14. Nic

Chapter 14

Leia jammed herself into the corner of the backseat, taking up as little room as possible, at least half an acre away from me. I left my hand resting in the gap between us, but she didn't take it. She didn't even look at me, even though I ached to touch her, the desperation of the anger that had run unchecked through me still unfamiliar and slow to recede.

I watched her, trying to only glance in her direction occasionally, but she couldn't see. Her forehead rested against the window, and when I caught sight of her reflection, her eyes were closed.

"Leia."

She stiffened. I so rarely used her name, preferring to allow her the distance she wanted, but now I didn't want any distance between us at all. I wanted her closer physically so I could reassure myself she was all right, and I didn't want her to start to reject me. I needed her trust.

Fucking Sebastian.

That bastard wanted everything that was mine. My parents, my throne, my fucking mate.

I turned my head away in case Leia glanced in my direction. Anger had caused an ache in my gums, and I needed to regain control of myself before I could talk to her as I wanted.

Damn Sebastian. I never lost control.

"Nicolas?" Her voice was hesitant.

"I'm sorry about Sebastian." I pushed the words past fangs that didn't want to retract, like my body still somehow sensed a threat to my mate.

My words seemed to open whatever dam had been holding her own words in.

"I don't even know what happened," she said. "I mean, what the hell was that? Why did Sebastian suddenly react like that? I was just… He just… I was looking at…" But she didn't finish, and I couldn't contain a dark chuckle.

"But you weren't in the ballroom." My heartrate picked up. She hadn't been safe. I'd almost been too late again.

"I… He's your brother." Her tone was flat, and she was right. It shouldn't have mattered.

In any normal fucking family, it wouldn't have mattered. My brother. The safest person she should have been with. But not the royal vampire family of Baton Rouge. Not any vampire family.

I clenched my first and rested it on my knee. "Sebastian has…issues."

"Then why was he there? Why did your uncle let me leave the room with him?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but Leia jumped back in.

"And don't even try to make this my fault for leaving the room again. Don't think I missed that the first time." She paused, and she'd clearly left the you bastard unsaid on the end of that last sentence.

I sighed. "No. No, you're right. I'm sorry."

"Where were you? Where did you go? Why do you keep taking me places and leaving me? The roof. The restaurant. The party." She listed my sins, and each one was like she scorched another mark on my heart.

I swallowed. "I was close by. Close enough to…help. I didn't intend for you to leave the restaurant or to leave the ballroom. And certainly not with…" Fuck. My gums ached again and I'd just regained control. "With Sebastian."

"But what the hell happened to your brother?" When she looked at me, barely contained fury shone in her eyes. "Did you see him? His eyes were cold and angry and kind of dead-looking, and his mouth was weird. Like he'd suddenly grown a bunch more teeth in there. I couldn't work out if he wanted to kill me or eat me. He was strong, too. And fast."

She shuddered, her fear and revulsion visible.

Fuck. She'd seen too much. She was skirting too close to the truth now. I sighed again, strategically this time, the sigh of a long-suffering sibling tired of his brother's antics.

"I'm sorry." I could keep apologizing and it would never be enough. "He really does have his problems." That much was true. My parents had spoiled their made children, treating them as well as they treated me, and they'd made Sebastian entitled. "He will never come near you again."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Never is a pretty big promise, Nicolas."

Then she narrowed her eyes and angled her body toward me, and I got ready to sigh again. Or apologize. This could go either way. None of this conversation was turning out well, and I didn't think I'd ever sighed as much in my life.

"Speaking of never seeing him again, weird question, but…have I ever seen him before?" She touched her temple and grimaced like something had hurt her.

"No." I gripped the handle on the door, almost afraid to ask, and fucking hell, I was never afraid. Only this ridiculous human affected me like that. Ridiculous human… Who the hell was I kidding? Her power over me and my kind was immense. "Why?" I forced myself to ask.

"Because…" She looked uncertain, one corner of her mouth tugging on her cheek. "I mean, I had the weirdest sense of déjà-vu when he was up against me. Breathing on my neck, telling me I smelled nice… Shit." She waved a hand. "That's just any drunk guy looking to get some, right? But it felt… I don't know. Familiar? Recent?"

I closed my eyes briefly. Dammit. My compulsion wouldn't hold much longer, not if her memories were already struggling to resurface. I'd deliberately only used light compulsion—enough to relax her and push bad memories to the very back of her mind, not take them away completely—but this was a fast recovery.

She'd had that amethyst pendant on, so maybe it was that acting against my abilities, or perhaps it was her ancestry that had conflicted the results. She came from a long line of strong women. More than strong. Gifted, and Leia was the result of all that powerful Louisiana blood. A gift from the ages just for me.

That she was already asking questions meant only one thing—I'd have to tell her who I was. What I was. But I looked at her, taking in her pale face, her teeth nibbling her lower lip, the too-wide eyes with purple marks beneath, and shook my head slightly.

Not now.

She was too fragile now.

We arrived home, my hand still uselessly on the seat between us, and Jenkins opened her door first. She almost sprinted toward the open front door, stopping only briefly to greet Baldwin before barreling through, and I jogged to catch up to her.

"Leia." I used her name again as I reached for her, but she flinched away.

"I think I just need to be alone." She drew in on herself, becoming smaller even as I watched.

"But I can help," I said, even though I called bullshit on myself. I had no right to tell her I could help when I didn't know if I could do anything at all. But I wanted her near me. She kept wandering away, and that clearly wasn't safe.

"No." Her eyes blazed with sudden fire. "No, Nicolas, you can't help. I don't trust you to keep me safe. I don't want you near me."

She took a step towards the stairs like she was edging to safety, and the movement lit a spark of my own anger.

"Where are you going?" My words came out tight and controlled.

"To my room." She was defiant, still edging away. "To be alone, like I said."

"Your room in my house, during my month." I spat out the words, awareness at my own stupidity already echoing through my thoughts.

My house? My month? Who the hell had I become? My father?

"You're safer with me." I tried to gentle my voice, but it still came out as a command.

She barked out a sudden laugh. "That's rich. I was with you this evening if I recall—"

"You left," I interjected, my voice flat. "You left with Sebastian and endangered yourself."

Leia's skirts rustled as she climbed several steps, putting herself above me before she turned around. Fuck, she was beautiful when she was angry. Fire and fury blazed from her, and I basked in it even as I railed against it, wanting her back under my control.

"I wasn't safe at the home of your family, or with your brother, and I no longer feel safe here. Connect the dots, Dupont. You haven't kept me safe. You can't keep me safe. I'd be safer if I left. Maybe you're the boogeyman, too."

Her use of my last name was a slap in the face, and I stepped closer to the stairs, grabbing hold of the end of the winding bannister where it finished in a tight spiral, my knuckles whitening, the wood threatening to crack under the force of my grip.

My chest heaved with the injustice of Leia running from me based on my brother's actions.

"I would never scare you like Sebastian did." Then I checked myself and lowered my voice. Shouting at her wasn't the best way to convince her of the sincerity of my words. "Why would you think me capable of that?"

"Because you're brothers. You share blood," she said, and then she whirled away, flouncing up the stairs.

On the sharing blood thing, she was very wrong indeed. I would never share the same blood as Sebastian, and he would most certainly not share anything that was mine.

I prowled through the first floor of my home, then the basement, irritable and aware of Leia's presence, lurking like a shadow in the east wing. The same shadow lurked in my head, nudging me into a constant state of arousal and desire. Just knowing she was close by made me want her, even as I wanted to comfort her and make her feel safe. I had a desire to protect her as much as fuck her. It burned like a fierce need in my chest.

When the need grew too much, I stormed up the stairs, hesitating outside the doors to the east wing. She'd closed them, mirroring the doors of the west wing—a clear indication that I wasn't welcome in her space.

I whirled away and unlocked the doors to the west wing, slamming them for the sheer theater of ensuring Leia knew I'd also rejected her this evening. I hoped she cared.

Except. Fuck. No. I didn't care if she cared at all. I didn't need her to want me. Just to accept me willingly. I didn't care how she fucking felt. I didn't feel anything at all.

Apart from anger.

I shoved the rejection down and ignored it.

I walked toward my room then stopped, resting my hand on the doorhandle of the first door I came across. I kept this room closed. I never looked inside. This room had been reserved for decades for my bride.

But now I flung the door open and strode inside, my chest heaving with each deep inhale as I sought an outlet for my building rage. I had no bride.

I had no fucking bride. No queen. No way to secure my rule. And it seemed like I was blowing my one chance.

I tore through the room, pushing furniture over and ripping the white drapes on the four-poster bed. This was a room for my virgin, and she wouldn't even let me near her. She'd closed me out.

I whirled around the space like a tornado, tearing my nails down antique wood, releasing feathers from the pillows, and shredding soft furnishings. By the time I stood by the door, my chest still heaving, nothing in the room was usable anymore.

But it didn't matter.

She didn't fucking want me.

Shit. What was wrong with me?

I left my bride's room and…fuck. I needed a drink. I made my way to my… I laughed. My wine cellar. Except it wasn't wine. It was all neatly bagged and organized according to vintage, though.

My blood room was quiet with only the unrelenting hum of the refrigerators, and I immediately missed Leia. I felt the lack of her just as acutely as I ever felt her presence.

I grabbed and warmed a pouch of blood, but my stomach soured at the idea of drinking it, swallowing the too-thick, slightly curdled liquid that had already lost most of its vitality.

Maybe these would never satisfy me again. Not now I was so aware of the blood thrumming through Leia's body.

My blood.

I wanted her to come to me willingly, but maybe she never would. And that made this world unsafe for her. I rested my head back against my chair and stretched my legs out ahead of me, crossing them at the ankles.

It didn't need to be this difficult. And it wouldn't be if I just bit her. I could actually just bite her. I tilted my head as I mused on that. I wouldn't be able to continue as king if I forfeited her willing participation, but Leia would be safe from those looking to challenge me.

And she'd be mine.