9. Parker

9

Snow?

I blinked a few times as I looked out the window, not really understanding what I was seeing.

How could it be snowing right now?

I'd heard of weather being more temperamental at higher elevations, but this had completely taken me by surprise. A part of me wondered if I was somehow still asleep, the snow a figment of my imagination that would disappear as soon as I tried to touch it. Another part of me wondered if this would be the thing to cut my trip short; if it hadn't been for the fire, an unexpected night of snow may have ruined my dry cabin plans.

A few moments later and I was taken out of my thoughts by the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through the morning air. I was still in Nicholas' bedroom, doodling in my journal as I went back and forth about actually documenting my time spent with him so far. Although it was less about writing something down and more about not knowing what to write.

It was one thing to lie to myself but another to lie to my journal.

Frustrated enough for one morning, I set my journal aside as I finally got out of bed for the day. I made my way down the hall, pushing away thoughts that were threatening to crowd my brain. It'd been like that since hooking up with Nicholas in the woods yesterday, the intimacy of it playing over and over again despite my attempts to make it stop.

And yet, all I was able to think about were the butterflies that erupted from my stomach when he held me, the way I never wanted to leave his arms…

I cursed under my breath, annoyed with myself beyond belief. It was one thing to have my mind blown by hooking up with Nicholas, it was another thing entirely to crave that kind of close connection with him, to want to break down the walls of practical and spend the whole night pressed close to his chest.

Fuck.

I wanted him. I really, really wanted him.

But I didn't want to fuck up what we had, either, even if it was so much less than I really wanted.

"Did you sleep okay?" Nicholas' voice greeted me as I stepped into the kitchen, one of his hands swirling bits of egg around in the pan.

"Yeah. I slept okay," I replied, even though it was only half-true. I'd struggled to get to sleep with Nicholas next to me, every part of me yearning for him to fuck me, kiss me, touch me, claim me. He hadn't made another move after we came back from our hike, which I knew was perfectly normal but couldn't deny that the butterflies had taken it as a slight against me.

How dare he?

Didn't he want me as much as I wanted him?

"I slept pretty okay, too." He flashed me a smile as he finished with the eggs, sliding them onto a separate plate. "Hiking always helps with that. Uses up so much energy that you can't wait to just pass out once your head hits the pillow."

I flashed a smile right back at him, quietly wondering if he'd added that detail about being low on energy to explain away his lack of touching me last night. "Did you see that it snowed?"

"Oh, yeah." He chuckled as he shook his head. "Came out of nowhere but that's no surprise. It wouldn't be the first time we had a random snowstorm up here. I know it looks like a lot but don't be too alarmed. Usually, by the next day, it's gone again. Never seems to stick for too long?—"

Nicholas' response was interrupted by his phone ringing. He quickly answered it, holding it up to his ear. "Hello?"

I watched as his features shifted from serious to absolutely delighted by something, his lips eventually curving into another smile. "That sounds good to me. What time were you thinking about heading out?"

Nicholas silently nodded before wrapping up his phone conversation. "All right. We'll see you out there."

He placed his phone back down on the kitchen island before grabbing for a plate of his own. I watched as he evenly divided the bacon and eggs, sliding a plate over toward me.

"What was that about?" I asked, grateful for the breakfast, my fork already invading the plate. "You making plans with some of your friends for later?"

"Even better." He smirked. "Apparently, with the snowstorm, a few of the guys are taking the day off, barring any emergencies."

"Got it. So, you're all going to hang out?"

"We're all going to hang out," Nicholas corrected, with another smirk. "Including you. You're coming, too."

"Coming to do what?"

Nicholas leaned toward me, with his eyes now locked on mine. "How do you feel about snowmobiles?"

I'd never ridden a snowmobile in my life.

Still, that hadn't stopped me from agreeing to join Nicholas and his firefighter buddies out on the snowy mountainside, despite my complete lack of knowledge and potential to end up dead or hurt or something worse. I took a deep breath as I looked around the rolling, white banks, imagining the million ways there were for things to go very, very wrong for me.

I then spared a look down at my outfit, slightly shifting on my feet as discomfort made its way up my spine. It wasn't that the clothes themselves were uncomfortable, they were just so far off from being something I would've typically worn. I'd stopped in town with Nicholas to pick something up for the mountain and now I looked like some kind of pro athlete with way too expensive shoes and way too expensive gear.

Ugh.

I just felt like such a phony. Wouldn't Nicholas' friends be able to smell it on me immediately? The fact that I was just playing dress up to impress him? How long was it going to take before one of them called me out on being such a fake?

How long was it going to take before they realized I didn't belong out here, at all?

"You okay?" Nicholas asked, his fingers softly brushing an errant snowflake away from my cheek. "You know you don't have to do this if you don't want to?—"

"No, I want to," I interrupted him, shaking my head. "I'm just a little nervous. That's all."

"Don't be nervous. I'll be watching out for you."

"Sure, but don't expect the same," I joked. "I'll be too busy focused on not dying to watch out for anyone but me out there."

"You'll be great, Parker. Trust me?—"

"Whoo! Whoo!" A voice suddenly shouted from somewhere behind us, and I watched as a younger guy drove toward us on a snowmobile, an excited smile on his half-masked face. He didn't stop until his vehicle was aligned with Nicholas', one that we'd rented while we were in town, picking it up along with my strange feeling new threads.

A few seconds later and I saw there were two other snowmobiles right behind him, their riders wearing more appropriate gear so that I couldn't quite see their ages or faces. The mystery of it all spiked my nervousness even more, a brief tinge of jealousy pooling in my stomach.

What if these guys were hot?

And what if that was another reason that Nicholas wanted to keep things practical between us, because deep down he already had someone pegged as his next-boyfriend-to-be. I knew it wasn't a rational thought, but I couldn't stop it from floating to the forefront of my brain, my anxiety only growing as the snowmobiles circled around us.

When they finally came to a standstill, the remaining mystery riders took off their masks. One of them was an older gentleman, who looked like he didn't suffer fools for any amount of time. The other looked a lot like him but a younger version, like he was his son or nephew, a borderline carbon copy with similar features.

The first rider who'd come up to us took his mask fully off now, too, offering up another wild smile. "Nicholas! Ready to ride?"

"Ready as I always am, Tyler," Nicholas replied, already chuckling. "Are you sure you have enough time off for this? No offense, but I feel like I haven't seen you actually at the station in forever."

"That's because you haven't been looking for me." Tyler chuckled, too. "We all know how much you've been angling for that promotion for George. He's the only guy you even talk to!"

"Don't drag me into this." The older guy playfully rolled his eyes before bringing his attention to me. "Hey there! You must be Parker, right?"

"Yep. That's me." I nodded with a smile. "And you must be, judging from context clues… George?"

"Nailed it." George offered me a thumbs-up before he nodded toward the rider beside him. "And this is my nephew, Francis. He volunteers at the station when he's in town and he just so happened to be in town."

"Nice to meet you, too, Francis," I said, trying my best not to say it through gritted teeth. I couldn't pretend like Francis wasn't objectively handsome, a fact that was eating away at me to no end. I looked over at Nicholas, then, wondering if he was having the same thoughts or if he was checking Francis out at that very moment…

But he didn't seem particularly interested in him, his attention taken up by George and Tyler as they seemed to be mapping out a path for the snowmobiles.

Huh.

Maybe I didn't need to be jealous, after all…

Or maybe I needed to be extremely jealous. Maybe the only reason Nicholas seemed so uninterested in Francis was because they'd hooked up before, maybe Francis only came back in town because he heard Nicholas was sheltering me and he was willing to do anything to get him back in his bed?—

Oh.

Oh no.

Was I losing my mind in real-time? Was this what was waiting on the other side of the butterflies? This kind of fluttering insecurity that I couldn't seem to ground no matter how hard I tried?

Practical. Practical. Practical.

I tried to repeat the phrase to myself like a mantra, needing to remind the butterflies that Nicholas wasn't ours, that he was never going to be ours, and it didn't matter if he'd had something with Francis or not. We were on a specific time frame, just meant to enjoy each other's company until it was time for me to head back to Wild Woods HQ.

Whatever we had, no matter how real things felt, they weren't.

Because being real just wasn't practical?—

Just then, I jumped with surprise, the sound of the other snowmobiles revving up and heading down a different side of the mountain suddenly buzzing through my frame.

"You're coming with me," Nicholas said as he grabbed for my hand, gingerly pulling me toward his waiting snowmobile. I sat behind him on the vehicle, waiting until he was situated in the driver's seat. I then wrapped my arms around his waist as he revved up the engine, eager to join the rest of the group.

"You ready?" he asked, the question slightly muffled by the mask he'd put on.

"Born ready," I replied, even as my hands shook with nerves. I buried my face against his back as the snowmobile took off down the mountain, the feeling inside me reminiscent of when planes first lift off the ground. Much like with planes, I wasn't so much concerned with being in the air…

I was much more concerned about what could happen if things came tumbling down.

A few moments later, though, and the fear of tumbling down quickly subsided. I'd even dared to look up from Nicholas' back, taking in the sights around me as we zoomed through the snow. While I'd thought the natural landscape in this part of the woods was beautiful before, the snow had transformed it into something even more breathtaking.

We came to a stop when we reached a clearing, the other snowmobiles just a few miles ahead. I was puzzled, since it didn't seem like it was part of the plan, especially since none of the other vehicles circled back to be closer to us. Nicholas then stepped away from the front of the vehicle before he coolly motioned for me to take his place.

"Your turn." It was all he said as he slightly adjusted his mask.

"What?" I shook my head before letting out a harsh laugh. "Are you serious? I didn't realize you had a death wish, Nicholas?—"

"I'll teach you how to drive it?—"

"Great, so both of us will end up dead on the side of a mountain?—"

"Do you trust me, Parker?" he pressed, as he took a step closer to me. "What did I say about watching out for you?"

"Oh, that is such a loaded question." I scoffed. "Of course, I trust you, Nicholas, I just don't think that you should trust me with something I've never done before?—"

"You can do this," he insisted, nodding toward the front of the snowmobile. "At least, give it a try. For me?"

"Why?"

"Because doing shit that scares us can be pretty damn fulfilling," he replied. "Isn't that why you came out here in the first place? To do something new? Something that scares you?"

Nicholas waved around at the mountains that surrounded us. "Didn't you want to connect more with nature? Well, here she is."

"Just so you know, if you were in my will, I'd take you out right now," I complained as I shifted toward the front of the vehicle, my hands gripping onto the handlebars. "It's so obvious that this is a scheme to get me killed so you can have all my money?—"

"You can joke your way through it if you want to," Nicholas interrupted as he sat behind me, his arms wrapping around me tight. "But it's okay to admit you're a little scared, too, Parker. You can always tell me how you're really feeling."

Butterflies.

Butterflies with little knives between their teeth all pointed at Francis.

Butterflies that made me want to turn around and kiss Nicholas and?—

"Pedal to the metal. Let's go!" Nicholas playfully shouted, and I did as I was told, revving up the engine before flying down the mountain.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

The snowmobile felt like it was wobbling from the left and then to the right, taking corners much too fast and all too slow at the same time. I braced for impact, almost positive that we were either about to end up hitting the nearest tree or tumbling down the snowy banks in our gear, the snowmobile speeding over our bodies before it disappeared from our view. I inwardly groaned as I imagined Jacob and Damon getting the news of my demise, wondering why I'd died attempting to drive a snowmobile, and then wondering who the guy was I'd taken out with me.

They would've never forgiven me, not for dying like that, and not for failing to keep them updated on my practical dating life, either?—

Wait.

The snowmobile had stopped wobbling.

I looked down at the controls and saw that Nicholas' hands were keeping the vehicle steady, his gloved hands held tight over mine.

"You just have to get a feel for it," he said as he directed us down a different path. "Once you get the hang of it, it's just like riding a bike."

I relaxed against him as he drove us toward a gathering of several snowmobiles, some of them I recognized and some of them I didn't. I then noticed George, Tyler, and Francis leaning against a cabin, each holding a beer in their hand. Afterward, I looked back at the cabin, now realizing that it doubled as a convenient snow shop, complete with kitschy items in the windows and a huge fridge of alcoholic selections that were visible even from a few feet away.

Nicholas stopped the snowmobile near the rest of the guys, before we both got off the vehicle.

"Did you save any for me?" Nicholas asked, nodding toward the beers in their hands.

"Didn't know what kind you wanted," George replied, with a grin. "They've got a whole gold mine in there."

"I told you, Uncle, I'm pretty sure Nicholas still likes a good Samuel Adams," Francis chimed into the conversation, a grin on his face, too. "He never drinks anything else when we're hanging out."

When we're hanging out?

Suddenly, the butterflies with knives returned, even though I did my best not to let it show on my face.

"I don't know how any of you can stomach anything that's not Blue Moon." Tyler scoffed. "I swear, one swig of this and you're never going back."

"What kind of beer do you like, Parker?" George asked, before he took another sip of his drink. "Are you a Samuel Adams guy like Nicholas here?"

"Oh. Uh… I'm not really a beer guy…" My words trailed off as my stomach sank, something telling me I'd just given him the worst answer possible.

"Interesting." George nodded, before going back to the drink in his hand. He then shifted his attention back to Nicholas, a warm smile on his face. "Do you remember that time you and Francis tried to drink each other under the goddamn table? When was that? A few Thanksgivings ago?"

"He started it!" Francis laughed, and soon, Nicholas was laughing, too.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure you're the one who started it," Nicholas added. "But I'll let you rewrite history if it makes you feel better about losing?—"

"Rematch! Rematch! Rematch!" Tyler started to chant, his fists pumping into the air with each word.

"I don't know if I'll be in town long enough to recover from something like that." Francis smirked. "But maybe we could have a few drinks? Down at that dive bar you're always dragging people to?"

"Sure thing. Just let me know when you have time," Nicholas said, his tone so casual and so polite.

And with that, it felt like all the color drained from my face, my skin turning the kind of pale it was hard to ignore. Even so, the only person who seemed to notice a change was Nicholas, concern lining his features as he looked down at me.

"Hey, since you guys are going to be working on these drinks, Parker and I are going to head back out," he said, turning back toward his friends. "We'll catch up with you near the endpoint of the trail."

"Sounds good! See you out there, kids." George waved us off, already heading back inside the cabin for another drink. Tyler and Francis soon joined him, offering us quick waves of their own as they disappeared behind the door.

"Come on. There's somewhere I want to show you." Nicholas beamed at me before he took a seat at the front of the snowmobile, his hands already back on the handlebars. He then tilted his head toward the seat behind him, and I slid into place, my mind racing as I wondered just where he planned on taking us.

"You brought me to a cave?"

Nicholas laughed after I asked the question, already moving away from the vehicle. I followed him to the cave, still unsure of why he'd brought me out here, a part of me terrified that we were about to find out some creature with sharp teeth had claimed this place as their home a long time ago.

But once we were a few steps inside of the cave, I immediately understood why he'd wanted me to see it.

Wow.

My eyes went wide as I took in the view of what seemed like hundreds of different kinds of crystals and gems, decorating each and every inch of the cave. I reached out to run my fingers across variations of purple, blue, quartz, azurite, all shimmering and shining under my curious fingers.

"You like it?" Nicholas quietly asked, one of his hands reaching out for mine, before gently folding it into his grip.

"I love it," I murmured, still mesmerized by the sight of it. "I can't believe something like this is just out here."

"It gets a lot more play when it's warmer out," he replied. "It's… actually a pretty popular make out spot for the high school kids."

"Yeah. I can see that." I nodded in complete understanding. "If I wanted to make out with someone, I'd definitely try to bring them here, too. It's just so…"

"Impressive?"

"Magical," I suggested, before playfully nudging Nicholas in the shoulder. "So, is that why you brought me here? You were angling for a make out session or something a little more grown-up?"

"Actually…" Nicholas' words trailed off for a moment. "I just wanted to check in with you."

"Check-in?"

"Back when we were with the rest of the guys, you seemed a little off," he continued. "Like something was bothering you?"

"Oh." I looked away from him, unsure of how to respond. "I… uh…"

"You can tell me about it, Parker, whatever it is," he insisted. "You know that you can trust me with however you're really feeling."

"Fine," I relented, as I let out a deep breath. "I was jealous, okay?"

"Jealous?"

"Of you and Francis." I shrugged as I spoke. "You two just seem like you're… close? Which is fine, it's just…"

"It's just what?"

"I don't know. I guess I just thought that you and I were doing something… unique? Something different for you. I didn't think that I was just another town hook up?—"

"Who said anything about you being just another town hook up?" Nicholas shook his head, confused. "And wait. Are you saying you think that Francis and I have hooked up before?"

"Have you?"

"No," he answered, bringing his hands to either side of his waist. "Parker… you're the only guy I've ever hooked up with. Ever."

"Oh."

"I should've said something sooner," he murmured. "I just… I didn't want you to think you were some kind of experiment or one-time thing for me. But I really didn't think it was that big of a deal, either. It's not like it matters to me."

There was a moment of silence between us before Nicholas asked, his voice low, "Is it something that matters to you?"

"No way," I said, happily letting out a sigh of pure relief. "Oh, my God. That makes me feel so much better. You have no idea. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're free to hook up with whoever you want but Francis literally looks like a model?—"

"I don't want Francis. I want you." It was the last thing Nicholas said before closing the distance between us, his lips crashing against mine. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he deepened the kiss, both of us greedily exploring each other's mouths. I felt one of his hands moving toward the crotch of my pants, casually massaging the length of my shaft through the fabric.

"Fuck…" I half-whispered, half-moaned into Nicholas' mouth. "That feels really good…"

"Good," Nicholas whispered back. "I like making you feel good, Parker."

I moaned again as Nicholas gently pushed me toward the side of the cave, crowding me as he continued to touch me through my clothes, still kissing me. I was almost overwhelmed with the amount of attention, especially when he began to not-so-subtly thrust his hips against mine, mimicking the motion of roughly fucking me.

"Fuck… Nicholas…" I groaned, a shiver of desire making its way through me, my bottom lip quivering with it, too. "I want you inside me."

"Hmm," he hummed, his mouth lingering near my ear. "I think you can ask a little nicer than that."

"Please fuck me, sir," I replied, hoping it would do the trick. "I want you inside me so much, sir. Please. I need you to fuck me."

"That's better." Nicholas let out a wistful sigh. "But I couldn't fuck you even if I wanted to, Parker."

"Why not?" I shamelessly whimpered. "It's not like anyone's even around?—"

"Because if we took off our clothes in this weather, we'd end up with frostbite." He lightly chuckled. "And while I would love to be inside you right now, this isn't really the time or the place?—"

"But sir?—"

"No more begging," he cut me off, with a grin. "Or else you just might convince me to give you exactly what you want."

I inwardly whined as he went back to kissing me, my cock growing harder and harder against his still moving palm. It didn't take long for him to bring me right up to the edge, my sensitive shaft twitching at his every stroke. My grip on him tightened as my tip began to leak with precome, as I felt myself reaching the point of no return.

"Nicholas…" I moaned into his mouth, his kiss still devouring me. "I'm coming… I'm…"

Suddenly, my fingers tightened against his back, my body shaking as I came for him, as I gave him everything that I had. His kiss shifted into something else then, something so much softer and warm. It was tender in a way I could barely handle, the butterflies once again knocking at the door, every part of me wanting to just dissolve into his gentleness, his sweetness.

Mine.

I wanted Nicholas Cooper to be mine.

"Hey! Are you two all right?" Francis' voice now filled the cave, his footsteps getting closer and closer. "I saw your snowmobile out this way and just wanted to make sure—Oh!"

"We're good." Nicholas didn't move away from me, his frame still pressed against mine. "Thanks for checking in on us, though."

Francis looked between the both of us, seeming amused by the sight, even though I could feel my cheeks burning red. It was one thing to catch two people making out, it was another thing to catch them when one of them definitely still had a just-had-an-orgasm glow on their face.

"No problem," Francis eventually replied, with a bright smile. "You know, when I was in high school my girlfriend and I used to come up here all the time. I even tried to get one of those gems out of the cave for her?—"

"I remember that." Nicholas laughed. "Such a bad idea. You nicked yourself with that makeshift pickaxe you came up here with."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Francis waved away the memory. "At least, my fiancé is happy with the rock I got her. I told you about that, right? The big engagement?"

"Shit, man. Congratulations!" Nicholas smiled back at him. "I'm really happy for you. She seems like a great catch."

"Thanks." Francis started to move back toward the cave's entrance. "All right, then. I'll let you two get back to it. Should I tell Tyler and George not to wait up?"

"Yeah. I think that'd be for the best," Nicholas replied.

And with that, Francis offered us an enthusiastic thumbs up…

Before he disappeared on the other side of the cave, the last sound we heard was his snowmobile revving up and soon fading off in the distance.