3. Elise

CHAPTER THREE

ELISE

W hat did I do?

The clock on the wall of Big Red Gas & Repair mocked me with every tick. I drummed an impatient rhythm on the counter and glared at the bag of shaving supplies resting at my feet.

Fucking Nico.

My hand drifted to my neck, fingers tracing the unmarked skin where Nico’s bite should have been. The phantom ache of rejection burned through me, and my wolf snarled her displeasure. He’d left enough bruising kisses that, if I’d been human, anyone with a working eyeball would immediately know I’d had a late-night rough-and-tumble.

But a mating mark? Some outward, lasting sign that I hadn’t broken one of our most sacred laws in a life-ending mistake?

Except it wasn’t a mistake, was it? My wolf knew. She’d recognized our mate the moment we’d locked eyes by that stream.

Only fate hated me, and saddled me with a mate more wolf than man. Two words! Two words and the best fuck of my life were all I got out of him before his wolf stole his skin again.

But I’d fucked up. Marked him without consent. I’d let instinct run roughshod over my control and took what I wanted, just like dear old Dad.

What the fuck was I doing?

My wolf bristled at the comparison, but I shoved her back. She could snap and snarl all she wanted about my continued denial of our power, but this... this had taken the top spot on the ever-growing list of reasons I was unfit to lead. Hell, it’d been underlined so hard the paper tore clean through.

My father would have?—

No. I wouldn’t go there. I wasn’t him. I wasn’t.

The bell above the door chimed and yanked me from my spiraling thoughts. I glanced up to see Maddy entering with little Violet nestled against her chest in a sling.

Something in me softened at the sight of the infant. Damn Rafe for being right about the pup. His whole justification for accepting an arranged mating with Maddy was to pop out an heir and give the pack something to rally around. And Violet had drawn us together. We could go from smiles to a brawl in seconds, but every last one would wade into some casual atrocities to keep Violet safe.

I leaned over the counter, a gentle coo escaping my lips. Violet gurgled happily and waved pudgy fingers through the air. I offered my hand, and she latched on with surprising strength, shoving it toward her mouth.

“Hey there, little one,” I murmured as I kept out of that mawed doom. “Aren’t you getting big?”

Violet kicked her legs and bounced, apparently pleased with the greeting.

“It seems she thinks so,” Maddy said, sounding amused. “Can I get fifteen on pump three?”

I reclaimed my hand and punched buttons on the ancient register. “Sure thing.”

Maddy fished out her wallet and handed over two crisp bills. The money went in, and she got change. Routine stuff, except...

Except she lingered, which wasn’t routine at all. Normally, we’d do this dance with barely a word. She’d grab her gas or pay for something, and head out. No lingering, no chatting, no real friendship.

Maddy’s eyes met mine over Violet’s head, her expression a mix of warmth and determination that set my teeth on edge. I knew that look. It meant she was here to talk.

“Sooo,” she began, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. “About yesterday with Rafe...”

I stiffened, but Violet chose that moment to let out a happy squeal. The sound kept me from snapping, but only just. Maddy pressed on, either oblivious to the danger or—more likely—choosing to ignore it.

“He’s just trying to take care of the pack. If we want to stay our own, independent pack, we can’t rely on another alpha’s protection for our day-to-day lives. It just means we need to scale back.”

My jaw clenched so hard I thought my teeth might crack. We’d already had a rogue slip into the territory. One more fuckable than dangerous, but he was hardly the first. Fates, a human had set up camp practically in our laps and caught us with our pants down. That asshole Bowen dragged us from our beds when he tried to torture us into submission.

But as I looked down at Violet, still staring up at me with those big, trusting eyes, something in me wavered.

Grudgingly, I had to admit that Maddy and Rafe were trying. They weren’t even bad at it, really. Violet was proof of that—healthy, happy, surrounded by a pack that adored her.

We’d come out of our battles, too. A little more broken than before, but alive and kicking. We kept climbing to our feet, wiping the blood from our mouths, and squaring up to the next threat.

“Just...” Maddy sighed. “Give Rafe a break? Okay?”

I wanted to tell her to go to hell. To remind her that I’d given up my birthright for the good of the pack. That I’d stepped aside so Rafe could play alpha.

There was a reason rejects were killed in fights for alpha. Too many alphas in the pack were the evil twin of too many cooks in the kitchen. The friction they— I —caused was poison, otherwise.

For a long moment, I said nothing. Then, slowly, I nodded. “Fine,” I bit out. “I’ll try.”

Relief flooded Maddy’s face, and she gave me a tentative smile. As she turned to leave, a thought struck me, and my lips quirked upward.

“You brought Violet to soften me up, didn’t you?”

She grinned over her shoulder, utterly unabashed. “I use every weapon at my disposal.”

I snorted, oddly impressed by her cunning. Little shit.

They were almost out the door when my resumed finger-drumming landed on the stack of purchase orders. “Oh, hey,” I called after her, “can you tell Kai the part for his SUV will be in by the end of the week?”

Maddy paused, her eyebrows climbing high. “Really? Kai said it’d be at least a month.”

Yeah, well, sometimes I fixed the problems instead of causing them. Even if it was just making phone calls to other shops for an inventory check instead of waiting for a shipment from the vendor.

I shrugged and turned away, pretending to straighten a counter display of air fresheners. “Guess they had it in stock after all.”

I waited until I heard the ding of the exit chime before letting out a breath. Well, at least I’d done one thing right today. Maybe I could still salvage the clusterfuck of my life.

At the very least, maybe I could repair the damage I’d done with Nico.

If he hadn’t abandoned our bond—and sanity—entirely.

The sun was setting as I pulled up to the abandoned cabin where I’d stashed Nico. My stomach churned with nerves as I killed the engine and stared at the ramshackle building.

Would he be angry that I’d left him?

Was he even human again?

What if he wasn’t here anymore? What if he’d wandered off somewhere, and I never saw him again? Or worse, someone else found him. Someone who couldn’t handle his rougher edges.

That was the danger with rogues. Once their animal took control, they were no better than the beasts in the woods. Hurt was met with hurt, whether it landed on another shifter, some wild creature, or an innocent human.

To keep ourselves safe, rogues were put down before they could ruin lives and reveal our existence to the world.

So, what did I do? Mate one.

My nose twitched as I stepped out of my car, searching for any trace of recent patrols. Nothing. Just musty wood, rotting leaves, and the faintest touch of familiar fur.

Anger flared in my chest, even as relief doused the heat. This was the far edge of Dusk Valley territory, but still our territory. The pack would have passed through if we had our full numbers.

But no fresh scents meant no one had stumbled across my dirty little secret.

The cabin door creaked open, and my stomach clenched. I took in the wreckage with a frown that deepened by the damage—splintered furniture, gouged walls, shredded curtains. It looked like a tornado had torn through the place.

Fuck. What had I been thinking, leaving a feral wolf alone here?

I stepped inside, my boots crunching over shattered glass and plaster. The silence pressed in around me, broken only by the rapid thudding of my heart. Where the hell was he?

A low growl rumbled from the back bedroom. I squared my shoulders and strode forward, shoving aside my rising panic. This was my fault. I’d marked him without permission, without even knowing if he was sane enough to understand what I’d done. The least I could do was face the consequences.

I found him crouched in the corner, fur bristling along his spine. Those silver eyes locked onto me, filled with feral rage and confusion. His lips peeled back from gleaming fangs as another snarl ripped from his throat.

Ignoring the threat display, I tossed the bag of shaving supplies at his feet. “Shift,” I ordered, injecting steel into my voice. “Now.”

He didn’t move. Just kept growling, muscles bunched and ready to spring.

I took a deep breath, calling on every ounce of dominance I possessed. It wasn’t the raw power between a true alpha and packmate, but I’d been raised by an asshole and surrounded by rough shifters my entire life. No way in fuck would a strange rogue with my mate mark send me tucking my tail in fear.

“I said shift .”

For a long moment, we faced each other down. My wolf paced restlessly beneath my skin, itching for action. To fight or fuck, I couldn’t tell. All I knew was that she was hungry for the male glaring daggers at me from his haunches.

Then, with a whine that was equal parts pain and frustration that I understood down to my bones, his form blurred. Fur receded, limbs elongated, and suddenly Nico knelt before me in all his naked glory.

Fuck, he was gorgeous. All hard muscle and olive skin, marred by scars both old and new. My eyes traced the line of dark hair trailing down his abs, and lower still...

I jerked my gaze away, furious at myself for the surge of heat that pooled low in my belly. This wasn’t the time. He needed help. Not a hormone-addled idiot thinking with her clit instead of her brain.

“Do you remember me?” I asked, proud of how steady my voice sounded. “Do you remember my name?”

His throat worked, throat bobbing as he swallowed. When he spoke, his voice was a rusty rasp. “Elise.”

Something in me loosened at the sound of my name on his lips. He remembered. That had to count for something, right?

I nodded toward the supplies. “Clean yourself up. You look like shit.”

Nico’s silver eyes flashed, and a low growl rumbled in his chest. But he listened, reaching for the bag with shaking hands.

I chewed my bottom lip as he struggled with the zipper. He pulled out the razor, but it slipped from his fingers and clattered to the ground.

“Fuck,” he growled, reaching for the blade again.

The vulnerability in that small action hit me like a punch to the gut. This wasn’t the fierce, feral creature who’d fucked me senseless by the stream. This was a broken man, struggling to remember how to be human.

Before I could think better of it, I crossed the room and took the razor from him.

“Here,” I said, gentler this time. “I’ll do it.”

Nico shot me a wary look, but his hand fell back to his side. His jaw clenched, and I could practically see his pride warring with practicality. But then he nodded, a sharp jerk of his chin, and settled with his legs stretched out in front of him.

I hesitated, then reached for the scissors. Up close and without the fog of lust, I could see just how matted and tangled his hair and beard had become. Best to cut them first, then deal with the scraping and scrubbing.

“Hold still,” I murmured, tilting his chin up with my free hand. His scent enveloped me—cedar and espresso and wild things. It made my head spin and my wolf howl.

He didn’t answer, but I hadn’t really expected him to. I set to work, carefully trimming away the worst of the tangles.

“How long have you been...” I trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. Feral? Insane? Running from a cabal of evil hairdressers?

He was quiet for so long, I thought he wouldn’t answer. Then, so softly I almost missed it: “Don’t know. Lost track.”

I knew that feeling all too well. The way minutes could stretch into hours, days blurring together in a haze of fur and fang. But to lose yourself so completely...

My nails raked across his scalp as I worked, and his eyelids fluttered shut. A shiver rippled down his spine, and I couldn’t resist sliding my palm along his bare skin. Warmth spread through me at the contact, chasing away the chill that had settled in my bones.

Tension melted from his body, and his breathing grew slow and steady. For a moment, we could’ve been anywhere else in the world, just two people sharing space.

The steady snip of scissors filled the air between us. “Where are you from?”

Another long pause. “North. I think.”

Well, that narrowed it down to about half the continent. Still, it was more than I’d had before.

I moved to his front, lifting his chin so I could start on his beard. Haunted eyes cracked open to meet mine before I could make the first snip.

I’d never done this for anyone before, never been trusted with something so... vulnerable. One slip, and I could open his jugular.

But Nico’s eyes never left mine as I worked, steady and unblinking. Like he knew I’d rather cut off my own arm than hurt him.

He lifted his hand to rest lightly on my hip. His thumb slipped under my shirt and traced a slow circle over my skin. I tried to ignore how right it felt to have my hands on him, to care for him like this, but it was near impossible to deny with my wolf watching with rapt attention.

His scent filled my nose and made my mouth water for another taste of him. I held back—just. There was still half a beard to trim down, and whatever cleanup he wanted for his shag cut.

And about a thousand more who, what, and wheres.

“Any pack?” I asked in the silence.

That got a reaction. Nico’s entire body went rigid, a low growl rumbling in his chest. I paused, waiting to see if he’d lash out. But after a moment, he relaxed marginally.

“No pack,” he rasped, his voice still rough from disuse. “Not anymore.”

I set the scissors aside. “What happened to them?”

Silence stretched between us, broken only by the soft sound of our breaths and hearts. Just when I thought he wouldn’t answer, Nico spoke again.

“Dead. All of them.” His voice was flat, devoid of emotion. As if he were reporting on the weather instead of the slaughter of his family.

Fuck. No wonder he’d lost himself to the wolf. The pain of losing a packmate was excruciating. To lose them all...

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, meaning it.

The words were inadequate, but what else could I say? Nothing made the pain disappear after my father’s death, and he’d been an awful bastard. But the few moments he had a smile and kind word? They were gone. For good. Never to be heard or felt again.

Nico had lost even more.

He shrugged, the movement almost imperceptible. “Long time ago.”

But the shadows in his eyes told a different story. Whatever had happened, it still haunted him. Still drove him to the edge of madness.

I wanted to press for details. To demand answers about who had killed his pack, and why. But one look at his face told me that would be a mistake. He’d already given me more than I had any right to expect.

So instead, I finished snipping and trimming in silence. When I was done, I sat back on my heels to admire my handiwork.

Holy shit.

Without the beard and wild hair, Nico was even more stunning than I’d realized. Strong jaw, full lips, those silver eyes framed by impossibly long lashes. He looked younger, too. Barely older than me, if I had to guess.

Our gazes locked, and the air between us crackled with electricity. My breath caught in my throat as he leaned toward me, one hand coming up to cup my cheek.

I should have pulled away. Should have remembered all the reasons this was a terrible idea.

Instead, I met him halfway.

The kiss was softer than our time by the stream, tinged with something that felt dangerously close to tenderness. His lips moved against mine with aching gentleness, as if he was afraid I might shatter beneath his touch.

With a groan, I deepened the kiss. Nico’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me flush against his chest. I could feel the heat of his skin through my t-shirt, and it sent sparks of electricity dancing along my nerves.

My wolf howled her approval, urging me to take more, more, more.

And fuck me, I didn’t want to resist. Not when my entire being ached for his touch, craved his bite, needed him like I needed air and blood pumping in my veins.

Mate.

His hands slid under my shirt, caressing my skin as if I were precious. Cherished. I shivered as his calluses whispered across my stomach, tracing patterns of fire over my skin.

Just as I started to lose myself in the sensations, a noise broke through the fog.

My cell phone, vibrating insistently in my pocket.

Fucking perfect timing.

“Shit,” I groaned, fumbling for my phone. The alarm flashed accusingly: ‘Meeting with Rafe - 10 minutes’.

Time had gotten away from me.

Reluctantly, I pulled back, dragging in ragged breaths. My heart thundered in my chest, and it took everything in me not to drag Nico down for another searing kiss.

“I have to go,” I said, hating how rough my voice sounded. How shaky and wrecked. “Pack business.”

Nico nodded, his expression unreadable. He caught my wrist as I stood, his touch sending shivers up my arm. “Why are you helping me?”

The question hit me like a punch to the gut. Why was I helping him? Because he was my mate? Because I felt guilty for marking him without permission? Or was it something deeper—some primal need to protect and care for this broken wolf?

“I don’t know,” I admitted. It was the most honest answer I could give.

Nico’s eyes searched my face, looking for... what? Deception? Pity? Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him, because he released my wrist with a nod.

I hesitated at the bedroom door, torn between the urge to run and the desire to crawl back into his arms. “Try not to destroy any more furniture while I’m gone, okay?”

A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. “I’ll do my best.”

With a final nod, I turned and fled.

What the fuck was I doing?