28. Dia

Chapter twenty-eight

Dia

I don't know what I have gotten myself into. This night has been…unsettling, to say the least.

The latch locks behind Yera and Arrick's room, and I make my way back to the sconce-lit hallway.

These walls I've known all my life seem unfamiliar now. I press my hand to the cold stone. A sensation that used to bring calm and clarity now storms my mind with thoughts I've never experienced before.

In one night, my entire world crashed down around me—things I held dear and worked for now seem petty and illogical.

The harsh stares of my subordinates still scorch the backs of my retinas when I close my eyes and think about them. My hand goes to the bridge of my nose and pinches, but the tension in my head remains.

Even though the lids of my eyes weigh heavy, no sleep will find me a willing participant tonight, not after everything.

As I walk, my delicate satin shoes glide over the stone floor and my dress billows over my feet—the perfect image of a queen, a leader.

As I turn the corner towards the throne room, I abruptly halt. In the hall, Stormland Vaki stands with his back turned to me. I hold my breath. This is the last person I wanted to encounter alone. None of the anger I felt tonight was more palpable than his. I got the distinct sense that he would have torn me to pieces if given the opportunity.

I back away slowly, thankful for the soft fabric I'm adorned with, masking my sounds.

His head whips to me when I move, and his deadly assessing stare locks me into place. Fear is a sensation I'm unaccustomed to now that my father is gone, and the relapse of its impending presence rattles my bones.

He stalks over to me, anger marking his face and his movements. The power I was born with starts to sizzle and vibrate in my veins, reminding me I am powerful. Granted, what I did to him was unforgivable, and I don't expect us ever to be friendly, but I will not accept intimidation. He rounds on me, getting so close I feel the heat coming off his body.

"Heading to your penthouse, My Lady?" The ire oozes from his lips, and I suck in a breath.

"I was going back into the throne room. I clearly have much work to do." The sarcasm in my voice isn't lost on him. A small smile crooks the corner of his mouth.

"By all means." He lowers his head in a mock gesture. "Don't let me interrupt your journey of self-discovery." His green eyes are molten. I would eviscerate him here and now if I were a lesser person. His insubordination is unacceptable.

"Look." I raise my eyes to his, all defiance and command. "I know what I did was a mistake, and I will regret my actions for longer than you'll exist. But do not forget, I am the reigning queen with all the power bestowed upon me at birth. It would be wise for you to remember that, Kalevi." Before I can turn and leave him with my threat hanging in the air, he grabs my arm and wrenches me back to him.

"Don't you forget, we, the creatures of the forest, originally gifted your lineage the powers you have now. We should have taken it from your family years ago. Don't threaten me, Highness, unless you're willing to contend with every creature in the Stormlands." Our faces are so close I could spit on him. I want to spit on him. I want to punish him for speaking to me this way, to wield my influence and power as I did before. He sees my thoughts reeling, the conflict between who I was and who I should become apparent.

He drops my arm and unlocks his intense gaze from mine. "Goodnight, Highness. There is much work to be done tomorrow."

He turns and walks away from me without looking back. His colossal frame vanishes into the dark corridor, and I release the breath burning in my lungs.

The lights are still illuminated in the small chamber. A few papers, strewn with scratched notes and crude maps, lay around the large table. Sighing, I collect all of them, stacking them neatly into a pile. The paper is thick and heavy in my palms. I reset the seating, spacing the ornate chairs evenly apart. Regaining order, if only in one place, helps calm my mind .

I find a stack of blank pages. I momentarily look at the pile, imagining it filled with plans and declarations—a new way of life for my people and me.

I place the stack of paper in front of me and sit, positioned at the table's side, not the front. I am resigning myself from this moment on to be an active listener. The head of the table is reserved for those who bring their ideas to my court. I smile a little at that thought. Then, I put pen to paper, writing it all down.

***

"Your Majesty?" A gentle tap on my shoulder and a low, concerned voice wakes me from my sudden slumber.

My head jerks up, and I realize a piece of paper is stuck to the side of my face, where I must have been drooling. Shit, this is beyond embarrassing. The large orc looking down at me has a slight smile on his face. I can tell he's attempting to mask the humor by setting a hard line to his jaw, but it's no use.

I peel the paper from my cheek. The ink leaves the imprint of a formal declaration on my face. At least it's…formal.

Some sentences on the paper look faded, their mirrored half no doubt imprinted on my face. I run my fingers through my soft auburn hair and sigh in frustration. "There is ink on my face, isn't there?"

The orc looks down at me again, assessing. "Yes, there is a bit of black on your cheek. How about you go take a long, hot shower, and I'll get this cleaned up and send for some breakfast?"

I look at him, puzzled. Why is he being so helpful, kind even? Was this simply something I never noticed before? A wave of guilt and regret floods my consciousness, but I choke it back. I'm here. Learning and realizations like this will be commonplace for a while.

"Thank you—I'm sorry, I don't believe I know your name." I hold out my hand in greeting.

He takes my hand in his, dwarfing mine. "Ben, Your Majesty."

"Well, thank you for being so kind and understanding, Ben. You have every right not to be." I look down, not meeting his gaze, letting my shame wash over me.

"I think things are going to get better. I believe you will change, and I'm happy to be included. No good will be done if we aren't kind to one another and work together."

That knocks the wind out of me. "I hope you're right. I'll be back in a bit…after I get this ink off my face," I say, blushing a little, knowing there is still black staining my cheek.

My skirts swish at my feet as I billow back down the hallway to my quarters, knowing that nothing will be the same when I return, and I'm glad for it.