Chapter 27

27

" D a!"

Charlotte tried to hold Ben back, but he was too strong. He rushed forward, desperate to check on his father, and Charlotte followed. She saw Alasdair hunched over, clearly in pain, with blood flowering around his boot from where Lennox had cut him. His shoulder was also red with blood.

"Ben," she called out, trying to catch him. But Ben was already at Alasdair, and he tumbled into his father's arms. She saw Alasdair flinch slightly as he circled his son in his arms, and she wondered how much pain he was feeling. She knew he wouldn't show it to his son.

"I'm alright," Alasdair assured the boy. "I'm alright."

"Ye're hurt," Ben said, scanning his father's body, but Alasdair only shook his head.

"Nothing the healer can't fix. Though I have to admit, I'm not looking forward to the horse ride home."

Alasdair looked up with a sparkle of amusement in his eye. He caught Charlotte's gaze, and this tiny gesture made her eyes fill with tears. She had been terrified she would lose him.

Alasdair reached to her, still holding Ben against his chest. He held his hand out, and Charlotte grabbed hold, squeezing his hand as she tried to fill him with as much love and comfort as she could.

"I thought we would lose you," she whispered. "I thought you would be taken from me just as I learned how much you mean to me."

He seemed touched by the words. She saw a softening of his face and a gentle smile. The thunder of horses' hooves pulled them away from each other's gazes. They looked up to see Hayden and the two guards thundering toward them.

"Did ye see me?" Ben asked, nearly bouncing as he looked up at Hayden. "I followed the plan."

"That ye did," Hayden said, swinging down to the ground. Though Hayden kept his face cheerful, he went immediately to Alasdair to assess his wounds. He quickly untucked his shirt and tore the bottom of it to wrap Alasdair's ankle that was still losing blood.

"Is he all right?" Charlotte asked. She searched Alasdair's face, worried he was looking paler as he stood in front of her.

"I'm fine," Alasdair assured her, but she kept her eyes on Hayden, waiting for his confirmation.

"He's a stubborn one," Hayden said, standing up from his impromptu doctoring. "I've seen him grit his teeth through worse."

Hayden turned to Ben and congratulated him on his role in the plan. Charlotte had surmised that it was their plan all along for Alasdair to eliminate weapons from the hand-off while leaving Ben secretly armed. And when it was time, Ben took out his dirk and stabbed Lennox with all his might.

Alasdair stepped toward Charlotte, and his hand came to the side of her face. He caressed her, brushing hair back from her cheeks and staring deeply into her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Sorry? For what?"

"For leaving ye. For sending ye without guards. For not realizing that it was Lennox all along."

But Charlotte shook her head. She took his hand and held it.

"You couldn't have known," she told him. "You had no reason to think I was in danger."

"If I had kenned this would happen, I would have kept ye at the castle. I never would have let ye leave."

" I made the decision," Charlotte assured him. "Even if you had tried, I wouldn't have listened."

"Then I would keep ye against yer will," he burst out. Charlotte gave a knowing laugh. "I should have done whatever I could to keep ye with me."

Her heart was full from his words and the feel of his hand on her cheek. She leaned into that feeling and then reached to wrap her arms around his chest. She hugged him, needing to feel the solid form of him in her arms. She pressed her face against his chest and felt the comforting up and down of his breathing.

"Yes," she whispered, a teasing tone in her voice. "You should have locked me up and thrown away the key."

She turned her head up to catch his eye.

"I love you," she said. There was no hesitation in Charlotte's voice. After the events of the past few days, she was resolved to tell Alasdair exactly how she felt, no matter the consequences.

"I ken," he said, surprising her. Charlotte stepped back to see him more fully, certain he had more to say. "I love ye too."

"I know," Charlotte said.

He bent down and pressed his warm lips to her own. She was tired and sore, but Alasdair's touch brought instant comfort. They were still miles from O'Malley castle, but it felt like coming home.

Charlotte leaned into the kiss, letting her hands fall to his waist and then around his back, so she could pull him in closer. She wanted to stay like this forever, with Alasdair in her arms. She never wanted to let go.

"Yuck!"

She opened her eyes long enough to see Ben staring at them. Hayden gave him a playful knock on the head that had them all laughing. Alasdair gave her a final kiss, a gentle press of his lips against her own, and then he turned to the group.

"I think it's time to go."

He could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Lennox was gone and with him, the threat to Alasdair's family. Ben was safe, bouncing in front of them as he returned to the horses. And Charlotte was back in his arms. Alasdair walked with a lip, trying not to show them how painful his leg was from Lennox's cut.

He caught Hayden's eye and knew the man understood his pain and his stubborn will to keep quiet about it.

"Ben?" Charlotte's voice was gentle, and the boy immediately turned back to her. Alasdair recognized the pure trust his son had in this woman. He released Charlotte's hand as she stepped to him and kneeled.

"I'm sorry for stabbing him," Ben said as soon as she faced him. "It was only to save ye?—"

"It's not that," Charlotte chuckled, silencing him. "You were very brave."

Ben beamed, pleased to have Charlotte's approval. Alasdair saw him physically relax, releasing that childhood fear of getting scolded. He looked back with curiosity, waiting for Charlotte's next words.

"Why didn't you tell us?" she asked. There was pain in her voice. Alasdair knew she was remembering those bruises on Ben's body when she first found him, and the painful weeks when he couldn't speak to them.

"I couldnae," he answered. "I didnae want him to hurt Da."

Ben glanced up at his father, and Alasdair gave him a comforting smile. He was filled with pride for the boy, touched by how fearless he had been. Charlotte's mouth opened in surprise as she realized how close Lennox had been all along.

"You saw him at the castle," she realized, her voice full of awe and disbelief as she took Ben's hands in her own. "How brave you were to face him when you first returned to your home and again at the party. How could you do it?"

Ben shrugged, and his gaze dropped down to the ground. He squirmed under Charlotte's scrutiny. The day's events finally seemed to catch up to the boy, and he looked restless and anxious. Charlotte saw it too, and she backed off.

"It's all right," she said, squeezing Ben's hand. "We can talk about it when you're ready."

"Ye're a strong boy to protect yer faither," Hayden chimed in.

Alasdair saw Ben glance up at him, and he could tell his son wanted to say something. They all waited, giving Ben the time he needed.

"I couldnae bear it."

Ben spoke earnestly to his father, his voice full of love.

"I couldnae let anythin' happen to ye. Not again…"

His voice faltered, and Alasdair stepped forward.

"What do ye mean?" he asked. Charlotte looked over at him and gave the slightest nod of her head, encouraging Alasdair to get closer. She stood and stepped back, giving space for father and son.

"It's me fault ye are so scarred," Ben spit out, releasing guilt and pain that seemed to be bottled up tight inside of him. "I dinnae want ye to be wounded again. Or worse."

"These scars are not yer fault." Alasdair's voice was strong and firm, making Ben's head snap up to his face. He saw recognition in the boy's eyes as he heard how strongly Alasdair believed the words. "Ye arenae responsible for me wounds and this ugly mug."

Alasdair reached out and tapped Ben under the chin, a gesture of care and encouragement. Ben looked up and gave the smallest of smiles, but Alasdair could tell something was still bothering him. The smile didn't reach his son's eyes.

"What is it?" he asked. "Ben, ye had nothing to do with me injuries. Ye are innocent."

"I'm not," Ben mumbled.

The group waited, hoping Ben would tell them in his own time what was bothering him. Their patience paid off, and he finally looked up, tears gathering in his eyes.

"It's me fault."

"Ben, I already told ye—" Alasdair started, but Ben pushed forward.

"Me mother," he said. "It's me fault she died. Uncle Lennox told me so."

The tears fell down Ben's cheeks as he looked away, his face awash in shame. Alasdair was too stunned to move. He had never imagined Ben would take this guilt onto his shoulders. The child's pain was such a clear mirror of the pain Alasdair had carried for these two years that he almost couldn't breathe.

"Oh, Ben," Charlotte said. She pulled the child into her and hugged him. "That wasnae yer fault."

But Alasdair regained himself and pulled Ben away, desperate to look into the boy's eyes.

"It was Lennox who killed yer mother," he said firmly, needing Ben to understand. "He was the one who sent soldiers to kidnap ye. And his men swung the sword that injured her."

"But she was coming after me," Ben cried.

"Of course, she was," Alasdair agreed. "Because she loved ye more than anything in the world. Nothing could have stopped her from going to ye."

Ben sniffed and wiped his sleeve across his eyes. The words were helping, and Alasdair continued. For so long he had struggled to speak with his son or know the right words to say, but now, his thoughts came easily. Perhaps because he was speaking the very words he needed to say to himself.

"That man was consumed with his own guilt, Ben. He tried to push it onto ye and me, but we won't let him. Lennox Milligan killed his sister. And ye and I were forced to stand by and watch. We were bystanders, nothing more."

Ben threw himself at his father and hugged him tightly. Alasdair felt Ben's guilt seeping out of his body, and he breathed deeply. For Alasdair, coming to terms with that night would be a long and winding process, but he hoped he would find peace.

He caught Charlotte's eye and her gentle smile of support. She walked to them, and the three of them shared a warm hug. How good it felt to know they were all safe. How comforting to be together again.

For now.

Alasdair pulled away, suddenly imagining Charlotte on her way back to the orphanage. He remembered the words they had shared in the carriage when she had told him in no uncertain terms that she needed to go back.

"Let's go," Alasdair said as he limped toward the horse.

Charlotte wiped the last of Ben's tears and guided him to the horses, noting the change in Alasdair. His shoulders were stiffer, and he seemed to be avoiding her gaze. Hayden mounted his horse, and Charlotte helped Ben in front of him. She would ride with Alasdair though his sudden coldness was making her wonder if she should ask to ride with the guard.

"Are you all right?" she whispered as Alasdair held a hand out, guiding her to the horse. She saw Alasdair pause at the question.

"Aye," he nodded. "We are all alive. I couldnae ask for more."

But she knew this wasn't the truth. There was an unspoken question hanging between them, and Charlotte had a feeling she knew what it was.

"Where shall I take ye?" he asked stiffly, unable to look her in the eye. Charlotte gave a warm smile.

"Home."

He looked back at her, and she saw the tentative hope in his eyes, a desperate desire that he might hear what he wanted to hear. But Charlotte saw him holding back, as if stealing himself for a different answer. But despite all the questions swirling around in her head, all the worries about Sarah and the children at the orphanage, Charlotte knew there was only one thing to tell him.

"I love you," she whispered, drawing Alasdair closer to her. "I was so scared to think I might lose you."

He stared back at her, gripping her hand hard in his own. She squeezed his hand and leaned in, letting her mouth press against his. She pressed her forehead against his own, hoping all the love she was feeling could pour from her heart into his.

"I couldn't imagine a world without you," she said quietly. The wind whipped around them, and the waves crashed at the bottom of the cliffs. Though they were surrounded by others, Charlotte felt like they were the only two people in the world.

"It took me far too long to realize it," she told him, "but I can't live in a place that doesn't have you and Ben in it. You are my home."

A smile broke out on Alasdair's face, and he leaned in to kiss her, his mouth insistent and desperate. He crashed his body into hers, eliminating any distance between them.

"Home is where you are," she continued, smiling as he kissed her over and over again. "Home is where Ben is. Wherever the two of you are, that's where I want to be."

He hugged her fiercely, drawing her in with a quick and decisive action that made Charlotte give a little squeal of surprise. They both laughed, overwhelmed by the joy of the moment and exhausted from the events of the past two days.

"I love ye," Alasdair whispered into her hair.

"And I love you," Charlotte agreed. "Let's go home."