Chapter 1

1

PETRA

T here is no darkness so great as a night sky over the Iceland Plains midwinter.

I decide this as Alexus and Colden guide our horses through the blinding snow toward the faint lights of the village of Nori. Though the cold has turned my bones to ice and muddled my thoughts, I focus long enough to construct a glamour over the marks that rain down my face. Like spilled ink, the birthmark brands me as one of Loria’s descended. A curiosity. A rarity.

A commodity.

Near midnight, we reach the main road that cuts through the sleeping village. Nori is a stretch of cramped cottages and shops, a community that’s more like a town than the sprawling villages in the valley. It’s our last stop before we reach the northernmost village of Reede where I’ll make my home, far away from the temptations that torture me at every turn: the very men at my side.

Colden leads his horse and mine by the reins while Alexus walks a short pace ahead, clinging to his animal’s bridle. His black cloak billows like a dark ghost in the frigid wind, painting him into an ominous figure moving through the snowy landscape.

“I truly wish you would’ve waited until spring to do this, princess,” Colden grumbles up at me for the hundredth time since our journey began a few weeks back, snowflakes clinging to his eyelashes. We’ve argued many times about my questionable godly royalty, but he won the right to call me princess in a drink-off two years ago, fair and square. “If I lose my balls to the cold,” he continues, “and find myself doomed to eternity on this godsforsaken earth without them?—”

Before I can laugh at him, a door to one of the tall, crooked buildings swings open, spilling a wedge of golden light across the road. Sounds of soft chatter and faint music drift into the snowy darkness. Drink in hand, a man stumbles across the threshold of what appears to be a tavern. We watch him stagger down the road as we approach, and in minutes, after handing our horses off to a stableman, we’re standing inside the warmth of the bar in our rugged clothes, our laden packs dropped at our feet, hearty stale ales in hand.

Colden looks around the tavern from beneath his hood. “I believe we’ve found the local love shack.”

The room is filled with half-drunk people. A few sit alone, but most others are either coupled up at tables or wadded together in darkened corners doing gods know what. There’s laughter and murmurs and giggles and grunts to boot.

Eyes are upon us, though, as they’ve been every stop thus far. We’re drifters—travelers—yet thanks to Alexus’s shaved face and pulled-back hair, and Colden’s drab attire and dirt-smudged cheeks, no one has any inkling that their king, his Collector, and a descendant of Loria are in their midst.

And we want to keep it that way.

“We need rooms for the night,” Alexus says to the barkeep, keeping his hood up and his voice down. He leans his big body against the cedar counter and discreetly slips enough silver across its smooth top to buy the woman’s silence and nonchalance. “Can you accommodate us without any attention or affair?”

Covering the coin with a meaty hand, she glances at our faces and nods, sweeping the money into her skirt pocket. “I’ve only one room,” she says with a rasp. “The owner’s chambers. He’s gone on a fishing expedition. It’ll be plenty big enough, though ’tis only the one bed.”

The three of us share a glance and shrug at the same time. One bed is no matter. We’ve slept in the same room twice while stopping to rest. There aren’t many taverns or inns in these parts to begin with, much less those with lavish rooms waiting to be rented for a night. Sleeping with Colden and Alexus isn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done—for more than a few reasons. But a bed is a bed, and I’m with my best friends. I won’t complain.

“That’ll do.” Alexus drums his fingers on the bar top. “If you could get the lady settled first, we’ll join her shortly.”

Again, the barkeep studies our faces, though she pauses when she reaches mine. A knowing smirk tugs the corner of her thin mouth, and her brow flattens. She’s either thinking that I’m a whore down to my marrow or that I’m a very, very lucky lady. I cannot discern which, and I truly don’t care. I am lucky, though not for the reasons she probably thinks. I’m lucky to have these two men in my life, of that much I’m certain.

With a semi-wary look at my friends, I tug my pack over my shoulder, and the woman leads me to the back of the tavern. We climb a narrow set of stairs and stroll down a dimly lit hall to an arched doorway. I think of the dagger hidden beneath my cloak as she jangles a key ring from her pocket. She doesn’t look worrisome, but as Alexus has taught me, I watch her closely and keep my guard up regardless.

I can taste magick wafting off her.

She unlocks the door before pushing it open on creaking hinges and gestures for me to enter. I step past her into the cold, empty chambers, shivering in the shadowy darkness. It isn’t long before she has a fire crackling in the hearth, candles lit across the room, and a glass of mulled wine poured and waiting for me on a table beside the bed which is far larger than I expected. This place isn’t lavish, but it’s more comforting than the simple wilderness taverns we’ve visited before tonight.

The barkeep glances out the single window at the falling snow, then jerks her chin toward the copper soaking tub sitting in the corner of the room. “I’d prepare a bath, milady, but?—”

I raise my hand to stop her. “I wouldn’t ask you to deal with that tonight. We’ll be fine. We just need sleep.” What I don’t tell her is that I can and will remedy the bathing issue on my own the moment she’s gone.

That smirk of hers returns. “I could imagine you’d need a bit more than sleep after traveling with two men such as those downstairs.” Her round face flushes scarlet. “I certainly would. We don’t see very many people like them in these parts. Handsome lot.”

It’s my turn to blush. “They are quite lovely. But we’re only friends. Companions . We’ll be snoring within the hour.”

She frowns. “And is that what ye want?”

“Of course.” I smile uncomfortably, hoping to hide the lie. Having my body pressed between Alexus Thibault’s and Colden Moeshka’s, sleeping, isn’t what I want at all. It hasn’t been what I’ve wanted the two times we’ve shared a bed on this journey. But I’m not as brazen as Colden or as honest as Alexus, never one to speak my longings aloud. Especially not now that I’m leaving them.

The barkeep gives me an odd look, one of disbelief mixed with disapproval, but also one of doubt, as if she doesn’t quite believe my ‘of course.’

“That’s a pity, milady, but to each her own, I s’pose.” She heads to the door and pauses. “But just in case, I’ll spin a winter’s wish for ye, that the Ancient Ones grant you whatever it is you truly desire.”

A winter’s wish. What I truly desire. Dangerous combination if wishes really came true.

I thank her, and once I’m alone, I let my glamour fall and face the room, every corner glowing warmly with firelight. I somehow doubt the Ancient Ones care much about my carnal yearnings, or that I would very much like it if Colden and Alexus would grant me one night—just one—in their arms. I know I would be loved. Admired. Adored. I know that every touch would be a pleasure, every moment bliss. I’ve never felt that with anyone, really. Probably because I trust no one the way I trust my king and the Collector.

And I doubt I ever will again.

I turn to the copper tub. The boys always give me time alone when we stop to rest, a testament to the kind of men they are. They’re probably downstairs enjoying their drinks as usual, though I know they’re weary and would much rather be stripping away their layers and boots as they relax on the settee by the fire. I consider going down to fetch them, but they’ve just started on their ale, so I doubt they would come.

Plus, the bath.

In a matter of minutes, I’m sinking into a tub of steaming water. Water magick is a handy gift, and thanks to Alexus’s teaching, I know my way around a fire thread or two. Fire magick is so important to him, something he seems to cling to, even though he can’t wield it. I’ve always wondered why, and I’ve considered attempting to look into his past to find the answer. But a man as private as Alexus Thibault probably hides his secrets for a reason, and my gift isn’t meant to pry into my friends’ lives. Not unless they want me to. And he never has.

I wash with lavender soaps I found in an amber glass jar, even running some of the lather into my hair and rinsing. I take a deep inhale, then duck beneath the water, relishing the heat soaking into my bones. I linger there, holding my breath.

When I break the surface and wipe the water from my face, I blink my eyes open, only to find Colden and Alexus standing frozen just inside the room.

Their eyes are wide, taken completely off guard.

“Fuck,” is all Alexus says, the word hanging on the edge of an exhaled breath, low and deep.

“My sentiments exactly.” Colden sets his pack on the floor. “Pardon our disobedient eyes.” He turns and shuts the door behind him, sliding the lock while Alexus, face reddening, clears his throat and slowly gives me his back.

It takes a matter of seconds before it dawns on me that the water isn’t covering my breasts.

“Oh, gods. So sorry.” I reach for the bath linen and stand, water coursing off my body as I quickly fold the towel around myself and step from the tub. I lean over the still-steaming water and squeeze out my hair. “I didn’t think you two would come up so soon.”

Colden steals a peek over his shoulder before facing me while Alexus crosses to the dressing table and leans his pack against it, sighing just loudly enough that it reaches my ears like a whisper.

“The barkeep said you decided to forego a bath,” Colden informs me. “We knocked. When you didn’t answer, we thought you might be sleeping.”

“I didn’t hear.”

That mischievous smile of his unfurls across his lovely face, and one blondish-brown eyebrow arches over a dark eye. “Obviously.”

I glance at Alexus’s wide back as he sheds his cloak and traveling coat. He’s so quiet. I know that seeing me bare-breasted was awkward. We’ve been careful and lucky on this trip—there’ve been no other moments like this. Which might be the problem, because a strange tension floats in the air now, radiating from Alexus Thibault like heat. It makes something in the pit of my stomach tighten.

He opens the top drawer of the dressing table and withdraws a black garment. He turns and, after assessing me from crown to foot, walks toward me, handing me the bundled fabric. “The barkeep said to tell you about this. A clean gown.”

Clutching the bath linen against my chest with one hand, I hold his gaze and accept the gown. “I’m sorry,” I say again, quietly. “I didn’t mean to?—”

Alexus folds his big hand around my arm and kisses my forehead. “Do not apologize. I’m the one who should be sorry.” His thumb strokes my skin, still hot and wet from the bath, as the corners of his mouth lift a little, not enough to call it a smile, though the effort is there. “I suppose that ale was stouter than I believed, because when I saw you, I lost my manners.”

I stare up into his green eyes, feeling his warmth so close, his grip gentle on my arm. My nipples harden, and a tender ache builds between my legs. All I can think about is what it would be like to finally kiss him the way I’ve imagined the last few years. To lay him back on the bed, crawl over him, and ride him while Colden covers our bodies in kisses.

“I think I might take a quick dip in your bath, princess,” Colden says, interrupting the moment with his typical, perfect timing.

The heat and magnetism between me and Alexus snaps as we abruptly pull apart, and I try to breathe. Standing by the fireplace, Colden has already stripped free of his cloak, coat, and sweaters. All that’s left is his tunic and leather trousers. When he tugs his shirt over his head with one hand, revealing a torso that’s just as leanly muscled as I have always imagined, that ache between my legs throbs.

It’s just skin, Petra.

Yes. Naked, beautiful, Colden skin. Skin I’ve longed to touch too many times.

Alexus looks at him too. Their eyes meet for a long moment, the way they so often do. Colden once told me that he and Alexus aren’t lovers in the sense I used to believe, that they’ve only ever shared certain common intimacies, whatever that means. He also told me that Alexus’s heart is a mysterious landscape locked behind a wall he keeps erected at all costs. Surely someone must have the key. A part of me has long wished that someone could be me, but somehow I already know that it can’t.

Tightening my fist in the gown, I shake my head to clear it. “Enjoy,” I say to Colden, trying to ignore the curves of his muscled chest or the deep lines carving his abdomen. “I’m going to dress for bed.” I nod toward the dressing screen, a wooden trifold affair with a white, almost gossamer-like material stretched so thinly over the frame I’m certain Colden and Alexus will still be able to see me when I change. I can’t decide if they might want to see me or not. Insight is my gift. Intuition flows thick in my blood. And yet tonight I can’t determine what anyone is really thinking except for me.

Alexus steps aside, and I cross to the dressing screen. Behind the thin barrier, I slip into the silken gown which is far prettier and daintier than it should be for a piece of clothing found in the owner’s chambers of a northern tavern. It fits perfectly— if I were trying to seduce the men sharing the room with me.

There are no sleeves. Only straps. And though the garment comes to my ankles, two slits travel up the sides of my thighs, clean to my hips. The top fits over my ample breasts comfortably, like many of the clothes tailored for me at Winterhold, while the rest is snug in all the right places. It’s as though the gown was made by…

Oh, my gods. Magick.

The barkeep.

Partly annoyed at the woman, yet also thankful for a clean gown, I take a deep breath and blow it out before stepping from behind the screen. I remind myself that these men have seen plenty of women in far less clothing than what I’m wearing.

As though they’re both attempting to keep certain tensions down, neither of them looks at me. Colden is leaned back in the tub, hair wet and slicked back. Beads of water glisten on his skin under the firelight. He’s silent, and Colden is never silent, especially in moments ripe for his innuendo-laced remarks. I know he sees me in his periphery, but he keeps his gaze trained on the curved edge of the copper tub.

Alexus sits on the settee in front of the hearth, tunic untied and open, revealing a sliver of scarred and muscled chest. His knees are spread wide, and he has one arm laid across the back of the settee. He cradles a glass of dark liquor in his other hand, the glass at rest on his thigh as he stares into the low flames warming the room.

Quietly, I check the changing table for a robe. Nothing, of course. To end this misery, I could crawl into bed, bury myself beneath the covers, and try to sleep. That would be better than enduring this awkward silence. I’m anything but tired, though. My skin is warm. Flushed even.

And that ache…

Finally, Alexus looks up at me. It’s another wide-eyed gaze as he takes me in—crown to foot—slowly. But then his gaze narrows into a dark and lingering look, tracing my curves like a touch. I see hunger and loneliness in him. I’ve seen loneliness in him before, and it breaks my heart every time. It’s as though there’s some darkness that haunts him, some great emptiness that can never be filled. But I have still often wanted to try.

“Come sit,” he says, and I obey. Alexus has a way about him. When he utters a command in that calm and steady voice, no one denies him.

Still, I’m self-conscious as I move in his direction, and even more so when he doesn’t lower his arm from the back of the settee as I sit beside him. I’m glad he doesn’t. It’s as though he’s answering my silent question about whether he wants me near.

Tonight, he does.

He hands me his liquor, like I might need the liquid courage more than him. I’m not sure that’s the case, especially when our fingertips touch and his powerful thigh—stretching the leather of his trousers—grazes the bare skin of my exposed leg. I take a healthy drink anyway, enjoying the burning slide down my throat, the way it pools warm in my belly.

Water sloshes in the tub behind us, alerting us that Colden is finished bathing. The air tightens. We’ve never been together like this. When we’ve shared a room and slept in the same bed, it’s with trousers and sweaters on. The first time, Alexus even took to the floor come midnight. Tonight, however, the atmosphere feels electric, or maybe I’m imagining everything, and my heart is the only one in the room that’s racing.

“Gods, I feel like a new man.” Colden pads over to the liquor cabinet that stands next to the hearth. He’s wearing nothing but a thin, damp bathing linen around his narrow waist.

I take another drink of Alexus’s liquor and swallow hard, trying not to stare at my king’s body—the way the lines of his back flex as he pours his glass, the way the bath linen stretches across the curves of his ass, the way the material bulges at the front, such a thin barrier between us and what appears to be a very gifted and well-endowed part of his anatomy.

A throb pounds through me, forcing me to squeeze my thighs together to dull the achy need there. It doesn’t work.

This is going to be the longest and most miserable night of my life. I’m already in agony.

How I wish it could be different.

“I want to bathe, too,” Alexus says out of nowhere.

I snap my head around. My heart all but stops, my hand tightening around the glass. Alexus is looking right at me, though his gaze drifts to my clenched thighs, which I quickly release.

Even Colden turns, stopping mid-pour, wearing a stunned expression. “You? Getting naked in a room with other people in it?” He chuckles. Darkly. “My, my. Please grace us with such an anomaly.”

I bite down on my lip and momentarily close my eyes. If we are all half-dressed or naked tonight, I will not survive. I already want them both so badly I can hardly stand the idea that I will wake up tomorrow just as I woke up today: without knowing the experience of being with them. But short of blurting out my desires—something I’m sure the barkeep would recommend—Colden and Alexus will never know the thoughts torturing my mind.

Alexus stands and moves toward the tub, giving Colden a cocky look as he passes. “I didn’t say you could watch.”

There’s a shift in his tone, his voice layered with something I’ve never heard from him. Something sensual. A little playful. It sends a chill dancing across my skin.

Colden smiles, revealing bright white teeth. “As if you could stop me.”

I expect Alexus to get in the tub. I expect ten levels of awkwardness as Colden sits beside me half-naked while we listen to Alexus strip and wash behind us—misery for us both, I’m sure.

But that isn’t what happens.

“Can you work your magick for me, Petra?” Alexus asks. “The water has cooled, and it’s filled with Colden’s grime.”

Colden’s smile grows wider.

“Absolutely,” I answer, stuttering and fumbling about as I look for somewhere to sit my glass. My legs are shaking. It’s as though I’ve forgotten how to function.

Colden crosses the ornate rug between us and reaches for the drink in my hand. The still-damp skin of his abdomen and blond trail of hair that disappears into his towel are right in front of my face, along with that bulge I noticed earlier.

“Flustered?” he asks with a wink, lowering his voice. “Wait until the bastard takes his shirt off.”

Every inch of me feels set on fire as I stand before Colden, noticing the tension in his jaw when I meet his stare. I’ve experienced this moment too many times not to recognize it for what it is. He’s struggling to keep from glancing down at my breasts.

I face Alexus, my nerve endings alight, my mind filling with images of the three of us naked and tangled. Magick, Petra. I focus on that throughout the next several minutes, trying to suffocate the other thoughts in my mind. It isn’t easy to make that much water vanish and reappear, but Alexus believes in practice, that much is for certain, so he’s never afraid to ask.

Soon, the copper tub is refilled. Alexus stands across from me on the other side of the vessel. Holding my gaze, he reaches over his head and tugs off his tunic.

I’ve seen glimpses of his scars, and the many runes carved into his skin, but he’s never told me of their purpose. I know a bit about runes, though, and I’m sure these are just more signs of his secrets, signs of his past. Signs he will never discuss with me.

Beyond those marks, though, is one of the most beautiful bodies I’ve ever seen. Colden is regal in stature, his skin pale white, his scars petal pink. He could’ve been carved by the gods from stone, his face so stunning it’s almost criminal. Alexus is the darkness to Colden’s light. His skin is light golden brown, the deeper warmth gently fading from the kiss of last summer’s sun. His powerful warrior’s body is covered in mystery and thickly muscled, whereas Colden has the leaner physique of a young soldier who might also be half-god. Alexus wears the marks of battle differently than Colden. They live like brands on his skin, shadows in his eyes, and ghosts in his soul.

His hand lowers to the ties of his trousers. Nipples hardening like pebbles, I follow the movement, noticing again the trail of hair, a tempting black line drawn from his navel that vanishes into his pants—more darkness to Colden’s light. I ball my fingers into fists as I glance further down where the beginnings of an erection press against his leathers. He unlaces the first tie, and as my heart pounds like a drum, I lick my lips, unsure whether to watch or turn away.

“I need you to tell us what you want, Petra,” he says, as though reading my mind. “I can sense it, but I need to hear you say it. After all these many days and nights together, I can assure you that Colden and I are just as torn as you.”

“It’s quite evident, princess,” Colden says from behind me. “But you can be honest. It’s okay.”

He isn’t invading my space—he’s an entire stride away—but I still shiver at his nearness, at being pinned between these two men. It’s exactly where I want to be, and yet I’m terrified.

Still, now that my secret is no more, relief drops through me, though it quickly feels like a sinking stone. I’m glad to know they’re both struggling, too, and I’m glad Alexus and Colden are intuitive enough to see my misery. But they just made it clear that it’s up to me to decide where this night goes. Am I brave enough to do this? To have this? To walk away from it when they leave me in Reede?

“I… I don’t know what I want, really,” I say, my voice small. Then I shake my head, deciding to find my bravery. “That’s a lie. I want to be with you. Both of you. I’ve wanted it for so long. Wished for it, even. I’m wishing for it now.”

The room falls silent, until Colden says, “That’s quite the wish.”

I nod and fold my arms beneath my breasts, turning so that I can look at them both. “In my years in the Drifts and when I traveled north, I never met anyone I trusted the way I trust the two of you. I’ll never have this again. I know that, and it scares me. A whole lifetime awaits me, facing people who won’t see me the way that you do, not if they learn what I really am. That fear of being found out will be with me until my dying day. Until then, I know I must protect myself, and that means trusting very few people. How do you open yourself to a lover if you can’t show them who you really are? If I can’t show them this? ” I motion to the markings on my face as tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away. “I also simply crave you. Both of you. I don’t know how it’s possible to not want you. I’ve ached so many of these nights we’ve shared, laid awake wishing I could feel both of you inside me, needing relief but being far too cowardly to ask for it.” They both stare at me, a little shocked if I’m reading them correctly. “Don’t look at me like that. You said I could be honest.”

After a moment, Colden gives me a soft smile. “Always. But just so that I’m clear, you’re saying that you want us both. Sexually. At the same time. Tonight.”

My blood rushes so hard it’s all I hear. “Yes. That’s what I want.”

Colden looks at Alexus, and I follow his gaze. The look on Alexus’s face is one of indecision. I can see the conflict clearly, the war in him. A man in constant turmoil.

“Only if you’re good with it,” Colden says to his friend, sharing some silent conversation I’m not privy to. They often speak with their eyes alone, moving through the world like one entity at times.

“I am,” Alexus finally says. “I think I need you both.”

A look of surprise crosses Colden’s face, but he inclines his head, again communicating an understanding with Alexus that I can’t read. “Are you protected?” he asks, turning back to me.

“I am,” I tell him, though only for my own comfort on this journey.

“I’m assuming that, to make such a request, you’re not inexperienced,” Colden adds.

“No,” I reply with a smile. “I’m thirty years old, Colden.”

“I know,” he says, arching a brow. “But have you ever had two men? That’s an entirely different endeavor, princess.”

I can’t help but notice when the front of his bath linen moves a little.

“No,” I answer again. “But I trust the two of you with my body.”

“That’s saying a lot given what you want us to do to you tonight,” Alexus says.

I shrug one shoulder. “Perhaps. But I know you won’t push me further than I can handle.”

Being raised in a village that didn’t want me, without my parents, I came to learn a life that involved people who didn’t care for me. No one was ever loving or watchful. No one ever taught me to protect myself. No one ever watched over me like the truest guardians. No one else would draw swords for me save for these two men. Draw blood . They truly care for me and my well-being. If I can trust anyone to gift me a night of attentive pleasure, it’s them.

At the corner of my eye, Alexus pushes his trousers down his hips. This time, I watch, because it feels like an invitation. He has to all but peel the leather down his muscled legs, and he takes his braies with them.

All the air leaves my lungs when I glimpse his cock for the first time. He’s half-hard and beautiful— and big . The sight makes my chest tighten, the thought of him inside me, filling me, moving in me.

I’m not the only one affected by Alexus’s teasing. Colden comes to stand beside me, his bare arm brushing against my shoulder. His drink is no longer in his hand, but he looks a little drunk regardless. His eyes are glazed, as though seeing Alexus naked has mesmerized him.

“Stunning, isn’t he?” he asks, and all I can do is nod.

Stunning seems like one of the only accurate descriptors for the Collector. He’s enough to make a person stop breathing, to make the rest of the world stop spinning, to still a heart from beating.

All with a glance.

Alexus steps into the tub and sinks into the water. Quickly, he dips under and soaks his head before pushing back to the surface.

Wiping his face, he motions to me with come-hither fingers. “Take your gown off and get in with me.”

A shiver chases down my spine. Again with the gentle commands. I am so weak to the way those words sound that I instantly slip the straps from my shoulders and shimmy out of the garment. Alexus Thibault’s voice is as persuasive as any enchanter, but the way his eyes darken when he looks at my naked body is just as magickal.

Colden takes my hand, his admiring gaze skimming up and down my figure. I have a fuller shape, one that speaks of comfort and sensuality.

He just shakes his head, clearly quite happy with my curves. “You are utterly breathtaking, princess.” Before he helps me into the tub, he says, “Can I kiss you first?”

I nod, and he faces me, stepping closer. Staring into my eyes, he slides his hand deep into my hair and draws me to him.

With his breath grazing my lips, my king tips my head back, and after a few agonizing moments, his cool mouth softly captures mine. His tongue slides carefully inside my mouth, as though he’s making sure I’m all right with the intrusion.

But I’m so starved for him. I’ve dreamed of this kiss for ages. I don’t have to dream anymore, though. He’s here, half-naked, kissing me. So I deepen this kiss, tasting the spicy liquor on his tongue as I press my body firmly against his—my soft to his hard.

“More than a kiss,” I beg him, longing for relief. “Please.”

At first, all I can focus on is the torturous rub of my taut nipples against the soft, golden hair on his chest. But then his hand drifts down my back, over my ass, and he bends and grips me behind the knee. Unexpectedly, he lifts my leg, placing the arch of my foot on the edge of the tub, opening me to him.

Eyes on mine, he touches me there, dragging his fingers through the wetness gathered between my legs before slowly slipping a finger inside me. Holding on to his broad shoulders, I try to contain myself, but I can’t stop the sound that leaves me. The whimper.

He kisses my throat, his tongue tracing a pattern along the sensitive skin beneath my ear. “You feel so good, princess. Is this how you’ve touched yourself when you’ve slept alone? Knowing we were just across the hall?” He pulls back and looks into my eyes again. “Oh, the things we would’ve done to you if we’d known you were doing this all alone, wishing it was us touching you.”

He pushes my knee back a little, spreading me open further, and moves behind me. Kissing the curve of my shoulder, he slides his hand down my abdomen and returns to his ministrations, pulling me apart, exposing me. He’s doing this for Alexus, giving the Collector a perfect view.

Alexus meets my stare before glancing down, that hungry look in his eyes returning. It thrills me the way these two work, the silent knowledge they share, the understanding they already seem to have of one another’s needs. I long to know more, to experience more of their connection, even if just for the night.

With Alexus’s eyes on me, I begin moving on Colden’s hand.

“Oh, there she is,” my king whispers against my ear as he plunges a finger inside me, then adds another. “You’re going to feel so good wrapped around our cocks, aren’t you, princess?”

His words are enough to make my stomach flip and my mind reel, especially knowing Alexus is absorbing every second of what Colden’s doing to me.

As Colden tilts my head back and kisses me, his tongue exploring and tasting, and as I move my hips, greedily sliding along his fingers, it registers that his touch isn’t warm. It’s as cool as his talented mouth, the contrasting sensations between our skin sending a bolt of longing through me. Is his cock just as cool to the touch?

His movements slow. “I think I have to share. I’m sure the sorcerer wants his turn.” Colden lowers my leg, keeping his arm around my waist.

Alexus’s eyes have gone black as night, his features sharp. He’s leaned back in the tub, the water not quite covering his abdomen. One arm rests on the vessel’s edge while he strokes his cock slowly.

He lets go, and I memorize the sight of him: his full erection, every throbbing vein, and that lovely, broad head.

“He’s magnificent,” Colden says.

I couldn’t agree more.

Again, Alexus motions for me to come to him.

“Not the… Not the bed?” I say softly, a bit curious why the bath is where things are beginning.

“The warm water will relax you,” Colden says, winking again. “And Alexus will certainly get you ready. We need a little playtime to figure out how much you can handle.”

Oh. Oh my . How much can I handle?

I feel eager but anxious, excited but scared. But I want this. Whatever I can have with them, I want it.

Colden holds my hand as I step into the tub. The vessel is large like the bed. Still, even though the tub is fairly wide, I’ll have to straddle Alexus. It’s the only way we can both fit.

I gasp when I settle around his hips, the hot water rising with my presence, more contrast on my skin. Alexus stares into my eyes and lifts his hips, pressing the hard ridge of his cock between my legs. The expression that masks his face happens so quickly I almost miss it, but I recognize it all the same.

Relief.

I grip the side of the tub as his eyes close and his mouth parts on a breath, the quiet rapture of a man who hasn’t felt a woman in far too long. Need flickers through me, and as though he senses it, he leans forward and closes his warm mouth around my nipple, his red lips stark against my soft pink tip.

While he sucks and bites and teases one breast, he cups the other, his hand large enough to grip my entire breast. I pant as he squeezes and kneads my flesh before tweaking the tip. It sends desire straight to my core, making my clit tingle and my muscles tighten. It also makes me far too aware of the emptiness I so desperately need filled.

Suddenly, Colden is there, kneeling beside the tub. He trails a cool touch up and down my spine as Alexus worships my breasts.

I turn my head to kiss my king.

“Do you want Alexus’s cock inside you, princess?” he asks against my lips, his question making me blush. “Do you want him to stretch you wide for us?”

“Yes,” I moan, my voice breathy as I rock my hips against Alexus’s hardness, the water lapping at my sensitive flesh only heightening my need.

“I can’t blame you,” he whispers with a smile in his voice, and then, “Give the woman what she’s begging for, Alexus.”

After sliding a wicked glance at Colden, the sorcerer grips my hips and lifts me just so, repositioning me.

Colden reaches behind me, and though I can’t see what he’s doing, I can feel his slightly chilled touch. He’s holding Alexus’s cock.

For me.

“Sit back,” he says. “He’s so hard and so fucking ready for you.”

I can’t breathe as the world narrows to the image in my mind of what Colden is doing, then to that one sensation: the wide head of Alexus’s cock pushing into my entrance.

At first, he fills me slowly, inch by thick inch, but then he pauses and looks at me with a question in his eyes. “I don’t want to go too fast.”

“You won’t,” I plead, losing any control I have left. “I need you, Alexus.”

Just like that, I sink onto him at the same time he thrusts in fully. We gasp at the same time as the emptiness I’ve wanted to be rid of for so long is annihilated. There’s so much of him that I feel impaled at first, but I would gladly endure this sensation every day for the rest of my life.

Colden’s gaze is like a brand, its heat focused where Alexus and I are joined as he begins pushing into me, over and over, slowly fucking me until my body shudders. I’m so close to orgasm already. So close to showing these men just how much they’ve affected me these last few years.

Alexus slows down even more though, a small smile tempting the corner of his mouth. “Not yet. This needs to be a night you remember with fondness. I can’t have you remembering me for lasting all of a few minutes, and if you come now, I won’t be able to hold out.”

“I’m certain we can get another rise out of you,” Colden says mischievously. “Both of you. One way or another.”

Colden slips his cool fingers over the curve of my ass and further down, making me shiver. Alexus’s body stiffens beneath me but quickly relaxes as Colden touches the base of Alexus’s cock, stroking me in the process. It feels like he’s slipped Alexus between his V’d fingers, his fingertips curling against my damp flesh with every stroke back and forth.

“So lovely,” Colden says. “I’m going to lick both of you like this tonight. I’m going to put you on top of Alexus, princess, facing away from him, his cock buried deep, and I’m going to spread you wide and feast while he fucks you. Would you like that?”

Another whimper leaves me as I struggle to even nod. I’ve imagined many things with these two involved, but I’ve a feeling tonight’s pleasures will still be a surprise.

“We’re going to fuck you,” Colden continues, swirling his fingertip around my entrance, even as Alexus pumps in and out. “Right here in this pretty little pussy. It won’t hurt as much as the other way, and we haven’t time to get you ready for that foray. But we can still try to give you two cocks at the same time, if you want us. It might feel a little like this.”

Gods’ death, he slides a finger inside me, alongside Alexus’s cock.

I grip the edge of the tub so hard the copper lip bites into my palms. Alexus groans, loudly, and I’m uncertain if I can stop the orgasm that threatens, especially when Alexus slides his hand around my neck and draws me down to him as Colden fucks me— fucks us —with his finger.

“Would you like that?” Alexus says, making my toes curl. “Do you want us both inside you?”

My heart races and my blood pounds in my veins. “Gods, yes.” The idea of them fucking each other inside me is everything.

Alexus swirls his tongue over my nipple and bites down gently, flicking at the tip. My pussy tightens in response, and my clit hardens. One wrong—or one very right —move, and I’m going to erupt.

Colden kisses my shoulder. “Take what you want, princess. Show us how you fuck.”

I can barely stand listening to him talk that way. Either of them. It makes me feel like I could lose my grip on the entire world. It makes me feel like I’m composed of little more than a thousand unbridled desires.

The darkest kind.

Using the tub for leverage, bracing myself, I begin riding Alexus—and Colden’s finger—grinding the deepest part of me against the swollen tip of Alexus’s long cock.

He releases my breast with an audible pop as his fingers dig into the flesh of my hips. “Fuck, yes, just like that,” he grits out. “Fuck us, Petra.” He slides his hands down, gripping the underside of my ass, spreading me. Colden is still touching me. Still fucking me with his finger. He inserts another, though, working me, stretching me— preparing me.

I gasp and let out a small cry at the sudden, sharp sting and the feeling of fullness. It’s already so much that there’s no way taking more won’t involve true pain. And yet the threat is enticing, the thought of two cocks pushing into me, flesh to flesh.

Again, Alexus looks me in the eyes, his face taut with lust, and I realize he likes eye contact. He likes connection. Even still, this is just sex. I can feel the barrier between us, can see the wall Colden once mentioned. It’s like a shutter over Alexus’s eyes. Raw sex is all he can give me and Colden—the physical —and I respect whatever boundaries he holds in place. If the memory of pleasure is all I can carry with me after this, then so be it. I’d rather have a memory of us like this than never having this at all.

The muscles in Alexus’s jaw clench as I move on him, chasing the pleasure trapped between my legs.

“You’re getting tighter,” he says. “Wetter. You like what Colden and I are doing to your pussy, don’t you? It’s going to make you come for us, isn’t it?”

Crying out, I toss my head back as my release pulses through me in hard and violent waves. Colden clamps a hand over my mouth as I come, my body clenching Alexus as I ride it out, grinding on him as though I can possibly drive him deeper.

I can’t.

“Fuck him,” Colden orders, kissing and licking my neck. “Fuck him for me. Fuck him so good it hurts.”

I shouldn’t like it, those words, but hearing them uttered at my ear as Colden holds me silent, watching me as I rock on Alexus’s brutally rigid cock and Colden’s fingers, makes my orgasm even more powerful. The feel of his hand. His grip on my face. Being held there, trapped between them.

I want more. So much more.

When the haze of passion dissipates and my orgasm finally relents, I’m left feeling drugged, my body languid. It isn’t until Colden dries me off, sweeps me into his arms, and carries me to bed that I realize neither of them came.

Lying there with Colden sitting beside me, we watch Alexus dry off and walk toward us. His cock is still as raging hard as Colden’s.

Colden moves to the foot of the bed and crawls up between my legs as Alexus props my head on a pillow. I shiver when Colden runs his hands up my thighs and spreads my legs, trailing chilly kisses behind his touch.

“Come on, princess. Clear your head.” He drags a long lick up my inner thigh, making goosebumps rise on my legs. “That little taste of decadence in the tub was only the beginning.”

That wicked mouth captures my clit in a hard suck before he plunges his tongue inside me, making me cry out again as my spine arches of its own volition. Alexus taps my lips to shoosh me quiet and rests one knee on the edge of the bed, angling his cock toward my mouth. A shimmering pearl of cum awaits, ready to spill from the edge of his swollen tip.

“You’re going to bring all the menfolk upstairs, eager to rescue the crying maiden,” he says. “I suppose I have to keep you quiet.” Using his thumb, he easily pries my mouth open as Colden licks and sucks my still-tingling and sensitive flesh. I moan, helpless to the bliss flooding through me, but Alexus silences me by pushing the head of his dripping cock between my lips. “Shhh,” he commands, dragging his hand down his length to squeeze out another drop of cum.

Groaning, I take his tip fully into my mouth, devouring him. He groans, too, though the sound is far softer than mine, locked deep within his chest.

Gliding my tongue down his shaft, I feel that long column on his underside, as well as the veins running through all that hardness. I suck him, struggling to think around Colden’s expert tongue, and now his fingers, pumping into me. I can’t tell how many, but I feel stretched, like before.

He’s working me again, this time running his fingers from side to side in a half circle before pushing into me deep and then repeating the motions. His touch is meant for pleasure, but also to get me dripping wet and to force my muscles to become as lax as possible. Knowing why he’s doing this makes me impatient, though I know better than to rush a single part of this night.

Alexus presses his cock deeper, leaning over me, one hand gripping the headboard, the other gripping my breast. I don’t know what inspires me—Colden’s hand on my mouth earlier or Alexus quieting my moans moments before with his cock—but I take Alexus’s massive hand and place it on my throat instead.

“Gods, Petra, yes.” His fingers tighten, just a little. Just enough to make me feel that same sense of being trapped that I’d felt before, of being dominated by him and Colden. It’s a desire I didn’t know I possessed, a need to finally trust someone else enough to let them take control for a while.

Alexus starts to fuck my mouth then— truly fucking me —pinning me to the bed as he teases his cock toward the back of my throat. I can’t handle all of him like this, and he knows it. I know he’s holding back so that I feel thoroughly had, yet not to the point of discomfort. The muscled ridges of his abdomen are tight and flexed with his restraint.

There’s a carefulness in him, too, something I can sense as he watches me, detecting what I want and need, measuring the line between too much and not enough. The only problem is that I’m beginning to feel like I will never get enough. Like there isn’t anything they could do that I wouldn’t like.

Suddenly, Alexus withdraws every inch from my mouth, and Colden’s tongue and fingers leave my body. He sits up and then back on his heels, leaving me empty as he wipes the back of his hand across his glistening mouth. He and Alexus share a simple glance, and again, from that moment forward, their mental bond shows in the way they move, some greater awareness the rest of us don’t have—not even me, a Seer.

Alexus turns, rummaging through the drawers of the bedside chest. I watch him for a moment, but any focus on what he’s doing disappears as Colden crawls over me.

“Spread those lovely legs for me,” he whispers. Hands braced beside my shoulders, he teases his cock at my entrance before pushing in deep, making me curse. “Oh, princess,” he says on a breath, a feral look forming in his black eyes. “You are so fucking perfect. Now taste your sweet pussy while I fuck you.”

I fist my hands in his damp, blond hair as he leans down for a kiss. At first, his full lips are cool and wet on mine. Gentle. But then he pushes his tongue into my mouth the way he’d pushed it inside me minutes before, and gods, I can taste myself. It’s so arousing that I suck on his tongue the way he sucked on me, eliciting a deep groan.

There’s a momentary power shift that makes my skin tingle. In those seconds, I’m in complete control of my king. I’m certain I could steer him any way I’d like.

When I release him, he gasps and kisses me deeply, hard enough that when he pulls away, my lips feel swollen.

“Do you truly want us both inside you, Petra?” he asks again, thrusting hard and deep, almost like he’s trying to remind me of the punishment ahead if I agree to go through with this. “Say it. Tell me you want our cocks fucking you at the same time. Coming in you at the same time. Say it.”

I cup his beautiful face and, through the haze of desire washing over me, I give him what he wants. “Colden Moeshka, I want you both. Everywhere. Don’t make me beg.”

Though another deep chuckle reverberates inside his chest, his playful look quickly morphs into a dark and sensuous expression, growing darker still the moment Alexus appears on the far side of the bed. He slides toward us and lies next to me as Colden slows his movements, leaning onto his left elbow. From this angle, he can look at Alexus and me, or he can glance down and watch his cock moving in and out of me. He takes a moment to look at all three.

I’m struggling to focus. Colden feels so damn good, but this is like an interlude, a few minutes of keeping me ready while the real show gets set to begin.

Alexus holds up a small red glass bottle with a cork and then lays it on the bed between us. “Found.”

“Mmm,” Colden says with a small smile. “Glorious.”

I know exactly what that red bottle is. Those types of bottles live in many a bedside table here in the North, a gentle mixture of olive and primrose oils. The muscles between my legs clench, my body understanding exactly why we need it tonight.

Before I can think further about it, Alexus rises on his elbow, slips his hand across my waist, and leans down to suck my breast. I wind my fingers into his dark, wet hair, clutching him as he swirls his tongue around my nipple and draws the tip deeply into his hot mouth. Colden leans in and suckles my other breast, moving inside me in long, slow strokes.

Light and dark. Cold and heat. My king and the Collector.

Alexus looks up at me, tongue flicking my nipple.

“Gods, I wish you were doing that between my legs.”

As though commanded by that one little wish, Alexus kisses a trail down my stomach and, much to mine and Colden’s surprise, begins tonguing my clit, all while Colden’s cock throbs inside me.

Colden sucks in a harsh gasp. An expression of shock muddled with absolute delight paints his face as he leans back on his elbow to watch his friend.

“Fuck, Alexus, are you trying to make me come quickly? Because—” he gasps again, and his hips stutter in their movement, his entire body seizing, his lean muscles going rigid. Still leaning on his left arm, he buries his other hand in Alexus’s hair as his eyes close, his mouth parted.

I can still feel Alexus’s tongue, but I’ve a sense Colden can feel it, too, and not from accidental slips.

When Colden re-opens his eyes, his gaze is transfixed between my legs, his expression filled with longing as he pulls out to the tip and goes still again, his fist tightening in Alexus’s dark hair.

Alexus is doing what Colden promised he would do earlier, lavishing us both.

Colden’s head drops back, his chest rising and falling hard. “Gods, have you any idea how long I’ve waited for this?”

Alexus lifts his head, lips glistening with a wicked little smirk, and Colden meets his eyes.

A palpable tension fills the air, the kind I’ve only felt a few times in their presence, when their locked gazes could electrify an entire room. It was those gazes that made me believe they were lovers, but in this moment, I realize they are something far, far more than that.

They’ve existed together for nearly three hundred years. They’ve shared everything—well, almost everything according to Colden. The trust they must have, the depths of loyalty and dedication and devotion—I cannot fathom. This desire I see in them is real, but it’s also its own kind of love. More than romantic love. More than platonic love. And much more than sex. Their souls have been united for centuries, their very essences intertwined. They trust one another completely.

At the same time, they lean closer over me and kiss. It’s as though I’m watching a private moment, reveling in the way their lovely mouths move together, a dance I can tell they know well, but perhaps one they don’t perform often.

“Alexus.” Colden sighs the Collector’s name. “Oh, Alexus.”

My king begins moving his hips again, his cock so hard inside me—so hard and stiff and swollen. I know he must be aching.

Alexus touches my clit, rubbing tight little circles as he deepens their kiss, their tongues sliding and licking, enjoying one another but also enjoying me. My taste is in their mouths, a pleasure bringing them together as one.

I touch my breasts, feeling another threatening orgasm pulsing between my legs as Colden rocks his hips and Alexus teases my clit. I can feel Colden’s orgasm building, too, throbbing through his shaft to his tip. He’s so, so close.

“I’m really going to come if you don’t stop kissing me like this,” he says against Alexus’s mouth. “And I want us all to come together.”

Alexus kisses him one more time, then moves to the head of the bed and props his back against the pile of pillows. He reaches for me, and I know that if I let him take me, this will all end, far too soon.

“Wait.” I grip his forearm as Colden pulls out of me, once again leaving me with that empty feeling I hate. I glance at them both. “I want more of what just happened.” When they hesitate, I do something ridiculous. I make a wish, then I look at Alexus, understanding that he’s the one struggling to let his walls down tonight. “Please.”

Alexus arches a brow at Colden, and with one flick of his finger, Colden is on him, his long, beautiful body stretched over Alexus, moving to straddle him.

Stars and moons, they’re beautiful.

Alexus slides his hands up Colden’s thighs, up his sides, and then he pulls him down into a bruising kiss. Heat crawls over my skin and I have to touch myself, every inch of my body aching for these two men as Colden grinds his hips, rubbing himself against Alexus. I can’t see between them, but the thought makes me whimper again, my need so close that a mere image like that traveling across my mind makes me want to tease out my release right this moment.

But Alexus’s hand is suddenly on my knee, and as I come back to myself, I feel their eyes on me.

“No coming,” Alexus commands. “Not yet. Not until I say so. Just watch, or I’ll make you wait all night for what you want.”

I swallow hard, unused to this side of him—this darker side that peeks out now and again. I like it.

“Sit up,” he says to Colden, and like everyone else who buckles under Alexus’s voice, my king obeys.

Alexus reaches for the red glass bottle and un-pops the cork with his thumb. It’s then that my attention locks on their cocks, positioned so close together.

Seeing them like this is breathtaking. Colden is more slender than Alexus, his tip a bit narrower, but he’s just as long. Together, they’re enormous, and yet the sight makes my mouth water and every muscle between my legs clench.

Carefully, Alexus pours a thin stream of oil on Colden’s cock. I don’t know what I expect, in truth, but it isn’t for Alexus to set the bottle aside and begin stroking both of their cocks in his massive hand. He pumps hard, their cocks shiny and slick.

“Gods above, I cannot bear this.” Colden groans and reaches for me. “Kiss me, Petra. I beg you. Or I’m going to scream so fucking loud they hear me at Winterhold.”

He folds his arm around me when I move closer, but that part of me that enjoyed controlling him earlier rears her head. I glance down at their cocks, held tightly together by Alexus’s fist. They’re both leaking cum already, and I need to taste them.

I take their tips into my mouth, one at a time, sucking away the saltiness of their promising release.

“Fuck,” Alexus says as Colden fists my hair. The tug at my roots, that gentle bite of pain, only fuels me.

Alexus continues stroking, a bit more gently, but it’s as though he’s feeding me, an act that ironically only makes me hungrier and hungrier.

“Stop, or I’m going to come,” Colden warns, his voice breaking. “I can’t?—”

I pull away and kiss his mouth, but I’m fully aware of Alexus’s hand moving harder. Faster. I can hear his breathing growing deeper, his quiet grunts of pleasure.

“You like his hand on you,” I say to my king. “Fucking you.”

“You have no idea,” he whispers into my mouth, bucking his hips to match Alexus’s tempo.

“Yes, I do,” I say, torturing him. “I tasted what he does to you.”

Colden only nods, as though he can’t possibly form words right now.

I lean back down. This time, I only lick Alexus’s cock, cleaning up a long drip on his tip. He pauses his ministrations just long enough to let me, gasping when I drag my tongue across his head. Then I’m back with Colden, his black eyes shiny, like they’re coated in ice. Slowly, I push my tongue into his mouth, feeding him as he fed me, and this time, it is my king who whimpers.

He sucks my tongue, tasting the man I think a part of him has longed for all these years in some way.

“You need more of him, don’t you?” I ask.

“So much more,” he whispers.

“I’m not denying you,” Alexus speaks up, and Colden seems to shake out of a daze. “Put your mouth on me.”

Colden looks at me, eyes bright. “This is your night, yet I feel like I’m experiencing a very special fantasy birthday.”

“I can join you,” I say with a smile.

Together, we bow and feast on Alexus Thibault’s cock. Our tongues and lips tangle as we pleasure him, taking turns sucking. When it’s Colden’s turn, I find I’m quite impressed by his skill. He takes Alexus to the root and groans, something that sends a jerk through Alexus’s long body.

He lifts his hips, gripping Colden’s hair. “I don’t know what you just did but do it again.”

Colden smiles around Alexus’s cock, but he obeys, groaning, dragging out the sound.

“Fuck, that’s it,” Alexus cries, his head tipped back against the pillows. “That’s all. It’s time.”

Colden draws back, and in one fluid and gentle movement, Alexus pulls me atop him, my back against his strong, heated chest. I realize what’s happening as Colden helps position me, draping my legs over Alexus’s sides, spreading me open.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to forget this night for as long as I live,” Colden says, leaning down to lick me once, an oddly loving gesture. “I don’t care if I live for eternity. This is going to be branded on my memory.”

My heart starts hammering as Alexus bands his arm under my breasts. Colden returns to us one last time, sucking Alexus and licking me with that cool tongue that’s a shock to my system, priming us, getting us wet.

He rubs Alexus’s cock against me. “All you have to do is lift your hips and slide onto him, princess.”

I do as I’m told, Colden keeping Alexus angled just right as I sink onto his impossibly hard length. It takes my breath, Alexus’s size, giving me a moment of pause. I don’t know if I can take them both or not, no matter how badly I want it.

Alexus arches his hips, pressing deep as he kisses my shoulder. “If you need us to stop, just say stop, Petra. Or squeeze my wrist.” His voice is gentle, his caress up and down my arm soothing. “If anything is too much for you, that’s all you have to say or do, and we’ll stop.”

He isn’t known to be a Seer or a mind-reader, though I swear that in moments like these, I wonder if he has abilities that simply haven’t manifested yet, somehow dormant.

Resting against Alexus’s strong form, finding comfort in his embrace, I watch as Colden settles on his knees between us. “Alexus is going to hold both of you very still while I try to enter,” he says, as though they’ve done this before. Surely they have? Over so many years? There had to be a woman who found her luck long before me.

Colden opens the bottle of oil—I never even saw him pick it up—and pours a little more of the lubricant on his cock, stroking himself, covering his length in a deeper sheen, one that makes his engorged flesh look that much more obscene.

The yearning inside me coils into a tight, needy ache. But the moment he grips his cock and guides himself to my body, a bolt of fear ricochets through me.

He leans down one final time and kisses me between my legs. Kisses us . I watch him, lost in the sight, feeling our bodies growing wetter under the warmth and attention of Colden’s mouth. When he straightens, he wipes his mouth and leans forward, gaze holding mine as Alexus’s arm tightens on me.

“You’re sure?” he asks.

“Absolutely,” I reply.

There’s a sudden pressure at my entrance as he presses the head of his cock against Alexus’s shaft, trying to ease his way in.

“Take a deep breath and let it out,” Alexus says, and when I exhale, Colden pushes harder.

I start to cry out. Not to stop them, but from the intrusion that I so desire and simultaneously fear.

“Cover my mouth,” I order Alexus.

I feel him hesitate, but he thankfully does as I ask.

“Squeeze my wrist if we need to stop,” he reminds me. “I mean it.”

For what feels like several minutes, I gasp and gasp, trying not to buck to get away, feeling torn in two, a hot sting in my flesh—and so much fullness. But I refuse to end this.

Alexus clings to me through it all, holding me still and muffling my cries while Colden’s hands press into my thighs.

Pinned. Again. Just like I wanted.

“Fuck, so tight.” Colden blinks, shaking his head as if to clear it of a daze as Alexus slides his hand from my mouth. “Talk to us, princess,” my king commands. “I’m only halfway in.”

Halfway? Halfway? I can’t imagine taking all of him. And yet I can’t imagine not doing it either.

“Just say the word.” Alexus’s voice is warm and soft against my ear. “Just say it and we’ll stop, Petra.”

I shake my head adamantly and utter a different word. “More.”

Alexus presses another tender kiss to my shoulder. “So brave.”

Colden runs his hands up my waist to cup my breasts. “Yes, and such a good little girl. Fucking beautiful and so damn good.”

“Relax for me,” Alexus says. “One more time, then we can fuck you like you want.”

I try to relax, but I’m shaking. Trembling.

I wrap my hands around Alexus’s wrist and hold on. “Just do it,” I tell Colden. “And this is not me telling you to stop,” I say to Alexus. “Just get it over with so I can have you both.”

The look on Colden’s face is one of respect, but also lust. Holding my gaze, he spits on my pussy, the saliva falling from his mouth in an unexpected and purposefully erotic display.

“Fuck, Colden,” Alexus grits out, his cock twitching inside me, but I’m taken so off guard that I do, in fact, relax.

Then it happens. Colden pushes into me without hesitation.

A bolt of pain and that familiar hot sting returns, but my body seems to have adapted to the added girth—thanks to Colden’s earlier efforts—because, though there’s initial discomfort and pain, I’m not in misery like I expected. In fact, as moments slip by, the pressure of two erect cocks held captive inside me begins to feel amazing .

Colden smiles down at me, his eyes sparkling like they’re made of stars. “Are you all right?”

I nod, and though a lone tear slips from my eye as I quiver, I manage a, “S-so good.”

Alexus chuckles at my ear, then his hold on me eases. “We’re going to fuck you now,” he whispers, slowly beginning to move inside me. “And yes, we’re going to make this feel so good for you.”

Colden pours even more oil on us, then both men begin moving in a slow rhythm they don’t even have to work out. They just know, reading one another intuitively.

“Do you feel what this is doing to me?” Colden asks us. “How hard I am from fucking you both at the same time? I could die come morning, and all these years of living an immortal life would be worth it, for this night alone.” He sweeps a look at where his cock is rubbing Alexus’s, where he’s fucking us.

With every passing minute, my body eases into the invasion, the slight sting lessening more and more until pleasure completely overtakes everything else. It’s as though my mind simply changes direction, sensing the utter domination and claiming of these two men as ecstasy in place of agony. I’ve heard that sex can blur the line of pain, but until tonight, I didn’t truly understand how.

“Harder,” I beg them, wishing for more.

Colden gives me a narrowed look. “Be careful, princess. If you unleash us, you might not be able to rein us back in.”

“Harder,” I plead again, forcing an edge of daring into my tone. “I’m not scared.”

Little by little, my king and the Collector pick up their pace, pushing deeper and harder. I lie against Alexus, burying my hand in his silky hair as my body rocks atop him, my breasts moving with every thrust. I turn my head just enough to feel the roughness of his stubble on my face, the warmth of his breath.

He kisses me then. Alexus Thibault actually kisses me. I hadn’t thought he would. From what I witnessed between him and Colden, his kisses seem like saved-up gifts he only bestows every so often. This kiss is passionate yet soft, his lips lush yet firm, his tongue curious instead of claiming, almost like he’s daring to dream that I possess some greater fire I fear he won’t find.

He pulls away, and after I glimpse a glimmer of disappointment, those green eyes shutter once more, locking away any window he might’ve temporarily opened to a deeper part of himself.

I am not the one.

I can’t linger on the worry that spurns in my heart, because time blurs into nothing as the moment quickly passes and they take me. It could be seconds or minutes or hours that they fuck me, I can’t discern anything except pleasure and need, my body lost to them, to their cocks, their roaming hands—warm and cool—and Alexus’s kiss. I can feel their building orgasms thrumming against my walls, the rising sensation beginning to undo me, a star about to shatter.

Alexus slips his hand down my body and touches my clit as he and Colden move faster, pushing in as deeply as they can.

“Come for us, Petra,” the Collector whispers against my mouth. “Come for us, and we’ll follow.”

His words and his touch and his kiss and the way they’re thrusting into me shoves me over the edge. Alexus covers my mouth, trapping my cries before I can scream. He wraps his arm around me once again, pinning me against him as I thrash through the most intense climax of my life.

My body clenches, clutching at them over and over as tears of happiness fall from the corners of my eyes. I’m all sensation and joy and mindless bliss as I feel them coming in response, both of them pounding into me, gasping, chasing my orgasm as their swollen cocks finally spill their pleasure inside me.

I’m surrounded by muscled bodies and strong hands, curses and grunts and moans and cum, my pussy growing wetter by the second. Alexus even bites gently into my neck to silence himself through his release.

Colden doesn’t seem to care who hears us. He watches, no doubt seeing their pleasure dripping from my body, uttering the word fuck so many times that by the time he and Alexus finally slow and then still, Alexus and I can’t help but share a quiet laugh for our lover.

Still inside me, Colden lowers himself on trembling arms. We all lie there for a few minutes, embracing, unable to let go just yet.

“Are you happy?” Colden asks me. “You got your wish.”

A strange feeling settles inside me and my smile falls, my happiness beginning a slow unravel. Did this happen because they wanted it? Wanted me ? Or because I was careless with the barkeep’s magick and wished it upon them?

“Hey.” Alexus’s voice brings me back to them. “Where’d you go?”

I shake my head, trying to force away the thoughts, trying so hard to cling to this, to Colden and Alexus.

“I think another bath is in order, princess,” Colden says. “If you’re up to magick.”

I nod, unsure if I am just yet, though after a while, I’m soaking my sore body in a tub while Colden and Alexus bathe me with loving hands.

Soon after, Alexus carries me to the bed where Colden awaits, pulling back the covers. We lie together beneath the blankets, naked, the way I’ve dreamed about for so long. As Alexus curves his big body behind me, Colden nestles close in front of me, the two of them holding me and kissing me like a treasure.

Sleep calls, but before we give in, they claim me one more time, individually and without a wish. Alexus goes first, taking me gently from behind as Colden kisses me and touches me. Then it’s Colden’s turn. He lifts my leg over his hip and penetrates with carefulness, moaning when he feels Alexus’s release inside me.

When it’s over, none of us can speak, and sleep finally wins the battle. I’m the last to give in, held between two men I think I could be in love with. Two men I wish I could have like this for always.

Two men who aren’t meant for me. No matter how hard I wish otherwise.

Three days later, having left the tavern and wishes behind, we reach the icy village of Reede.

Before today, we shared one more night together in an outskirt inn, a night not created by a magickal wish. It healed a worry inside me, a fear that I’d taken something I had no right to take.

The truth is that Alexus and Colden did want me. They still do. But the union and bond between us isn’t enough. For Alexus, I’m not certain anyone will ever be enough, not until he finds the right person, a soul mate. As for Colden. I think he doesn’t really know what he wants, and that he simply won’t know until the answer hits him like a sledgehammer, probably unexpectedly, with someone he never would’ve imagined himself falling in love with.

As we ride into Reede, my glamour is up, as it will have to remain from here on. Brennan and Shannon Dulevia, the local bowyers and my contacts here, greet us, aware that the king and the Collector were set to bring a friend to Reede to set up residence. Brennan and Shannon and all else who stand nearby, wearing mounds of fur from head to foot, bow when Colden dismounts.

“Please, there’s no need for that,” he tells them, longing for anonymity. “We’d like to get Miss Anrova out of the cold and settled in her lodgings. It’s been a long trip.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” Brennan says as Alexus helps me from my horse. “It’s just this way.”

Groomsmen take our animals, and a few younger boys, unaware that they’re in the presence of a king, lug our heavy packs behind us as we walk the snow-laden road that meanders through the village. The wind is bitter, biting enough to sting the skin. I never much liked the cold, but this village is small and far enough away from Winterhold that I won’t be so tempted to return.

Because I can’t return. Ever.

Brennan stops at a tiny stone cottage where smoke already billows from the chimney and opens the door. We follow him inside to find a quaint, one-room home with the barest necessities: a hearth with a kettle, a bed with a few thick, woven blankets, a trunk for clothes, fur rugs spread about the floor, and a small table and single chair.

Though the cottage is warm, my stomach tightens into a cold knot. This is a home, but it isn’t my home. My home is with Colden and Alexus, and yet the more I’m with them, the more dangerous I realize things become.

Because I would do anything for them. I would turn myself inside out for them, blacken my soul if it meant keeping them safe. As much as I love them, and I know that what I feel is love, I can’t lose my goodness for them. And I would. I’ve felt it stirring inside me for a long time, had too many dreams of myself killing in their name.

Love, for some, can make them thrive. For me, it’s a threat. No, a promise. A promise that I will turn myself into the mightiest weapon, a weapon unleashed without restraint, for the men who have captured my heart.

A very young boy—struggling with one of my packs—stares at me with wide gray eyes.

“Joran,” Brennan snaps. “Stop ogling. Run along.”

Joran and the other boys drop our things and leave while Brennan lights an oil lamp and turns to face us, a broad smile splitting his dark beard. “If I can get you anything, Miss Anrova, I live three cottages down. Shannon will enjoy having a new friend here.”

I smile as warmly as I can. All I see in my future are lies to kind people, a life of secrecy, aloneness, and a longing that can never be filled.

Brennan leaves us, and I face Colden and Alexus. I knew this time would come, but it feels more difficult now.

They lower their hoods at the same time, their handsome faces pink from the cold.

“You don’t have to do this, Petra,” Alexus says. He said this to me a dozen times before we left Winterhold.

“We can get right back on our horses and go home,” Colden adds.

That word again. Home. Winterhold. With them.

I strip off my gloves and bite my lip to stop the tears that have formed from falling. “I need distance from you two. The future I saw for myself was bleaker if I stayed with you than if I left. I need you to understand that. That I’m doing this for more people than myself.”

War is coming. I don’t know when, but I’ve seen it. And I’ve seen myself in the middle of it, ripping apart minds until their owners are nothing but thoughtless husks. I cannot be that. I cannot use Loria’s blood to destroy what she made.

Colden shakes his head, still disbelieving in the war I feel the Northlands will eventually face, regardless of his treaty with the East.

“Well, there’s no changing your mind then?” he asks. “Even after…”

I look at them as his voice trails, my heart breaking, and close the small distance between us. With all the love I possess for them, I press my hands to their faces.

In that instant, with our barriers finally down, images flicker through my mind. I see Alexus with a beautiful, dark-haired woman donned in warrior’s armor, staring at her fierce face as though she is the universe itself. And I see Colden, clasping the face of a handsome man with hair like a raven’s feathers, looking into his eyes with so much love and longing it takes my breath away.

“No,” I whisper, my tears finally falling. “These last nights with you were the greatest gift. I will carry those memories with me always. But we have different paths. We must go and find them.” I lower my hands and glance around the cottage. “My new path begins here.”

Alexus steps close, tightens his hand at my waist, and draws me in for a kiss. He wants to want me the way I long for him to. Wants to love me enough that he would fight me before leaving me here alone. That’s the kind of love he will give the dark-haired woman.

The kind that allows no divide.

When he releases me, Colden takes his place, tugging me into an embrace. “We might be weeks away, and I know you don’t like to do it, but you’re welcome to speak into my mind any time. If you need us, all you have to do is call to me, and I will be here.”

I pull back and cup his face again, a smile managing to form on my lips. “I know,” is all I say. Not I will , because I won’t. I just can’t.

They stay for a while and help unpack my belongings. Alexus inspects every part of the cottage to make certain no repairs are needed, and Colden ices over a few tiny gaps in the stones from the outside, sealing off any chance of a draft. They check the firewood and the village food stores.

Salted fish. I’m going to be eating a lot of salted fish.

That afternoon, they finally gather their horses to leave. Standing in the bitter cold, they each hold my hands and look into my eyes as the villagers watch us with curious stares. No more kisses are shared. No more pleas for me to return with them are made. Alexus simply brushes his thumb across my cheek, his eyes glassy, and Colden squeezes my hand.

“You have a piece of my heart, princess,” he says. “Always.”

“And you, mine, my king.”

Sadness fills his eyes, enough that he rips his teary gaze away and mounts his horse. Alexus nods at me one last time and swings up onto his animal.

The pain that lances my heart as I watch them ride across the white plains and vanish is the most brutal wound Loria’s gift has ever brought upon me. Because if I’d just been born a normal girl, I could’ve been with them the way I desire, blissfully ignorant of futures I have the power to change.

In my cottage, I sit by the fire for a long time, absorbing the silence that will become my closest confidant. Alone, I stare out the single, small window, crying with an aching heart as I watch the falling night descend.

There truly is no darkness so great as a night sky over the Iceland Plains midwinter. Except the darkness I foresaw in my heart. The darkness that made me choose this life over one at Winterhold.

I can only pray to the Ancient Ones I made the right decision.