Chapter Two

Talon

Talking to Silvia has left my thoughts scattered. I'm more confused than ever. She knew Sandra was cheating on me the whole fucking time and didn't say a damn word. Now, that it's abundantly clear that our marriage is going to end in a divorce, she wants to get with me. That fucking blows my mind for several reasons. First of all, she's my wife's fucking sister. But more importantly she lied to me outright to cover for Sandra or at the very least committed lies of omission by not telling me. I had a right to know and she said nothing. What about that makes her think I would ever trust her with my heart or my cock?

I jump on my motorcycle as my annoyance grows and head for the clubhouse. I need somebody to talk to who can give me reliable feedback. For most every brother in our club that one reliable person is Rigs. He's a former Marine chaplain and the person we all go to when we're overwhelmed with life's problems. The man might not be your typical preacher, but when it comes to no nonsense common sense, he's the best of the best.

When I walk into the clubhouse, the place is heaving with brothers and club vixens, all having the freaking time of their life. They're all feeling worlds better than me. I'm glad for them but upset for me, cos I've got a cheating wife on my hands.

I find Rigs teaching his son, Evan, how to shoot pool. He and his old lady, Mattie adopted him after he'd been through some unthinkable shit. The kid's currently a prospect and he's gonna make one hell of a brother one of these days. Siege, our club president, and Tank, our VP, are standing by watching, each with a beer in their hand. I don't really want to interrupt their game, but my anxiety is getting the better of me. Without meaning to, I start pacing back and forth in the doorway between the bar and the games room. Truth be told, I'm going back and forth in my mind about whether or not it would be polite to ask Rigs to talk with me for a few minutes.

Luckily, I don't have to angst about it too long because he comes to me.

"Good afternoon, Talon. Is everything okay? You look a little out of sorts today."

I stop pacing and take a step closer to him. "You're right. I'm not doing very well. I just got thrown a curveball and I'm not sure how to handle it."

"You know you can come to me anytime you need to talk. That's what I'm here for."

I gesture to his son, Evan. "Things are different now. You have a family. It's not right that we interrupt your family time."

Rigs, steps closer and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Evan's a good kid. He understands that my job is to give the brothers support when stressful situations come up in their life."

"Are you sure?" I ask, wary of coming between him and his son.

"Absolutely." He turns and calls out to Evan, "Are you going to be okay until your mom gets here?"

Evan smooths one hand down his prospect's cut. "You know that I will, Dad. Go talk to Talon. I'm just gonna practice some pool shots."

Rigs smiles at him. "It's all in the angles."

"I've doubled down on my geometry. It's gonna pay off. Just wait and see."

Siege walks by and slaps him on the back. "I know that it will. You've got a good eye, Evan. You're going to make an outstanding brother one day."

Siege and Tank walk into Rigs' office as well. I don't mind because three brains are better than one.

We settle down at the conference table running down the middle of the room. Rigs asks, "Want to tell us what's going on?"

I shove my fingers through my hair, loathe to admit to my brothers that my wife is fucking around on me.

Siege makes a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat. "Whatever it is, it can't be all that bad."

"My wife's cheating on me."

"Fuck," Tank shoots a look to Siege, but then says. "Are you sure about that?"

I nod and rake my hands through my hair. "Yeah, I'm sure. She forgot to close down her social media and I saw pictures of her with different guys and chats where she told them how amazing they were in bed."

Rigs leans forward, "You mean there was more than one?"

"Yes. I saw at least three that she'd slept with in addition to the one she made arrangements to spend the night with tonight. She was also talking trash about me."

Siege rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Cleo is on her friends list. She hasn't mentioned seeing anything out of the ordinary."

"Sandra has another account with a cute screenname, but it was her. She had lots of pictures of herself, mostly sexy ones where she wasn't wearing a lot."

"Fuck," Siege says. "I always thought she acted sketchy around our club brothers, but I hoped I was mistaken."

"I've had problems with her flirting with men when she was drunk right in front of me. She would also say disrespectful shit to me all the time, but I never held a grudge over that because I knew she had a hard childhood. I just can't help but think this is my fault. Maybe if I hadn't been working such long hours, or if I hadn't insisted she get a job to fill her free time. Something I did pushed her away."

"How long has this been going on, brother?"

"Since we got married at least. To be honest, it feels like she never stopped dating."

Siege grinds out roughly, "Fuck that shit. You need to put her out brother."

Tank points at me, "You pack her shit and put it on the front porch. Don't give her any more of your time, attention, or mental energy."

I feel so many conflicting emotions, including anger, guilt, embarrassment, humiliation, and hopelessness that anything will ever change with Sandra. "Her sister said she's always been like this."

Rigs looks me in the eye and tells it like it is. "Your wife didn't cheat on you because of anything you did or didn't do. She cheated because she's a cheater, you said it yourself. It started even before you tied the knot. In order for things to get better between the two of you, you would each need to start with individual therapy so she can sort out her shit."

"What about couples therapy? Wouldn't that cut right to the chase?"

Rigs shakes his head. "No, and I'll tell you why. Couple's therapy with a cheater is like putting a band-aid on a sucking chest wound. It won't come anywhere near solving your problems."

I frown at him. "I don't understand. When people have marital problems, everyone always says, get counseling."

Rigs tells me, "Pay close attention to this part because it's important. Like I said, your wife didn't cheat on you because of anything you said or did. She cheated because something inside of her is broken. There is something wrong with her psychological make-up."

He leans closer and continues, "Normally, when a person experiences marital problems and they want to fix it, they'll talk it over with their partner, work to make more time for togetherness, maybe see about counseling, whatever. What they don't do is betray their marital vows by having sex with multiple other people. If that's someone's first response, then they don't want to be in the marriage."

"I don't understand why I wasn't enough for her, why she couldn't love me the way a wife should love her husband, the way I loved her in the beginning."

"It wasn't about that. She cheated because deep down inside she doesn't think she's obligated to keep their promises to the man she chose to spend the rest of their life with. People like that cheat because they can. Maybe she likes the illicit thrill of sex outside marriage or feels like she can do whatever the fuck she likes with whoever the fuck she wants."

"That's fucked up," I respond, shocked at what he's telling me, but thankful that he's not sugar coating anything. Like I said, if you want straight up common-sense advice, then Rigs is your man.

Rigs continues driving his point home. "Cheaters think the rules everyone else lives their lives by don't apply to them for some reason. They're too smart, crafty, or intelligent to play by the same rules as everyone else. They're special, you see."

"I thought she was more special when she wasn't cheating on me. Now what do I do? Should I forgive her?"

"Has she asked for forgiveness?" Rigs asks pointedly.

Pressing my lips into a firm line, I shake my head.

"Do you want to forgive her?"

I give a shrug.

"Usually when cheaters get caught, they start out by denying it. If you throw proof in their face, they'll try to say it was only one time. If that's proven false, then it wasn't their fault because the other person seduced them. Eventually when they run out of excuses, they'll try to blame you for not paying enough attention to them or any number of other creative reasons."

"I gotta admit that I can see Sandra saying things like that. She already blames me for all her problems, it wouldn't be a stretch for her to add a few more to the list."

"In order to move forward, she would have to admit to what she did and take responsibility for her own actions. Then she would need to agree to work on why she thought cheating on you was an option in individual therapy. After weeks or months of individual therapy the two of you would need to go to couples therapy for God only knows how long. That's if she truly wanted to change and make a go of things. Are you up to all that?"

"I don't know. We took a vow, and I don't take that lightly but I gotta say that discovering that she was cheating on me the entire time we've been married is pissing me off. I didn't sign that marriage license to end up with a lifetime of cheating, lies, gaslighting, and a bunch of mental abuse."

"Well, I can't imagine too many men would put up with that kind of behavior from their wife."

"Plus, I didn't get the feeling from looking at all the men she was fucking and the half dozen more she was flirting with that she was very interested in monogamy. If I busted her out on the cheating and insisted that she get counseling, I don't think she'd make much of an effort to work though her issues."

Rigs sighs. "To be honest, people who cheat at this level and end up in counseling usually just manipulate their therapist and don't end up making much progress."

"This is just blowing my mind. I knew our marriage had problems. I never suspected she was fucking other men behind my back and lying to all of us."

"It's hard to realize your wife isn't the person you thought she was. Just remember that once a person cheats, they're likely to cheat again."

"I don't think she would ever admit to it, even if I showed her all the evidence. If I pulled up her social media account, she'd probably try to say it was someone impersonating her. She likes to say everything is identity theft."

"You only got a peek into her cheating with that one account. Cheaters never admit to anything you don't catch them in. They just deny, lie, and minimize. It's all part of their flawed thinking. They're sorry only as long as it takes you to get over it."

Upon realizing she cheated, my first instinct was to ask for a divorce, but now I'm second guessing that initial response. "I honestly don't think I can do this with her anymore," I admit reluctantly. "Do you think that makes me a bad person?"

Siege speaks up, "Hell the fuck no, that does not make you a bad person. It makes you a smart person."

I rub my temple, trying to ease the migraine building there. "It's just that we were high school sweethearts. She's all I've ever known."

Rigs responds gently, "Maybe that's why you didn't see how toxic the whole situation was."

"Don't I owe it to her to try to get her into therapy?"

"Hell no," Siege spits out. "Sandra's a grown ass adult. She can take herself to therapy."

A short silence spins out between the four of us as we consider Siege's words.

Finally, I ask, "What about these fuckers she was cheating on me with?"

"What about them?" Rigs asks.

"They had to know she was a married woman. She complained about me being the world's worst husband. They knew and still slept with her."

"If all they're after is sex then they're hardly likely to care about something like that. The bottom line is she's the one who owes you loyalty. She's the one who broke her vow to you. The men don't even know you."

I take a deep breath and let that sink in.

Tank kicks in his two cents' worth. "I think it would be different if there was only one other man and they were the one seducing or luring her away. I'd definitely give a fucker a beat down if I thought he was pressuring my wife to do sexual shit with him. You wanna ask Zen to do some snooping on those fuckers?"

"Yes. No. I don't know," I say, part of me wants to go after those bastards. But the other part just wants to be done with it all."

"Your call, brother," Tank says.

I let out a sigh, "From the sound of her chats, she was having the time of her life, it doesn't sound like she was being pressured or blackmailed. I think she only ever wanted me for an ATM. I make good money and she spends it almost as fast as I make it."

Rigs asks the most important question of all, "Do you still love her?"

Words flew out of my mouth before I took a minute to think. "Love her? I don't even think I like her. This has been a hard marriage and no matter what I did to try and get along with her, she pretty much just threw it back in my face. The pleasant moments have been so few and so far apart that my cup is always bone dry."

Rigs states calmly, "Maybe it's time to throw in the towel and save yourself. You undoubtedly don't want this to be the rest of your life. You're young and might very well find someone who is compatible with you and adds value to your life."

"Yeah, I'm thinking you might be onto something there, brother."

"Can I give you one more piece of advice?"

"Sure. I'd appreciate anything you could say that might help me navigate this fucked up situation."

"Give yourself a cooling off period before returning home. Once you start this conversation, she's going to push all your buttons. You need to be calm and have your thoughts together before talking to her about this."

I lean back in my chair with my hands on the edge of the table and think for just a minute.

Siege offers, "You can stay here, we've got extra rooms upstairs, or go out to that fancy cabin of yours."

That was my plan originally, but I've got five prospects living there. Going there to get some peace and quiet is a no go, it's probably gonna be party central. Same with the clubhouse. Pitching a tent by the river pops into my mind. I love fishing and a nice trout cooked over an open fire, sounds like about all I can handle right now. "I think I need some peace and quiet to get my head together. I left my truck in the parking lot last night, it has my camping gear inside. I might go down to the river and set up a tent. Get in some fishing and watch the water drift by."

Rigs responds, "That sounds like a smart move. If you need to talk about this some more, just pop into my office anytime."

Siege adds, "There ain't no decision a man can make that will impact the quality of his life more than settling down with the right woman. Trust me on that, Talon."

Tank speaks up, "I can vouch for that. The right woman can light up your life as much as the wrong one can drag you down in the mud."

"Ain't that the damn truth, brother," I say as we get up to leave. I didn't bother bringing up Silvia coming onto me because it was just too much to deal with in one sitting.