Chapter 8

"Cut!" The director bellowed, hazel eyes glowering as he heaved himself out of his chair. "What the hell was that, Dani? Do you call that a performance? What is going on with you today?"

"I apologize- "Passing a hand over her forehead, she closed her eyes wearily. "I am a little tired- "

"That happens when you spend the entire night out, barely making it back in time for your first appearance."

"Back the hell off!" Jason blazed at him. "She said she is sorry- "

"I know you are her knight in fricking shining armor, but like you, I have work to do, and time is money. We have done this scene ten times now and we are losing the light." He glared at the actors; his face red with anger.

"Take a damn break. I am going to get something to eat and you- "He shot a glance at Dani. "Take a nap, have a drink, or do something and when we come back, it will be shown time."

"Dani- "

"Not now Jason." She told him firmly. "I need a minute." Without waiting for a response, she headed towards the back of the building where she located an arbor with a few padded benches for sitting. Taking the pack of cigars out, she lit one. Leaning back, she inhaled the fragrant aroma into her lungs and closed her eyes.

The day was beautiful, a kind of Indian summer with the sun shining brightly with scarcely a cloud in the sky. She was off her game and that had never happened to her before

It seems like there were a lot of firsts for her since she got here. The first time she had ever experienced so many orgasms, The first time she had cried when making love, the first time she had ever gone up in flames when touched by a man. Also, the first time she had ever gone to bed with one without insisting he use something.

And that was bothering her. She had been careless. She had never been careless before. She was definitely off her game, and it was screwing up her acting.

The footsteps on the cobbled path had her hissing out a resigned breath. "When I said that I wanted to be alone, I meant that literally."

"That's too damn bad." Sitting across from her, Jason gave her a hard stare, eyes narrowing at the slim cigar she was smoking. "I lit in on that asshole of a director, but he was not wrong.

What the hell is wrong with you, or should I hazard a guess? You came in with barely enough time for a wardrobe change and you appeared to be drunk. Only there was no scent of liquor on your breath. You also allowed that ass wipe to talk to you like that in front of everyone. That is not you."

"He was right." She murmured.

"And you are smoking. I thought you gave up that shit."

She glared at him before stubbing out the cigar and pitching it away from her. "You are not my keeper."

"I am your best friend, and something happened between last night and this morning to make such an impression, you appear to be in another zone."

"It's nothing."

"Try again and if you think I am leaving here without getting the full story, think again." Her blast of fury did nothing to faze him and with a defeated sigh, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "I am always in control.

After what happened to me when I was a child, you know, with my parents, I swore then and there that I would never allow anyone to be the driver in my life. I vowed that I would be in complete control of my emotions, all of it, because allowing someone else to navigate them is too risky and it only opens you up to hurt and pain."

Jason stared at her with a frown, his expression showing his anxiety. "What the hell happened last night?"

"We did not sleep."

"Girl." He breathed out lustily. "It's- I don't what to say. Yes, I do. The man has stamina."

"It's not a good thing and – "Bowing her head, she rubbed her temples slowly, trying to relieve the headache brewing there. "I am getting in too deep, and I cannot afford that." Abandoning his place, Jason came and sat next to her. "We cannot control what happens in our lives."

"Like hell, we can't!"

"Some things are above our control, and you are a smart woman, you know that. You have feelings for this man- "

"The sex is the best I ever had." She countered.

"And trying to make me jealous is not going to stop me from saying what needs to be said." He told her with an affronted look on his face.

"I was not trying to make you feel jealous- "She grinned at his woeful look. "Maybe I was."

"As I was saying, you have feelings for him, so why do you have to make it complicated?"

"It was the first time we were together, and I never expected- "

"To have all these strong impulses. You were at the scene bodily, but your heart was not there." He pointed out gently.

"I was just tired," she muttered defensively.

"No." he shook his head firmly. "I know you. We all do. Nothing stops you from performing your best. We would be out partying all night or traveling to a particular location and still, you manage to be brilliant. It's what you do Dani.

This is different. It's not about being up all night or most of it, it has to do with your state of mind. What this guy makes you feel is something you are not in control of, something you cannot help or stop and it's making you crazy."

"So, you are a shrink now?"

"I am your best friend and I happen to know you very well."

Her shoulders slumped wearily as the truth of what he said hit her. On the way back this morning with Taj leading the way, she had refused to think about what had happened at the cottage. Her instinct was warning her to stay away from him, but her body and emotions were refusing to listen.

"It's too much." She whispered hoarsely.

Jason hid his shock quickly as he reached over to pull her in his arms. "Would it be such a bad thing to go with the way you feel?" he asked her gently.

"I am leaving here as soon as we wrap up." Placing her head on his shoulder, she closed her eyes.

"It does not mean it has to end."

"It means exactly that. After I leave here, I am not coming back."

"Long distance- "

"Stop right there. This is going to be a wonderful interlude, something I intend to enjoy, and when the time comes, I will be saying goodbye to this place and him without looking back."

"Dani- "

"Enough!" she hissed. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Now, I am going to drink lots of coffee, grab something to eat, and take a twenty-minute nap. Wake me when the time is up." Pushing away from him, she rose and felt the dizziness assailing her for a bit, before walking away.

Jason stayed where he was, a frown touching his brow. She was lying to both of them and that wasn't something he was accustomed to. Whatever she was telling herself, he knew differently. His best friend was in for a startling change in her life, one she never saw coming.

*****

Taj was feeling the opposite. He had arrived at the ranch just in time to deal with the reroofing of the barn and to issue instructions about the flooding near the perimeter fencing that had been uprooted by the heavy rain just a few days ago.

He did his best to concentrate on the task at hand, but his mind kept jumping to the night and morning he had spent with her.

Christ Almighty! He thought in wonder. He had never felt anything like that in his entire life. It had blown him away and he could not wait to see her again. He was already making plans for the evening.

Barring any emergencies, which he was praying that there would be none, he was going to alert the kitchen and have them pack a basket so that they would have a meal and possibly breakfast. He was also planning that if she did not have to get to the set early in the morning, he would suggest they stay in bed and have breakfast there.

He did not dare think about the future. He still had time to try and convince her that she should stay here with him. But he was going to take things slow. She was frightened. He had seen her reaction this morning after that last tumultuous lovemaking.

He was also fearful that she would call a halt to things, but by God, he was not going to let her. He was determined to make her see what was right in front of her.

He had not counted on anything like this happening, but it was unfurling and at such a rapid pace that he was blindsided. His heart races just thinking about her. Dragging his thoughts away from the seductive scent and shape and taste of her, he reined in and dismounted.

"It's looking to rain tomorrow." Ben turned to look at him as he made his way towards the structure.

"In that case, we are going to have to move the horses to one of the barns over on the other side." Tilting his head back, he shielded his eyes from the glare of the sun to watch the progress. "Jake, what is it?"

"The beams are weak boss, one of the reasons why the entire roof collapsed. And critters are living inside the damn wood."

"Do we need to spray before we do anything?"

"I think it's a good idea."

Nodding to Ben, he issued the instruction to get that done.

"There is something else." Ben detained him as he was about to leave.

"What is it?"

The man hesitated, the rim of his hat sliding nervously through his fingers.

"Do you need a minute?"

"No." He shook his head. "No. It's about Tim."

"What about him?"

Taking a deep breath, the man plunged on. "He claims he is no longer drinking."

"And we believed him, right?"

"We did. He sounded so sincere, and he has been going to those meetings."

"Then what is the problem?"

Jamming his hat back on, Ben faced him squarely. "He needs the job boss- "

"Ben, I am getting old here waiting for you to get on with it."

"He was seen in the ‘Old and Tumble'." He muttered, referring to one of the water holes in town.

"It could be that he stopped in for a lemonade. They do sell soft drinks inside the joint."

"He came out stumbling around."

"Okay."

"And this morning, he hasn't showed up for work. He was on irrigation duty." "Have you tried calling him?"

Ben nodded. "He is not answering, and his old lady is out of town."

"Leave it to me." Jamming his hat on his head, Taj turned and strode to his horse. Vaulting into the saddle, he tugged at the reins and galloped off. Tim was one of the oldest members of staff at the ranch and had been working there since Taj's grandfather was still running things.

The man was loyal and had been through a lot in life. They had tried to retire him several times, but he had wept and begged them to keep him on. "I am not so old that I cannot be of use and if I retire, what the hell am I to do?"

Touching his knees to the horse's flanks, he headed to the cottage where Tim and his wife had been living before Taj was even born.

Dismounting, he tied the reins around a trailing wisteria and stood there studying the area. It was a neat place and Gladys, his wife, kept the place clean and tidy. The cabbage roses were blooming, and the small vegetable garden had things growing inside the fertile dirt.

Tim's old beat-up Chevy was parked at the base of the porch steps, indicating that he was inside. Bounding up the steps, he started to knock on the door and decided to just go right in.

The living room with the cherry red sofa and the gleaming oak center table was as neat as a pin. Making his way back towards the bedroom, he knocked on the door and waited a little before pushing the door open.

Tim stumbled to his feet, his bloodshot eyes going wide as he stared at the man standing inside the doorway. The bedroom was a definite contrast to the rest of the place, with the sheets dragged halfway off the bed and the pillows on the floor.

The place reeked of vomit and stale liquor and there was a half-filled bottle of scotch on the bedside table.

"Boss! I was just- "He sank heavily on the edge of the bed in abject defeat. "I guess you are here to tell me that you are letting me go."

Moving towards the table, Taj picked up the bottle and studied the label. "Jack Daniels. I thought you were a bourbon guy. My dad tells me that you could drink him and gramps under the table in the good old days."

"Your gramps could hold his liquor, your dad's head's as light as cotton." He lifted bleary eyes to Taj. "I messed up pretty bad."

"I figure you have. I was under the impression you were on the wagon."

"I was. Then Gladys started jawing about having Ronnie come and live with us. He is my grandson, but the guy is as worthless as they come." Tears welled into his eyes, and he blinked them away. "Sonny was a good boy. He was a hard worker- "He stared at Taj for confirmation.

"He was." Taj nodded, feeling his heart twisting in shared sympathy. "It was terrible what happened to him."

"That damn storm. I warned him about venturing out, but he wanted to secure the fence, the one I was supposed to have mended, and he did not want me getting in trouble." The tears spilled over his weathered cheeks.

"It was my fault. If I had just done my damn job, my boy would not have to go out there and clean up after me. He died because I was negligent, and it is something that has been haunting me for years." Lifting a hand, he rubbed the moisture from his cheeks.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Taj remained silent for a few seconds as he thought about what the best response should be. "I knew Sonny." He smiled faintly. "He was a very good man, patient, and had a way of putting up with a child's curiosity.

He would stop what he was doing to explain something to me. He loved the job and enjoyed being part of the family." Taj reached for his hand. "And that's what we are Tim. A family. When one is hurting, then we all are, and we are to help."

The man's eyes welled up again and the tears poured down his cheeks. "I know I am supposed to deal with the irrigation- "

"Take the rest of the day off," Taj told him firmly. "We will deal with it. And we are going to get you back on the wagon. Regarding your grandson, we will discuss the best course of action. If he is serious about doing some work, we will have him set up in one of the empty cottages."

The man gave him a grateful look. "I don't know what to say. When you came in, I was sure I was going to lose my job."

"You are family," Taj repeated. Patting his heavily veined hand, he rose. "I am going to make you a pot of very strong coffee and get rid of the liquor in the house."

"This is the only bottle," Tim assured him hoarsely.

"Let's get you sorted out."

Springing up from the bed, Tim smiled. "I am going to take a shower to get the stink of liquor off me and then I am going to tidy up. Gladys will have my hide if she finds out that I have let the place go. She is out of town visiting a sick relative." "I will go and put the pot on."

*****

"That's a wrap." The director called out cheerfully, clapping his hands. "Good job everyone."

His watery blue eyes settled on Dani. "You recovered pretty quickly."

"Surprising what a few hours of sleep can do." She told him coolly.

He cleared his throat noisily as he ambled over to her. "Look, about earlier, I was impatient and hard on you- "

"I am not a child Robert and can hold my own. You were right earlier, and I am not against positive criticism."

"You know we value your input and talent. The amazing way you have of turning a mundane scene into something marvelous is much admired."

"And your flattery is appreciated today. If you would excuse me?"

"Of course." He gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder. "We will be starting in the afternoon tomorrow, so rest up, go and take in some of the sights. There are some damn good restaurants in town." He glanced over at Jason who was lounging just inside the doorway. "Get a pretty boy to take you out and splurge."

"Thanks."

Jason waited until he had strolled out of the room before he came over to her. "I saved you a blueberry cupcake."

"I hate blueberry cupcakes."

"It was just for form." He popped it into his mouth, his charming grin flashing. "Robert was pretty nauseating just now."

"I guess he was trying to make up for being an asshole earlier." Walking over to the folding chair, she dropped down and stretched her feet out.

Pulling an ottoman, Jason sat in front of her and took off the sandals she had worn for the scene.

"Oh, that feels so good." She murmured, closing her eyes.

"Your man should be doing this."

Her eyes popped open as she stared at him. "I don't have a man."

His thick dark brows lifted as he continued to massage her feet. "Tell yourself that. What is he planning for tonight?"

She fussed with the cotton blouse she had on and avoided his eyes. "I don't know."

"More of the very hot and explosive sex, I hope. Darling, you are finally getting your pipes cleaned and I believe Mr. Gorgeous is very thorough at his job and incredibly good at it. You should be beaming down the place instead of looking as if you lost your best friend."

"Shut up."

He merely grinned. "You are not going to stand the poor guy up, are you?"

"I am thinking of doing just that," she muttered. "And if you don't shut up about it, I might boot you out of my life."

"How devastating that would be for both of us."

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes wearily. "What the hell am I doing Jace? I don't know a damn thing about relationships, and I swore that I was going to concentrate on my career. After what I went through, I wanted to be the best, much better than she ever was."

"And you are." Propping her feet on his lap, he placed his folded arms on her knees. "You are the best I have ever seen, even better than I am and that's saying something. But this is not enough Dani. I also love what I do and you above everyone else know how hard it is for me.

I am a gay man who has been in several disastrous relationships. My dear parents refuse to have anything to do with me and each time I see them, they want to marry me off to some ‘suitable' girl. They look at me as if I am an alien and no matter what I do, they ignore who I am. I want more."

The agonizing sadness on his face broke her heart and had her placing her hands over his arm. "I want a home, not some glamorous apartment featured in magazines. I want more than this."

her hands tightened on his arm. "And one day you will have it. I am the opposite Jace, I love this career of mine, acting allows me to escape and that is what I need." She shook her head. "I want to tell him to get the hell out of my life, but- "She shuddered out a breath.

"But you are hooked." He concluded quietly. "And that might not be such a bad thing."

"I am leaving at the end of this location shoot and that's all there is to it. But you are right, I am going to enjoy the hell out of it."