Chapter 14

"Idinnae ken, Malcolm, sometimes I think tis more simple at sea...!"

James brown eyes twinkled, the pair were settled down in the corner end of the smiddy shop. Ainslee and her father had gone to bed, taking Marisse with them, now it was only James and Malcolm, bedding down in the hay.

The last of the fire crackling in the grate, Malcolm huddled in the blankets and sighed.

"Aye, I ken, there"s only the sea, the wind, the seacats, famine, rats, scurvy, disease, an" mutiny to worry aboot there. Och, an" shipwreck!"

"Nae forget cook"s civet o" fish head pottage," added James, with a sideways glance. "Wi" the mystery special ingredient!"

Both of them grimaced.

"Och an" the beef in brine," added Malcolm, pulling a face. "The galley is the most deadly place on a boat!"

James laughed, "Och, we"re most fortuitous to be here, on dry land, a braw wee dram an" a pot o" something gusty in oor bellies!"

Malcolm concurred, supping from his dram, a warm haze came over him.

It was true. For the first time in months he had had a dry bed and full stomach. Compared to what he was used to, it was luxury. Yet all he could think about was her.

Clinging to his cup thoughtfully, Malcolm shut his eyes.

"Ach, dreams o" yon sweet Ainslee haunting ye?" teased James, a crafty eye dancing straight on Malcolm. This brought Malcolm up hard.

"Och, whit, what?" he asked, half squinting. It was dark, Malcolm watched the flames chase shadows across the dusky barn. Suddenly he was tired. His head was heavy, and ached for her arms.

Watching him, James grinned. "Ye an" Ainslee, och, Malcolm, yer a dark horse. An" verra fast worker...She"s quite a catch!"

James brown eyes twinkled in the dim light, but instead of feeling encouraged, Malcolm"s heart plunged.

"Wheesht!" he chided, desperately racking his brains to end this conversation. He had never spoken of Ainslee to the captain, and he felt certain he would laugh at him.

Women were playthings, distractions, to the captain. In all the time Malcolm had known him, James had never been with the same lass twice.

And neither had he, now he thought of it. Not since Ainslee.

"Ah come on, I can see when a lad makes eyes at a lass," James said, his eyes snaking at Malcolm.

"Awa" an" bile yer head, I do nae!" Malcolm protested, but James just laughed.

"An" when a lass makes eyes at a lad!" he added. Malcolm nearly blushed.

"She does nae," he said, his heart leaping a bit. Did she really make eyes at him? His hopes raced. "But if she does, then, well, ye cannae blame the lass!"

Malcolm grinned, pretending it was no big deal, but it didn"t wash James just looked at him.

"She"s a comely lass, but ye"ve got yer work cut oot," he mused, with a side shot to Malcolm. "Tis as if she is testing ye... or something..."

"Och, tis naething. She"s a bonny lass, but tis all," said Malcolm, trying to deflect him. "An" if we have a bit o" slap an" tickle in the meantime, then braw. If nae, well, there"s other fish in the sea!"

Lowering his head, Malcolm gulped his drink, then poured another. The heat of the dram rushed him, burning his cheeks. He was giddy, warm... Glancing nervously, he gaged James" face.

Had he bought this?

"Fannybaws," said James, unflinchingly. He refilled both their drams, yet again, although Malcolm could not recall drinking the last one.

Already, the room was spinning. His aching head told him he already had more than enough already, and yet, Malcolm needed more.

James" steely gaze filed through him, watching him closely.

"Ye bum"s oot the window, laddie!" Malcolm protested, but he knew it was no good.

James shook his head, smiling. "Mal, laddie, I can tell when a lassie"s tongue is hanging oot her mouth... nae mind aboot yers, something goes on there, so ye might as well tell me whit?"

Mal squirmed. This was embarrassing. He had never admitted to having feelings for a lassie before. Shifting uncomfortably, he tried to summon the words.

But before he did, James shot in.

"Well, she"s a braw lass, an" definitely worthy o" the attention," said James, unexpectedly. "If she was mine, I wouldnae let her go..."

Malcolm looked up, sharply. This hadn"t been what he expected. James" head bobbed at him cheerfully.

"Aye, lad. The Ainslee lass, an" her comely friend... they"re the marrying kind..., och, o" course if I was the marrying kind, that is!"

James winked, making Malcolm laugh. Then, a scuffle from the back of the barn made them silent.

Putting his finger to his lip, Malcolm bade James to silence. For a moment, they listened; every creak and scraping in the darkened blacksmith"s barn.

A light padding of feet across the room made Malcolm hold his breath. Fearing it was Ainslee - or worse still, her dad - Malcolm tensed.

"Ainslee?" whispered Malcolm, his eyes battling the dying light.

A sliver of fur wrapped around his leg. Malcolm nearly leaped out of his skin. A soft purring was encircling him.

Malcolm, whose heart had not stopped thumping, breathed deep. "Och, ye mangy flea bitten wee thing!"

James laughed hard.

"That"s nae way to talk to yer better half," he jested. But then he caught Malcolm"s eye.

"So then lad, are ye gonnae tell me it, then?" asked James, his eyes raising quizzically. Malcolm sighed. "All about ye an" the fair an" lovely Ainslee?"

"Ah, James, ye dinnae ken the half o" it,lad," Malcolm said, laying back and trying to get comfortable on the rough and ready bed. It was impossible. Giving up, Malcolm propped himself up by the elbows and gazed out.

"We were betrothed to marry," he said, wistfully. James" eyes caught the light.

"Betrothed?" he said, his eyes almost split open. "As in wed, ye?"

James spat the words as if they were curses, Malcolm could not help but laugh at his fright.

"Aye, och, well, almost," a doubt curdled in Malcolm, as his mind went to his father"s clan ring. The one he planned to give her when they married. "I gave her a bonny wee posy ring, twas just between her an" me..."

Malcolm"s heart panged. Ainslee was no longer wearing the ring. Idly, he wondered whether she still had it.

"Sounds verra romantic," said James, his brown eyes blurring into the darkness. Malcolm squinted. It was hard to tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"So, ye an" her, were secret sweethearts?" he said, with a conspiratorial air. Malcolm nodded.

"Aye, well, sort o", we werenae quite official," he explained. Even as he was speaking, Malcolm was hit by his own regret.

Whyweren"t they official? What had taken him so long to propose? This, and a million more questions throbbed through Malcolm"s tired head.

"Well then, where"s the problem?" said James, sitting right up and watching in a matter of fact way. "Ye just carry on from where ye left off?"

"If only," muttered Malcolm, burying his head in his hands. Waves of tiredness crushed him. He had not realized just how exhausted he was, yet James was suddenly keen on talking.

"Ye just pick up where ye left off... an" wed her!" declared James, with a straightforward grin. He fixed his arms around Malcolm, squeezing hard.

Shaking off his grip, Malcolm dissented.

"Och, I would love to, but she"ll nae hear o" it, especially noo," lamented Malcolm. "Nae, that ship has sailed!"

James looked at him uncertainly. "How do ye ken? Have ye asked her?"

This was so preposterous, that Malcolm just snorted. "Nae! Tis doomed. She doesnae want me, an" that tis putting it mildly!"

James looked at him, slightly put out.

"Well maybe ye should try again... this time dinnae give up, til ye get the answer ye want!" he said, looking at him seriously.

Malcolm yawned, and watched the embers glowing in the fire. But James did not take the hint. He was wide awake.

"Ah, lad, imagine it, ye an" Ainslee, me an" Marisse, they will keep a bonny house for us, an" when we"re home from sea, we"ll be looked after right... Imagine it, lad... The life we could have..."

Malcolm sat up. "Whit, ye mean, marrying... an" then go back to sea?" he said, incredulous. Inside, his flummoxed head was spinning.

But James was animated, taking a dram, he sat up, smiling. Malcolm caught his face briefly in the flitting light. He seemed earnest. "A bonny double wedding, ye an" me, whit do ye say, lad?"

Something stirred in Malcolm. "I dinnae ken," he said, stretching, and looking up.

Despite his overwhelming need to be asleep, James had awakened something in him. Instead of James" fanciful plans, he had thoughts of his own.

"Whit is that?" said James, raising his head. Malcolm shook his head. His mood had turned serious.

"I cannae think o" that," he said. "Only what I am here for, an" that is finding the clan, an" overthrowing Bruce. We need to plan, get the clansmen on oor side. I cannae think o" wee things like weddings!"

James" face changed. He nodded. But Malcolm knew it would be no easy task.

"We must make plans... The morrow, we go to the clan, an" get the lie o" the land. Then, I find my murderous brother, an" make him pay - everyone will see him for what he is!"

A hot rush raced through Malcolm"s head. His time was coming, and he had waited so long. Suddenly, he was seething.

Seeing his fervor, James nodded sagely. "They will," he promised. "An I will be there, every step o" the way.."

Grateful, Malcolm smiled. "Thank ye, James."

"Nae fash lad, ye"ve seen me oot o" many a scrape!" James said, supping on his dram. His eyes shot playfully to the side.

"An" then we can wed the lasses, in the biggest feast the clan has ever seen!" James" face was flushed with animation. Drinking deep, he looked at Malcolm and smiled. "That would be braw, wouldnae it?"

Malcolm sighed.

James was so excited, he didn"t really want to ruin it. Instead, he smiled, and settled down. Pulling the blanket to his face he snuggled down.

"H"m," he muttered, noncommittally.

He had to admit, the idea sounded nice. But that kind of life was not for Ainslee. Months at sea, and never being home...

She would never go for it. Settling into his bed, Malcolm realized something else too.

He wouldn"t either.

It had to be all or nothing with her.

* * *

Mister McDonald"sdeep snores filled the air, metering the night.

Tucked into Ainslee"s tiny bed, Marisse giggled. They were top and tail, together in the dark. But compared to last night it was luxury. And in the cold night, Ainslee was glad of the extra body heat.

"Ainslee, are ye awake hen?"

Marisse"s voice came low and soft. Beside her, Ainslee gave a sigh. Between her father"s snores, and Marisse"s feet - poking indelicately into her face - there was never any chance of sleep.

"Aye," replied Ainslee, wearily. It was not just the noise. Her own thoughts were turning on her. With Malcolm just next door, she had no hope. Raising her head, she looked up.

"Och, what"s that sound?" Marisse said.

Somewhere, something was creaking, the unsettling sounds of wind on the shutters. Or was it on the floor? Everywhere she looked, something rustled;the tiny noise of scurrying mice ricocheted through the debris.

Mister McDonald presided over glorious chaos. Pots and cloths everywhere, in unceremonious piles. She had only been gone one evening, yet somehow the living room had been transformed into a vagrants" dosshouse.

"Tis naething," said Ainslee, uncertainly. The pair listened, until finally, the noise ebbed away, but not before a pot somewhere had been overturned. Most likely, her father"s chamberpot.

Sighing, she wondered what Malcolm made of it.

Malcolm.

Angrily, Ainslee sat up. Once again, he had punctuated her thoughts. And she was trying so hard not to let him. Cursing softly, Ainslee rolled her eyes.

"Och, it better nae wake "em !"

"That"s if Mal"s e"en asleep!" said Marisse, with a grin to her. "If ye ask me, yer man has been kept awake, wi" thoughts o" ye!"

"He"s nae my man!" snapped Ainslee, unconvincingly, but even as she said it, she wondered if it was true.

Was he in there, tossing and turning? Certainly since their encounter, she had been unable to sleep. Edgily, she dragged the covers up, leaving Marisse cold and indignant.

"Och!" she chastened, pulling the blankets back down. Ainslee glared at her, then sighed.

About to settle back down, Marisse looked up. "Ainslee? Ye alright?"

Ainslee just nodded, but held her head tight. Sensing her, Marisse came closer.

"Och, yer nae," she said, soothingly. Gently, she rested Ainslee"s head against hers.

A bitter lump came into Ainslee"s throat. She hated being made to feel like this. Brushing a stray tear away, she straightened. "Nae fash..."

Watching her in the shadow light, Marisse"s eyes questioned.

"Ye still sweet on him?"

It was more of a statement than a question, but still Ainslee resisted.

"Nae," she said, unconvincingly. Marisse just smiled.

"Fannybaws," she said softly.

"I ken, I ken," admitted Ainslee, finally. "I will do as ye said... an" forget Malcolm Duncan..."

A silence, in which only her father"s snores penetrated the air, then Marisse looked serious.

"I dinnae lass...," her voice trailed off. Ainslee instantly looked over.

"I dinnae ken, to begin wi", I wasnae sure. I thought yer man was gone, an" he had left ye... but now... what he said. Maybe tis true, an" he didnae mean to leave ye. Perchance he should have another chance...?"

Marisse"s voice sounded uncertain, but with tiny hope. Ainslee"s heart rushed with bitter hurt. It was the last thing she needed. If she needed anything at that moment, it was to be told to forget him.

But suddenly, Marisse was voicing hope. Ainslee"s heart hardened.

"Nae," she said, blowing out the candle and settling down.

"It"s nae use. I dinnae ken Malcolm Duncan anymore...The man I kent is gone forever!"