Chapter 1

Noah

I am haunted by the intoxicating thrill of power, shattering bones and desperate pleas as a life slips away through my hands.

One.

My finger curls around the trigger of the rifle.

Two.

My eyes remain trained on my target. The deer bathes in the early morning sun, grazing the remains of wilted grass covered in dew. I follow it closely, its chest in the center of my scope's dot.

Three.

I pull the trigger and the explosion of the shot rings through the otherwise quiet and dim forest. The kickback forces the recoil pad to thrust into my shoulder and sends a sharp thunder through my muscles. Crows caw in the distance, their calls bouncing off the trees and echoing through the cool morning air, followed by the rustling of leaves and the flapping of wings as birds in the area take off. The deer takes another couple frantic steps, attempting to run before it collapses into the grass of the open field.

Got it.

A wave of morbid satisfaction courses through my veins as I watch through my scope how the life drains from the animal, its skinny legs thrashing before slumping to the ground. With quick and calculated movements, I push myself off the ground, swing my steaming rifle over my shoulder and jump over the log I was hiding behind. The early autumn leaves crunch under my feet as I make my way through the thinning forest toward the clearing. Stepping onto the grass, it only takes a few wide strides until I reach the now completely motionless animal. Its eyes lost every last flicker of life and its fluffy chest is covered in blood, gushing out through the clean bullet hole, a perfect shot to its heart.

I squat down beside the deer and reach for its neck, caressing the soft fur beneath my fingertips. It remains still, its belly motionless, without the rise and fall of breathing. A smile stretches across my face.

Getting a hunting license was a great idea from my Dove. It may not be the same as torturing and watching the life slowly ease from a human, but I'm able to calm my murderous urges to some degree. Plus, I'm able to provide for us in a way I never knew I would one day. I was content with buying groceries, but there is something animalistic and satisfying about going out to hunt for your food, not only yours but the person you love and want to provide for.

I push myself back to my feet, turn back to where I came from, and then back to the deer. Even though I could, it would be a hassle to carry it all the way to where my truck is parked. I guess I will just bring the car here. Let's see if it is really as durable in terrain as the guy at the dealership claimed.

About thirty minutes later, I pull into the driveway of our home. The exact same moment I turn off the engine and push the driver's door open, the front door flies open and Eve steps outside, dressed in the same fluffy white robe she wore to sleep last night. Her hair is pulled up into a messy ponytail, and she looks like she just crawled out of bed. Flying down the stairs she hurries towards me with quick steps in her fuzzy slippers.

"Careful, I'm covered in blood," I say as I jump out of the driver's seat and lift my hand to stop her from throwing herself at me.

A smile spreads across her face and she stops right in front of me. "You were successful? That's great!"

"Yeah." I place my hand on the small of her back and guide her around the car toward the back of the truck. As I pull open the ledge, Eve's eyes widen at the sight of the deer.

"It's big."

"That's what she sai—ouch." I wince as she punches my arm.

"Idiot. I really hate that you spend so much time online now, learning all that nonsense." She rolls her eyes, and I can't help the small chuckle rising from my chest.

"Sorry, Dove," I say and pull my pack of cigarettes from my pants pockets, placing one between my lips before lighting the deadly stick with the plastic lighter. Inhaling deeply, the familiar burning sensation fills my lungs.

"Will you take it to the butcher or do it yourself again?" she asks and I turn to face her, holding the cigarette close to my face.

"I'm still thinking about it. I got a very clean shot this time; there's not a lot of damage to the fur and skin, so I'm thinking about taxidermying this one."

"No way in hell!" Eve raises her voice. "I don't want a taxidermied deer in our house!"

A lopsided smile tugs at the corner of my lips at her reaction, which, honestly, doesn't surprise me. "Thought so. "

"I like the doves, they are small and pretty, but a deer?" She crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"I could sell it or give it to someone else once I'm done. Doesn't the old Mr. Pierce next door collect deer trophies?" I say before taking another deep drag from my cigarette.

"He does, but I don't think his wife would be thrilled to have a whole deer in her home as well." She chuckles and bumps into my side, stepping closer to me.

I throw my cigarette to the ground and stump it out, then shrug my dirty jacket off and throw it onto the back of the truck next to the deer. Now free from blood, I wrap my arm around Eve's shoulder and hold her close to my side.

"He could put it in his office."

"You can also put it in yours," she says with an amused look on her face, her eyebrows shooting up.

"No, I agree with you that it doesn't fit in our home. You did really well decorating the house and making sure the doves fit in, but any other animal would simply be too much." I sigh and lift my free hand to rub my eyes through my lids, trying to ease the pounding sting behind my eyes. The little bit of excitement and adrenaline from watching the deer die wears off, leaving nothing but the slowly growing, throbbing headache I've been struggling with for weeks. I try, I really try to find the same joy in hunting animals as in hunting humans. But it simply isn't the same. It simply doesn't satisfy me in the same morbid fashion.

"Are you okay, babe?" Eve asks, and when I open my eyes, I find soft lines creasing her forehead and that worried look in her eyes which has become a regular expression ever since these headaches started.

"Yes, just that headache again. I will take a painkiller and drive the deer to the butcher real quick and tell him to save me the skin."

"Are you sure? You seemed to be enjoying yourself the last time you did it yourself." Her lips pucker in a soft pout and I lean down to place a fleeting kiss to her lips.

"Yeah, but I'm not in the right headspace to do it myself."

Yes, I did enjoy butchering the last deer I shot. It was fun to learn something new, about the anatomy of a deer as well as the different parts of meat and the organs. For a moment, even cutting up the animal felt like I was torturing some poor soul who had messed with the wrong people. But the disappointment and the dissatisfaction afterwards, when the thrill faded, was too much, and I'm not in the mood to torture myself any more than necessary today.

I pull back from her and close the back of the truck before heading towards the driver's door. Eve's quiet footsteps trail after me, her eyes boring into the back of my head. I grab the blister of painkillers from the cup holder and my bottle of water, swallowing one pill before turning back to her.

"While I'm in town, do we need anything from the store?" I ask and she narrows her eyes at me, her lips press into a thin line. Something is wrong. She always has this look on her face when something is bothering her, but she doesn't know how to bring it up.

"Can you get some cake for dessert tonight? I want some."

"Of course, any particular flavor?"

She shakes her head and wraps her arms around my stomach, propping her chin against my chest as she looks up at me. "You know what flavors I like. Surprise me."

I lean forward to plant another kiss on her nose. "Anything chocolate or strawberry." Her smile grows and she playfully nudges my stomach before letting go of me. "If we need anything else, call me."