CHAPTER FIFTEEN

‘ITWASN'TYOURS to take.' Anger surges into me. ‘What did you do with it?'

He's frozen. ‘Talia—'

‘You got rid of it? Threw it out?' I gape at him in horror. ‘Because it was ragged?'

He walks out of the room and I'm so furious I follow him, not stopping to see where he's going, not stopping my tirade. He doesn't want to deal with my emotion? Too bad. ‘Wasn't it good enough for your standards? Didn't it fit into this perfect nursery you've put together like magic?'

It was broken and it wasn't perfect but it was loved. But it wasn't good enough to stay here. I'm so hurt. This place is so perfect and I most definitely do not fit in. Because I'm like that toy too—worn out and worthless to a guy like him.

‘Talia—'

‘It mightn't have met your standards but it was given with love and—'

He bends down to the bag at his feet and turns back to face me, his hand outstretched.

I'm instantly silenced. I stare at his hand and slowly take the rabbit from him. His ear and head have been stitched back on properly.

‘I wouldn't have thrown out a clearly much-loved toy, Talia.' His breathing is jumpy. ‘I assumed it was one of your childhood toys. I didn't realise it had come from Romy. And I'm sorry if repairing it was the wrong thing to do.'

For a moment I struggle for air. Tears spring to my eyes as I study the soft little animal. I'm relieved. I'm touched. And I'm utterly embarrassed.

Swallowing hard, I run my finger over the neat stitching. ‘You did this?'

‘Yeah.'

‘When?' I finally glance up at him.

He looks a little embarrassed. ‘Before we drove to Dunedin.'

‘You said you had work to do.' I try to smile but it doesn't really work. ‘Did you lie to me?'

‘This was work.' His shoulders lift. ‘Of the unpaid parental kind.'

My heart absolutely melts.

‘I didn't know toy surgery was on your CV.' But then he has a bunch of skills and talents.

‘I'm sorry if I overstepped,' he says quietly.

‘You didn't. You were really thoughtful.' Guilt washes over me. ‘I just haven't had the time...'

‘Because you've been doing those important things like keeping him alive.'

I shake my head as a tear runs down my cheek even though everything's okay now. Better than okay, in fact. ‘I'm hormonal,' I mutter by way of an excuse as I brush it away.

He regards me with a smile that's both sweet and sceptical. ‘I don't think it's hormones. I think you're tired and upset. Which isn't surprising, given how much you've had to process recently.'

But it's more than that. I've just blown up at him and he deserves to know why. Yet again he's shown me he can be trusted so he deserves to know that it isn't him.

‘I don't have any toys from my childhood.' I rub the toy to soothe myself as I speak. ‘I don't have anything at all, actually. So I want Lukas to have the toys he's been given.'

He cocks his head ever so slightly and it's just enough to tempt me to keep talking.

‘You already know we moved a lot,' I mutter. ‘I've lived in every city, most small towns in the country. Mum would pick us up from school and we'd just leave. She'd have broken up with the latest, or been abused by the guy's wife.' I wince, remembering how the daughter of one guy once shredded me at school. ‘Mum would've packed a few clothes for us but never anything else—never any toys or anything. None of those little silly things I collected as a child. Things that shouldn't matter.'

‘But do.'

I nod. ‘So then you just accept it. That you're not going to keep them. So I stopped collecting.'

He's still as he listens.

‘What little I have now I've got for myself, and even now I tend not to hold onto them any more. If you have less, then you don't feel a loss.' I shrug. ‘Because if you haven't had something to begin with you can't really miss it...' I have no idea if I'm making sense to him but it's easier for me this way. It's emotional safety. ‘Things don't last anyway, you know? Nothing is for ever.' But I run my fingers over the toy he's restored. He's fixed it so it can last longer.

‘Right.' He slowly nods. ‘But you want different for Lukas.'

I stare hard at the rabbit. ‘Yep.'

‘I get it.' He takes a step towards me. ‘Both of us have parents who disappointed us.' He sighs and his smile is a little twisted. ‘I had so many toys. Didn't love any of them.' He shoots me a rueful look. ‘Poor little rich boy, right?' He bows his head. ‘My parents behaved badly—either spoiling me or neglecting me, purely to antagonise each other. So I'm not unscathed. I have scars and triggers. Like I react badly when I think someone thinks the worst of my intentions. I still feel the shame and humiliation of having any private business aired. Their infidelities were exposed and picked over by everyone—gossiped about. They used me—taking me from school to go to a sports game but tipping off the press, one upping the other in spoiling me. But only in public—it was evidence-gathering for the lawyers and if there were no points to be gained the outing was abandoned.'

That he tells me this steals my breath. ‘I'm sorry, Dain.'

He glances away, breaking that searing contact. I glance around too and it finally dawns on me that we're in his bedroom.

It's every bit as beautiful as the rest of the house—everything is gorgeous, it's jaw-dropping quiet luxury. But he's so used to it he doesn't seem to have any idea of how sumptuous everything in his life is. And I mean everything—from the private jet and gleaming cars to the discreet staff who appear and do things without him needing to direct them at all before melting into the shadows, to this palatial, magnificent home with every last detail and smallest fixture the absolute finest. Maybe his apparent unawareness is what happens when you're born into a family that's been wealthy for generations.

He could've gone out and bought a million new soft toys for Lukas. But he didn't—despite being surrounded by all this perfection. Because for all that wealth he was poor in other ways. He fixed up this old rabbit because he sensed its sentimental value.

‘I'm still not sure he really fits in here even with the repair,' I mutter.

That Dain even knows how to stitch it stuns me. Surely he never had to darn his holey socks or anything. He'd have been handed new ones.

‘He belongs with Lukas,' Dain says gruffly.

I glance back up at him only to see he's watching me and his expression isn't masked. I see his hunger. I see it and feel it and match it. I move closer.

He swallows but doesn't step back. He's watching me the way a predator watches the thing it wants. Warily, quietly, intensely—waiting for it to wander within reach.

I get that he doesn't trust people because they always have an ulterior motive. People want things—generally money—from him all the time. I don't want any of these things from him. At all. What I want is far more basic than that. Far more reckless. And it is so impossible to resist. But I should. For Lukas I should. For myself.

But the blue of Dain's eyes vanishes in the black heat of his pupils and the yearning I see echoes my own.

‘Talia...'

I don't want him to think I want him because he's been nice—because he's helped me in so many ways already. It's frustrating and somehow I need to make that clear to him. ‘I understand why you're not interested in marriage,' I say.

He stiffens. ‘I've never wanted any kind of wife, trophy or otherwise. I can't commit to something I can't believe in.'

‘Good.' I step towards him. ‘Because we're definitely not getting married.'

He seems to stop breathing.

‘Never, okay?' I whisper.

He tenses even more. I know he's reserved but he's very clear about what he doesn't want. I wouldn't consider this if I thought he had other intentions but there's honesty between us now. There's also this chemistry—it burns ever more intensely, ever more out of my control. I ache for touch. I stroke the toy I'm still holding instead. The toy he's fixed. Another wave of emotion engulfs me. I've misjudged him. Again.

‘Never,' he finally agrees huskily. ‘There's no reason for us to do something we know would be damaging to Lukas and to ourselves. We just...co-parent. Quietly and easily.' He stands very still. ‘Lukas needs you. And you need...less stress.'

‘I thought you said I needed to be indulged,' I say softly.

The words escape before my brain catches up—control slipping free of my hold, like water sinking through sand. But it's not a trickle, it's an unstoppable tsunami. I freeze but at the same time I really don't. I sway ever so slightly towards him. My body doesn't give a damn about the future. It's only interested in now.

‘Talia...' he mutters a whispered warning.

I'm too far gone to pay heed. This passion between us is temporary. Such things are always temporary, right? This I know. All those men in my mother's life...

But I also know that Dain is not a cheater—I was wrong about that. He's reserved and private and wants to do his best for Lukas. He's gorgeous. And I can't resist this need any more. Because Dain will always do his best for Lukas—as will I. So I know he'll still work with me as best he can even after this chemistry fades. Neither of us wants Lukas to be caught up in arguing parents.

‘So you want me to indulge you?' he says.

I lightly toss the toy to a side table so my hands are free. ‘You wanted honesty, right?' I swallow. ‘I still want you.' I touch his chest. ‘I can't seem to stop wanting you.'

His hands span my waist and now I couldn't step back even if I wanted to.

I really don't want to. ‘I don't want to complicate things but—'

‘You can't get past it?' he interrupts with a growl.

‘Right.' I nod. I can't think.

‘Funny thing, nor can I.'

I'm so relieved my knees almost sag. ‘We let it run...' I eventually say. ‘Let it end.'

‘And then move forward?' He's still but his hold on me tightens. ‘For Lukas.'

‘Yes.' I nod. ‘We'll work it out for him. He'll always come first.'

‘Right.' He leans towards me.

I truly do freeze now as his mouth drops towards mine. I shiver as he kisses me. And then I combust.

Throwing my arms around his neck, I kiss him back. He growls and moves swiftly, picking me up in his strong arms, dropping me onto his bed and tumbling on top. I moan in sheer relief. We're finally back on that page—the one we belong on together.

His hands sweep over me, swiftly stripping me. But suddenly he stops, a sharp drawn breath whistles between his teeth. I freeze and suddenly realise he's seen the red scar slicing across my lower abdomen. In the heat I've forgotten that I haven't told him.

‘I had a C-section,' I whisper in hurried explanation. ‘He was round the wrong way.'

My attempt to minimise it doesn't work. He rises above me to look me in the eyes and the expression in his eyes makes me squirm with guilt.

‘Were you scared?' He stares right through my defences.

‘The doctors were great,' I mutter.

‘Were you scared?' He tightens his grip on my wrists and leans closer over me. ‘You didn't have a friend with you. No family.'

‘I was okay,' I say. ‘Most importantly Lukas was okay.'

I see the anger in his eyes. The hurt. I know he wants to rail at me. I see the ripple of emotion run through his body and his muscles bunch. I'm totally at his mercy and I deserve his wrath. But after the growl of annoyance from the back of his throat I feel an intimate caress so tender I quake. That's when I realise the punishment he intends for me to take is that of unbearable pleasure.

His exploration is slow and torturous. He kisses my scar reverently and then continues his exploration south, worshipping my body.

‘I hate that you were alone,' he says huskily. ‘All this time.'

I don't want him to be this gentle. This tender. I feel as if I don't deserve it. I shiver and try to pull back. But he grabs my hips and holds me still.

‘I'm indulging you, Talia,' he whispers fiercely. ‘You definitely should be indulged.'

‘Even though I didn't tell you everything?'

‘I've forgiven you.' He sighs roughly. ‘Maybe it's time you forgive yourself on that.' He sits up and takes off his tee shirt in a wide, whipping movement.

I stare at him—made emotional by his words and overwhelmed by the sight of his body. Yep, I slither deeper into lust with him. That should be impossible. It should. I never realised I could want him more. But I do.

Neither of us were completely naked in the gondola. I've never actually been naked in front of a man before. But I'm not shy—he's always made this easy for me. And he's stunning. His lips curve as he sees me staring.

‘I forgot,' he mutters. ‘You like to look. You didn't really get the chance last time.'

He slowly strips the rest of his clothes for me. I'm so blown away by him all I can do is lie on his bed and stare.

He comes back to lean over me. ‘You know you can touch if you want.'

I lift my hands and run them over his body but that's all I can do because he's back between my legs—teasing me so I'm only able to arch my hips closer and it's so erotic and so intimate I gasp.

‘Let me indulge you,' he murmurs. ‘Surrender to me, Talia.'

The sensations are so intense. I moan. Loudly.

He suddenly lifts away, rising up to kiss my mouth. Thoroughly. I stare at him questioningly when he lifts away to look into my eyes.

‘Can't wake Lukas,' he murmurs in explanation. ‘Don't want this interrupted before we've hardly begun.'

I've forgotten our son is sleeping in the room just down the hall—how terrible of me. He reads my mind and laughs again.

‘You're allowed a little time for yourself,' he says. ‘And you're definitely allowed a lot of time for me.'

That mix of arrogance and confident sensuality melts me. He moves back down my body and laughs again when he tastes for himself the effect his words have had on me.

‘You're so deliciously responsive, Talia.'

That just makes me respond even more. I melt with his approval. And he works more than his tongue. He lets his fingers talk too. I gasp and bite down into the soft pillow to muffle my sighs and it's seconds, mere seconds, before I come hard.

I'm breathless but I know what I want—what I need—now. ‘Dain.'

He glances up at me, a picture of hedonism sprawled between my legs. But as he sees my expression he frowns. ‘Are you sure you're ready? It's not too soon?'

‘It's not soon enough,' I mutter desperately. ‘Please.'

He flashes a tense smile at me. ‘Okay.'

He leaves me for a moment and shoots me a rueful glance as he gets protection but, honestly, I'm too busy enjoying watching him get ready for me.

‘I've also got protection of my own now,' I whisper, not wanting to hold anything back from him now. ‘I talked it over with my doctors after Lukas's birth and they thought it might help regulate my cycle.' Which would make managing one thing a little easier.

‘Two forms of protection is good,' he says gruffly.

‘I think so too.' I smile at him.

He returns to the bed. I bite my lip—excited and a little apprehensive. He's big and strong and I'm neither. But he pulls me into his arms, sweeping a hand down my back, moulding me into his hard heat. I moan. He rolls, pinning me beneath him, and coaxes my legs further apart.

‘You want me?'

There's a rawness to his question that pulls an equally harsh, honest response from me.

‘Yes!'

He thrusts. Hard. He's inside me again and I'm a rippling, shivering, incoherent mess. Because it's good. He's good. He's in me, with me, and we're both so stunned it's a second before either of us can exhale.

‘It's been so long,' he groans.

And then he moves. All I can do is wrap my arms around him because all I want is to keep him right here with me. I'm so close to him and I love it. This.

‘You're as hot as you were that night.' His expression wild as he rears up and presses harder into me. ‘So hot.'

He thrusts into me again and again and it's exquisite. I arch and cling, pushing to meet him with every wild movement. It's the best thing ever and once again it's shockingly quick. I go as tense as a wire. Next second my body is so crunched in ecstasy that my soul-piercing scream is silent.

I keep my eyes closed, because as I struggle to catch my breath I realise an alarming truth.

I'm never going to get enough of this.

I'm never going to get enough of him.