Chapter 48

Chapter Forty-Eight

Maddy

" D o you think this is how it feels to die?" I asked Zak as he ran his fingers through my hair.

He chuckled, dipping down to kiss the top of my head. "It'll get better, babe."

Without moving my head because it hurt when I did, I looked up at him. "Thank you for the magic drink. It was disgusting, by the way."

"Blame my dad, it's his concoction. He was the one who suggested that I bring it over."

"He knows how drunk I was?" Lifting my fingers against my face, I groaned. "I won't be able to face them ever again."

"They know it wasn't you. They know it was Ana who spiked your drink." Smoothing a warm hand across my brow, Zak sighed heavily. "What are you going to do about her?"

"I don't want to have to think about it." The pain in my temples intensified for a few seconds. "Dad wanted to talk to her mum, but I think I've persuaded him to leave it. I really don't need that kind of trauma. She's in a bad enough mood as it is."

"I wouldn't care about what sort of mood she's in."

"Zak," I said on a sigh. "She's my best friend."

"Who did something that could have been dangerous." His exhale was harsh. "She was irresponsible, stupid and?—"

"Zak!"

A spike of anger hit me, sending a shooting pain to my head and making my heart miss a beat. It was anger, disappointment, and betrayal all mixed together. Ana was my friend, and I'd known her a lot longer than I had Zak, and it felt wrong for him to be bad mouthing her. As much as she was in the wrong, no matter how angry I was with her, I still felt like I should defend her. I should have some loyalty to her.

"Maddy," he hit back.

Sitting up, I shuffled away from him, taking the thick woollen throw with me. "I'm sure she didn't know how bad we'd get," I said, all snippy and annoyed.

Zak frowned, spinning one of his rings around. "Are you pissed off with me because I'm pissed off with Ana?"

"No," I lied.

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you expect, Maddy? You were absolutely ruined because she slipped vodka into your drink. Enough to make you and Emma puke like I've never seen puke before." He turned to face me, lifting his knee to the sofa and keeping one foot on the floor. "Do you know how worried me, and Liam were about you both?"

"Yes, I know, so you've told me." I just about stopped at rolling my eyes, mainly because it hurt when I did.

"It was totally stupid. What if we hadn't been there? What if there'd been some dick lads who decided to take advantage of you both? Another couple of drinks and you wouldn't have been able to see, never mind stand." His jaw was tight as he gritted out the words, his fisted hand pushing into his seat as he emphasised the danger he'd considered us to be in. "The thought of that makes me feel sick."

"I'm sorry, I should have been more careful, but she's my friend, Zak."

He shook his head, disdainfully. "Friends don't do that sort of thing."

"It was a joke," I stressed.

"Well, I don't really see it that way." He shifted a little closer. "A joke makes you laugh, and there was nothing funny about last night."

"Seriously, Zak."

A tight knot developed in my chest as our eyes met. Zak's were full of fear, and I couldn't understand why. I'd been drunk, and yes, Ana had done got me in that condition, but I'd been safe. It wasn't like I hadn't been drunk before.

"Why are you getting so uptight about it." Grabbing a cushion, I hugged it to my stomach, pressing my fingers into it. "We were fine. You and Liam were there. Loads of people from our year were there."

"But what if we hadn't been? What if you'd been at a party with people you didn't know?" He gave a frustrated sigh. "Your best friend was there, and she was the one who got you into that state."

"And you've never spiked anyone's drink, ever ?"

He shook his head, his lips tight and thin. "Never."

I scoffed and felt the sofa dip as Zak moved closer to me.

"I haven't and never would."

"Okay, I believe you, but you don't need to get so uptight about Ana. I'll speak to her."

"I know you think I'm overreacting Maddy, but I've seen what something like that can do to people."

I frowned. "What do you mean? When?"

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and then licked his lips. "My friend had her drink spiked at a party once and ended up being sexually assaulted. If it hadn't been for one of my mates walking in on them she would probably have been raped. She's been traumatised ever since. She never goes out and doesn't trust anyone." Inhaling through his nose, he shook his head. "That is not what I want to happen to you."

I felt a sudden flash of guilt as I saw Zak's fear replaced with sadness. It was clear that he'd been affected by his friend's trauma, and I understood a little more why he was so angry about what Ana had done.

Throwing the cushion to one side, I moved closer to him and grabbed his hand. Instantly, his fingers wrapped around mine and squeezed them tight, tension, fear and sadness coming off him in waves.

"I'm sorry about your friend."

Zak breathed out as he nodded. "She's still suffering because of it, and when I saw you like that, well it brought it all back and honestly, Mads," he said pulling me closer, "I was petrified about what could have happened. I wish that I'd taken more notice of what was happening at that party. If only I'd noticed how out of it Ruby was. But I didn't."

It made sense as to why he was so angry with Ana for what she'd done. Why he was insistent that I speak to her. "Did they get whoever did it?"

He shook his head. "When Oscar walked in and saw what was happening, he pulled the guy off Ruby. He punched Oscar and ran out, though. No one knew who he was and there was, and Ruby was the only one who'd spent much time with him, and of course, she couldn't remember anything about him. Oscar saw what he was doing and clearly how far he was going to take it." He sat back, taking me with him so that I was sitting in his lap. "Seeing you like that it just brought it all back."

When he brushed my messy hair from my face, I leaned into his touch, enjoying the coolness of his palm against my hungover heated skin.

"I'm sorry that you were scared for me. And I promise that I'll speak to Ana about it."

He sagged and breathed out, letting his forehead drop to mine. "Only if you want to do it for you. Please don't do it for me. I'm just being over protective." Placing a soft kiss on my lips, Zak's thumb stroked my jaw. "I'd hate it if anything happened to you."

"Nothing will." I grinned against his mouth. "Not with you taking care of me."

"Always."

As Zak kissed me again, his hold on me tightened, it was almost desperate, and I wondered how much blame he'd taken on for his friend.

I slowly pulled away from him. "You know what happened to your friend wasn't your fault, Zak."

He drew in a breath and then slowly let it out. "It was my party," he whispered. "I didn't know half the people I'd invited. I'd put it out on social media and thought I was Billy fucking big bollocks, inviting a bunch of dickheads to my parents' big house while they were on holiday." His eyes fluttered closed as he exhaled slowly. "If I hadn't had that party, Maddy, then Ruby wouldn't have gone through what she did. What she's still going through." He exhaled heavily. "Thinking about that night is why I don't sleep well. Why I take random midnight drives in my mum's car."

Stroking my hand down his face, I looked him directly in the eye. "Zak, you weren't to know. There's only one person to blame, and it's the boy who spiked her. It was not your fault. All you did was hold a party, so give yourself a break. Please, babe."

His handsome face crumpled, and my throat prickled with emotion. I hated that he felt the pressure of blame when he didn't need to.

"She's so different, Mads," he whispered.

I inhaled, breathing in his heady cinnamon scent and leaned closer to him. "And that really isn't on you."

Giving him a soft kiss, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight, hoping that he would eventually give himself a break—that he knew how much I supported him. How I would always be there for him if he needed me.

"Fancy something to eat yet?" he asked me, stroking a hand down my hair.

I considered it for a moment and realised that my headache had subsided, and I actually felt hungry.

"Yes, that sounds good. Although, I don't know what I want."

Zak narrowed his eyes on me. "You don't know what you want? Are you actually my girlfriend?"

"Yes," I giggled. "Why?"

"Because you should know exactly what you want to eat." He nibbled at my jaw with his fingers digging into my hip. "What is our food?"

I could feel him growing hard beneath me, and while any other time I would be racing him up to my bedroom, I was still feeling a little too delicate for that. As Zak's mouth moved to my neck, I almost felt like I could give an equal contribution to sex, but my stomach growled and something sharp tapped my temple to remind me I would be less than useless.

"Chicken nuggets," I whispered as I dropped my head back to give him better access to my neck. "I'm hungry for chicken nuggets."

Zak smiled against my lips and gave my bum a squeeze. "There's my girlfriend. I knew that she was in there somewhere." Like some sort of sexy book hero, he stood with me still in his lap and carried me to the door, his mouth on mine the whole time.

"You know, you're very lovely," I told him.

Chuckling, he hoisted me further up his body and nipped my ear before whispering, "And so are you. Very, very lovely. Now let's get chicken nuggets."

And my hangover subsided just a little bit more.