5. Nico

CHAPTER FIVE

NICO

“ Y our—” I coughed to clear the hoarseness from my voice. “Your security’s shit.”

Elise snorted. “Not like I have anything worth stealing.”

Silence fell between us. Thick. Tense. I could feel her eyes on me, waiting for an explanation. My skin prickled with anticipation, but I stayed frozen. What could I possibly say?

“It’s me.” The words tasted like ash in my mouth.

Elise’s eyes hardened. “Explain.”

I gestured helplessly at the photos. “It’s still hazy. Like a dream remembered in a dream. I did this. Locked in my wolf, I did all of this.”

“How long?” Elise’s voice was stronger now, edged with steel. “How long have you been trapped as a wolf?”

I closed my eyes, trying to sort through the tangled mess of memories. “Three years,” I said finally. “Since my sister’s wedding.”

Another long stretch of silence. I listened to the sound of her heart beating. Slower now, calmer. When I opened my eyes, it was to find hers narrowed. Assessing the threat.

“Sit,” she commanded, pointing to the small table pressed against a wall. “You’re going to tell me everything.”

I did as she commanded, unable to resist my alpha. Even though she wasn’t my alpha. The contradictions swam through my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut against the rising tide of my inner wolf.

He wanted out. To escape the painful memories. To hunt those that needed hunting.

To claim the female glaring a hole between our eyes.

She disappeared momentarily, only to return and toss the quilt into my lap. “Now, spill. From the beginning.”

“I grew up in the Bassani shifter syndicate,” I started, my voice halting. Hard lessons to never speak of our vows were tough to break through, even after so long and so much betrayal. “We were deep into organized crime. Protection rackets, smuggling, money laundering—you name it, we had a hand in it.”

I risked a glance at Elise. She’d moved closer, leaning against the counter. Her fingers tapped a restless rhythm, nails clicking against wood, but she nodded for me to continue.

“I was always big for my age. Good with my fists. I fell in with the enforcers before the end of high school.” A bitter laugh escaped me. “Turns out I had a real talent for cracking skulls and breaking kneecaps.”

Shame burned through me at the admission. I’d been so proud of my strength back then. So eager to prove myself to the family.

“My sister, though... she was something else. Cunning. Gorgeous. It was no wonder she caught the eye of a Calafiori—a rival’s son.” I swallowed hard, pushing back the tidal wave of grief that threatened to sink me back into madness. “The head of our family saw an opportunity. He arranged an alliance through marriage.”

Elise’s brow furrowed. “But you didn’t approve.”

“No,” I admitted. “I had a bad feeling about the whole thing. So, I... I started feeding rumors and information to the Varano family. I thought if I could destabilize the match, maybe we could break free. Start over somewhere new.”

Fuck, it sounded stupid now. Like some kind of fairytale ending instead of the train wreck it turned out to be.

“But I played right into their hands and sparked a war instead,” I continued, hot anger coiling in my gut. “The groom’s family double-crossed us. After hearing about my deal with the Varanos, the Calafioris cut their own. The combined forces attacked during the wedding celebrations, after we’d had time to get good and liquored up.”

I could still hear the gunshots. The screams. The sickening crunch of bones as shifters tore into each other, human and animal forms alike.

“It was chaos,” I said flatly. My palms ached, and I realized I’d clenched them into tight fists. “Blood everywhere. I saw my father go down, his throat torn out. My mother... she didn’t even have time to shift before they gunned her down.”

Elise’s hand twitched, as if she wanted to reach out to me. But she held back, her eyes wary.

“And your sister?” she asked softly.

The image flashed before my eyes, as vivid as the day it happened. My baby sister, resplendent in her white dress, now stained crimson. The silver bullet tearing through her chest. The look of shock and betrayal on her face as she crumpled to the ground.

“She took a bullet meant for me,” I choked out. “I watched the light fade from her eyes, not knowing it was my fault. All of it.”

Silence fell between us. Not companionable or reassuring. Just tense and heavy with the weight of my confession. Of who I’d been—what I’d done—before I became an animal.

No. I’d always been an animal. The frenzy that followed, that was just another piece of my rotten core exposed.

“And these?” She tapped her finger hard against the files, dragging me back to the present. “How are they connected?”

“Enforcers. Bosses. Full-blooded members of the families involved in the massacre.” I paused, swallowing hard. “I don’t remember all the details. I’ve seen flashes of memory while locked in my wolf, but I don’t remember doing it.”

“You killed them,” she said bluntly. “In a feral rage, you killed them.”

“Yes.” I met her gaze. “Or rather, my wolf did.”

Something passed through Elise’s eyes—a glimmer of understanding? Whatever it was, it faded quickly, leaving only cool appraisal in its wake.

“Why are we hearing about this now?” she demanded. “This would have been easy to spot a year ago. Three, even.” She frowned, turning a photo to face her. “You weren’t exactly discreet.”

She was right. It should have raised red flags a hundred times over, but the families protected their own. Instead of investigating, they sent enforcers like me after the traitors they knew existed.

“Don’t know. Maybe there’s no one left to do the cleanup jobs.” I bared my teeth in a vicious grin. “Maybe they’re terrified, and hoping someone puts me down for them.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? An out,” she sneered. “After all, you didn’t do this, your wolf did. Right? And before that, those kneecaps and you-name-its? You didn’t hurt anyone, you were just following orders. No need to face your actions when you can blame it all on being a mindless beast.”

“If you’re asking if I regret it, if I’d hold back if I caught one of those bastards again? Absolutely not.” I lifted my chin and met her furious glare with one of my own. “They deserved their deaths. I’d rip their throats out today, yesterday, tomorrow. Forever and ever until their corpses fill some of this hole in my chest!”

“New York.” She flicked a picture off the counter to flutter to my feet. “Jersey. Pennsylvania. Illinois. Kansas.” One after another, picture after picture. “Colorado.” She paused, eyes blazing. “You’re still hunting them, aren’t you?”

My wolf prowled under my skin, howling for justice. For revenge. He didn’t care how much blood we spilled, as long as they paid. As long as we avenged our pack’s death. Nothing would stop us—nothing short of death itself.

“They deserved it,” I repeated on a growl. “After what they did to my pack?—”

“And that makes it okay?” Elise’s lips curled back in disgust. “You’re no better than the criminals you were trying to escape. You’re worse, because at least they owned up to what they were.”

Fury scorched my insides, and my wolf lunged for control, but I held him back. Barely. My heart pounded, breath ragged. My knuckles whitened where my fingers dug gouges into the table, struggling to stay anchored. To stay human.

Elise arched an infuriatingly cool eyebrow at the display.

“You can’t possibly understand,” I gritted out, teetering on the knife’s edge of control. “What I’ve lost, what I’ve done?—”

“Oh, fuck you,” Elise cut me off, venom dripping from her words. “You don’t know a damn thing about me. You don’t know what I’ve done or what I’ve lost.” She stood, pacing the small space between us like a caged animal. “But I didn’t go on a cross-country killing spree over it. I didn’t become the very thing I hated.”

Something inside me snapped, and the last thread of self-control shattered. With a roar, I surged to my feet and pinned Elise against the wall. I wrapped my hand around her throat, not squeezing, but holding her in place. Our faces were inches apart, her breath hot against my skin.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snarled, my voice barely human.

But instead of fighting back, instead of clawing or biting or kicking, Elise went limp in my grasp. Her eyes met mine, filled with a pain so deep it took my breath away.

“Do it,” she whispered. “Just fucking do it already. Kill me.”

The fight drained out of me in an instant, and I released her as if I’d been burned. Elise slumped against the wall, her chest heaving.

“What...” I shook my head, trying to make sense of what had just happened. “Elise, what are you talking about?”

She laughed, a broken, hollow sound that made my wolf whine in distress. “You’re not the only one with blood on your hands, Nico.”

In that moment, I saw her. Really saw her. I recognized the fire in her eyes, the tension in her shoulders. Guilt and shame weighed down her scent. Muscles coiled tight, ready to lash out at any hint of pity or weakness.

She was drowning, just like I had been. Desperate for someone to pull her back from the edge. Daring the world to push her under.

She needed someone to be strong for her, but in a way she could control. Someone who could weather the storm of her rage and hurt without breaking. I could be that for her—the immovable object to her unstoppable force.

My wolf growled in approval, recognizing a kindred spirit. We both knew that sometimes, the only way to help someone was to give them something to push against.

I braced my arm next to her head, caging her against the wall. With my free hand, I caught her chin and forced her eyes to meet mine. “What did you do, Elise?”