CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

IWAKEANDBLINK. I'm in a room I don't recognise. Then memory bites.

I moved my backpack to the pool house last night. I don't know if or when Dain came home. I barely slept but heard nothing. I was too busy replaying that horrific conversation. I told him I love him. He tore me to shreds.

It hurts. I wipe the tears from my eyes but they keep spilling. Endless silent tears. It's very early but I need to see Lukas. I look an embarrassing mess, but the nanny won't say anything. She's the latest of Dain's utterly discreet employees—contracted and paid a fortune to keep silent on his personal business because he doesn't trust anyone.

I warily walk through the house. It's quiet and feels ominously empty and my heart skips—what if he's taken him? Surely he wouldn't. He loves Lukas. He wants what's best for him and he knows that means both of us in our son's life. I pass my bedroom door. It's open and it's obvious I didn't sleep in there last night. The staff probably assume I was in Dain's room anyway.

But Lukas's room is empty too and I reach for the wall for support.

‘The nanny's taken him for a walk,' Dain says from behind me. ‘He's already had breakfast.'

I jump and turn. My pulse spikes at the sight of him. He's in jeans and a tee. Not crumpled. Effortlessly elegant as always. The only hint of any strain is the stubble on his jaw and the shadow beneath his beautiful eyes. ‘Oh. Then I'll go back...'

I can't finish my sentence. I can't keep looking at him. I drop my gaze to the floor and walk, talking myself through one step at a time. I just need to get away and I'll be okay. Eventually.

‘Stop.' His voice is thready. ‘Stay. Please.'

And now I can't move. I'm stuck in the corridor of his gorgeous home and I can't get past him. Literally.

He exhales heavily. ‘You come into my life and give me a glimpse of everything I could ever want and the next minute you're gone. You leave me. I can't stand it.'

My anger lifts. ‘Last night you told me to go.'

‘Last night I didn't know what I was doing.'

I shoot him a startled look.

‘I wasn't thinking.' He steps towards me carefully. ‘I was upset.'

I swallow. ‘I'm sorry I said that to Chloe—'

‘I don't give a damn about what she or anyone else thinks,' he interrupts me roughly.

‘But I'm sorry I said...'

His facade cracks. ‘Sorry you told me you love me?'

I'm hurt. Really hurt by his bluntness. And I want to escape—to evaporate. Anything to get away because I can't cope with the look in his eyes. I can't believe what I think I see.

He holds his hand out to me. ‘Talia.'

Pressing my lips together, I shake my head and fist my hands at my sides.

‘Please. This is a life-threatening situation of another sort,' he whispers. ‘My world is empty as hell without you already, Talia. Take my hand and let's do this together.'

‘This?'

‘Do the rest of our lives.' He steps forward and wraps his hands round my cold fists.

I don't pull away. I can't. He walks backwards, his gaze not leaving mine, taking me with him. Unerringly leading me to his bedroom. I can't resist him. Tears fall from my eyes and I can't wipe them away because he still has hold of me and I need him to let me go.

He twists a little just as we enter his room and kicks the door shut. ‘Talia—'

I avert my gaze from the bed. ‘You don't have to say anything. It's fine. I'm fine.'

‘Well, I'm not,' he says gruffly. ‘And you're lying.'

‘Dain—'

‘I didn't listen to you last night because I couldn't face it,' he interrupts me. ‘I couldn't admit—' He breaks off recalibrating himself. ‘I didn't answer honestly because I was shocked and I was scared.'

‘Of me?'

‘Yeah. And of my feelings for you.'

I stare at him, my heart pounding. ‘And what are those?'

He cocks his head as he did that night in the gondola. The smallest smile curves his mouth but there's regret in his beautiful eyes. ‘You infuriate me. You're annoyingly independent and ferociously capable. Sometimes I just want you to let me help you because I enjoy helping you, but you don't want to rely on anyone because you were hurt and that saddens me, but I get it because I was too.'

But his smile widens as his words come stronger and faster. ‘You're loyal to a fault and you'll do anything for people you love, even if it isn't in your own best interests, and that generosity melts me. Your wit makes me laugh and keeps me on my toes because you don't put up with my arrogance and entitlement. You liberated the playfulness I'd forgotten I had, and I rediscovered the joy of spontaneity and silliness. And the sex I've had with you is the best of my life. I'll never sleep with anyone else. You bring all the feelings out in me, Talia. I can't stop any of them, but especially not the biggest and deepest. You hold my whole heart in your beautiful, clever hands.'

He breathes more heavily and lifts our hands between us. ‘You could crush it. You could end me. But...' he clears his throat ‘...I know you won't because you're a kind, loving person. And amazingly you love me.' His grip tightens on me. ‘But you need to know I love you too, Talia,' he confesses. ‘How can I not love you?'

I can't move again. It's awful to be so paralysed, so afraid, but I am. I want to believe him but it's taking its time to sink in because it's just unbelievable... I can't believe him.

‘I'm not like any of those people at your party,' I whisper, unable to stop my insecurities escaping. ‘They're all cultured and elegant and well educated. I don't even have formal barista qualifications, let alone a degree—'

‘Neither do I.' He shrugs and then chuckles. ‘My grandfather died and I skipped study and went straight to work and learned everything by experience. Same as you. We both work hard. We're both curious. We both want the best for everyone around us...'

That's true.

‘I never wanted any of those people. I never wanted anyone the way I want you. And it's only you I'll ever want. The night we met, you pushed a universal override on every defence I thought I had. And you were never blinded by the superficial things that surround me in a way that's sometimes suffocating.'

‘Your poor-little-rich-boy trappings?'

‘Trappings is right. I was a fool. I thought my value depended on the success I made of my family company.' His smile is rueful.

‘It was the one stable thing you could control.'

‘Right,' he mutters. ‘But the night we met you saw something else in me.'

‘I thought you were a stripper,' I mumble.

His smile explodes. ‘And for you I can be,' he purrs. ‘Any time you want. But only ever for you.'

Warmth spreads inside and what little grip I have left on my emotion slips. ‘You were gorgeous. And funny.'

‘Because you bring out my playful side. Only with you can I relax. I can let go. Because I trust you.'

Those words break me.

‘You're beautiful and funny and I want you to stay with me. Always. I was too afraid to admit it,' he whispers. ‘But I love you, Talia. I love you totally. I don't ever want to hurt you and I know you never want to hurt me either. But we hurt each other a bit last night.'

My lungs have shrunk. I can't get enough oxygen to my brain. ‘I was trying to control the ending. I thought you didn't...' I start to sob but still try to speak ‘...wouldn't ever...want me always. Let alone...'

‘Love you,' he finishes for me, and repeats what I still can't believe. ‘I love you.' He lets go of my hands at last and cups my face. ‘And I can't go through another night like last night.'

I blink but the tears still fall.

‘Neither of us do well with uncertainty,' he says. ‘So know this. I love you and I will never leave you. We're always going to be together.'

I finally smile even though I'm crying more than before and he pulls me into a hug and it's everything I need. I feel the emotion overwhelming him too—his breathing shudders and his body quakes with the intensity of relief. I clutch him and bury my face in his chest.

‘I just want us to be together,' he mutters. ‘Our little family. And it can be what we make it, right?'

I nod eagerly.

‘I think we were doing pretty well with it, actually,' he says almost shyly. ‘Not like my parents. Not like yours either. We're different people. I know I need to open up more.'

‘It's hard to open up,' I mumble.

‘It is. But it's also not. I like talking to you, Talia. I like trusting you. And I'm so grateful for Lukas. He's our miracle and I give thanks for him every day, especially now. He's helped speed everything up.'

I can't help my smile. ‘You want to speed up now?'

‘No.' He smiles back. ‘I want to go very, very slow.'

Slow is torture. Slow is bliss. Slow is absolutely everything I need.

He kisses me with such reverence that I start to shake. ‘Dain...'

‘Shh. Let me love you. I want to love you.'

I understand. As impossible as it ought to be, this is even more melting than the indulgence he's given me before because this time the underpinning emotion is given full and free expression. His hands sweep over me and I feel him tremble with restraint.

‘I love you, Talia.'

He's opened up and it's heaven. My bruised heart bursts open too and then it just grows like an unstoppable wave made of wonder and warmth and joy. I hold him—half crying, half laughing—admitting all my deep-held, deep-hidden truths too—all the things I adore about him. All the ways he pleases me. I hold nothing back. We're aligned in absolute honesty. It's always been fun, always joyous between us. But there's an essential facet that's been revealed—a foundation firmly cemented between us, within us. I believe in him and he believes in me. And it is awesome. I'm shaking and breathless and when he finally, fully claims his place inside me we both moan. It's exquisite and it's everything. We're together, as close as any two people can be.

‘There's a lot to be said for slow.' I sigh as the gorgeous sensations stream through me.

He looks at me with nothing but love in his eyes. ‘There's even more to be said for always.'