Chapter Jase

I've spent hours just staring at her. The way she's curled against me is so precious, so perfect, so... right.

In her dreams, it's not her alleged counter she's picturing a future with. In her dreams, I'm the one she's kissing. I'm the one she's envisioning a life with. Not once has Kellan flickered through her thoughts. He's not even a footnote.

Everything this beautiful, precious, sweet girl thinks about is me.

I hate that son of a bitch for touching her. I hate myself more for pushing her into his arms.

Had I just told her I was the fucking commander, I might could have avoided all that. There's still so much left to tell her, so much left to say that she needs to know, but I can't do that to her right now. She has enough on her as it is.

She's stopped sweating. Her body has returned to a normal hybrid temperature now, and she's so peaceful, comfortable even.

She keeps telling me she can't be with me, but she doesn't really want to say such a thing. It's me she loves. She thinks it all the time - a constant thought so subtle that she doesn't even realize she's thinking it most of the time.

Her lips slide over my bare chest as she snuggles in closer. Absentmindedly, she kisses me the way a lover would when barely roused in their sleep. It feels right - us. She feels it too. She knows what we have is special.

I may not be her counter, but I'm sure as hell the one she wants, whether she admits it or not.

I smile every time her beautiful mind tells me she loves me. I almost ache when her fantasies turn less innocent as she envisions me with her the way only I should be.

Her scandalous mind finds a dream that makes her smile and blush even in her sleep. It'd be adorable if it wasn't absolutely killing me to have to watch it play out like a movie.

I see myself falling between her legs, my body connecting with hers as the muscles inside her tighten around me. It's impossible not to feel the effects of her erotic dream, and then it hurts more when she actually slips her leg in between mine, her hand sliding up my chest as she subconsciously seduces me.

I look around, trying to see if anyone is looking. Simone is passed out, her back turned to us as she sleeps on the adjacent bunk. Kellan is still up front with my sister, and all the kids are sleeping peacefully.

I turn back just as her lips graze my chest, her sexy little blood bringers barely out of hiding as her dirty mind goes to work. Fucking shit. Her mind is incredible.

I feel like a pervert peeping in the fantasies she's having about me.

She wants my blood, craves it. Even as she dreams, I can see her desire to taste me. I'd gladly give it to her for the rest of eternity. All she has to do is wake up and see that. I'm hers. There will never be anyone for me after falling in love with her.

In a moment of pure pathetic weakness, I let my lips find hers, gently kissing her so as not to disturb her peaceful sleep. She smiles, her dream only getting dirtier as she nestles in tighter to me.

I'm going to explode if her mind doesn't calm down. The things she wants to do with me... fuck.

My body heats up, reacting to her torrid visions, but I force it to cool down. I want nothing more than to kiss her again, make that fucking dream come true, but I refrain. She'll be mine again. There's no definitive proof that Kellan's her counter, but if he's emergent hybrid, then he's definitely strong enough to be in the running.

I had hoped she'd never have a counter, as selfish as that is. She's so strong - what little bit she's been able to use her gifts - so I hoped no one would be strong enough to make her destiny.

That fucking arrogant ass has to be emergent hybrid too though. I wish more now than ever I had given the order to kill on sight. That makes me a terrible leader, but that's how much I love her. I can't lose her. Not to him. Not to anyone.

Her small, barely-there bikini has been driving me crazy for longer than I care to admit. She's the only one who didn't bother to change. As her leg draws up to rest over my hip, I see the curve of ass, a taunting perfection she doesn't know she's using against me right now.

As terribly wrong and perverse as it might be, I run my hand over it, pulling her center tighter to mine as her wild dreams go deeper, making me harder. I almost pray she wakes up and feels how fully erect I am right now. Maybe she wouldn't be able to deny me any longer, and then I could have her back.

Her hybrid heat is intoxicating, making me swell with more desire as she willingly folds to me. The scenery in her dream changes, making me hotter as she chooses a colder climate for our ravenous adventure.

The steamy room turns into a meadow covered in snow. Nature's white blanket melts around our bodies as her hybrid heat reaches a new, sexy height. My name falls through her lips both in the dream and in reality, making me hurt even more to be inside of her.

She's torturing me right now without even meaning to. I've watched all sorts of warm and fuzzy dreams of hers since we left the bunker where we found the children. The monster RV we're in is a beast, but it's not big enough for me to have any privacy, meaning I need to keep my composure right now despite the vixen in my arms.

The open layout has a small kitchen area in view and a tiny bathroom off to the side with a ridiculously small shower stall. Though it's very wide, the aisle is narrow, offering room for the beds - ten bunk-beds on each side.

We've got twenty children with us, making me feel all the more shady as I peer into my hybrid's dreams. But I can't help it. I can tune out the rest of the world anytime I want to, but I've never been able to tune out Aria.

She doesn't know I can tune anyone out, and she'd kick my ass if she did because she'd never believe she's the only one I can't stop hearing. Her thoughts are always audible when she's in view, and even sometimes when she's not... as long as no one else is distracting me.

She'd never believe that though, and quite frankly, it's crazy. She's always been an anomaly to me though.

My name falls through her lips again, though this time it's only in the dream. My eyes shut as I revel in the dream she's having as though it's my own. The images she sees are so clear to me.

All I want to do is make her dreams come true. I feel her as if I'm really inside her, giving her all the salaciously delicious things she's begging for. I feel her tightening around me as I surge in, giving her my blood in her mouth.

My eyes pop open as I try to think of something else. This is too fucking painful to endure much longer without actually having her in that way.

Does she not know I would do anything to have her back? Does she not see how much she still loves me? Why is she so desperate to have a counter?

I know she saw what Araya and Hale had, and she wants that, but I could give her that. I may not be capable of being her counter, but I'm capable of loving her more than anyone else. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her.

Melania's voice comes to my mind, interrupting my self-destructing pity party. 'Kellan is about to come back there.'

My sister has gotten really good at projecting her thoughts to me when she knows I'm intentionally blocking her out. Now I've got to find a way to cover up this ungodly erection Aria's mind has left me with.

I swear that damn dreams is never going to end.

I climb over her, coming to rest behind her to keep my affected area hidden with her body, because he'll wonder why I'm keeping my back to him otherwise.

As soon as I get settled in to face the aisle, Aria's arms wrap around my neck as she turns to face me. Her leg comes back to rest over my hip once more, making me let out a huffed breath of torment.

She's killing me.

Kellan comes into view, which alleviates some of the strain in my pants. Aria's mind isn't letting me lose my throbbing completely though. As the snowy dream gets more in depth, her back arches, pressing her center against my already rock hard desire.

He sits down on the bed where Simone is resting, his eyes falling on my girl as she smiles in her sleep. I almost wish that fucker could read her mind right now. I'd love for him to see who she's dreaming about.

"She seems peaceful," he murmurs, reaching over to stroke her cheek.

It takes all my strength not to flatten his face. I don't have to read his mind to know it's driving him crazy to see her in my arms, her body tangled around mine like a girl in love.

A better man wouldn't be revealing such a smug smirk, but I'm not a better man. I'm a man in love with the girl too stubborn to see I'm the right one, so I'm going to enjoy this win. That bastard lets me see his smug grin every time he touches her.

He sits back, glancing once over his shoulder at the sleeping Simone, and then he turns back to me, studying me as Aria moans lightly. Her dream is getting more savage, and it forces me to groan inwardly as I see the dirty exhibition getting bloody, rough, and carnal... so, so carnal.

Fucking shit.

My head almost explodes - along with other parts of my body - when she lets out a slight gasp to represent the screaming climax going on in her head. Of all the times she could have done that, she had to do it now?

My fucking pants can't get any tighter at this point. This asshole is the only thing souring the moment.

"She seems to be having a good dream. Care if I ask what it's about?" he asks so naively.

Initial response? Tell him everything.

I'd love nothing more than to tell this imperious son of a bitch that the girl lying in my arms is dreaming about me - the twisted, fucking perfect things she wants me to do to her. I want to tell him that it's my name she just called out in a scream when she hit a peak so intense she wanted to cry.

Actual response?"Snow."

The enigmatic smile tugging at my lips is involuntary, but it's at least respectable.

"Snow?" he chuckles, staring at her so endearingly that it makes my teeth hurt when I clench them too tightly. "She must be desperate to get somewhere cooler."

Something about that makes me think. Aria wants to go north - get away. She said her head didn't hurt as bad when she thought about traveling that way. It makes me wonder if there's something else going on, but I don't know what it could be.

"Her temperature has dropped back down to a normal hybrid's temp now. I don't know how long it will sustain once I release her," I murmur, smiling when her lips graze my bare chest.

He notices, but he looks away, not giving me the satisfaction of a grimace. Instead, he continues speaking, acting as though his counter isn't loving the fact she's in my arms instead of his.

"I'm worried. Hybrids don't generally overheat to that extent. She barely slept at all on the day long trip out there, and she soaked the bed with her sweat. I admit it was hot, but it wasn't that bad. I've never seen a hybrid suffer that severely. It's almost too... human."

I've thought the same thing too many times. She was burning up back at the camp when she tricked her way out of a grounding. It wasn't like this though. This is amplified.

She said she's always suffered the temperatures more than other hybrids, but this is too much - too extreme.

"I've got Clay Jude's old notes from when Aria was a child," I say while staring down at the girl still dreaming about being in my arms while actually snuggling in closer.

"I wish I knew what to do. I've never had a problem with temperatures. I'm like Araya though, not Aria. She's so rare. Emergent hybrids rarely survive past-" he pauses, looking to make sure none of the children are listening in, and then he continues when he's satisfied they're asleep "-puberty," he whispers.

I nod, and then he adds, "An emergent who found their counter and produced a child is... unheard of. Of course it's not like they can exactly advertise such either."

True.

"What do you mean about the finding their counters before producing a child? It's not like a hybrid has to be with their counter."

He snorts derisively, scrutiny in his gaze.

"She told you, didn't she? That I'm her counter?" he smugly asks.

I narrow my eyes, a little angered now. "So you've been putting it in her head, knowing how easily swayed she is."

It isn't a question. I get it now.

He laughs, mockery in his outburst. "I've never once said anything about it. She feels it. I can tell she feels it just as I do. She's just fighting it because of some lingering feelings she has for you. She's confused, but she's coming around. She's actually getting there faster than I thought if she already told you."

Yep. Should have killed him when I had the chance. Maybe he'll fuck up and I'll have a second opportunity to issue such an order. I won't hesitate next time.

"Personally, I don't give a damn," I lie, hiding my envy the best I possibly can. "I love her regardless, and I know she loves me."

His smile falls, and for once, he doesn't look so smug. He looks like a man who might actually care about her.

"She does love you, but it'll fade. Counters are designed for one another - perfectly matched so the two couldn't be more in love. I don't need to show you proof of that. Our entire race is riddled with such proof. It's a special connection, and when she accepts it, we'll have that bond no one can break."

He seems so sure of himself. There's no way that's true because I've felt her love for me, and I've heard her reservations about him. If they're designed for each other, someone made a design flaw.

"Maybe, maybe not," I murmur dispassionately, smiling when she actually whispers my name aloud, listening to her dream as she picks out a house for our future home.

This dream turns me on more than the steamy sex we were having. She loves me that much. Why won't she just admit it?

He frowns, having heard my name falling between her angelic, velvety lips. Now he knows the dream is about more than snow.

"To answer your question from earlier," he continues, ignoring the fact Aria isn't calling his name out, "hybrid emergents can't have children with anyone but their counters. That's what I meant by her being so rare. So, should an emergent's child have the unfathomable opportunity to live past their predicted fate and then find someone strong enough to be their counter, then it's something incredible."

I look down at the only thing incredible in my life. She should be mine, not his. The way I feel about her is too strong for me to simply toss aside. Kellan's emergent hybrid though, and he'll have an immortal span. I won't have the same fortune as Brazen Mordel.

"Are you as strong as Araya?" I ask, desperate to get off this conversation as Aria frowns in her sleep, dreaming I'm pulling away from her, which is something I'd never do intentionally.

I pull her closer, making her feel secure as she sleeps, dreaming the day away. She smiles lightly, seeing me return to her in the dream.

It almost makes me curious. She's done nothing but have good dreams since we left the night before. I haven't slept at all, so I know each dream she's had. The second I get upset - worried about her counter being this arrogant, unworthy asshole - she dreams I'm pulling away. The moment I pull her tighter, she starts dreaming everything is okay again.

"No. I wish I was as strong as her," he says, laughing slightly. "Her dad, Nicholas Hawkins, was one of the first infected with the virus by syringe instead of by a bite. He was one of the few fortunate enough to change, where as most who were changed without the bite died of complications even if they did have the gene. His blood wasn't tainted by the diseases the world has suffered since, making him a pure host for one day producing one hell of a hybrid. Turns out, he produced a breed of hybrid even stronger."

He seems to know more about Aria's family history than even I do, and I was close with Hale Banner.

"How do you know that?"

"Clay Jude was my mentor," he says with a shrug. "He told me he found something special in me, wanted to help me learn more about science. I was always more into tech, but I wanted to learn because he was the commander, and he took an interest in me. It was a pretty flattering honor.

"During a lab experiment, my eyes were stung by a small lab explosion, and my contacts melted out. When he saw what I was, I thought he was going to have me killed. Instead, he smiled, seeming excited. He told me he could help me keep my secret. Then, after some time, he told me about Araya and Aria. I was just happy to know I wasn't alone in the world. He mostly spoke of Araya. He kept Aria's story more secretive."

I look down to see I've started running my fingers through my hybrid girl's hair. It wasn't intentional, but I can tell it has irked him. I refuse to stop though when she smiles bigger, giggling lightly when her dream mimics reality - my fingers strolling through her locks in her fantasy world as well.

"And Araya's mother?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Dead. Gone. No worries. Emergents are too dangerous. My father had to be killed in order to keep the world from becoming his playground. It's a tragic, morbid reality, but it's a reality all the same."

He seems to say it without an ounce of emotion, but I can see all the pain in his eyes. It's a fleeting moment at best that I feel sorry for him, but that small amount of pity does rear its ugly head.

"And your mother?" I pry.

He frowns, staring down at his hands. "Gone as well. She died about fifty years ago during a scrape with some outer city bandits. The ones your people found strung up and burned on the flag poles of Bangler City."

Ah. I remember that case.

"I suppose I can take that out of the cold case files and store it in the justifiable-killing section instead."

He smirks, though it's forced. Fuck. More pity.

Simone's arms suddenly wrap around his waist as she sleeps peacefully, reaching for security in a touch. It's then I open myself up to her thoughts, and I gag when I see the dreams of her and Kellan lost in the throes. Holy shit.

I lock up that section quickly, not allowing myself to see anymore of his bare ass as she imagines it to look.

Kellan smiles softly while unwinding her arms from him, but she refuses to budge, gripping him tighter, and giving me a devious plan to keep my girl.

It's not me Simone wants, it's the hybrid. And with the way Kellan Maverick's reputation is, Simone is just his type.

If Aria got that mad at me for simply lying next to Simone - while we're broken up and she's with another guy - then she'd tell Kellan to go fuck himself if he does anything less innocent.

Gah, I'm such an asshole for even thinking like this. But I can't help it. I love her too much to hand her over without a fight.

No. I can't do it. I couldn't bear to see her hurt and lose the girl she loves like a sister simply because I'm too selfish to let her go.

"What sort of range do you have on that mind shit of yours?" Kellan asks, catching me by surprise.

I narrow my eyes at him, suspicious of why he'd ask such a thing.

"Don't give me that look. You've asked numerous questions about me and my secrets. That shit wasn't free. It's your turn. Besides, you can't read my mind, so it's not like I'm gaining an advantage."

True, and fair enough. I have asked a lot of questions.

"It varies. If I can see you, it doesn't matter how far away you are, I can read your mind. If I can't see you, it's a little harder. If we're alone and you're in another room, I can hear you just fine. If you're in another room and there's fifty people around, the signals get messed up without a visual stimulant to guide me. That's not something I give away too freely, so don't abuse it."

He shrugs, rolling his eyes. "Dude, you know I'm an emergent. I think that's got a bigger price tag than your information."

I almost laugh, but I refrain. He's got me there.

"So. can you tune people out?" he asks, giving up on his mission to disentangle Simone from his waist when he realizes he can't do it without hurting her.

If he knew what she was dreaming, would he go ahead and do something that stupid?

Stop it, Jase. Don't be a sick bastard.

"No," I lie, not wanting to divulge too much. Besides, he might tell Aria.

He nods, accepting the fib. I'm grateful when I hear us pulling up in front of the Hollister Compound, our temporary base to meet with the council. I wish I could carry Aria up to my room to be with me instead of leaving her in his hands.

I stifle a grin when I see her scandalous thoughts back in play, this time here in this RV. Damn, don't I wish.

"We're here," Mel says while joining us.

Simone's grip on Kellan is almost comical, and he huffs in frustration for his unsuccessful attempt in gently wrangling her off of him.

"What the hell?" he grumbles to himself, forcing a soft chuckle from my lips.

"It looks like you'll have to carry her up," Mel says with a devilish grin.

His head flops back, groaning as he pulls her to him instead of trying to unhinge himself anymore.

"Fine. I'll be back for Aria. Just let her sleep until I return."

He starts carrying Simone out as all the waking children are met by caring, worried faces of my most trusted advisors. Their eyes are stained with dread as they stare at the little ones they know carry such an ill fate. I won't let it happen though. Commander or not, I'll leave the United to keep them safe.

"I'll deal with getting the kids settled. You deal with her," Mel says with a warm smile, winking at me to let me know she just had my back.

The small girl I helped earlier comes over tug at my foot, waving at me while giggling and running back out. It's a heartbreaking situation.

She was so scared when she got on the RV that she went and hid in the back, too terrified to come where so much light was.

Her malnourished state didn't play well with her trembling nerves. She had vomited everywhere. Shit, I've still got to clean that up. I forgot about it. I was so focused on cleaning it out of the little girl's hair, that I forgot to clean up the floor.

She was appreciative, and that alone gave her comfort that I wasn't going to hurt her. It's terrible to think of what these kids are going through - what they've already been through.

As the RV falls silent, leaving just my hybrid girl's breath as the only sound, I kiss her head, trying to wake her up before Kellan returns. I won't be able to see him scoop her up as if she's his to carry away... to his room.

It'll take him a few minutes to locate a designated room on this base, so I've got time to wake her up slowly, maybe even talk to her. Then she can leave when she wants to.

As her dirty dream carries on, I kiss her head again, whispering her name directly after.

She stirs, but then she does something I wasn't prepared for. In her half asleep and half awake state, her lips find mine to carry out the dream. Her tongue slips into my mouth with a thirst she feels can only be sated by me.

Fuck yes.

I hadn't expected this, but I'm sure as hell happy it's happening.

She straddles me suddenly, her mind going crazy with doubts mixing with desire. She kisses me harder, hungrier, as she grinds her center against the rock hard section of my pants.

I feel the soft lines of her body, letting my hands slide down her perfect curves until they reach her glorious ass, and then I jerk her to me, offering her the rough touch she was dreaming about. She moans into my mouth, letting me know I've done something right.

Her mind is so cluttered - thoughts congested with other contradictory thoughts. She's so confused right now, but she feels desperate to have me. Her hands tangle in my hair, and I flip her to her back, praying she doesn't listen to the side of her head that's telling her to stop.

I almost consider biting her to make sure she doesn't back out.

Pushing her bikini bottoms to the side, I let a finger slip in to feel the tightness awaiting me. My eyes roll back in my head as I feel how ready she is for me, and she jerks me to her tighter, sliding her hand down my pants to touch me for the first time in so long, stroking me with her delicate hands.

Just as I'm about to rip her bottoms off and fuck her before she changes her mind, she stops me, letting me know I fucked around and waited too long.

"I'm sorry," she whimpers, shaking her head. "I can't do this. We can't do this."

Fuck!

This is the part where I'm supposed to nod and pretend as if I understand, but I don't. This is bullshit. She loves me. Not Kellan. She wants me. Not Kellan. Fucking bullshit counter crap.

"You're wrong. We can do this, and you know it. You love me, Aria. Don't pretend as though any of your feelings have wavered. I'm sick of this. I'm a full blood commander. Get the hell over it and come back to me."

That was really not the way I meant for that to come out, but I'm a little... frustrated. I don't care if we fuck or not, I just want her to admit she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.

She runs her hands through my hair, her violet eyes staring into the depths of my soul as she sighs out.

"You're right. I still love you as much as I did." ' If not more,' she silently adds, knowing I heard it. "But... you know why we can't be together. I won't do to you what Mom did to Uncle Brazen. It's selfish, and I don't know how he doesn't hate her for letting him fall so deep for her."

She loves me so much she'd rather see me with someone else instead of pining over her when she ends up with Kellan. All of her life, she's seen the way counters interact, but I can tell she doesn't feel like that about him. She feels guilty that she doesn't when it's obvious he wants her more than she wants him.

All of her thoughts collide as she tries to shut me out, hide her mind's panic, but some bits of things still escape her grasp. One thing in particular, she doesn't want to be in his arms again.

That kills me.

"Aria, don't be with him simply because you think you're supposed to be. That's ridiculous. There's no law pushing you together. Be with me."

A tear slips out, and she turns her head away, hiding the pain she doesn't want me to see. A slight flash of Simone tangled around me comes to her mind. I have no fucking clue why that was so terrible to her. It couldn't have been more innocent.

"You're not going to stay with me, are you?" I ask rhetorically.

Her mind is already made up, and it doesn't matter what perfectly executed argument I deliver, she's not to give in because she feels as though she belongs to him.

I drop down, falling onto my back and releasing her for the first time in so many hours. Her headache returns very dully, not enough to cause her much discomfort, but she knows it'll be back before long.

Stubborn, crazy, impossible woman. I swear. She's so... damn she's insufferable.

"I need to go," she murmurs softly, standing up and pulling out a shirt to slip over her bikini top, taunting me with her still skimpy lower half.

"I love you," I murmur, knowing damn well she won't say it back... not aloud.

More tears drip free as she grabs her darkest shades to cover her deepest secret. She looks at me, her eyes completely shielded from sight as she tightens her lips.

"I'll always love you, but I hope you learn to move on. Don't stay trapped like Brazen Mordel, because there's not seven hundred years to wait... there's an eternity."

She turns away, her tears burning the surfaces they fall to, and she leaves me with nothing but emptiness in my heart. She'd rather spend eternity with someone she doesn't love in order to stay with the way things are supposed to work.

I won't accept that. I can't. It's simply not good enough, and I won't let it end until there's nothing else I can do.

Right now, I'm going to take a long, cold shower, and then I'm going to lie down in ice for a while. Lots and lots of ice.