3. Parker
3
I couldn't be an adult about it.
I'd spent the night tossing and turning, half-awake, half-staring at Nicholas' sleeping form. It turned out that he was one of those guys who slept shirtless, which meant I had the perfect view of his broad chest and muscular arms, his perfect frame casually on display. It was torture every time I tried to close my eyes, memories of his muscles dancing right behind my eyelids, daring me not to open them and sneak another peek.
And how could I not sneak another peek?
I didn't know when this had happened, me becoming this attracted to Nicholas. I could've sworn that back at the bar I wasn't sensing anything more than maybe a burgeoning friendship, back when I was downing whiskey sours and attempting to drown myself in my own self-pity. But then…
The almost car accident.
There was something in his eyes, the way the first thing he wanted to do was make sure that I was okay, even though he barely knew me. Something shifted, and while it was entirely possible that he was just doing his job and making sure I was okay, I couldn't deny that it had an effect on me. An effect that was making it impossible to sleep, guaranteeing that I was going to be groggy as hell in the morning?—
Fuck.
Was it morning already?
I pretended to be asleep as Nicholas shifted away from the bed, rolling out of it with the grace of a goddamn trained acrobat. Despite his size, his movements were light and controlled, no sense of lumbering to be found. It was almost like he practiced them, like he never wanted to be mistaken for someone careless, a human wrecking ball with the capacity to cause pain.
A few seconds later, he was out of the room and down the hall, his movements still just as limber and lithe.
Just as controlled.
Hmm.
I sat up in bed, grateful to let go of the sleeping charade. I soon joined Nicholas in the kitchen, where I figured he was after smelling the distinct scent of bacon wafting down the hallway. I took a moment to look around the room, noting that it was just as neat as his bedroom, nothing seemingly out of place. It reminded me of something out of a catalog devoted to show homes, untouched by people, unlived and inexperienced.
My stomach sank a little at the realization, wondering how few people had passed through Nicholas' home, how alone he must be up here all the time?—
Wait.
Why do I care?
I shook the thought away as I leaned across his kitchen island. Sure, Nicholas was the hottest guy I'd ever seen in my life, but there was zero chance of our paths ever crossing again, just like there was zero chance of anything happening between us. If Nicholas was as nice and neat as his home, he would've never been interested in crossing the professional line with some guy he saved from a cabin fire.
If he was even into guys to begin with.
"I hope you like bacon." Nicholas grinned over at me, interrupting my thoughts. "If not, I could go with something more vegetable forward? Maybe a veggie omelet?"
"I feel like the term ‘veggie omelet' is actually illegal to say around these parts," I joked, grinning right back at him. "But the good news for you is that I'm fine with bacon. More than fine."
"More than fine?"
"Obsessed. Bacon is all I eat, breakfast, lunch, and dinner."
Nicholas tilted his head to the side. "Are you fucking with me?"
"Always." I chuckled as I tapped the kitchen island. "You'll get used to it after a while."
"Uh-huh." Nicholas smirked. "Did you sleep okay?"
"Yeah," I lied, unsure of how to answer the question without lying. "I slept all right. How about you?"
"I slept good." Nicholas shrugged. "I usually do."
"Lucky man." I let out a wistful sigh. "Hey, do you think we could go check out the cabin after breakfast?"
"That's the plan. You should be able to see what's left that you can grab, you know, whatever survived the fire. And I can do a check on the damage, too."
"Sounds perfect. I can probably grab my truck while we're down there, too, so you don't have to keep playing chauffeur."
"Sounds perfect," Nicholas repeated, before he brought his focus back down to the stove in front of him.
The cabin looked like it'd been a little on fire.
Not completely on fire. Not completely burnt out.
There were just little bits and pieces of evidence of flames if I looked at it long enough, like something had torn through it but it'd been quickly taken care of. It reminded me of someone setting fire to a stack of books, with only the spines being burned, the pages still readable if not a little smoky.
I watched as Nicholas surveyed the perimeter, going once around the cabin, his eyes locking on places that didn't mean anything to me. I briefly wondered if my initial assessment had been incorrect, if my idea of a little on fire was a much bigger deal than I realized with my untrained eyes. A few moments later, though, and he was standing beside me again, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Ready to go in?" he asked, all business, like I was another fireman.
"Something wrong with the outside of the cabin?" I replied, nodding toward the building. "You were looking around it like?—"
"I was just doing a check to be safe," he interrupted my response. "It's something we're trained to do. Just making sure there aren't any live wires, nothing burning in the back. You don't want to get out of a cabin that's on fire just to end up in another fire."
"Yeah, I imagine that'd be pretty embarrassing for a firefighter," I joked.
But Nicholas didn't react. "Come on. Follow me."
"Tough crowd," I murmured to myself as I followed him into the cabin. On first impression, the inside of the cabin looked just like the outside, a little burned but nothing too devastating. I turned my attention back to Nicholas, which was when I noticed that he was holding something in his hands, his fingers flipping through the pages?—
"No!" I unintentionally shouted at the top of my lungs, my hands already flying toward my journal. I hastily pulled it out of his grip, soon holding it down by my side.
"Uh…" Nicholas let out a confused laugh. "What was that about?"
"You should know better than to just go through people's things." I scoffed. "Some things are personal."
"You working on a novel or something? Because one of the guys at the station acts the same way whenever one of us makes the mistake of getting too close to his laptop when he's working on a new chapter," Nicholas replied. "Artists are pretty sensitive types, so I guess it makes sense."
"I'm not working on a novel—I'm not sensitive—It's just—" I was flustered by the question, unsure of which part to reply to first. "It's just my journal, okay? I like keeping a record of what's going on around me. What's going on in my head."
"But no one else gets to ever read it?"
"That's generally how journals work, yeah. Unless I die or something," I replied, before letting out a loud sigh. "Which I guess means if you hadn't rescued me, everyone would've had a chance to read my journal. And that is… horrifying."
"Why horrifying?"
"Because most people don't broadcast what they're thinking or feeling 24/7? And the thought of other people having access to that?—"
"I think I get it." Nicholas cut me off with a hum. "No one gets to know what you're thinking or feeling until you're dead."
"Exactly."
"Meanwhile, you'll be keeping all your thoughts and feelings to yourself while you're alive."
"One hundred percent correct."
"No offense, but that's the version that sounds horrifying to me," he went on. "Saving all that up for when the ride's already over. What happens to the present when it's just another thing to keep a record of instead of fully enjoying it?"
"And what happens in the future when you wish you could look back on something that happened in the past but you never kept a record of it?" I argued back. "When you want to remember your favorite day? Or your favorite person? And you don't have a thing to remember them by?"
"Fair." Nicholas nodded as he headed toward another part of the cabin. "I just think it's important to experience the here and now."
"Which is exactly what I'm doing by journaling," I said, following right behind him, journal still at my side. "Although, in this instance, journaling about how much it sucked being at a dry cabin and then maybe dying in a fire at said dry cabin… not my greatest set of entries."
"Wait." Nicholas suddenly stooped in his tracks as he turned back around to face me. "Was your journal the only person you told? About coming out here to the cabin?"
"I mean, yeah?" I shrugged. "There are people who knew that I was doing something outdoors-y, maybe, but nothing like this?—"
"Do you realize how dangerous that is? Coming out here alone and not telling anyone?"
"Obviously, I do now?" I gestured around the slightly singed room. "Don't worry. This is a lesson I'm never going to forget."
Nicholas looked like he wanted to say something but decided to keep it to himself as he walked over to the fireplace. He then looked between the fireplace and me, a concerned expression on his face growing even more concerned by the second.
"What? What is it?" I pressed. "Is this the part where you tell me I actually died in the fire and I've been a ghost this whole time?"
"No. This is the part where I tell you that this fireplace is a fire hazard."
"Isn't that true of literally all fireplaces?"
"Parker, this is serious." Nicholas took a step closer to me. "You really have to watch out for things like this, especially if you're going to be camping on your own without telling anyone where you are. If it wasn't the tree being hit by lightning, it could've been this fireplace. And if I hadn't seen the smoke?—"
"You don't need to explain how fires work to me. I got it. Trust me."
"I'm not really sure that you do."
"Pretty presumptuous of you, considering that you don't know the first thing about me."
"I know that the only reason we know each other is because you passed out from smoke inhalation," Nicholas said, taking yet another step closer to me, closing the distance between us.
"Right, from a fire that wasn't my fault."
"But it could've been. Easily." By now, he was looming over me, his frame changing from graceful to ominous, like he wanted to remind me of his size in a domineering way. It was almost like it was a challenge, to see if I was going to back away from him.
But instead, I held my ground. "How about you focus on figuring out whatever it is you need to figure out to write up a report? And I'll be sure to take your fire hazard advice to heart."
"Gladly." It was the last thing Nicholas said before he moved away from me, seemingly ending the challenge as he walked toward the cabin's sleeping area. I hesitated to call it a bedroom since it shared space with the main cabin and the bed was one of the most uncomfortable things my back had ever had the displeasure of experiencing.
I followed him into the sleeping area as he got on his knees beside the mattress. I got on my knees, too, imitating his movements, and soon enough, we were both looking underneath it, even though I wasn't sure what we were looking for.
"What are you—" I started.
"Just making sure you didn't leave any electrical devices nearby," he cut me off with the answer to my un-asked question. "Sometimes, campers are forgetful. Heaters roll underneath things or stay plugged in too long."
"You know this wasn't my first time camping, right?" I asked, something unfamiliar boiling in my veins. Between his challenge about the fireplace and talking to me like I was in Camping 101 class, a part of me wanted to prove him wrong about it all, even though I didn't know how I could. Just then, a realization made its way across the front of my brain. I knew exactly what I was feeling in my veins, even if I hadn't felt it in a very long time.
Frustration.
Nicholas Cooper was frustrating me.
Huh. I guess I'd gotten so used to being the most frustrating person in the room, that I didn't know that anyone could still get under my skin. It was exhilarating in a way but also still extremely frustrating, something I was struggling to apparently let go of.
"I just want to make sure you stay safe," he replied, as he rose to his feet. "I know you might have experience camping but that doesn't mean?—"
"Oh, don't you fucking dare," I started, as I rose to my feet, too. "I know exactly what I'm doing, thank you very much for your unsolicited concern—fuck!"
I saw my journal flying out of my hands and toward the ceiling, just as I felt myself falling toward the floor below. Embarrassment was already uncoiling in my stomach, the understanding that I was barking at Nicholas for being concerned about my safety, only to immediately find myself in a very unsafe situation. The good news was that for the most part, the cabin was free of any errant nails or uneven floorboards, so hitting the ground wasn't going to be fatal.
It'd still be painful, though, especially to my ego.
Of course, before I had a chance to finish my fall, I felt Nicholas' hands wrapping around my waist. Unfortunately for him, my brain was now running on instinct, and the same way it's unwise to try and grab a drowning person's hand when they're under the waves, it was apparently very unwise to try and stop me from colliding with the ground. I felt my hands on the fabric of Nicholas' shirt, holding on tight as I brought him down with me, both of us hitting the floor with a loud thud.
A few seconds later, and I watched my journal make its way toward the ground, too, but not quite getting there. Instead, it made a soft thump against Nicholas' back, before plopping down right beside him, all of its pages still intact.
"What were you saying?" Nicholas started. "About me not needing to be concerned for your safety?"
"Thanks for helping me get my stuff," I said, embarrassment burning my face, seemingly getting hotter with every passing second. We were in front of Nicholas' place, I'd followed behind his car with my truck, thankful that we didn't have to share an enclosed space together for the duration of the trip. After the whole falling-flat-on-my-ass incident, it turned out I didn't have too much else to say.
"Of course." Nicholas nodded before he tilted his head toward his front door. "You should sit down for a while. Maybe elevate for a few minutes. A fall like that might not feel major but?—"
"I actually think I'm going to get back on the road."
"What?" Nicholas' eyes went wide. "You're leaving?"
"I mean, yeah?" I shrugged. "Since the cabin is a no-go, I don't really have a place to stay. What am I supposed to do? Rent a hotel room for the rest of my vacation? That's kind of the exact opposite vibe I was going for by coming out here, you know?"
I paused, a small grimace twisting up my features. "Even though going back is really going to suck."
"Why is it going to suck?"
"Because I'll have to admit that I couldn't hack it." I let out a pained laugh. "That I came out here to prove something I never had a chance to prove."
"Then, why are you going back?" Nicholas took a step closer to me.
"I just told you? Because I don't want to end up renting a hotel room?—"
"You don't have to rent a hotel room," he cut me off, his voice low. "You could just stay, with me."
"What?"
"You could stay here for the rest of your vacation," he went on. "Free of charge. That way, you don't have to go home early. And you get to do all the other stuff you wanted to do in town while you're here."
"Uh, that's a really nice offer?—"
"Which is why you should take me up on it." Nicholas grinned. "It'd be rude to turn down such a nice offer, wouldn't it?"
"I just don't know if you really want a roommate," I started. "Especially one who you think is basically a walking fire hazard."
"Oh, I'd consider it a challenge." He beamed. "A fireman living with a walking fire hazard? Who knows if I'll be able to keep you from burning the place down?"
"Ha, ha. Very funny." I playfully rolled my eyes, even as I turned the offer over and over again in the back of my head. I couldn't pretend like it wasn't tempting, delaying my inevitable return to Wild Woods HQ, where Jacob would get on my case for going to a dry cabin and not telling anyone about it and Damon would happily join in on the chorus of that-was-a-really-bad-idea-Parker.
"You okay?" Nicholas asked, concern lining his tone. "You went quiet on me for a moment. I'm not really used to that."
"I don't think you'd get it." I shook my head. "I mean, look at you. You look like you were made to survive in the Virginia wilderness."
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"I just…" I let out a loud sigh. "I want to get better at this outdoors stuff. I mean, not that I'm not pretty good already but it's different when some people just sort of know it like the back of their hand and I feel like I've been studying it for years. It doesn't come naturally. I guess I just wish that it did."
"Hence the whole dry cabin thing?"
"Hence the whole dry cabin thing." I weakly smiled. "Hence this whole vacation."
"Then, stay." Nicholas' voice was low again, vulnerable in a way that sounded unsure. "If you want, I can teach you everything I know. That way, you don't have to go home empty-handed, at least not when it comes to being more knowledgeable."
"Nicholas, I just don't?—"
"Stay," he murmured, gently placing his hands on my shoulders, keeping me in place in front of him. "Please stay, Parker."
A pleasurable chill moved through me, my skin warming at his touch.
What the hell was happening right now?
I felt as though I'd been glued to the spot. There was also the matter of what felt like butterflies bursting right through my stomach, my limbs feeling strange, all loose and dangly. There was just something about the way Nicholas was looking at me, an intense intimacy mixed with something I couldn't quite name.
It was… intoxicating.
And also completely inappropriate since there was no way Nicholas wasn't straight as a fucking arrow. Which meant that I needed to find a way to take my mind off Nicholas, a way to distract myself from forbidden, completely unattainable fruit.
"Fine. I'll stay. Under one condition." I smirked.
"All right. Name your price."
"You have to take me somewhere fun tonight," I replied. "The most fun place you can think of. The thing everyone likes to get into."
"Oh, I don't know if that's really my?—"
"Come on, Nicholas. You can think of something." I playfully patted him on the shoulder as I headed into the house. "I believe in you."
Oh, wow.
Nicholas did good.
Or at least as good as he could've done in a small-ish town. We were standing outside of a genuine honky-tonk bar, with country music being blasted so loud we were able to hear it on the sidewalk. I peered through one of the glass windows, spotting a few women with jean shorts that were just a little too short and guys in pants that were just a little too tight.
"So? Does this fulfill your requirement for fun?" Nicholas asked. He was wearing a plaid shirt with his sleeves rolled up and dark jeans to match. He'd even put on a pair of cowboy boots for good measure.
"I think so, but we'll have to see inside first." I beamed as I started to walk into the bar. "If the vibes are right, the requirement has definitely been fulfilled."
"How do you measure vibes?"
"By checking out the scene. Obviously."
"Of course. Checking out the scene. The scientific method…" Nicholas' words trailed off as we approached the bartender, a familiar face smiling at us from behind the bar.
"Sadie!" I smiled back at her. "You work here, too?"
"What can I say?" She chuckled. "It's a small town. Bartending is a multiple bar kind of gig if I want to make rent. Everything's open on different nights."
"It's good to see you again, Sadie," Nicholas added. "How have things been?"
"Well, the good news is that Kirk has been nowhere to be found. And in even better news, I think someone new has already caught my eye…"
"Ooh, tell us all about him," I said, getting settled into my seat at the bar.
"Well, he's super handsome. A little skittish. Very sure of himself, though, once he's comfortable. We might need to work on his grooming. His claws need to be filed down a bit?—"
"Sadie."
"Yeah?"
"Are you talking about a cat?"
"I am." She chuckled again. "Best decision I've made in a long time. Kirk never let me get one so I figured I should take a shot."
"I'm happy for you, Sadie." Nicholas offered her a warm smile. "Sounds like you're in a really good place."
"I am." Sadie let out a peaceful sigh. "So? What can I get you two gentlemen to drink tonight?"
"Can we start with a Moscow Mule and a Sidecar?" I suggested.
"You got it," Sadie said as she went to work behind the bar, casually mixing our drinks.
As we waited to be served, I openly eyed Nicholas up and down.
"What? What is it?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow in my direction. "Something in my teeth?"
"You look like a honky-tonk guy tonight," I replied with a grin. "Like this is something you've done before. This a place you like to bring girls?"
"Not if I have anything to say about it, no."
"Why not? It seems like a good time."
Nicholas nodded toward the dance floor, currently filled to the brim with bodies, people line-dancing in neat row after row. They all stepped and clapped in time to an old country classic, laughter and smiles on their faces as boots quite literally scooted in perfect rhythm. At one point, a couple broke from the scheduled dance moves, as a woman pretended to lasso her boyfriend close to her before pulling him in for a passionate kiss.
"I'm… not much of a dancer," he murmured. "Never have been, really."
"Because you just don't like it?"
"Because it's not for me." He shrugged. "I feel like everyone's just watching me when I try. Like they know I'm too big to be out there. Too tall."
"Forget about them, Nicholas. Haven't you ever heard the phrase ‘dance like no one is watching'?"
"Yeah, that's easy for you to say." Nicholas half-laughed, half-scoffed. "I'm sure you look amazing on the dancefloor."
"Oh? And why is that?"
"Because you look like you're built for it," Nicholas confessed as he tore his eyes away from mine. "You, um, look like you'd be a really good dancer."
You look like you'd be a really good dancer.
Wait. What?
Had Nicholas been checking me out?
Before I had a chance to respond, there was someone tapping me on the shoulder. I slowly turned toward them, terrified that somehow one of the guys had found me and was about to ask a million questions. But by the time my eyes met the stranger's, I knew he wasn't anyone I'd ever seen before.
"Hey," he started, his lips already twisted into a bright smile. "You want to dance?"
I looked between the stranger and the dance floor, gripped by confusion. "You? With me? Right now?"
"Unless you're not into it," he continued, throwing a look over at Nicholas. "Oh, shit. Sorry, man. I didn't even see you—I wouldn't have asked your boyfriend to dance if?—"
"He's not my boyfriend," Nicholas added, a little too quickly. "He's not anything to me."
Ouch.
I knew he was straight but saying I wasn't anything to him? Not even a burgeoning friend?
I rolled my eyes as I took the stranger's hand and headed for the dance floor. "We'll be right back, Nicholas. Keep an eye on my Sidecar for me?"
"Will do." There was a strange look on Nicholas' face as he watched the stranger and me sidle up next to a row of people on the dance floor. I rolled my eyes yet again, no longer interested in concerning myself with what Nicholas was thinking about, before I turned back toward the stranger. He flashed a smile at me as he began to move in time to the music, expertly keeping in step. I tried to follow his lead, even though I was desperately offbeat, unable to figure out the right moves before the song shifted from verse to chorus.
"You're really good at this," the stranger commented, hips swaying.
"And you're a really good liar," I said back, unable to stop myself from laughing as I fumbled yet another step.
"Here. Let me help…" The stranger reached toward my waist, his hands resting on either side of me. He turned me around to face him, his frame suddenly oh-so-very close to mine. But just as he began to take a step backward, in time to the beat, I felt another pair of hands pulling me away from the dance floor.
"What—" I looked over at Nicholas, his arm now firmly wrapped around my waist. He didn't stop moving until we were at the back of the bar near the restroom area, with him soon pushing open the men's restroom door.
"Nicholas, what the hell?" I ripped myself away from him and leaned against the nearest stall. "What's going on with you?"
Nicholas stared at me for a few seconds, his expression blank, unreadable.
"I don't…" His words trailed off as he eyed me up and down. "I don't really know what's going on with me."
"Did you think that guy was going to hurt me or something?"
"No."
"Then, why did you stop us from dancing with each other?"
"Because… I wanted you to be dancing with me," he murmured. "Because I…"
He stammered for a few seconds, like he was desperately searching for the right thing to say but just couldn't find it.
"Nicholas—"
His name was the last word out of my mouth before his lips were pressed tightly against my own. I soon found myself kissing him back, a sudden electricity crackling between us, like it'd been just underneath the surface, waiting for its time to sizzle to life. A few seconds later and he was pressing me even further back against the stall, both of us stumbling backward as its door swung shut behind us.
"Hi," I whispered, a smirk growing on my face. "How are you holding up?"
"Holding up?"
"After realizing that you're insanely attracted to me." I let out a small laugh, now extremely aware of how close our bodies were pressed against each other in what was technically still a public place. "I can't lie. I didn't really see that one coming?—"
"Yeah, me neither," Nicholas admitted with a shrug. "Something about seeing you out on that dance floor…"
"Set you down a burning path of jealousy and rage?"
"It just… I don't know…" Nicholas was laughing now, too. "Fuck. I'm sorry. This is—you're not?—"
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Don't make this complicated and ruin everything." I beamed, reaching behind Nicholas to lock the bathroom stall. "We're having fun, right? We should just keep having fun."
"Parker—"
I playfully pressed a hand against his mouth before I motioned for him to keep quiet. I then lowered myself to the floor, my hands sliding down each side of Nicholas' jeans as I made my way down. He watched my every move, his gaze locked on me, even as I slowly brought my hand back up to the crotch of his jeans.
I kept my eyes on him, too, as I started to massage his cock through the fabric, my heart racing behind my chest as I felt the full length of him for the first time. His shaft was growing with each stroke of my palm, his body already so responsive to me. Eager to get a glimpse of his naked cock, I reached back up toward his jeans, my fingers moving to the waistline so that I'd be able to pull them down?—
"No."
"No?" Confusion filled my tone. "You don't want me to?—"
"I didn't say that was for you to do," he replied, his voice stern as he pulled down his own jeans, his boxers soon following. "I'll let you know when I want you to take off my clothes."
"Okay, control freak." I let out an incredulous scoff, before I playfully rolled my eyes. I then moved back toward him, opening my mouth near the tip of his cock?—
"Get back against the wall," he instructed, completely throwing me off my game. "Press your back against it. Stay on the floor."
I did as I was told, shifting into position despite the million questions that'd just popped into my head. I hadn't been expecting Nicholas to be like this behind closed doors, taking control of the situation, his previous hesitancy about kissing me now thrown out the window.
I hadn't expected to like it so much, either. As a full-time extrovert, I'd been in my share of situations where I'd taken the reins without much pushback, but with Nicholas it seemed like he wasn't going to be giving me an inch.
Well, not any inches when it came to making decisions, at least.
Just then, Nicholas was close to me again, his fingers gently trailing all along my mouth, exploring my lips like he was taking in a prized painting.
"You're fucking gorgeous," he said, under his breath. He bent to kiss me, his tongue roughly thrusting into my mouth, meeting mine for one singular purpose. I tried to kiss him back with just as much fervor, just as much excitement, but before I was able to return his intensity, he moved away from me again, his mouth replaced by his cock, only a few inches from my lips.
He didn't say another word as he steadily pressed his cock into my mouth, the length of it sliding onto my tongue. I opened as wide as I could to accommodate his shaft, keeping my breaths shallow as he slid even more of his cock between my lips. When the full length of him was inside my mouth, I started to move my head, slowly bobbing up and down his cock.
"Fuck, that's perfect," Nicholas hissed, pressing his hands against the wall above my head. "That feels so fucking good, Parker."
I smiled to myself as I continued to work his cock, my tongue sliding along the side of his shaft before I brought it back up to his tip and hastily swiped it across his slit. A few more swipes and I started to taste Nicholas' precome, something that was quickly becoming one of the best flavors I'd ever had on my tongue.
Nicholas groaned above me, his cock growing harder in my mouth. "Will you swallow for me?"