Chapter Sixteen

Robert was bone-tired, having stayed a few extra days in Vegas to tie up all the loose ends of his former professional career. It was close to one in the morning when he pulled into the driveway at Justin and Kelly's house. Despite his sleep-deprived state, he noticed that all the lights were on.

That's odd. Even if Justin is waiting up for me, he wouldn't normally have all the lights in the house on.

He got out of the car and walked up to the front door. He got his key out, but noticed it was unlocked. Worry began to set in.

Pushing the door open, he called out, "Hello? J? Kelly? Your champion is home." He expected to see Justin running into the room and throwing himself into his arms but was met with silence. Looking around for a sign of what had gone down, he saw a note taped to the archway leading to the kitchen straight ahead.

Kelly in labor. Went to hospital.

He took the time to turn everything off and lock up before heading back into the night. Reaching for his cell to see why Justin hadn't called, he realized it was still in airplane mode from the flight. Damn! He switched the setting off.

Just got home and saw your note. I"m on my way!

Hurry! Something wrong!

He ran back to the car. His fingers fumbled for the ignition button but nothing happened. The dash blinked on, and a little message appeared. Key not detected. He tried again and same thing. "Fucking new cars with push buttons. I"ll show you a goddamn key! Stick it in your hole and turn it."

He took a deep breath and let it out. He put his foot on the brake, pushed the button and sighed with relief when the vehicle started. It wouldn"t do Justin or Kelly any good if he showed up to the hospital all agitated. Of course that didn"t stop him from spinning the wheels when his foot stomped on the accelerator.

He maneuvered in and out of the traffic lanes, determined to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. He didn"t know what was happening, but Justin"s text had him freaking out. Was it just new uncle nerves? The birthing classes tried to prepared Kelly and Justin, as her coach, for the possibility of needing to adjust her birthing plan. Traffic was barely crawling, and Robert seemed to hit every possible red light.

"What the hell. Is every licensed driver in Portland on the road tonight?"

A misty rain began to hit the windshield, and his automatic wipers swatted it away like a pesky fly. The exit for the hospital came up faster than Robert expected and he got a horn blast for his quick lane change.

"What? I had plenty of room. This bossy car didn"t yell at me or anything."

He got to the end of the exit ramp and waited for the light to turn. He saw the hospital looming against the skyline just a few blocks away. He picked up his phone and opened the message app.

Almost there. What"s happening?

I don"t know. They pushed me out of the room. I"m freaking out!

Hang on, baby. I"m two minutes away.

The light went from red to green and Robert set his phone back in the cupholder. He pressed the accelerator and went to turn the wheel to the left, but slammed on the brakes when the brightest pair of headlights blinded him only feet away.

"Holy shit!"

A white car streaked through the light, never even tapping the brakes. Robert"s heart slammed against his chest. "That was way too fucking close." The car behind him honked, and as much as he wanted to flip them off, he made his way through the intersection. The lights of the hospital towers served as a beacon in the dreary darkness.

He found a parking spot and ran into the main entrance. Labor and delivery was on the fourth floor. He rode up what had to be the slowest elevator on the planet. On the third floor, a couple got on, and the man came to a dead stop when he saw Robert.

"Hey, are you—"

The woman grabbed the man"s arm and shook her head.

"What? I was just asking—"

Something on Robert"s face must have clued the woman in that this was not the time. Robert was eternally grateful because as much as he appreciated fans and loved interacting with them, he just didn"t have any polite small talk in him right now. The elevator ding went off, and he ran out as soon as the doors opened. Looking right and left, he tried to find someone to direct him where to go. A nurse saw him in his state of obvious distress.

"Can I help you, sir?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm looking for my partner, Justin Floyd. I received a message that something has gone wrong while his sister was delivering her baby."

The nurse calmly escorted him to the desk to find out where he needed to go. She then walked him down to the glassed-in waiting area for families. When he saw Justin pacing, he ran toward him and gathered him in his arms.

"What's going on, baby?" Seeing the tears and anxiety in those beautiful brown eyes was heartbreaking.

"I don't know. They took her away. People were rushing and machines were beeping."

He saw the pleading in Justin's eyes to make it better and walked him over to a group of chairs. Kneeling in front of him, he gathered Justin's icy hands between his and rubbed them together to generate some warmth. "Okay, walk me through the night. It'll give you something to focus on."

"That's all I've been doing for the last half hour since they took her. Trying to figure out where we went wrong. I just don't see it. Hell, I've delivered more than one baby on my own. I've never had issues before."

"Sweetheart, that means it was nothing you did wrong. Now walk me through it."

"Okay… Kelly felt labor pains about six hours ago. At first, they were very mild, and we clocked the contractions. Her water broke at nine-thirty tonight. That's when we left to come here. Everything was going smoothly until she went into transition around midnight. The monitors showed that the baby's heart rate kept dropping during contractions. The nurse monitored it for the next several minutes. When it showed no sign of improving, they wheeled her back for an emergency caesarian."

Robert stood as Justin began to pace again. He wanted to hold his love but could see that right now the man needed to move.

"The surgery, while nerve-wracking, isn't the problem, though. About ten minutes after they wheeled her back, one of the delivery nurses came out and said there had been some complications in the delivery and told me to sit tight. I asked what happened, and she said they were working on it." He turned around and looked at Rob, who was watching him intently. "That's when I got your text message." He walked over and flopped down into the chair.

Robert sat next to Justin and reached for his hand. Threading their fingers, he squeezed in support.

"Nobody's talking to me. I don't know if there are problems with the baby or Kelly or what."

He could see the fear in Justin's eyes and wished there was something he could do to help him, some way he could magically get the answers Justin sought or make the situation better. Justin and Kelly were so excited about the arrival of Wiggles. They'd decorated the nursery, filled it with plush toys and all the equipment for bringing home the baby.

Robert felt Justin tense and saw him looking toward the door to the waiting area. Turning his head, he saw two tired-looking doctors in scrubs walking their direction. He and Justin stood up together and held hands. The doctors entered the room and gestured for them to sit back down. Robert recognized Dr. Allin as being Kelly's obstetrician, but the other was unfamiliar to him.

"Justin, I'd like you to meet Dr. Maynard. He's a neurosurgeon on staff here at the hospital," Dr. Allin said.

Robert heard Justin's soft exclamation of ‘Oh God.' Robert clasped his hand tighter, trying to transfer whatever strength he had in reserve.

"I'm afraid that there were complications during your sister's surgery. Shortly after they put her under anesthesia, her blood pressure plummeted. We stabilized her enough to perform the surgery, and I delivered your niece. Fortunately, the baby is okay. The cord being wrapped around her neck caused the drops in heart rate we saw. Once we got her out safely, her vitals improved, and her five-minute Apgar scores were normal. I'm sorry to tell you that your sister has not been so fortunate. The sudden and unrecoverable drop in blood pressure caused a massive stroke. I called Dr. Maynard in to consult on her condition. I'll let him explain the situation further."

"We believe an allergic reaction to the anesthesia triggered the sudden decrease in your sister"s blood pressure. As Dr. Allin said, this caused a severe stroke."

Robert frowned. "I thought really high blood pressure caused strokes?"

"That is more common, but when blood pressure drops rapidly, it causes a decrease in blood flow to the brain, and the stroke is a secondary event. Her reaction to the anesthesia was unanticipated. She had no risks in her medical history. The chances of this happening are exceedingly rare."

"Is she…"

"Right now, she"s in a coma." He looked at Justin and sighed. "I"ve ordered an EEG."

"Oh, my God. I can"t believe this is happening," Justin whispered.

Robert knew this wasn"t good. Those tests were used to check for brain activity. He knew of a few fighters that were undergoing treatment and research studies for post-concussion syndrome. An EEG was the test that was used to make a diagnosis. If the neurologist had ordered one for Kelly, he obviously wanted to rule in or rule out brain damage. Right now, Robert wasn"t sure which was the lesser evil.

"How long before we know something?" Robert asked.

"About an hour."

A whole goddamn hour?

Justin numbly stood and held out his hand to each man. "Thank you, Dr. Allin, for saving my niece." Turning to the other physician, he nodded his head. "Please let me know my sister's condition as soon as possible."

Rob guided him back into the chair. Justin heard his voice, but couldn't understand what he was saying. His entire existence had shrunk down to two simple words, ‘brain-dead.' The neurologist hadn"t said those exact words, but Justin knew. There was only one reason to order an EEG for a stroke patient. It was unfathomable to him how someone whose eyes constantly sparkled with vitality could possibly be brain-dead.

His mind turned back in time and ran on a loop of memories. Playing tag in the park behind their house. Covering for each other when they'd wanted to go to a friend's house after school. The times when he would protect her from lashings because of some chore not completed correctly. The day before he left home had been her birthday. That day he took her to the park and gave her a huge handmade card. His parents never allowed store-bought gifts. Birds scattered when he sang "Happy Birthday" as loud and off-key as he could. The smile on her face that day could have lit up the playground at night. He remembered the day at the restaurant when he'd hugged her for the first time in twelve years, and the trip to the doctor's office where they'd seen the first images of her baby on the sonogram.

"Oh, my God… the baby! I have a niece. What"s going to happen to the baby if Kell doesn"t make it?"

Robert took Justin"s hand. "We will take this one step at a time. Don"t count your sister out yet. She"s strong. Both of you are to have made it this far in life and be successful."

Part of him knew Robert was right. But his brain was jumping through about twenty different scenarios, and in at least half of them, his niece would never experience the loving embrace of her mother.

If he just sat and waited for news, he"d go insane. Justin needed to make contingency plans just in case the worst happened. He would have to find out if he could get custody. But what if Rob wasn't ready for a child? It wouldn't matter. Justin had to do it. He had to protect Kelly's daughter. There was no way he would allow her to be sent into the foster care system when he was more than willing to raise her himself. He had made some contacts in Social Services through the fire department. Maybe he could pull some strings.

Rob placed a cup of coffee in his hands, and Justin took a sip. The warm brew was sweeter than he usually took it. He looked over at Rob.

"Thought you could use a little pick-me-up."

He tried to smile, but his lips quivered instead of arched.

Rob wrapped his arms around Justin. "I"ve got you, baby. Let it out if you need to."

Wetness streaked down his cheeks, and he leaned against Rob. Justin did not know what time it was, but figured dawn wasn"t far away. Maybe he should see if he could find the nursery and visit his niece. When Kell woke up, he"d have to ask her what name she"d finally picked. They quietly sipped their coffees. Occasionally, a nurse would pass by them, and one time chimes rang overhead, signaling new life.

Robert nudged Justin, and he pointed down the hall. Justin turned and saw the neurosurgeon coming back. The cold dregs of his coffee soured on his tongue and nausea rolled up from his stomach. There was only one reason a physician ever had that expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Floyd, but the test results showed no brain activity. Your sister is no longer with us."

His legs crumpled, and Robert caught him. Coffee spilled across the floor, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a wail.

"Kelly is in the ICU. When… when you"re ready to say goodbye."

Robert rocked him like a baby as gut-wrenching sobs racked his body. Justin eventually got himself under control enough that he could maintain the grip on the tissues someone placed in his hand. He blew his nose and looked up to find tears streaming down Robert"s face. His boyfriend cried silently while he held Justin on the floor of the hospital hallway. He did not know how long they remained on the floor, trying to comfort each other. Nothing really made a difference. Nothing really took away the pain, but, being together, at least they could share it.

When the tears finally ceased for a moment, Justin looked up. "What do we do now? I guess I should call my parents? I mean… I know what they told her… but now… she's really gone. They would want to say goodbye, right?"

"I hope so. Do you want me to stay here or give you some privacy?"

"Would you mind? Just a moment. It's not that I don't want you. It's just…"

He leaned down and kissed Justin softly. The moment their lips touched, all the emotions of the past week coalesced, and each of them grabbed onto the other. Their lips remained locked, touching, needing each other. He buried his fingers in Rob"s hair. Rob latched onto the back of Justin"s neck. They couldn't seem to let go, didn't want to break the only positive connection.

"I love you, Justin. So very, very much. We'll work this out together, I promise."

"I love you, too. I know I haven't said anything yet, but I am so unbelievably proud of you. Your speech, your fight. I don't even have the words right now." He petted Rob's face and chest as they remained slumped on the floor against the chairs in the waiting area.

"Not important. What is, is we go assure Kelly that we're going to raise her daughter the very best way we can. Maybe even ask the nurses if there"s a chance for them to meet each other?"

"Oh God!" Justin threw his arms around Rob's neck and held on as tight as he could. "I wasn't sure you'd… I didn't know how to tell you I intended…"

"Oh, baby." Robert's chest kept hurting with all the pain and uncertainty emanating from Justin. "Of course we're going to raise her. I wouldn't ever allow her to be taken from you or force you to choose between us. Besides, I've always wanted a little girl to spoil rotten."

Justin took a deep breath. "Okay… call parents… go get the baby, and say goodbye to Kell."

Justin dialed his parents" home number on his cell phone. He waited with bated breath for them to pick up. It was now almost four o'clock in the morning, a time nobody wanted to receive a phone call. A sleepy masculine voice barked out, "Hello?"

"Mr. Floyd?"

He knew if he asked for ‘dad,' the man would hang up on him.

"Yes, who is this?"

"I'm calling to let you know your daughter is at Providence Medical Center in Portland, Oregon."

"I don't have a daughter. Goodbye."

Before the man could hang up, he yelled, "Dad, don't you hang up!" He heard another extension being picked up. "Listen to me, you self-righteous son of a bitch. Kelly suffered a massive stroke giving birth to your granddaughter. They declared her brain-dead. If you want any opportunity to say goodbye or to see the baby, you get your ass in the car and drive to Portland as fast as you can. I'm taking my niece, and my partner and I are going to raise her. If you turn your back now, you will never... I repeat, never... have the opportunity to see her again."

"I do not have any children," the emotionless voice responded.

Justin looked at his phone and saw the call was no more. He knew in his heart that it wasn"t a matter of a cell tower dropping the signal or interference from too many machines in the hospital. He calmly put the phone in his pocket. Several of the nurses were looking in his direction. They must have heard him yelling into the phone. He walked into the closest men's room, thankful to find it empty at this early hour of the morning. Standing in the narrow space between the sinks and stalls, he closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. When that didn't work, he took out his phone, intending to text Rob, but the moment he looked at the screen, a rage unlike anything he"d experienced overtook him. Releasing a primal roar, he threw it against the far wall, dispassionately watching as it shattered into dozens of small pieces.

He heard the door slam open and saw, in the mirror, Rob standing in the doorway. Justin vibrated with such rage and anger. He wanted to take that very strap his father used to whip him and beat the living shit out of the old man. How could he? How could he throw away his children and grandchild like week-old garbage? He started slamming the stall doors open one by one.

Strong arms imprisoned Justin"s arms and torso like an anaconda. Justin continued to fight and struggle, desperately wanting to destroy anything in his path. Rob held him still, allowing him to fight against him but not escape his hold. Justin trusted Rob not to let go, knowing if he did, something irrevocable would happen. After a while, the jerks and pulls stopped. His breath heaved in and out like he'd run a marathon. They needed no words. Rob knew what had happened.

When the tension left Justin's body, he calmly asked, "Are you ready to go?"

Justin nodded, and they left the restroom together.

They made their way through the corridors, following signs until they found the nursery. Justin used his wristband to badge his way through the door. "I"m here to see… " He looked over at Rob. "She needs a name."

"Let"s get to know her. A name will come to us."

The nurse standing near a bassinet nodded. "She"s going to be with us for a few days. There"s time. You just have to complete the birth certificate form before her discharge."

Justin took Rob"s hand and led him toward a sink where they washed their hands. He then turned and looked over the room full of tiny humans. This was a second-level nursery, which meant their doctors recommended they didn"t room with their mothers. It was obvious why his niece had been placed here. Justin saw the little pink sign that read Baby Girl Floyd.

He pointed to the back corner of the room. "There she is."

Joy and sorrow swamped him when they got their first look. "She's so beautiful. Just like her mother."

Robert looked over at the nurse. "Can we hold her?"

"Please do. She needs to bond with her parent. Have a seat in the rocking chair and I"ll bring her over."

Obviously, the nursery had been made aware of the situation. He reached for his niece and sucked in a breath as soon as he held the tiny bundle in his arms. Kelly had created and nurtured this life inside her. The baby was so swaddled in her little pink blanket and stocking cap that all he could really see was her little, round face. It was still pink and wrinkly. He gently caressed the soft skin of her cheek with one finger, watching as her nose bunched and lips pursed. He leaned his head in, smelled that new-baby smell, and instantly fell in love. Transferring her carefully, he placed her in Rob's arms, the difference between her petite size and his large one almost comical.

"Hi, baby girl. I"m your uncle Justin, and this is Rob. He"s kinda famous, but I"m counting on you to keep his ego in check."

Rob rolled his eyes. "Don"t listen to him. I"m just a local gym owner. Nobody special."

Justin shook his head. "You"re special to us. In fact, aside from this little angel, you"re my everything."

Rob leaned over and kissed Justin. "That"s all I"ll ever need."

Rob looked down at the baby. Amazement shining in his eyes, the innocence of new life protected in his powerful arms.

"Sweetheart, look, she's opening her eyes," Robert whispered. "I bet they're going to be rich, chocolate brown. Just like yours and Kelly's."

"Excuse me? I don't mean to intrude, but are you planning on taking custody of the little angel?"

He examined the nurse for any hint of disapproval and put his hand around Rob's waist. "Yes, ma'am."

"It makes me so happy to see two people in love accept the gift of new life. Especially when it's unexpected like this. I have a good feeling that you'll be able to teach that to the little one here."

Rob put the baby back in Justin"s arms, and he snugged her close. He looked over at his partner. "What do you think of the name Arabella?"

"I love it. How about Arabella Michele?"

Justin rolled the name around in his brain a few times and smiled. "I think it"s perfect."

Robert looked at the nurse. "Would you please see that her name gets put on her bassinet?"

"Sure, honey. I want you to know that I talked to my supervisor, and she said that, if you would like, one of our nurses can escort you down to the ICU with Arabella, when you say goodbye to your sister. Normally, the babies can't leave this hallway, but these are extenuating circumstances."

"Thank you."

They had just passed through the doors to the ICU when Justin saw the bed where Kelly was resting. It was all he could do to continue putting one foot in front of the other. When he came up to the bed, he noticed they still had the ventilator attached. The device was artificially filling Kelly's lungs and keeping her heart beating. She was so still and quiet. It was at that moment, he truly realized she was gone. This was not his sister lying there. His sister had been full of life, energy, and love.

A doctor came in and cleared their throat. "I know this is a very difficult time, and I"m truly sorry for your loss. We noticed in Kelly"s admission papers that she"d indicated the desire to be an organ donor in the event of her death. There are dozens of people who lives could be positively impacted by your sister. If there is any way—"

"Yes. Absolutely. If it was Kelly"s wish and if some part of her passing can save another life, then please do whatever you can to honor that."

The doctor smiled. "Thank you. I can"t imagine what you"re going through right now."

Justin swallowed. "I hope you never have to." He brought Arabella up to his lips and kissed the baby"s forehead. Rob wrapped his arms around the two of them, and they stood in silence for a moment.

The doctor went through what would happen the moment they turned off the machines, and Justin listened with half an ear. He didn"t really need to hear the details, but he understood the medical team needed to prepare them as best as they could.

"We will give you some time to say farewell. Again, thank you and I"m sorry."

Justin stepped out of Rob"s arms and walked over to Kelly"s bed. He carefully placed Arabella in the crook of Kelly's arm, making sure to support her. "Kell, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Arabella. Bella, this is your mommy. She loved you very much and desperately wanted to share her life with you. Kelly, I know you would have made a wonderful mother, and I'm sure you'll be looking down on Rob and me from time to time. If you have any tips along the way, we sure would appreciate them."

He heard Rob chuckle softly. He picked up the baby and handed her to Rob. Justin reached over and smoothed Kelly's hair away from her face. "I love you, Kelly. I will never forget you. I promise to teach Bella everything about you. Well, maybe not everything. I don't want to encourage any mischievousness she inherits from you. Go in peace, little sister."

Justin leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead, then signaled to Rob that he could say his goodbye. He held one hand while Rob took Kelly's cool, delicate hand in his other one.

"Kelly, I didn't know you all that long, just a short handful of months. In that time I came to love you as I would a natural sister. I am so glad you could reconnect with your JJ. You brought the light out in each other. You remember that promise I gave you the day we met? I have every intention of keeping it. It breaks my heart to see you leave, but thank you for gifting us with your daughter. Goodbye, sweet Kelly."

The doctor came over, and at Justin's nod, they turned off the ventilator and cardiac support. A few moments later, a sustained tone filled the air around them and Kelly Floyd was gone.

Justin and Rob made their way back to the nursery. Afternoon light shone through the windows. The last three days had been some of the hardest of his life, but today they were bringing Arabella home. He and Rob had talked for hours about how they wanted to move forward. Justin received word from the donation team that Kelly"s major organs had already saved eight lives, and there was the potential to enhance up to seventy more. There was a tiny part of him that found comfort in knowing Kelly lived on, just differently.

They saw a woman with a folio standing in front of the nursery doors. Justin nodded. "Excuse us."

"Good evening, Mr. Floyd, Mr. Lansing. My name is Virginia Garner, and I'm with the Department of Human Services. I want to express my condolences for your loss. While I am sympathetic that this is a difficult and emotional time, I need to state that I am here to see that your sister's daughter's needs are being met with her best interest in mind."

He and Rob both froze, and tension tightened every muscle in his body. Ms. Garner took a step back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If he went off the deep end, it would not help the situation.

"Ms. Garner, I appreciate the fact that you are doing your job, and I appreciate you want what is best for my niece. However, I also know that the nursing staff have informed you of Rob's and my intention to raise Arabella. I cannot comprehend why you think there is a possibility that her needs will be better served in a crowded foster system rather than with two loving parents, one of whom is a direct blood relation to her mother."

There. That's eloquent, direct, and somewhat polite.

"Mr. Floyd. Maybe there"s be a misunderstanding. I'm not here to take Arabella away from you. I apologize if that was the impression I gave. My sole intention in meeting you here today was to assess whether you truly wanted your niece or were taking her out of a sense of duty. Neither myself nor the state of Oregon have any problems with gay couples raising and adopting children, if that home provides a loving and nurturing environment."

"Then I, too, apologize, Ms. Garner. It"s been a very long few days, and in a tiny corner of my mind, I"ve been expecting some eventual bureaucratic resistance. My fists came up, and I immediately went on the defensive." He gave her a weak smile. "I didn't know what would happen today. If it makes a difference to you, I brought a notarized copy of Kelly's will stating that I am Arabella"s guardian. In addition, she gave her blessing for Rob and me to raise her daughter together should something happen to her."

"Then that is all we need. If I can have a copy of the will, I'll make sure to note everything in my report. Again I'm sorry you had to lose a sister to gain a daughter. Take care of each other."

He released a huge breath when the social worker walked away. He turned to Rob and smiled. "We have a daughter. Why don't we find the doctor so we can take her home?"