Chapter 13

CHAPTER13

“She doesn’t seem like herself,” Beauty muttered as they wandered through the muck behind Lore. “I remember her being much more...”

“Bright?” he asked with a snort. “Positive? Having an inner light that made everyone else feel rather sunny around her?”

Beauty gave him a look that said she was unimpressed. “Oh hush. She’s never been a person with a sunny disposition, I know that. But she’s different now, isn’t she? I can’t be the only one who sees it.”

Of course Lore was different. Abraxas didn’t know how to explain that without explaining the entire story, though, and he didn’t know if it was his to share.

And yet... He looked up ahead of them, where Lore had stayed within eyesight just as she’d promised him, and how angrily she stomped away from them, as though she was having an argument with herself. And he wondered if it really wasn’t his story to tell after all. He’d been part of it. He’d been there through all the ups and the downs and the oddities of their story together.

They had more than enough time to tell the story in its entirety. He could see from the set of Lore’s shoulders she wasn’t going to settle, and that meant they needed to figure things out without her.

Shaking his head, he let the words pour out of him.

“I made it back home with the dragonlings, and that’s when I met Tanis.” All of the story purged out of him, every single second of it.

How he’d wanted to give up, and how he had known that Beauty was right. He had to keep fighting for his family and his friends, who he’d left behind. How he’d stayed alive, even when he didn’t want to.

That evening in the storm. The leviathan that had almost overtaken their ship and how he’d seen a burst of starlight through the water and he’d been certain it was nothing more than the reflection of a falling star.

Beauty’s eyes turned glassy when he told her of their reunion, and she laughed at the story of the sailors terrified of their grown children. Together, they relived the moments as though she had been there. As though Zephyr had walked with them as well, because she mentioned how he would have reacted to much of it throughout the entire story.

And when he was finished, he nudged her with his shoulder. “There you have it. That’s why Lore is different, why I might seem a little different as well. We’ve all gone through more than we ever should in a lifetime.”

“I should say.”

“And you?” He waited for her gaze to find him and then lifted a brow. “What happened while we were gone? I thought you and Zephyr would stick together through all of it. I really thought we’d find the two of you here, together.”

He saw her wilt before his eyes. The mere thought of Zephyr made her question everything, and his heart broke at the sight of that. She deserved nothing but the best, and all he’d given her was a nightmare of a memory.

“Sorry,” he muttered, holding out his hand for her to take. She needed his help to get around a rather large fallen tree, and he marveled at how quickly she took his hand. Not an ounce of fear in her. “I didn’t think when I asked the question.”

“No, no really. It’s fine.” Beauty sighed and shook her head. “It’s just that we all thought so highly of Margaret. She promised so much and we were all so certain that we’d be moving toward something better, you know? Zephyr most of all. He’d have followed that woman into battle a hundred times over after what we did.”

Abraxas had forgotten the last time they’d all had been together was during that battle, and in the aftermath. He couldn’t imagine what Lore had felt waking up six months later, dragging herself out of the dirt only to find that everyone had moved on without her.

Shaking his head to clear his mind of that thought, he heaved in a great breath and let Beauty’s hand drop as her boots hit the muck. “I had forgotten...”

“About the battle?” Her eyes went wide as she stared at him.

“No.” Abraxas almost laughed at the thought of forgetting that. “No, of course not. I had forgotten the last time we all saw each other was in that state. No wonder none of us made normal decisions.”

“Well, and Zephyr least of all.” She shook her head again with disappointment and then pointed at Lore. “He was looking for someone like her to follow. And Margaret is an elf, just like Lore. They are two sides of the same coin, he told me. We should listen to what Margaret has to say. She knows how to run a kingdom. He was so full of doubt.”

Of course the boy would be. Everyone had looked at him like he was his brother, and he wasn’t. Zander had been born and raised to grab a kingdom by the horns and know exactly what to do in every situation that might arise.

Zephyr had lived his life in a crypt while hiding from anyone who might see him. It was ridiculous to expect anything else from him.

Then the thought dawned on him and he snarled, “She used that to her advantage.”

“She absolutely did.” Beauty lifted a hand for a will-o’-the-wisp to land on, letting the little fairy creature dance in her palm for a few seconds. “Zephyr wanted someone to tell him what to do and how to be the man everyone expected. He didn’t want to listen to anyone but the elves, so certain that they would lead us into a new era with Lore gone. For a while, Margaret let him think she was helping him.

“I remember watching them in the corridors, unsure of what they were doing. Margaret would pull him into her office and she always had his ear. He started to twist into a different person. More fearful, always jumping at shadows and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help him, even though...” Beauty swallowed the words. “It doesn’t matter. I couldn’t stop him from listening to her and now look at where we are.”

He supposed that was one way to look at it. But there was another, softer way to view those memories. “You did whatever you could to help him, Beauty. But in times of hardship like that, he was taken advantage of. He’d never been in battle. Never lived in a castle or had people calling him Your Highness. Everything was new to him and she was the predator who took what he could offer and twisted him into something new and ugly.”

“She did.” Beauty’s voice lowered into almost a whisper. “She absolutely did.”

They walked on in companionable silence for a few moments, both of them lost in their thoughts. Abraxas couldn’t help but feel guilty for leaving them, even though he knew it was the only choice at the time. If he had known Lore would return, would he have left? Probably not. But then he never would have known there were more dragons out there. None of them would have found Tanis, and she wouldn’t have hatched more eggs.

No one knew the future, nor could they predict what would unfold. But he wouldn’t change how things had happened. Even if that meant his friends had to get hurt.

He glanced over his shoulder to see Beauty had paused for a moment. Her face tilted into the warm swamp breeze, her hair lank around her shoulders with grease and grime from their journey already. But her eyes were closed and her expression was serene.

This was a young woman who had come to terms with what had happened in her life. She was not afraid of the future or her past. She simply lived in the moment because that was where she was. He admired that about her.

“So the kingdom fell,” he prompted, one last question burning in his mind. “How did the two of you get separated?”

That serene expression disappeared instantly. “Margaret let us know what she was going to do with the humans. Her plan was, at first, to simply relocate them. She wanted them all out of the spaces where magical creatures lived, and Zephyr agreed to it. I could see that he didn’t want to. He just didn’t know how to tell her that he didn’t. And then... Well, then we started seeing the destruction first hand. I tried my best to get them to see reason, but Margaret wanted me out of the castle.”

“Of course she did,” he snarled. “You were the only person who could change Zephyr’s mind.”

“And I almost did.” The happiness in her voice and the pride made her shoulders straighten. “But I was too late. Right before they kicked me out of the castle, I saw they were already putting him in shackles.”

Then he ended up where Lore had seen him. Abraxas knew he could not bring that up right now.

Beauty didn’t need to know exactly what they’d done to him, at least not until after they’d saved him. He knew if Lore was in pain like that, or if he knew she was being tortured by Margaret’s people, he would do some very foolish things to save her.

But Abraxas was a dragon. He could afford to do foolish things because very little could hurt him. Beauty? Margaret would flay her alive right in front of Zephyr if she thought it would make him comply easier.

Shaking his head, he let his breath whistle out between his lips. “It’s a strange story and an odd life we lead. Don’t you think?”

Beauty shook her head as well, a wry grin on her face. “Such a story to tell our children someday when they live side by side with magical creatures, not understanding that there was ever a time when we hated each other.”

“It’s a future to fight for.”

“And one I have fought for my entire life.” She straightened and pointed up again. “It looks like she’s stopped.”

They both froze where they were, undecided if they wanted to join Lore or not. She had made it fairly clear that she needed time for herself, but Abraxas saw that she’d slipped into a cave and seemed to settle. Maybe that was a good sign?

Beauty glanced over at him, unsure herself. “Should I maybe go gather some wood?”

“Might be a good idea. Just let me talk to her for a bit.”

“If she’s not in a good mood...” Beauty lifted her hand and held up three fingers. “Give me a hand signal and I’ll find somewhere else to sleep for the night.”

“I’m sure everything is fine.”

“I don’t want to get in the middle of it.” Beauty mock shuddered, but the grin on her face made her seem anything but scared. “You two have a lot to talk about, and I don’t need to be a distraction. Like I said, she’s not the same person she once was. This version of Lore terrifies me.”

As she should. Beauty didn’t know that Lore could pop a man’s skull with her mind, or that she could slip through the very veil of life and death if she wanted. It was all rather strange to him, as well. Knowing that Lore was this powerful made him feel very weak, and he wasn’t so sure how to deal with that.

He’d learn, though. Because he had to.

Beauty wandered off, and he went to see what his mate was up to, and what kind of battle he needed to fight to get her back in the right state of mind.

He stepped into the cave and heaved a sigh of relief to see Lore sitting there, all curled up like she used to. She didn’t look all that upset anymore, and at least he wouldn’t be blasted back onto his ass again. That was enough reason to sigh in pleasure.

“Better?” he asked, leaning against the open mouth of the cave. “We were both worried about you for a while there.”

Lore didn’t look at him. Instead, she stared into the darkness surrounding him as though she saw more than just Abraxas’s figure. “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted.”

“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I know better than to let myself get angry because I’m overwhelmed. The thought that I took it out on you makes me sick. I could have hurt you, Abraxas. I could have really hurt you.”

“I know.” He shuffled his foot on the ground, still watching her. “And I forgive you.”

“I promise I won’t ever do that again. I’d rather cut off a finger every time I do it than see your face like that again. You should hate me, Abraxas, or at the very least, be angry with me. Shout! Yell! Tell me I was irresponsible! Say something other than what you’re saying right now.”

And she still wouldn’t look at him. So Abraxas stepped in front of her and crouched, forcing her to look at him. “I’m not angry with you, Lore. You are overwhelmed, and this is a great responsibility on anyone’s shoulders. Beauty mentioned that you don’t seem like yourself, and I realized something when she said it.”

Her wide eyes stared up at him, tears already filling them as though she was terrified of what he might have to say. “What did you realize?”

He hooked a finger underneath her chin, needing to touch her. “You are not the same person. You are not the half-elf scrounging around Tenebrous for a scrap of food, nor the elf who was blackmailed into killing the King. You are not the elf who led her people across all Umbra searching for my eggs, or the woman who led them into battle. You are a new version of yourself. Always and forever changing into someone new.”

A single, glistening tear rolled down her cheek. “And what does that mean to you, my dragon?”

Abraxas dragged her forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. Gentle, as always, so she knew he wasn’t going anywhere. “It only means that I love you in every season of your life. Every change. Every whisper of difference. I love your mismatched eyes and the power that makes you a little shaky sometimes. I love you even when you do not love yourself. You are part of me, Lore, and how could I hate something so deeply embedded in my soul?”

She swallowed hard, her voice thick as she replied, “I love you too. I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Ah, impossible.” Abraxas drew her into his arms and pressed her against his heart. “You could never disappoint me, my beloved, my mate. Never.”