Chapter Eight

Justin was underneath a 1973 Triumph Stag putting the finishing touches on the new exhaust when he saw some familiar boots stop by the passenger side door. He said nothing, just waited to see what would happen.

"Hey, Joe! This is new, isn't it?" Rob yelled.

Joe poked his head out from the office. "What, the Triumph?"

"Yeah. This is beautiful. Rare, too. There were only like 2800 of these shipped to the U.S., weren't there? Looks like it's in relatively good shape."

Joe"s steps headed their direction from the office. Justin gave a few thoughts about fucking with the two men who were unaware of his presence beneath the car.

"Woman brought it in last week. It's got good bones, but it's been sitting for a long time. Needs new wiring, brake and fuel lines, and bearings. Has a few minor cosmetic dings, but we're just going to smooth them out and repaint. Interior needs new upholstery."

Justin watched as Rob's boots walked around the car; he stopped on the opposite side at the rear quarter panel right next to his head. He saw Rob squat down to inspect the wheels.

"Where the hell is Justin? He's supposed to be working on a new exhaust for this thing," Joe asked.

They had told Joe and Deb that he and Rob were dating a couple of weeks back. Rob"s folks had smiled and nodded. Justin figured the two of them had sniffed out clues about their new relationship status the day of the barbeque. It was nice having another haven where he and Rob could be a normal couple. It was a no-brainer that Joe and Deb would keep their secret. Hell, they'd been doing it for Rob for years.

"I haven't seen him since I came into the shop. I saw his car outside, though. Maybe he went to the bathroom or something," Rob responded.

That did it. He"d couldn"t let his golden opportunity to mess a little with Rob pass. He knew there was nobody else on this side of the shop. Reaching out his hand, he slid it up Rob's leg to cup his package while he was still squatting. He heard Rob groan, then try to cover it up with a cough as he kept talking to Joe.

Nothing to see here, folks!

"You know, I think I might have seen him walking toward the paint shop." Rob placed his hand on top of Justin's and pressed into the touch before he stood. "You want me to go look for him?"

"Nah, I'm sure he's around here somewhere. He knows what needs to be done tonight. Between you and me, Justin is a hardworking kid, and he does the best he can on what time he has available, but I've got orders coming in left and right. I think what I really need is another full-time guy, but I didn"t put enough money into the budget this year to pay them both. I don't know what I'm going to do. The kid needs the money and the cheap rent. I hate like hell to put him in a tight spot. Shit, I'm sorry. You don't need to be hearing this. It's not right for me to talk behind his back now that you two are friends. I'm taking off. It's taco night."

A minute passed before Rob challenged, "You sneaky little shit! Gonna come out of there now, so I can retaliate?"

Justin pushed himself out from the undercarriage and dusted off his jeans as he stood. He looked around the shop silently before taking a deep breath and releasing a loud sigh. Rob's hand settled on the small of his back.

"Hey, it'll be okay. We'll figure something out. Do you really need the extra income? I guess I've been figuring that you just liked working on the cars, and the extra money was a bonus."

Justin turned around and rubbed his hands up and down his face before massaging his temples. "I'll ask the division chief if I can pick up an extra shift at one of the other stations for a while until I can find another part-time job. They won't let me stay on overtime for long, though, so I'd better hit the classifieds tomorrow."

Rob glanced around, then took Justin"s hand and pulled him into the circle of his arms. "You didn't answer my question. Is the extra money a necessity or luxury?"

"Well, until I get my car and student loans paid off, I really need it. I still have one more year of payments on the car and two more years on the loans. After that, I'll probably be able to make do. It just depends on how much more Joe wants for rent." At Rob's confused look, he added, "That was part of our deal. He would give me a reduced price on the apartment if I worked down here part time. If I'm not working here, it only makes sense that he would charge me the normal amount for that much square footage. Believe me, it doesn't look like much, but for the space I have up there, I could pay four times what Joe is charging me."

"I don't understand. Shouldn't you be able to make your student loan payments long term, like twenty-five years? That's the way mine were."

Justin was glad he'd finished the installation before Joe and Rob had talked. All they had to do was attach the stainless-steel tips that would show beneath the bumper tomorrow. He wanted to get out of the shop for the night, so they locked up and headed upstairs to the apartment. Each grabbing a beer, they crashed on the sofa. He figured it was time he told Rob the entire story of why he left home.

"I guess it would make more sense if I told you why I had to fund my education the way I did before I tell you how. I mentioned I left home because I felt like I couldn't be my own person in that house. What I didn't say at the time was that my parents disowned me when I came out to them. Well, I didn't so much as come out as get caught in a way. I told you my parents are fanatical conservatives, but I guess a better description would be extremely fundamental Christians."

Justin explained that in the house where he'd grown up, his father treated his mother as little more than chattel, dictating her every move. He also mentioned how his father made him memorize verses of the Bible and would test him randomly. If he got the passage wrong, beating with his father's belt would be the punishment. They forbade speaking about homosexuality inside the house.

"One day, I was at a friend's house after school studying for our midterm exams. His parents and mine went to the same church, so it was an acceptable friendship. We were goofing around when we tussled on the floor. I got hard. Did my best to play it off like a natural reaction. We were sixteen. A stiff breeze could make me throw wood. Anyway… he told his parents, who told my parents. When I came home from school, the next day they were waiting for me in the dining room. They confronted me, and I tried the same tactic of nonchalance, but my father said that if I was a true Christian, I could suppress any physical reaction through prayer."

Justin stopped talking for a moment, the memories of that horrible evening too much. He got up from the sofa and walked over to the window. Looking out into the night sky, without seeing a single star, his mind traveled back in time.

"My father took me upstairs to my room. He closed the door. Told me to assume the position. With my pants and underwear around my ankles, I kneeled on the floor and bent over the edge of my bed. He came up behind me and ripped my shirt, exposing my back. He asked me if I found men attractive, if I fantasized about sex, if I ever masturbated. Each time I answered ‘no,' I was reminded of a situation where he felt he had proof otherwise and I received five lashes of his belt. I was reminded of the teachings. A good Christian would not seek physical pleasure. Sex was a tool for procreation. Above all, any sexual stimulation or act triggered or conducted with a person of the same sex constituted a violation of the sacred laws of the church and, therefore, was punishable by excommunication. According to my father, the tale of my deviancy was being spread around the congregation that evening at prayer group. He said it was his responsibility to set an example that such things would not be made light of."

He felt the tears pool in his eyes but refused to wipe them away. "I don't know how many times he hit me that night. I eventually passed out. When I came to, I was naked and lying in the grass at a park around the corner from the house. There was a note taped to my chest. It said, ‘you entered this world without a single possession, and we send you out with the same.'" He took a deep breath, knowing it was easier to say it all and be done with it.

"I walked to my grandmother's house that night, after stealing a pair of jeans off a laundry line. She lived on the other side of town. She had cut all ties with my mom years before, so I figured it was my best and only option. It took me a couple of weeks to heal physically. I struggled emotionally for a lot longer. I couldn't rid myself of the guilt—guilt for letting my parents down, guilt for feeling immoral desires and guilt for becoming a burden on an old woman who should enjoy her last years without drama. The turning point was when my grandmother fell. We were at her house, and she caught the toe of her shoe on the hallway runner. I was in the kitchen and heard her cry out when she hit the floor. I was so scared. Her head was bleeding because she"d knocked it on the banister, and although I knew she was trying to put on a brave face, pain radiated from her eyes. I called 911 and held her hand while we waited for someone to come."

"God, sweetheart. I can"t even imagine. I"m sorry you had to go through that."

Justin examined his reflection in the window. He wasn"t that terrified sixteen-year-old anymore. He"d survived his childhood and worked his ass off as an adult to get where he was. Logically, he knew his experiences shaped his character and gave him worth unmeasurable by tangible objects. He didn"t hear pity in Rob"s voice, and that was a blessing. Few knew his full story, because Justin never felt comfortable sharing. But he wanted Rob to know. He wanted to share the burden in life with the man who sat just a few feet away, but whose presence occupied more and more of Justin"s heart every day.

"It was the EMT who came to the house that day that not only saved Gram, but me, too. He started me not only on the path to my chosen profession, but helped me understand that being gay was not a deviancy. It was how God made me. If I believed God truly is omnipotent, then why fight the beauty of his creation?" He finally turned around and met Rob's gaze. "That EMT was Mike."

The next morning, Justin sat at the kitchen counter drinking his coffee when Rob came in to blend up one of his protein smoothies. Personally, he thought the things were nasty, but to each his own. He would stick with caffeinated arsenic.

When the blender finally shut off, Rob said, "So you never finished telling me about the student loan situation."

Looking up from the paper, Justin watched as a dribble of smoothie landed on Rob's chin and he wanted to get up and lick it off. They hadn't made love last night with everything else, and he was twitchy. Despite being horny, it meant the world to him that Rob had stayed the night before. Justin had slept warm and safe in his arms the entire night.

"Yeah, I kinda got off track, didn't I? It's nothing dramatic, but basically, I got my EMT-basic certification right out of high school. You're required to have work experience before applying to a paramedic program. So I started working at one of the private companies. When I had enough time accrued, I went for my associate's degree. I was still under twenty-five, and therefore they looked at my parents' income, even though I hadn"t lived at home in six years. When I moved in with Gram, I didn"t know there was such a thing as emancipation for minors. The financial aid person told me that according to their taxes, my parents still claimed me as a dependent, and they made too much money for me to get federal funding. I nearly threw up right there in her office. They"d tossed me out, literally with nothing on my back, but they reported to the government that I was under their care? Anyway, I had to go through a private loan company. The loan works basically the same way as when you finance a car. You have a certain number of years to pay it off at a specific interest rate. I had five years to pay down the loan after the completion of my program. The interest rate is ten percent from the day of enrollment, and my original loan amount was for $25,000."

"God, these student loan companies are sharks. How long do you have left on the loan?"

"Two years. After I have my car paid off, I'll have some more head room at the end of the month, but until then, things are pretty tight."

"Okay. So we need to find you another job where you can make an extra… what, 500 a month? You need to work evenings and not exhaust yourself to the point of hospitalization, right?"

"Yeah, that should do it," he figured after a moment.

"I'll put my ear to the ground and see if anyone's talking. You know I would offer to help you out, but I have the feeling you would turn me down," Rob said, smiling.

Justin got off the stool and gave into the temptation to lick the small spot on Rob's chin. He kissed him softly on the lips and wrapped his arms around the man he loved. "I appreciate the un-offer, but you're right. Besides, it's not like you're swimming in cash, anyway. You have your own expenses, and I'm sure training time is expensive."

"Sweetheart, that's what sponsors are for. For my own expenses, I rent a small house. I have no credit card debt. The only thing I pay on my car is for projects like the top, and I paid off my student loans last year."

"Yeah, but your only source of income is if you win a fight, which I know you do regularly, but it's not like getting a paycheck twice a month."

"True, but I brought home a little over three million last year." He gave Justin a kiss.

Justin's mouth must have looked like a Venus flytrap. He had no idea Rob made that kind of money. "So… what you're saying is you're a good catch."

"I'm an excellent catch. You don't plan on throwing me back, do you?" he said, smiling.

"Can I mount you on my wall?" Justin snickered.

"Baby, you can mount me anywhere you want."

They were both still laughing as they walked out the door.