybe not, but I have extra security stationed here. I want to make sure you’re safe.” He steps out of the vehicle and offers a hand to help me out.

I’m not some damsel in distress. I don’t need the assistance. I’ve been climbing in and out of heavy-duty trucks for the greater part of my life, but it feels good when his fingers close around mine, so I take advantage of the excuse to touch him. Even after I’m on solid ground, Alfie doesn’t let go. Holding my hand, he leads me into the house and through the beautiful entry as he guides me to the massive double doors of the master bedroom. I had assumed he would show me to a guest room and head back to New York City, but he doesn’t seem like he’s in any hurry to get home.

“Are you… not going back to the city?” I ask, following him into the spacious master suite.

A king-size canopy bed sits in the center of the room, with quality dark wood furniture lining the walls. Through an archway, the master bath looks big enough to fit my entire living room inside .

“No, not tonight,” he says softly, turning toward me as the doors swing closed behind us.

My heart skips a beat now that we’re alone. His men stopped to stand guard on the far side of the heavy doors. Why is it that every time a door closes me in alone with Alfie, the air suddenly feels electric? I turn to face him and find a smoldering fire in his hazel eyes. My breath catches as the oxygen suddenly evaporates, and the space between us vanishes.

“Alfie, wait,” I murmur, pressing a palm against his firm chest.

I’m mildly surprised when he does, pausing as he studies my face carefully. Then he releases a heavy sigh. “You don’t need to be scared of me, Mika,” he promises. “I won’t hurt you.”

His voice is pained, and my heart twists at the hint of vulnerability in it.

“I’m not—It’s not that. I know you wouldn’t,” I say, and I’m surprised to find I mean it. Still, the thought of being with Alfie does scare me, especially after today. “But like you said, Nikolai would—and he’s coming after me to get back at you. I don’t want to be something he just ‘takes care of’ so you’ll marry his daughter.” Unexpected tears sting the back of my eyes as it hits me then, just how close I came to dying. If Fate hadn’t been so resistant to load—and if Alfie hadn’t chosen to trust her instincts—I would definitely have been in the cab of that truck when it exploded. I don’t want to die like that, to have a meaningless death because some man set his sights on me, because Alfie Bonetti claimed me.

Just thinking that makes my gut twist because Alfie’s not just “some man” in my life. He’s very close to meaning something real to me—but I don’t want to let myself fall for him if it’s just going to get me killed.

Alfie’s expression intensifies, his eyebrows pressing together with conviction. Slowly, he lifts his hand to capture my chin between his fingers, his gaze intent as he leans closer. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Mika,” he murmurs. “Never again. I can protect you. I will protect you.”

Heat blossoms in my core, and a shiver runs down my spine. It was a far closer call than I would have liked, but I want to believe Alfie when he says he won’t let anything happen to me. As dangerous as the world seems to think he is, when I’m with Alfie, I feel safe.

I just don’t know that I’m cut out for the kind of violence that comes with his world.

“Okay,” I breathe, uncertainty settling into my stomach.

He pulls me firmly against his body, one hand splaying across my spine as his other hand combs back into my tangle of curls. My heart skips a beat, and I sigh as his lips find mine with such tenderness it makes my pulse quicken.

“You’re trembling,” he rasps, his arm tightening protectively around me.

“I’m fine,” I insist for what feels like the hundredth time today. Regardless of my lingering questions—whether I should leave while I still have the chance, if I’m being stupid for associating with someone like Alfie—it feels too good to have his arms wrapped around me to make any decisions about it tonight. Right now, all I want to do is prove that I’m still alive. Tomorrow, I can think about whether I would be better off leaving before I lose my life. Sliding my hands up his muscular chest, I wrap my arms around the back of his neck.

As he leans in to kiss me, it feels like his concern might be warring with his desire. Alfie slowly starts to walk me backward toward the bathroom, his movements careful—gentle even—as he holds me against his strong, firm body. The intensity in his eyes still makes my stomach tremble, but as he takes control, it’s not with the same kind of aggressive passion as he had at the racetrack. He feels like he thinks I’m breakable, but I’m not—and while his slow, tender kisses make my lips tingle, right now, I want to feel alive again.

As we reach the bathroom tiles, Alfie pauses, breaking the gentle kiss without letting me go so he can turn on the shower. Warm water springs from the rainshower head, steam rising only seconds later from the Carvers’ top-of-the-line instant hot water heaters. I’ve never known luxury like that before—like a normal human, I have to wait for the hot water to come on. But today, I can really appreciate the perk when my skin feels rather icy beneath my thin shirt .

“Do I smell that bad?” I tease because I don’t want to admit that Alfie knew what I needed even before I did. If I acknowledge that, then I might start to rely on him, and I’m not sure I want to stay beyond tonight.

He chuckles, his eyes shifting from my face as he hooks a finger around the band, holding my hair back. “No.” Alfie tugs, releasing my curls to topple out of my messy bun, and his eyes ignite with anticipation as my hair falls wildly around my face, tickling my shoulders. “But you might still be in shock. I want to bring your body temperature up to help with your shaking. If that doesn’t work, I’m going to call a doctor.”

Everything he says is a command, and while my natural instinct is to push back against his overconfident assumption of authority—even over my health—my heart flutters because he’s showing genuine concern for me. He’s been astonishingly attentive since Nikolai blew up my truck, and I don’t know what to make of it. I witnessed a softer side of him today with Nina, and I’m still reeling over just how compassionate Alfie can be. Clearly, he loves his sister, and that, combined with his decision to call off his wedding over me, makes me wonder just how deep his emotions could run beneath his arrogance. Since I nearly collapsed at Saratoga, he’s been protective in a way that could almost convince me he could keep me safe. But that instinct to shield me also has a possessive edge—I could see it in the way he handled Joel—and I’m not sure how I feel about that just yet. I like my independence, but I can’t deny it turns me on—more than I knew it could. My stomach tightens just thinking about the way he tied me up, and my cheeks warm, chasing away the frigid ice beneath my skin.

“I’ll never object to a hot shower,” I say playfully, hoping to put Alfie at ease because I don’t need a doctor, but my voice dips almost suggestively, my tone reflecting my unspoken thoughts.

Alfie’s dark chuckle sends crackling anticipation across my skin, and his hands slide down the curve of my waist until he’s palming my ass. “Good girl,” he growls, and he captures my lips in a fiery kiss.

The praise makes my skin burn with indignation—I’m not an animal in need of training—and at the same time, unexpected excitement curls in my stomach because he’s kissing me with the same searing heat as he did before he tied me up and made me come harder than I have in my life.

Alfie guides my long-sleeved shirt over my shoulders, undressing me himself this time as he refuses to take his hands off me. My fingers tremble as I do the same, clumsily working the buttons open on his dress shirt. It isn’t hard to notice the difference in his deft movements as he strips me naked in a matter of moments, while I barely manage to finish undoing his shirt. But when it falls open, revealing his body for the first time, my mouth goes dry.

A smirk spreads across his lips when he catches me staring, and he shrugs out of his button-down, exposing his broad, muscular shoulders. My stomach quivers at the familiar sound of his belt buckle coming undone, and this time, he snakes it out of his belt loops before dropping it onto the bathroom tiles. He opens his pants, stripping naked before me, and my pulse flutters as I take in every last inch of his perfect body for the first time. Underneath all that high fashion and expensive fabric, Alfie is a work of art, like Atlas carved from stone and carrying the world on his shoulders. Every line of his well-defined muscles is etched into his olive skin. The soft dusting of hair on his chest narrows into a thin line that travels south of his navel, directing my eyes to his impressive and distractingly erect cock.

“Into the shower, vitale ,” he commands softly, the Italian word rolling sensually off his tongue.

When I don’t obey immediately, his fingers press firmly into the flesh of my hips as he steers me past the glass wall and beneath the hot water. Goosebumps erupt across my skin at the sudden shift in temperature, and I have to admit, it feels astonishingly good as the warmth seeps into my bones. Everything feels more intense tonight—Alfie’s soft lips against mine, his arms tight and controlling around my waist, the water drumming onto my skin. It all seems to send my nerves into overdrive, every tiny detail reminding me I’m alive.

Alfie follows me into the shower, letting me have most of the water, though he steps close enough to share its heat. As I take advantage of the liquid soap fixed to the natural stone walls, squirting a generous amount into my palm and running it over my skin, Alfie helps, kneading the suds into my flesh. His hands roam boldly over my body as his lips brush along my neck and tickle the shell of my ear. Like he won’t be satisfied until he’s explored every inch of me. Alfie massages and strokes my skin, warming me from the inside while the shower raises the temperature around me.

As the water washes away the sweat and grime of my day, Alfie’s arms snake around my waist, pulling my back against his chest. His erection presses adamantly into my tailbone, making my core tighten. Excitement pools in my belly at the memory of having him inside me. I want to feel that kind of pleasure again. Turning my head, I tip my chin to look over my shoulder at his staggeringly handsome face. Leaning in, he brushes a soft kiss across my lips.

“You have the best hair,” he murmurs, combing his fingers into it as he cradles my head and keeps my lips within reach.

I smile, an incredulous huff rushing from my lungs. “It’s always in the way.”

“Hm-mm. It’s like silk made of sunshine,” he breathes, then his lips cover mine, stealing away my will to argue as he kisses me deeply.

His hands travel slowly over the curves of my body, exploring me with interest. I groan as his fingers run down my water-slicked stomach to the peak of my thighs. When his fingertips brush across my clit, zinging pleasure crackles up my spine. My body comes to life at the single touch, and my hips roll greedily against his hard length. Reaching up behind me, I comb my fingers into his damp locks, and I stroke my tongue inside his mouth to taste him.

Did he always taste this sweet, or is it because all my senses are on overdrive?

“God, I want you,” he groans against my lips, and his fingers slip between my folds, pressing inside my hot entrance.

“Yes!” I gasp, throbbing beneath his expert touch.

Alfie’s cock twitches between my ass cheeks, and my core tightens in response. I’m still aching from our passionate encounter in the tack room earlier, but I want him so desperately it leaves me breathless. He shifts me, turning my body until my breasts press against the cool stone wall, heat coils in my stomach. His fingers never leave my pussy, circling my clit before delving inside my depths. His foot nudges the inside of mine, spreading my legs, and my heart skips a beat as I realize we’re doing this right here in the shower of my former employers’ old home. Considering I’d never even set foot in the Carvers’ house before the day Alfie bought it, I find the idea of having sex in it somehow taboo. But time and place seem to be irrelevant in Alfie’s mind—he takes what he wants, when he wants it. That makes the lingering sense of forbidden territory feel more exciting.

I gasp as his swollen tip strokes between my folds, finding my throbbing entrance. He’s not wearing a condom—I can immediately tell the difference between lubricated rubber and the silkiness of his raw head—and the realization sends a jolt through my body. I shouldn’t allow it. I’ve never had sex without a condom before, and there are so many reasons I should insist he put one on. But my heart is in my throat, trapping any of my objections, and every nerve in my body hums with the need for him to keep going.

“This pussy’s mine,” Alfie murmurs against my ear, raising goosebumps along my neck. He presses inside of me at a tantalizing pace, making me feel every inch of his thick length as he enters me without protection, nothing to separate his hard cock from my hot, wet core.

It’s entirely reckless—especially when I’m not even sure I want to stay with Alfie—but it feels so much better than sex with a condom; I can’t even think straight. I just want more. Moaning, I lean my cheek against the cool shower wall as I rock back with my hips, and he slides deeper inside me. The friction of his bare skin on mine sets my body on fire, releasing tingles up and down my spine.

“ Fuck , Mika,” Alfie growls, one hand firmly holding my hip as he buries himself inside me to the hilt.

I whimper, biting my lip hard as I fight the urge to cry out. It’s so sinfully pleasurable, I don’t want him to stop, even though I know I should. Slowly, he rocks inside me, his fingers continuing their relentless circle against my pulsing clit. The pleasure is indescribable. Every inch of me feels like a live wire, hot and electric all at once. And when his free hand slides up my belly to palm my breast, I soak up his enveloping warmth. The water trickles gently down on us, but nothing is going to put out the fire he’s lit inside me. Hands pressed against the shower wall, I rock with Alfie, absorbing his steady thrusts as they grow deeper, and more urgent.

Taking this kind of risk isn’t like me, and I know it. Nothing about my reactions to Alfie is normal, but I can’t seem to help myself. He terrifies me because of it, and yet, I’ve never felt so alive, so intensely present. The feeling is intoxicating, and if I’m not careful, I could get hooked on it. I might already be addicted to his touch. Despite how commanding and possessive he is—or maybe even because of it—I get lost in the passion, swept up by a desire unlike anything I’ve felt before. I just can’t get enough.

Tingling euphoria washes out to my fingers and toes, telling me I’m moments from release, and I’m stunned to find how quickly I reach that precarious ledge. The adrenaline lingering in my veins after the explosion has me teetering on the edge within minutes, and the thrill of having unprotected sex for the first time only heightens that sensation. “Oh god!” I gasp, my muscles tightening as that ball of tension snaps inside me—followed by an explosion of relief.

Alfie groans, his cock slamming into me, and I shudder as a thrill of fear mingles with my euphoria.

Did he come inside me?

He pauses, buried in my depths, though his fingers continue to tease my clit until I’m panting from the overwhelming force of my orgasm. I can’t stay focused through the intensity of my climax, and my mind goes blank, releasing all my fears as stars burst behind my eyelids. I grip his hard length again and again, spasming around him as my body begs him to come with me. But in the tingling aftermath of my explosive orgasm, I can tell he hasn’t yet. He’s still rock hard and so big he’s stretching my body to its limits, but judging by his muttered string of what I can only guess is Italian profanity, it’s not hard to imagine the effort it took to hold back. As the last of my powerful aftershocks subsides, Alfie pulls out of me abruptly.

I gasp from the sudden emptiness, my stomach sinking with the strangely devastating sense of loss, and I turn to face him, my lips parting to ask if something’s wrong. The blazing heat in his eyes tells me it’s the opposite, and before I can say anything, Alfie’s lips press forcefully against mine. Scooping me into his arms, he lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his hips as he carries me from the shower. I kiss him with carnal hunger, vaguely noting the towel he drapes around my shoulders without setting me on the ground.

Then we’re toppling into bed together as Alfie resumes where we left off.