12. Nicholas

12

Filling out paperwork had never felt more impossible.

I'd been having trouble concentrating all morning long, my laptop nearly untouched despite the mountain of reports that needed to be filed on the station's behalf. I just couldn't get my mind off Parker, couldn't get my mind off last night.

It'd been so…

Perfect.

We fit together in a way I'd never fit with anyone, our movements somehow so in sync despite neither one of us announcing our next one. Even blindfolded Parker was able to keep me enchanted, able to knock the breath right out of my lungs with his touch. It was a kind of witchcraft I wasn't sure they had a name for, the kind of thing that was going to keep haunting me throughout my day if I wasn't careful?—

"You're distracted."

Tyler's voice suddenly broke through my train of thought, knocking it off its tracks.

"What?" I said, sounding just as distracted as he'd accused me of being. I coughed to clear my throat, wanting to reestablish the balance between us. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you've been staring at your laptop forever, but I haven't heard you type a thing." He smirked as he went on. "I'd say that qualifies as being pretty damn distracted, don't you?"

"Fine. You caught me." I shrugged. "I'm a little distracted today but it's nothing I can't recover from?—"

"Is this about Parker?"

"I…" I suddenly stumbled over my words, failing to come up with anything that sounded like a coherent thought. "Uh…"

"I mean, it's obviously about Parker, right?" Tyler laughed. "Francis told us what was going on with you two at the make out cave. Nice one, by the way, getting away from us at the beer place so you two could get some alone time?—"

"I don't know if we should be talking about this at work?—"

"If we don't talk about it at work, where are we gonna talk about it?" He laughed again. "Seriously, though. I get it. Hooking up with someone new always eats up all of my brain space, too."

He then placed another stack of papers on my desk before he added, "Oh, George wanted you to look these over. He said to let him know if you had any questions."

"Got it." I nodded as I took the papers into my hand. I quickly noticed that the majority of them were blank except for one huge bold letter in the center of each of them. I began to sort them out, connecting one letter to another in my head, my lips quietly reading the phrase they spelled out loud:

R E T I R E M E N T P A R T Y T O N I G H T

Y O U R T U R N K I D D O

"Wait…" I was struggling to process the words I'd just read, my heart starting to race behind my chest. "Does this actually mean what I think it means?"

"Congratulations, Nicholas!" Tyler was beaming as I looked back up at him. "I told you that promotion was yours if you wanted it."

"Holy shit…" I set the papers back down on my desk, as the realization slowly washed over me. "Holy shit! George wants me to take over for him?"

"Not so fast." Tyler grinned as he shook his head. "There's a whole process to it. George isn't just going to hand you the keys to the place?—"

Tyler's response was cut off by me hastily pulling him into a too-tight hug, excitement flowing through my veins. "Holy shit! Tyler! Holy shit!"

"Whoa. Are you hugging me right now?" Tyler chuckled. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"Where's George?" I asked as I pulled away from Tyler, the question coming out much louder than I'd intended. "Is he back in his office?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's?—"

Once again, Tyler's response was cut short, this time by me rushing out of my office and right into George's. I knocked on his door while I was already standing in the door frame, feigning politeness despite the million questions I had burning through my chest.

George's face lit up when he noticed me, soon resting the pen in his hand against a nearby notepad.

"So, I'm assuming Tyler delivered my message?"

"Are you serious?" I pressed. "Is this real? As in, this is really happening?"

"You think I'd waste my time trying to prank you, kid?"

"I just wasn't expecting this so soon?—"

"Oh, it's not that soon." George let out a light chuckle. "We're having the retirement party now but make no mistake. I'll still be in charge around here for a few more weeks. This is more of a formality, gives everyone a chance to grieve my future absence and to make whatever plans they need to make. Like you, needing to plan how you're going to move all your crap from your desk into my office."

"I'm not going to let you down, George." It was all I could think to say, my brain so muddled with the news. "I'm going to do the absolute best I can to live up to your legacy and?—"

"I know you will, kid." George smiled. "Why the hell do you think I picked you?"

He then picked up his pen, his attention going back to his notepad. "Oh, by the way, about the retirement party?"

"Yeah?"

"It's customary for the next-in-line to plan it. I advise you to take an hour or two and figure out what you want to do for me and the guys. It doesn't need to be extravagant. You know I'm not that fancy. But I would like some good beer options. Maybe one of those brands only available across the border?"

"Across the border. Got it." I nodded, already stepping out of his office, a part of me worried that he was going to change his mind about the promotion right then and there. "I'm on it."

"You better be!" George playfully scoffed at me. "Can't wait to see what you come up with, kid!"

"Weird question. How are you when it comes to party planning?"

I was pacing back and forth at my desk, with Parker on the other end of the line. The news of being next in line to George's position had made it so I couldn't have sat down if I'd wanted to, too much nervous energy building up underneath my skin.

"What kind of party planning?" Parker asked. "Like a birthday? Or like a wake? Which is also technically a party, I think, just a huge bummer?—"

"Retirement party for George. He sprung it on me super last minute and expects me to plan it for him by tonight."

"George? Your boss, George?"

"The one and only."

"Hmm." Parker hummed, a few moments passing before he spoke again. "Okay, I know this might sound a little lame but?—"

"But?"

"I think you should have it at the fire station," he went on. "George loves that place, right? And that way, everyone's already there. You just need to figure out the food and drinks and everything else is pretty much set."

"That's a pretty good idea."

"Thanks. I pride myself on having those every once in a while."

"Okay. So, hosting it at the fire station…" My words trailed off, as I tried to put the final pieces together in my head. "We could probably place a pretty large beer order at the liquor store down the street. And for food, there's this Italian place he loves that does grinders and subs—Shit!"

"Shit? What shit?"

"The place is run by takeout purists. They don't like taking orders by phone. They make you show up, pay in person and it takes forever to get everything together." I groaned. "There's no way I'm going to be able to take care of that when I still have so much paperwork to get through here?—"

"Let me take care of it," Parker insisted. "It's not like I've got a packed schedule or anything."

"Are you sure? I don't want you running errands for me while you're on vacation, Parker?—"

"Just leave it to me, sir." Parker's tone was sultry and low before it returned to its usual brightness. "Seriously, though. I've got this. Just give me the address of the Italian place. Oh, and for the liquor store, too."

"You're a lifesaver, Parker Evans."

"Maybe this will make us equal, then, after the whole you-literally-saving-my-life-thing." He chuckled. "I'll see you at the station at around seven? Does that work?"

"That'd be perfect."

I'd been right about my inability to get away from the paperwork on my desk anytime soon. It'd taken me the rest of the day to finish filing everything away, uploading information to the cloud, making copies of documents, and so on. I'd been so lost in the work of it that I barely noticed the clock on my wall getting nearer and nearer to seven.

But I was instantly reminded of the retirement party when the smell of Italian deli meats and cheeses wafted through my closed door. My stomach rumbled at the scent, as I logged out of my work laptop and headed for the hall, eager to get a bite to eat and consult with Parker about tonight's planned festivities.

I spotted Parker once I made my way into the cafeteria, surrounded by tray after tray of food covered in aluminum pans. He'd gotten enough take-out to feed a small army, which was a great call considering the guys at the fire station tended to eat like a small army, too.

"Thanks for doing this, Parker," I started as I moved closer to him. "You really didn't have to?—"

"Of course, I did," he interrupted, with a smile. "What was I supposed to do? Let you let down your boss? No way."

"Still. It was really nice of you to get everything sorted out in such a short amount of time."

"Again, what was I supposed to do?" Parker chuckled. "Also, don't act so surprised when people want to do nice things for you. You're a pretty nice guy, Nicholas. You deserve nice things, too."

Parker nodded toward a corner of the room, where a few boxes of beer were stacked on top of each other. "Oh, and I hope I got the assortment right. I was trying to remember what George was drinking on our snowmobile trip but even if I got it wrong, there should still be plenty to choose from?—"

I interrupted Parker's words with a kiss, my lips softly pressing against his own.

"Thank you," I murmured, before kissing him again, just as sweet.

"You're welcome," he murmured back, in between our kisses, his arms wrapped around my waist.

For a moment, it felt like the fire station, the impromptu party, the rest of the world disappeared, nothing was more important than being this close to Parker, nothing was more important than pulling him closer into my arms. I didn't want to break off our connection, even though I knew at any minute the guys were going to start pouring through the cafeteria door, hungrily tearing the lids off the trays and bantering over bottles of beer.

Reluctantly, though, I felt Parker shift his mouth away from mine. "Hey, why'd your boss leave it to you to plan his retirement party, anyway? Shouldn't that have been a whole station sort of deal?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but suddenly all the right words turned into shards in my throat.

The promotion.

Why was the truth refusing to come out of my mouth, frozen somewhere on my tongue, my lips putting on a full protest? I racked my brain for an answer, and it came to me as I looked down into Parker's eyes, his expression patient yet expecting me to say something, sooner or later.

The promotion meant being away from Parker.

Permanently.

I knew what it took to run a fire station. I knew George's long hours and commitment to the team. I knew how much it was going to take out of me, how much time it was going to take up on my calendar, how impossible it would've made something like a long-distance relationship?—

Wait.

What the hell was I thinking right now?

A long-distance relationship?

Parker and I hadn't gone past practical.

So, why the hell was I thinking about how my future promotion was going to affect my non-existent relationship?

"Nicholas?" Parker lightly chuckled as he quirked an eyebrow in my direction. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," I lied, trying to push the thoughts that'd crept to the front of my mind all the way to the back. "Sorry. I just got a little lost in thought."

"P-man!" Tyler came through the cafeteria door, offering Parker a pair of finger-guns. "How've you been since the snow?"

"I've been pretty good." Parker returned the finger-guns before he motioned toward the trays of food. "Help yourself, by the way."

"Whoa. Is this for George's retirement party?" Tyler was already making his way toward one of the sub trays. "Fuck me. That smells good. Is this from that place on Main Street?"

"Hundred percent."

"Kiss-ass." Tyler threw a smirk over at me before he shouted at the top of his lungs, "Hey guys! Come get it while it's hot!"

"For he's a jolly good fellow! Which nobody can deny!"

The fire station cafeteria was alive with song, so loud that it was nearly deafening to listen to. I was sitting at one of the corner tables with Parker, Tyler, and a few of the other guys from the station, seemingly too busy with their own conversation to notice what we were saying in ours. I'd been slowly sipping on the same beer since the party had started, wanting to keep my wits about me so I didn't let anything slip…

So I didn't end up telling Parker about the promotion before I was ready to.

"This is a damn good party, Nicholas," Tyler said, after taking another bite of his sub. "I'm surprised you were able to throw it together so fast."

"I barely had anything to do with it," I admitted, wrapping an arm around Parker's shoulders. "You can thank Parker for everything. He arranged all of it."

"Uh-oh. Am I looking at a power couple right now?" Tyler chuckled. "God, Nicholas. When you get that promotion you're going to be unstoppable?—"

"Did you want anything else to eat? Drink?" I spoke over Tyler, hoping that Parker hadn't caught the last thing he'd said. "I can grab you whatever you want?—"

"Promotion?" Parker's tone was lined with curiosity. "Wait, Tyler. Didn't you say something about that when we were snowmobiling? Some kind of promotion?"

"Yeah, I was talking about this guy." Tyler pointed to me as he spoke. "Once George retires, he's going to be our new boss." Tyler then laughed before he finished with his thoughts. "Why do you think I'm trying to get on his good side? It's not for my health."

"New boss?" Parker looked over at me, an expression that I couldn't quite read slowly spreading across his face, his features heavy with it. "That sounds?—"

"Everybody quiet down and shut up!" George was speaking now as he climbed onto one of the tables. Once his feet were firmly in place, he continued. "I just wanted to say thanks to all the guys for staying past their shift to help me celebrate this momentous occasion! I finally get to spend my nights away from you bozos and with my wife. Who, no offense, is a lot prettier than the majority of you lot."

The room erupted in laughter and applause, some of the guys even banging their mugs of beer against the tables.

"We'll miss you, George!"

"Give your wife a kiss for us!"

"Don't forget to write!"

"Oh, I'm never talking to any of you again." George laughed before he waved a hand toward me. "Except for one of you. Hey, Nicholas? Get up here!"

Dread settled into my stomach as I did as I was told, soon shifting away from Parker and joining George on the table. The room erupted in cheers again, complete with hoots and hollers. It felt strange to know that if this were any other day, if Parker hadn't been in the room, this would've probably been one of the greatest moments of my life.

Fuck.

I should've been elated. I should've been honored.

Instead, all I wanted to do was get whatever George had planned over with as soon as possible.

"Nicholas Cooper. What the hell can I even say?" George sighed as he patted me on the back. "When you came to me all those years ago and told me you wanted to be a firefighter… do you remember what I said back then?"

"You told me that it takes more than muscle to be a firefighter. You told me that it takes the kind of heart that most people never have in their lifetime. It takes a heart of service."

"A heart of service. That's right." George beamed. "I didn't know it at the time but I was looking at the fucking embodiment of the job. Shit, if I knew you were coming around the corner, I would've started planning my retirement party that same day."

George laughed at his own joke as he looked back out at the crowd. "Now, it's not official yet, so don't go crazy. But I'm sure most of you have heard the rumors about who'll be stepping up to the plate after me. And I just wanted to say… I couldn't have asked for a better man to take my place. You're like a son to me, Nicholas. And you're like a brother to us all."

George seemed to get choked up, his final words breaking apart. "…You're going to do great things, kid. That's it. That's all I wanted to say. And I'm just happy that I got to be a part of your story."

When he was done talking, George pulled me in for a tight hug. I hugged him back, just as tight, not used to him being that vulnerable, not used to him wearing his heart on his sleeve. I caught a glimpse of Parker over George's shoulder, a sadness in his eyes despite the plastered-on smile across his face. I then watched as Tyler clapped him on the arm, saying something that made them both laugh before the sadness slid back across Parker's features.

A knife.

It felt like a small knife being twisted inside of my stomach.

A pain that I wouldn't have been able to reach if I'd tried, the object too small, the pain's reverberation too, too big.

All I could do was smile when George let me out of his embrace.

Smile even though the pain was only getting worse.