10. Elias

Chapter 10

Elias

"Do you want to know how many phone calls I've gotten today from your family?" Victor walked in right after the closing bell of the stock market and plopped down on the chair across from my desk. "I know I originally traded them for that weird family that keeps trading spouses but I want to renegotiate."

Bullshit...and I was going to prove it.

"The older two brothers traded again and I've got to redo every account and work with their lawyer to equally divide the estate again if one of them dies." Some families were just weird and some were weird pains in the asses.

"Ugh, not it." Frowning, Victor looked toward the door he'd just closed. "There has to be someone in the bullpen we can pawn your family off on."

There were worse ideas.

"They just have to be willing to take the calls. I don't let them make financial decisions anyway. The drama queens only want to complain." And it was always something new. "Did my grandfather redo his will again?"

He was older than dirt and had turned fucking with the family into an art form.

Barking out a laugh, Victor shook his head. "No, that's next week if ‘that bastard's brat' doesn't stop sleeping with the interesting new lady he just brought home."

Judging by the look on Victor's face, I wasn't going to ask what made her interesting.

"Then what's the problem this week?" My lack of curiosity about my family's shenanigans had him pouting, but he moved on fairly quickly.

"You. They want to know who the mouthy guy is."

And now I understood why Victor had given up so quickly…he had fun gossip to play with.

"Great." I'd hoped to have a bit more than two days but it couldn't be helped after Amadeus's performance the other night. "What have they been asking and what did you tell them?"

"That I don't know anything and the market is up." Victor grinned, clearly having fun fucking with the idiots. "Okay, let's see if I can remember the highlights. I should've made a better list."

He was probably serious about the list, so I waited patiently as he checked off the ones he remembered on his fingers. "One aunt, I've lost track of that side of the family with all the C names. It's painful. But one of the older women on that side, Candy or Cassy or someone like that, wanted to know where to hire a hooker. She's confused about the process but didn't seem to be deliberately being rude about the job title."

Lord.

"Two different cousins wanted to make sure you weren't paying too much because they've clearly figured out how to find individuals in that line of business." Victor shook his head. "Another couple of cousins called to make sure you weren't spending their inheritance. They seem to be convinced the plan is to divide up your estate if you get hit by a bus."

When I just raised one eyebrow, he shrugged. "One said bus. The other said falling airplane toilet. I'm not sure what their search history looks like but I don't think you have to worry about anyone being smart enough to hire a hit man."

No, but they could find other types of professional help.

"My assistant took one where your mother seemed to be asking if you'd gotten married." The asshole grinned when I groaned. "She's not as dumb as the rest of your family."

Yep, he was an asshole.

"I'm lucky you weren't the one to take that call." He'd have laughed and then the crazy would've taken another interesting turn.

"I know." He was already snickering just thinking about it. "She'd have heard too much in my voice."

Arguing that there wasn't anything to hear would've just made me look guilty, so I ignored his fishing expedition. "I knew Amadeus couldn't keep his mouth shut but he must've activated some kind of gossip phone tree."

Victor grinned. "He started right at the top and called your grandfather's housekeeper."

Well, that explained a few things.

"She's a pain in the ass." But she took care of the old fart and they'd been secretly in a relationship since his third wife had died.

Half the family was in the dark and the other half was ignoring the disturbing age difference, but I was going to just avoid learning anything else about their sex life.

"She was very excited to be able to get the good stuff first and evidently Amadeus started there because he wanted your grandfather to know that you were making questionable decisions with your finances and the family restaurants." Victor was nearly giggling.

His love of gossip was as passionate as the rest of the crazies, which was the reason he'd taken over handling those accounts to begin with. I didn't like gossip but I also didn't mind ignoring what questionable families did as long as it didn't end up with me on some kind of FBI watch list.

Some people made me feel very boring.

"So…" He waved his hand, settling back in his seat again. "I've been patient and didn't even bug Dally for details."

"You traded numbers with him?" I shouldn't have been surprised.

"Of course, but he's been busy with work and we haven't had a chance to trade stories. So I need something good to be able to one-up him." Crossing his arms, Victor glared at me. "Milo shares more than you do and I'm going to come in second if I'm not careful."

Maybe I attracted insanity and it wasn't just my family?

"Let me think." I knew to pick my battles with Victor and I wanted to make sure he kept taking my family's calls. "Milo probably told Dally about the restaurant and the significance. He was very proud of being accused of being a prostitute, so he definitely shared that one."

Just thinking about our date and his friendship with Dally made me realize there wasn't anything he hadn't shared and Dally probably already knew how big my dick was. The way Victor's face was settling into a frown meant he'd realized that too.

"You can tell Dally that I'm planning on picking Milo up from work so I can talk him into coming back to my place." Yes, it was fast, and yes, I was probably going to smother him. "He gets off at seven, and as long as he doesn't safeword, I'm going to spend the evening with him."

And hopefully the night and morning.

Victor broke out in an ear-to-ear grin. "I win!"

He'd lost his mind.

"I've got to go text him before he finds something better." Nearly jumping out of the seat, Victor bounced to the door like a kid after too much candy. "Oh, and call your grandfather so he knows you didn't elope. He wants to walk you down the aisle."

For fuck's sake.

"Oh, it's like a scene from Pretty Woman ." Milo's sighed-out description said he'd already told Dally about the run-in at dinner. "I'd be the best prostitute ever."

But it was the way his face scrunched up that made me curious.

"I don't know if that's a rude word. I don't have any friends who are in that line of work. I wasn't that kind of broke." Dally must've said something fascinating back because Milo shrugged. "Government assistance and looking cute."

There were different kinds of poor?

No…there was no way to ask that without sounding like a dick, so I decided to keep that question to myself.

"Yeah, leaning against a fancy car and everything." Pausing, Milo shrugged again and I started to wonder if he knew Dally couldn't see him. "I don't know. Big but not an SUV. Some kind of fancy sedan?"

He was trying to kill me.

"He's pouting. So it's expensive and I'm supposed to know what it is." Nodding to whatever Dally had said, Milo shrugged once more. "I've always worked clothing retail, not cars. His watches are incredible, though."

Okay, that was better.

"And now he's happy again. Okay, I'm hanging up because my prince is here and if I keep talking, he's going to end up frowning again." Milo giggled. "Cars. I know. Yep. Bye."

Disconnecting the call, he pretended to cross his arms and glare at me. "You're my surprise. He's been blowing up my phone with weird texts for the last hour."

"That's not technically my fault." I wasn't taking all the blame for it. "Victor needed better gossip to one-up Dally and we both knew that you'd already told him everything. So I had to help Victor. He'd been tortured enough today. I couldn't let him lose the gossip war."

Milo did his best to roll his eyes and look like it was a ridiculous idea. "I did not tell him everything."

Bullshit.

He managed to keep a straight face for about three seconds. "Just most things."

Now that, I believed.

"So you see why I had to help poor Victor?" There was no way around it. Eventually, I was going to have to end up buying Milo a private plane just so Victor didn't always lose. "You should be grateful that I didn't do something more dramatic."

Cocking his head, Milo stepped closer. "What would be more dramatic?"

Before I could come up with a good response, he straightened, looking startled. "Wait. Pretty Woman pose. Fancy car. Big house. You have a housekeeper, don't you? You're not cleaning those toilets."

I fully admitted to not following the logic that got us there, but I nodded. "It didn't come up before."

Sighing, he shook his head. "Well, at least I can tell them that I'm not going to be your maid."

"Who?" Finally giving up on him greeting me properly on his own, I straightened and stepped closer. "Come here. You're too far away. I'm not the chauffer. You're supposed to say hello to me and greet me appropriately. I'm your Daddy."

There had to be rules for that kind of thing.

Giggling, he made a piss-poor attempt at looking apologetic as he pressed himself against my chest and smiled. "Sorry, Daddy. Hi. It's nice to see you."

"Hello, it's nice to see you, too." Still pouting because it was making him smile, I kept my hands high enough not to shock anyone walking by. "Now, who was asking if you're a maid?"

I wasn't sure if I'd missed a conversation he had with Dally or if it was something weirder.

Milo shrugged. "The people who keep calling?"

Something weirder.

My brain actually stopped working for a second before Milo patted my cheek. "It's okay, Daddy. Not everyone has a sane family. Not everyone has a family."

"Mine is not sane." Wait. Who didn't have a family? "Aren't you some kind of cousin to Dally?"

Milo blinked. "No. His family kind of adopted me when I was young and living next door in a foster home. Even when I got moved to a new home, Dally kept me and his parents just followed along, making me as much a part of the family as they could."

Foster care.

Things started to come together but I nodded and kissed his forehead. "That makes sense. But yes, mine are the crazy kind and they've completely lost the plot. I was going to warn you about that, though. Honestly. I just thought I had more time."

I hadn't.

Milo was doing his best to take it seriously but his grin was peeking out. "Did you know it's terrible that you want me to be your live-in maid? Oh, but according to the pictures they saw, I'd be cute in a skirt."

What?

Pictures?

A giggle escaped as I just stood there dumbfounded. "My favorite was the voicemail where a couple of women wanted to know where to buy a prostitute."

Head cocking, Milo continued before my brain could catch up. "But wouldn't that be rent? I mean, they're not planning on keeping anyone, are they?"

"At this point, I don't know but I will have someone watch them more closely." I was taking that cost out of their inheritance, though. "Victor has explained several times that you are not for sale in any way."

Brows pulling together, Milo frowned. "Is he as bossy as Dally?"

"Yes, but in this case, he actually handles all the phone calls from my family and I took some of his clients that were driving him insane." Milo blinked, probably wondering what kind of crazy could beat my family's interesting brand. "It works out well because I don't care what weird strangers are doing and he loves all the gossip my family provides. They're good distractions."

"I always thought rich people had great lives but yours is kind of weird." Once the words came out and I was doing my best not to laugh, he blinked. "Oh, that was rude. Sorry, Daddy."

I got a cheek kiss but I shook my head. "Nope, this sorry needs to involve a grown-up kiss since you're currently big. If I let you move, I'm going to have little Milo asking for chicken nuggets and dessert."

His giggle said I was right, but he tried to hold it back. "No. I'm very grown-up and…and I wanted pasta for dinner?"

Raising one eyebrow, I gave him a skeptical look. "You wanted cut-up spaghetti that you call something cute."

"You're really smart." He tried to kiss my cheek again, but he blinked. "Oh, I do that a lot. Okay, big boy kiss time."

And he was already slipping into his little headspace.

"That's right. Then we can play or have dinner." He was getting off at a weird time, so I wasn't sure if he'd eaten or not. "My only plan is to keep you tonight, so everything else is flexible."

He wanted to laugh but he held it inside and nodded. "I understand."

That worked for me as consent.

"Kisses for Daddy." His headspace was questionable but he puckered up his lips and brushed them against mine. "Thank you for coming to keep me, Daddy."

"You're welcome." Stealing one more kiss as I tightened my hold on him, I nibbled and deepened it just enough to brush my tongue against his. When he moaned, I pulled back and grinned. "Thank you for my kiss."

Milo nodded, already looking more innocent. "Daddy likes kisses."

"That's right. So I'm going to get lots once we get home." We just needed to figure out which home that would be.

So maybe there were a few more details besides just keeping him that we needed to work out.