16. Catherine

16

CATHERINE

As I walk into the living room at Holden’s house, I’m still on a high. Seeing my son happy tonight means everything to me. I should go to bed. Heck, I should have been in bed hours ago, but I’m just too ramped up from the night.

“Well, he’s in bed, but I don’t see him going to sleep for a while.” I stop next to the sofa that Holden’s sitting on. “Tonight was a good night.”

Holden is still smiling. “It was a good night.”

“Thank you—”

He sits up and holds his hand out. “Nope. No more thank yous. I wanted to treat Cole and his friends. That was a hard win. They deserved it.”

I sit down on the couch, and even though there’s a half of a cushion between us, my heart still feels like it’s galloping in my chest. This man is something else. “No, I mean, yeah, thanks for dinner and feeding all Cole’s friends, but I’m talking about what you did for Cole. I’m not sure what you did, but you made a difference in him.”

Holden scoots to the edge of the couch, excited. “Yeah, he pitched lights out. I was super—”

I raise my hand up to stop him. “Yeah, he pitched well, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I can see a difference in him since he’s been here. There’s a confidence in him and well, he’s a good kid. He’s always been a good kid, but he’s standing up for himself now, and well, thank you.”

Holden tries to blow it off. “I didn’t do—”

I laugh, because I can’t help it. “Don’t say you didn’t do anything. You working with him means everything. I know you should be focusing on your health and your game, but you took time out for my kid. I just, I want you to know I appreciate it… more than you’ll ever know.”

He’s listening to me now, and he nods his head. “I know you do, but I’ll be honest with you, Cat. He’s a good kid. That’s all you. All I did was help him with his game.”

I wish he could see the difference he’s making. It’s not just his game he’s helped him with. It’s always been hard for Cole that he doesn’t have a male figure in his life. I try to do it all and play both roles, but it’s not the same. “It’s more than that. And I mean, your whole family, the way they all showed up tonight for Cole.”

I stop because I know if I continue, I’m going to cry.

Holden is nodding his head, smiling. “Yeah, my family is pretty awesome.”

“Tell me about them. I know Gabe is your biological brother. Tell me how the rest of you all met.”

“We were all in the same foster home. King, Ledger, Dom, Gabe, and I had been in multiple homes through the years. I was eleven and Gabe was ten when we got placed in the same home as King, Ledger, and Dom. They sort of just took us in. We worked the system and we knew that we wouldn’t be separated after that. We took care of each other.”

“And Chrissy?”

“Uh, we were there a few years before Chrissy came to live with us. She was eight, I think. She ended up in a house full of boys, which is pretty wild when you think about it. Anything could have happened to her. ”

He’s thinking about it, and the fear is plain on his face. I reach over and put my hand in his. “But nothing happened to her, Holden.”

He squeezes my hand. “Yeah, we all took care of her. We protected her. She was almost adopted twice but messed it up both times. She didn’t want to leave us.”

“Wow,” I exclaim with surprise.

Holden’s nodding, like he’s lost in memory. “Yeah, at the time, we wondered if she’d be better off in a home with a mom and a dad, but she was not having it. She ran away, and Gabe is the one that found her. She wouldn’t come back until he promised her that he wouldn’t let anyone take her from us.” He laughs. “It was a lot of work and a bunch of shenanigans, but we kept our promise to her.”

I should let go of his hand, but I don’t. “Yeah, I think it worked out. Chrissy’s an amazing woman.”

He nods, but I see the regret on his face.

I tap his hand and then release it. “Hey! Where’d you go? What are you thinking about?”

He shakes his head and then looks at me. I try to hide the fact I’m attracted to him, but I can’t help but wonder if he knows. He slides toward me. He’s not touching me, but he might as well be. He’s so close I can feel the heat radiating off of him. “I need to talk to you about something.”

I pull back, surprised. I’m not sure what he’s about to say, but I mentally try to prepare myself for it. Is he going to tell me he’s having pain? Is he going to say he’s found someone else to do his therapy?

I take a deep breath. “Sure. What is it?”

His voice is husky, and he’s looking at my lips. “I like you.”

I wish I could say I have a normal reaction, but I don’t. My heart does a little flip. My palms get sweaty, and I feel like I can’t catch my breath. I need to be cool about this because even though I feel the same way too, I know nothing can happen between us. “Uh, well, I like you too, Holden, but…”

He leans toward me. “No but. We like each other.”

“But—”

He cuts me off again and laughs. “Cat, tell me the truth. Do you feel the attraction between us?”

The way he’s looking at me with heated curiosity, I can’t lie to him. “Yeah, I’m attracted to you, Holden. But I don’t date patients.”

“I’m your patient for one more month. ”

I hate thinking of this ending, but I know it has to. He’s right; there’s only one month left of this, and then Cole and I are moving back home. Would it be so horrible to have fun while it lasts? As soon as the thought comes, I push it aside. “Holden, I have a son to think about, and I wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

He reaches for my hand and holds it between us. His thumb is wreaking havoc on my skin. “Wrong idea about what?”

For the first time in forever, I want something I can’t—I shouldn’t—want. I’m a rule follower and always have been. Me wanting Holden is not a good thing, and there’s no way I can give in to my desires. “This would be a fling. This is a temporary situation and then you’ll go back to your career and forget about me.” He starts to talk, but I hold my hand up. “No, don’t give me any promises that you can’t keep. I know what this would be, Holden, and no matter how much I want to give in, enjoy it while it lasts, I can’t let myself.”

He brings one hand up and cups my cheek. If he wasn’t touching me, this would be so much easier. His thumb brushes back and forth lightly across my cheek. “Really? You’re going to end this before it even gets started, Cat? ”

When his thumb lightly strokes across my lip, I gasp because it’s so intimate. We’re looking into each other’s eyes, and it’s like I can feel his touch everywhere. My body comes alive when he looks at me like he is. I barely get the words out, and they sound hesitant and unsure. “This is a bad idea.”

It’s as if he doesn’t hear me because he leans in. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

He doesn’t hesitate. He leans in, and as soon as his lips touch mine, I know it’s no use resisting him. His lips are firm against mine, and his hand tightens at the side of my neck. His tongue slides across the seam of my lips, wanting entrance, and I let him in. The kiss goes from a simple peck to an intense ravaging of my mouth. His tongue slides along mine, and I groan as he lifts me like I weigh nothing and pulls me to his lap. I’m straddling him, and I’m flush to his body, my breasts pressed into his chest and my core lodged against his hips. A shifting of my hips has me gasping as his manhood presses against me. I gasp and pull away from him, trying to get off his lap, but he doesn’t let me. We’re both heaving, wide-eyed, staring into each other’s eyes. Shock is evident on his face, and it’s exactly how I feel.

“Holden, you have to let me up. ”

He tries to calm his breath and nods his head. “I will, I’m going to let you up, but first I need to know you’re not going to walk away from me.”

“I won’t,” I promise him.

He sets me on the couch next to him and holds my hand, threading our fingers together. I try to pull myself together, but this is all too much. I’ve never wanted to do something I shouldn’t more than I do right now.

“This can’t happen.”

He barks out a laugh. “Really? Because after that, I really think this needs to happen. That kiss was everything, Cat.”

I blink up at him. I know how the kiss made me feel, and he’s right, it was everything, but there’s no way it affected him the same way. I don’t believe it. “I agree… it was good but...”

He practically spits the words out. “Good? Fuck, Cat. It was perfect. My heart is still beating so hard it’s about to come out of my chest. Feel.”

He puts my hand over his heart, and sure enough, I can feel the erratic beats under my palm. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this, but there’s too much at stake. “Holden…”

He knows that I’m about to tell him no, and he shakes his head. “Don’t answer me yet. Just think about it. Promise me that you’ll at least think about it.”

I nod and pull my hand from his. I stand up and put some distance between us because if I don’t, I’m not going to have the strength to keep resisting him. “I should go to bed.”

He nods. “Me too.”

I almost make it out of the room when he stops me. “Dream of me, sweet Cat.”

Looking at him across the room, I can still see the desire in his eyes, and I know I have the same look in mine. “Good night, Holden.”

And then I escape… before I do something foolish and ask him to take me to his bed.