28. Catherine

28

CATHERINE

As soon as I see Cole is happy about Holden switching places with me, I make my way off the field and go back to sitting in the stands with Holden’s family. “Sitting this one out?” Chrissy asks.

She’s smirking at me, and I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah.”

She leans forward and squints. “Wow, I can see Cole’s and Holden’s smiles from here.”

I swallow and nod. “Yeah, they both seem pretty pleased.”

Chrissy turns in her seat. “What about you, Cat? You deserve happiness too.”

I choke back the emotion, cover my heart with my palm, and watch the game taking place in front of me. All I can do is watch the way Cole laughs at something Holden says to him and the way they encourage each other. Holden doesn’t look like a man that just lost a big game. If anything, he looks like a man that is completely happy with his life right now.

They only play a few innings, and even though Holden’s family all stays to watch, I am glued to the game instead of the conversation around me.

I reflect on the last twenty-four hours and how I have really missed Holden. I’m not sure what to make of him being here tonight, but I’m not going to let this opportunity pass me by. The future is unknown, but I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t at least tell him how I feel.

When the game is over, I watch as Holden carries that pink glove in one hand with his other arm around Cole. They’re talking and laughing, and they stop a few times as people come up to fist-bump them and congratulate them on the game.

When they step off the field, Holden looks up and watches me until he and Cole stop in front of me. “Good game, guys.”

Cole is looking between me and Holden. “Thanks, Mom. I’m going to hang out with Gabe and King so you guys can talk. ”

I nod as I look at Holden, trying to read what he’s thinking. I suck in a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

He nods, but the parents keep stopping to talk to us until finally, Holden holds his hand out to me, and as soon as I put my hand in his, he’s pulling me toward the outfield. We only stop when King hollers out to us, “We’re taking Cole for ice cream. You can pick him up at the house later.”

Holden looks at me. “Is that okay with you?”

I nod, and Holden waves them off.

Once we’re in the parking lot, Holden stops next to his truck and shoves his hand through his hair. “Do you like me, Cat? Do you like being with me?”

I shake my head side to side. “No… I mean yes.”

Holden sucks in a breath. “Which is it, because you’re killing me here.”

I pull back my shoulders and tilt my head back so I’m looking him straight in the face. “Holden, I like being with you because usually my mind goes a hundred miles a minute, but with you, it’s like there’s a calm that comes over me.”

Before he can say anything, I take a step toward him and put my hands at his waist. He sucks in a breath on contact, but he doesn’t reach for me, and I can’t say I blame him. I’ve been hot and cold, and he deserves more than that. “I like that you make me laugh. I like that you’re good to my son. I like that you care about your family. But no, Holden. I don’t like you.” I shudder a breath and force the words out. “I’m falling in love with you. I love being with you, and it scares the hell out of me.”

His hands go to my shoulders. “Why?”

I lift my shoulders up. “Look at your life. I can’t compete with that.”

He blurts out a laugh. “You don’t get it, Cat. You want to know what I was thinking about at my game tonight?”

I blink at him, scared to ask, but I have to know. “What?”

“You. None of it mattered since you and Cole weren’t there. I know it seems like this all happened so fast, but it feels like forever that I’ve been waiting for you. I love you, Cat, and I know that scares you, but I can’t do the secret thing anymore. I want the world to know you’re mine.”

I’m trembling, but I’m not going to let my fear hold me back. “I love you too, Holden. ”

He wastes no time. He pulls me flush against his body and kisses me until I’m breathless. The only reason we pull apart is because there’s clapping, and when we lift our heads to look, we see King, Haven, and Cole all sitting in King’s car. King leans out the window. “See you later.”

Holden twirls my hair in his fingers. “I talked to Cole out there tonight. I asked him if he was okay with us dating.”

I bite my lip and try to contain my smile. How is this my life? “I don’t even have to ask what he said. I’m sure he said he was happy about it.”

Holden presses his finger to my lip and soothes across where I was biting it. “Yeah, but he told me that if I was serious about you that I should think about marrying you.”

I can feel all the heat rush to my face. “Oh my God, he didn’t.”

He’s chuckling. “He did. Does that freak you out?”

I’m surprised by his question, but instead of answering him, I ask him the same thing in return. “What about you? Does that freak you out?”

He cradles my face in his hands. “No, I told him I’d see if I could talk you into it. ”

Speechless, all I can do is stare at him.

He doesn’t blink, look away, or hesitate. “I’m going to get you used to the idea of us being together, but eventually, you’re going to be Mrs. Catherine Gray.”

“Oh, Holden.”

He pulls me in for another kiss, and before I get too carried away, he pulls back. “I’m sorry, but I have to go back to Jasper tonight. Let’s go get Cole and let me get you two home.”

“I’ll go get him so you can get back. I’m going to come to the game tomorrow, if that’s okay.”

His eyes light up. “Okay? Of course it’s okay. I want you both there. I’ll leave you tickets at the gate.”

I grasp his hand. “Walk me to my car.”

Hand in hand, we walk. “This doesn’t feel right. I want to be with you tonight.”

“Your last game of the season is tomorrow, Holden. We can be together after that. I mean, you may want to celebrate or do something else tomorrow night, but we can be together another day.”

He stops walking. “You don’t get it. I want to be with you… I win, I lose, whatever. I want to be with you. ”

I go up on my tiptoes. “I want that too.”

We kiss again, and my heart does a little flutter in my chest. Holden makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, and even though it scares me, I’m going in full force. No more hiding, no more fear, I’m going to love Holden for as long as he’ll let me.