Chapter 17

Destiny

The second he pushes the head of his cock in my ass I cry out and try to leap forward. He keeps me in place by the grip he has on my hips. It fucking burns like a bitch! I try to breathe through the pain and relax like he said to but it's hard when you have a monster-sized cock in your ass.

"Relax, baby," he coos as he reaches around me to circle my clit, drawing a moan from me. He uses that moment of distraction to press in further. I cry out, but this time it hurts less, thanks to him playing with my greedy little pussy. I can feel my own wetness coating the insides of my thighs. This man has turned me into a wanton whore for his cock. We fight daily and can't stand each other but the moment we get home, we are all over each other and fucking the frustrations out of the other. It's toxic but it's perfect.

"Keep going." He draws back and eases back in, slowly fucking me and inching further every thrust. After a minute, the pain starts turning into this sensation of need I have never felt before.

"Fuck, baby, this is the perfect fucking torture."

"I want it all, Taylan, fuck me hard. I need it." His responding growl sends a shiver down my spine. He draws back, leaving only the tip inside me before slamming forward, burying his cock balls deep inside me. I scream so loud I swear the windows rattled. "Fuck!"

"I got you, baby," he reassures me as his strokes on my clit grow faster, taking my attention off the pain I'm in. He gives me time to adjust to his intrusion before slowly easing out and back in, letting me adjust again. "Fuck, your ass is so tight, Slayer."

"Taylan, I feel…" I don't know how to explain this feeling, I have never felt this before. I feel so full. A slow burning sensation is forming inside my belly, my moans grow louder as my pussy starts clamping down on air. My orgasm is right there, but this one feels different. It feels like it has the power to rip me apart.

"Let it happen, baby, it's going to be intense," he vows.

"I need more," I cry.

"Play with your clit." I do as he says, pinching my clit between my fingers. He grips my waist in a punishing hold, losing control and fuck me, it's perfect. His thrusts are so hard the sofa screeches along the floorboards.

"Fuck, yes, like that, Tay. You're gonna make me come so fucking hard," I scream.

"Give me that climax, I want it. I'm gonna come so deep in this ass. You want to taste it, baby?"

His words are my undoing, I come harder than I ever have before. My throat is hoarse from screaming, shudders continuing to rock me as he chases his own release. When he comes, it's my name he calls out. It's the first time he has ever said my name while he comes, hearing that shit for the first time has me warming.

He has barely finished coming inside me before he's ripping his cock out, parting my cheeks and suctioning his lips to my hole. The feeling of his warm tongue prodding that hole has me crying out, it feels so strange feeling the cum being sucked out of me. When he pulls back, I don't wait for his instruction, I spin around and drop to my knees in front of him and wrap my arms around his neck before smashing my lips to his and opening for him like always. The taste of his cum fills my mouth. I moan into the kiss as I swallow every last drop of him.

Realization crashes into me like a ton of bricks and it robs me of breath.

I'm addicted to him.

I break the kiss and stare into his eyes. He smiles cockily but it slowly fades when he registers the look in my eyes. Horror fills his gaze as he cups my cheek tentatively.

"Don't say it. I'm not worthy of you. I'm a good time type of guy, not a long time. I'm tainted and broken, baby. Your ever after is out there but he isn't me."

Find em, feel em, fuck em, forget em.

That was his motto from the start, he warned me and then I had to go and be stupid and catch some type of feelings for him when I knew I shouldn't have. I've always said you can fuck without feelings being involved but the truth is, there is only so many times you can sleep with someone without feeling something.

"I know. I need a shower, thanks for whatever that was." He drops his gaze in shame as I stand and rush to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I refuse to allow the tears burning the backs of my eyes to fall as I make my way into the bathroom and climb inside the shower stall. I let the water cascade over me and hope that it can wash away the shame of being rejected.

I cover my face with my hands and growl in frustration. How the fuck did all of this happen over a stupid plate of pasta?

The feeling of shame mixed with my hurt is crippling. If I allow it to consume me it will pull me under, so I fight it. I choose to lock away those feelings and play along. As soon as we find Koda, Taylan will be free and able to leave and return to Canada. I'll never have to see him again and I'll be able to move on with my life. I'll fight Tiana, claim the title and then… What happens next?

I step out of the shower and dry myself as I ponder my future. I have been so fixated on this fight that I haven't even given myself time to think about what comes next. Do I want to keep fighting? Do I want to go to law school?

What the fuck do I want to do with my life?

I growl and toss my towel in the hamper, annoyed at myself for allowing Taylan to get in my head, him suggesting that I am only fighting because Koda told me I couldn't do it plays on my mind every time I step in the ring. I want to say he is full of shit and that isn't the reason I fight, but ever since Koda told me I was weak and couldn't do it, I have trained harder, pushed myself to be the best. Even going as far as taking a title fight against the best who I know is fucking amazing at what she does. Tiana may be a dirty fighter but no one makes it to the top without dirtying themselves a little.

I step out of the bathroom and come to a halt at the sight of Taylan sitting on the edge of my bed, the very bed we both sleep in each night. He doesn't want to admit he feels anything for me but for the past month we have been living, working and sleeping together like a couple!

"Slayer–"

"Stop." His brows form a deep groove in the center of his forehead. "I don't need you to say anything. I crossed a line. You made your boundaries clear from the beginning, I respect that. Let's move on and act like that moment of error on my part never happened, ‘kay?" I don't wait for a response as I cross the room to my wardrobe and pull on an oversized T-shirt and some sweatpants. I don't bother brushing my hair, instead tying it up in a messy bun and walk out without looking back at him.

I fucked up, not him.

Unlike last time when we didn't speak aside from training or when we fucked, it's not like that this time. For two weeks since I went and screwed things up, Taylan has put a country of space between us. Did that shit sting? Fuck yes! Am I dealing with it and making sure he doesn't know how much it has affected me? You bet your fucking ass, I am playing the role of bad bitch!

"You're not focused!" Dad scolds, drawing my attention to him. He stands on the outside of the ring with his forearms resting on the top ropes. "Where is your head at?" I dart my gaze from him to Taylan who stands in front of me shirtless and panting. I turn back to my dad and shrug. "Seriously? You're twenty-five and think shrugging your shoulders is the answer?"

I throw my gloved hands in the air. "What do you want me to say? I'm just off today, that's it. No excuse, I'm just… off," I snap in frustration.

"You are never off! What the fuck is going on, Dest?" he pushes.

Taylan tenses but says nothing as he drops his gaze. Pussy. "Nothing, Dad. I'm just having a rough day."

"Is it that time of the month? Do you need a day off? Want me to call your mom? Do you want me to get snacks?—"

I cut him off before he can keep rambling and embarrassing the shit out of me in front of Taylan and whoever else can fucking hear him talking about my period!

"No! I'm fine, I'm calling it a day," I huff out as I ignore him calling after me and heading straight for the exit, fuck the shower I'll have one at home! Before I can get two steps out the door, Mia's car comes to a stop in front of me and I have to jump back before I get clipped by her bumper. I glare at the bitch through her windshield, she just grins.

"Get in, your man is chasing you!" she calls out. I look over my shoulder and sure enough, Taylan is charging toward me. Without thinking, I yank the door open and climb in.

"Go, go, go!" I scream just as Taylan makes it to the exit. She plants her foot on the gas and burns rubber getting us the fuck out of there, like we have the po-po on our asses. A minute later the both of us are laughing at our stupidity. "How did you know I needed an escape?" I ask.

"I didn't. I was leaving as you came barreling out the door and then I saw your boyfriend coming in hot after you."

"He's not my boyfriend," I grumble as I slouch back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest. She side eyes me with a look I know too well from my friend. "Save your judgment, I don't want to hear it."

"Girl, no man chases after a woman he isn't either fucking or related to. Spill the beans now and give momma the tea." I normally don't share stories or allow others to know my shit but I can't stop it. As soon as I open my mouth all of my secrets come spewing out and I tell her everything about Taylan, minus the shit that involves my family and anything to do with that side of my life. By the time I have finished telling her everything, I only then realize we have stopped moving and are parked in front of her house. Mia still lives at home with her parents and older brother. Her mom and dad are both great and have busted their asses to provide a great life for their kids. "That was… wow."

I cringe. "Seriously? After everything I have just told you, wow is all you can say?" She swivels in her chair to face me and immediately I groan at the look on her face, if she was an emoji she would have heart eyes.

"He is perfect. Equal parts broken and damaged but also caring, attentive and fucking freaky in the sheets." I feel my cheeks grow warm, I never should have told her about how Taylan likes to fuck. Out of all my friends Mia is the one with the kinky side and is all about trying everything once.

"He's not broken or damaged!"

Her face breaks out into a satisfied look with a smile to match. "Look who is all defensive over someone who isn't her boyfriend."

"Shut up," I snap before climbing out of the car, she meets me around the front of her Audi and places her hands on my shoulders.

"Hear me out?" I shoot her a bored look. "Come out with me tonight and take your mind off the fight and everything Taylan related. I'll call Peyton, Missy and Britt and we can go out for a girls night."

I gnaw on my lip, debating her offer. The idea is appealing but with Koda still out there I don't know if it's a good idea. No one has been able to find him and it's actually starting to freak me out—Uncle Vin can track anyone and the fact he hasn't located him yet really has my hackles up.

"Don't make me beg. One night of fun and then you can go back to no carbs and training until you die of exhaustion."

I roll my eyes. "You are so freaking dramatic."

She wags her brows in response. "So, is that a yes?" She sounds like a child pleading for an extra cookie before dinner.

"Fine." I reel back and cover my ears when she starts screaming. She is like a fucking energizer bunny, the girl has so much fucking energy bottled up she can start selling it off.

A few hours later Missy, Peyton, Britt, Mia and I are all dressed to the nines but unlike my friends I feel self-conscious. I'm not one to wear revealing shit like the dress I am currently suffocating in. My tits nearly touch my chin and my ass is practically hanging out of the bottom of the dress. I spin around in front of the mirror and take in the sight of myself. My gray-blue eyes are highlighted with smokey eye makeup, the thick eyeliner has them popping. My long blonde hair is straight and falls down my back, while the skin-tight red dress hugs me like a second skin. It's a corset style strapless dress that has my tits almost spilling over the cups, the hem ending just below my ass. I tried to pair it with a pair of flats but my friends refused and handed me a pair of red stilettos that makes my legs look like they are longer than they are.

"You look beautiful, Dest, stop overthinking this and enjoy yourself." I meet Britt's gaze in the mirror and force a smile.

"I feel like a fraud," I admit.

Her face contorts in outrage. "You are no such thing! You, my friend, are fucking stunning and deserve this night out more than any of us. We're going to have drinks, dance and forget all about the pesky boy who has you all up in your feels." I pull my gaze from hers, unable to stand the sight of pity in her gaze. Mia filled them all in about what was going on with me and Taylan before they even got here. I have been friends with these girls since high school, even when I was sent to Blackwood we stayed in contact. They were under the impression that I was sent away to boarding school and I hate that I can't tell them the truth but this is just one of the burdens of being in the life of the mafia.

"Come on, bitches, we need shots, then it's off to the club!" Peyton hollers, bringing a smile to everyone's faces.

"Come on, Dest, we got you. No more thinking about him or the fight, it's time to focus on having a fantastic fucking night with your girls." Britt's words have me smiling, it's the first real one I have smiled in what feels like months. The only times I have smiled lately has been when Taylan is around and I hate that, he has become a comfort that I didn't know I needed. He chases away all my nightmares and makes me feel safe.

He's become my favorite hello and I know he is going to be my hardest goodbye.