7. Parker

7

I wasn't sure if I'd dreamt it or not.

Nicholas coming home from work and proceeding to fuck my brains out.

In fact, the only thing that gave me any hope it'd actually happened was spotting the condom wrapper on the bedroom floor when I woke up a few hours later, obvious evidence that something had happened between us. And yet, it was still so hard to believe.

What was going on with us?

As in, was there even an us? Was I still supposed to be in vacation fling mode even after Nicholas fucked me like that? After he fucked me like he owned me?

That hadn't felt like vacation sex to me. There was too much underneath the surface, too much raw desire, too much longing, too much electricity embedding our every touch, our every kiss. If anything, it felt more like Nicholas was fucking me after we'd been separated for a long time, like we were finally coming back together?—

But that didn't make any sense, seeing how we'd only met each other a few days ago.

I groaned as I let my head rest against the kitchen island. Nicholas was a few feet away from me, packing us lunch, humming some country song as he did. He was acting like there wasn't anything going on with us, like he hadn't just fucked me to oblivion and back. When we'd woken up from our respective naps, he'd informed me that he was taking me on a hike. It was part of his whole introducing me to Mother Nature in his own way thing, giving me a taste of the rugged life that I'd signed up for.

I was grateful for the invitation, even though I'd been on a million hikes before. I wasn't sure this one was going to yield anything different from the usual hiking experience, but I wasn't about to say that to Nicholas, not when he seemed so excited about it. Even though we were still mostly strangers, I didn't want to let him down.

God.

How much more wrapped up in this guy was I going to get?

"Ready to head out?" Nicholas asked, as he handed me a small backpack. "I put your lunch in there. And a few waters."

"Thanks." I beamed back at him. "How long do you think we're going to be out on the trail?"

"As long as it takes," he answered, already heading toward the front door.

"As long as it takes?" I asked a now empty room, following right behind him. "Nicholas! As long as it takes to do what? As long as it takes to do what?!"

It was beautiful out here.

I smiled to myself as I took in a breath of fresh air, letting the scent of mossy old trees and green, green grass fill my lungs. This was the part of hiking that never seemed to get old, even if I'd been on enough trails to cover a lifetime. It was the sort of thing that'd made me want to commit myself to nature, that made me want to be a part of Wild Woods, too.

I loved nature even though it seemed indifferent about me.

A one-way relationship that I wouldn't have traded for anything else in the world.

Nicholas hadn't said much to me since we'd started our trek, his focus on the steps ahead of us, his gaze often switching from the trail behind us to the further reaches of the forest. I wasn't sure if he was counting our steps or figuring out our location, his silence making him even more impossible to read than usual.

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me, my pace now matching his, step for step.

"Nicholas, where are we going exactly?—"

"Nowhere," he interrupted, with a wide grin on his face. "At least, nowhere in particular."

"So, we're hiking to nowhere?"

"We're hiking to anywhere that we want to go," he corrected. "We're hiking until we decide we've had enough."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are we hiking until we've had enough, instead of, you know, having an actual destination in mind?"

"Because it's not about the destination," Nicholas replied. "It's all about the journey."

"Ugh. You should write one of those cheesy greeting cards from the grocery store."

"Maybe." Nicholas lightly chuckled before he knelt toward the forest ground. "But here. Come take a look at this."

I knelt down next to him, now looking at a patch of bright purple flowers with spots of brown in each of their centers. It almost looked like the flowers had throats, open and exposed, waiting for their next meal.

"What are we looking at?" I asked.

"Heal-Alls," Nicholas answered, one of his fingers gently brushing against a petal. "People used to use these for everything, because of their medicinal properties. Although, I think they were usually used to help heal sore throats."

"Because they look like they have throats of their own?" I joked.

"Actually, yes." Nicholas nodded as he spoke. "There wasn't much in the way of science back then, so people just assumed that the way a plant looked was also what it was meant to be used for. Like nature itself was giving them helpful hints."

"Huh," I hummed before softly touching one of the flowers. "You learn something new every day."

I glanced over at Nicholas, suspicion lining my gaze. His eyes soon met mine, his expression leaning toward being perplexed by the look on my face.

"Uh, Parker? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What's your deal, Nicholas?"

"You know, you've asked me that before." He chuckled again. "And I thought I already made it pretty clear?—"

"I'm dead serious," I interrupted, already shaking my head. "Nothing about you makes sense. You're this gruff, firefighter type, but you're also the most graceful person on their feet I've ever seen. I know you're an athlete, too, with the whole rugby playing thing, but you don't have any meathead tendencies, at all. I mean, you're sitting here explaining the medicinal properties of flowers?—"

"People aren't allowed to be more than one thing?"

"Of course, people are allowed to be more than one thing, Nicholas," I continued. "But I'm pretty good about reading people and you're like if someone gave me a book filled with blank page after blank page."

"Is that what this is really about? You not being able to read me?" Nicholas asked as he moved slightly closer to me, his natural scent suddenly overwhelming each one of my senses.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you sure this isn't about what happened between us this morning?"

I froze on the spot, my heart feeling like it stalled in my chest. "I… uh…"

"It's okay, we can talk about it," he replied, shifting from kneeling to sitting, getting comfortable on the trail. "If that's really what you want to talk about."

"It is," I admitted, taking a seat right beside him, my body slowly starting to unfreeze. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting this to be so…"

"Direct?"

"That's a good word for it." I cracked a smile before I went on. "But yeah. What exactly… what is this to you, Nicholas? If it's just a fling, that's fine with me. I just need to know?—"

"I don't know."

"Oh." I couldn't stop myself from frowning at his response. "Really? You don't know?"

"It's not like it's practical, Parker, if it's anything more than a fling. You're only here for vacation and we won't ever live in the same place," he replied. "But… I also can't pretend like there isn't something else between us. It's different. Something I'm really not used to."

He looked over at me as he finished with his thoughts. "I think… I think we should just keep things practical for now. It'll make things easier. Keep things light."

"You're really loving that word, huh? Practical," I murmured. "But you're probably right. Why set ourselves up for failure if we don't have to?"

"Exactly." Nicholas gave me a serious nod before he beamed in my direction. "But… practical or not, that doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy our time together. I really like being around you, Parker. You're just so…"

"Blindingly attractive? Super intelligent? Impossibly charming?"

"Relatable. Down to earth, even." Nicholas laughed as he pulled me in close, his hand resting on my shoulder. A few seconds later and his lips were pressed against mine, his kiss warm and inviting, so soft and so sweet. It didn't take much for me to get lost in it, kissing him back with just as much softness, a gentleness being exchanged between us that seemed to reverberate across my skin, like I was supported and safe.

Like I was exactly where I always wanted to be?—

Nope.

This was way too much, especially after Nicholas had just told me that we needed to keep things practical. It definitely wasn't practical to let myself feel like this under any circumstances, which meant that I needed to snap out of it ASAP.

"We should keep moving, right?" I said, pulling away from him, scrambling up to my feet. "If we're trying to reach that non-existent destination? The impossible location?"

"Sure. Right." Nicholas seemed a little disoriented as he brought himself up to his feet, too. "We should keep moving. Enjoy the journey and all that."

I flashed him a fake smile before I turned back toward the trail, not wanting him to read the real expression on my face.

Not wanting him to see that practical was going to be one of the hardest pills I'd ever had to swallow.