13. Round 15 cont

13

ROUND 15 CONT

Willo

I don’t remember a lot about my 150th game. It was almost three years ago, and I was still grieving Cara, Suzie, and Dad. What today’s game has shown me, though, is that I’ve come a long way in the last fifty games. I’ve come back stronger than ever after doing my knee, and I really have an amazing family around me.

Then there’s Paige. Seeing her with Mum and the kids is something else. When I head over the boundary line post-match and lift the kids over the fence, I can’t help but send a silent thank you to Paige. I doubt she realises what she’s done for me, but she’s brought me back to life.

At the back of my mind, I know she’s leaving at the end of the year, but in my fantasies, I see her staying and living with us. Then I remember her declarations that she doesn’t want to live on a farm, and she doesn’t want kids.

She’s told me about the place she grew up, and I’d like to think my place is different. She seems to get on well with the kids and even told me she had fun with the kids on the Gold Coast. Our weekend together seems so long ago, and we’ve had no chance of replicating it. I’m sure she thinks I see her as an extended one-night stand, but nothing could be further from the truth.

“You played good, Dad.” Jacko beams as we run around the boundary line. I high five spectators, sign some autographs, and pose for selfies with a few fans. I notice a couple of kids I know are in Billy’s class, but he ignores them, and I assume he didn’t see them.

“Thanks, Jacko.” I ruffle his hair. “Did you have fun with everyone?”

“Yeah.” He nods, his grin wide across his face.

We make our way back to the team, who are all applauding. Silver takes Luna from me. She’s insisted on being carried the last bit towards the team, and Basha and Matty hoist me onto their shoulders to chair me from the ground.

It’s these sorts of buzzes that remind me why I love the game. Being with my teammates and my family celebrating a win. The boys let me down as we enter the race. I don’t think a single fan has left the ground yet. Gaz waits at the end. He says nothing, just points at me, then nods and claps his hands, showing me in his actions more than any words could convey.

The kids are in the circle of teammates as we chant our club song, a tradition for the end of winning games. I chuckle when Wilson is approached by the anti-doping team for a wee sample. I know my turn must be coming soon, as they haven’t tested me in weeks. It’s a part of the game I pretend to hate, but I also know how important it is to ensure the sport is free from drug use.

My family is all down in the rooms, but I can’t see Paige. I hope she’s here. I want her to be here. Mum looks tiny against Murray and Tina. I ignore Brad, who looks like he doesn’t want to be here. Nicola stands next to Eva, her husband behind her with his hand on her shoulder. He’s laughing as he talks to the person behind Brad. They all cheer as I make my way over there, conscious there’s a television camera at my back.

I’m glad it’s not in front of me when I see Paige is here and is talking with Gio. My face lights up. Sure, it’s great to see my entire family, but knowing Paige is here is extra special .

Kim is with them and indicates for a television commentator to come over and start an interview.

“Great game, Willo,” the commentator starts. I played against him in my early years. “Got another 200 in you?”

I chuckle. “Nah, definitely not. I’d love to play another fifty, though.”

“And win a Premiership,” he continues.

“Naturally, but we’ve still got several rounds to go, and anything can happen. I’m just glad we all pulled together today and achieved the win.”

“So, your fan club is here. Who have we got?” I see the camera operator pan across my family.

“I’m Luna,” my youngest pipes up and is confused when everyone laughs.

“I’ve got my kids, my mum, my brothers, my sister and her husband, my in-laws, and Paige is hiding in the back.”

“I’ll get to Paige.” He points a finger in the air, a wry grin creeping across his face. “But first, Mrs Lovemore?—”

“Lenore, please.” Mum shakes her head and rolls her eyes. She’s always hated being called Mrs anything.

“Lenore.” More grins from the interviewer. “You must be so proud of Willo.”

“I’m proud of all my children.” Mum starts, and I see the glassiness in her eyes. “Our family has been through a lot, as you would know, but celebrating today is special, and I’m glad we can all be together.”

“And we’ve got a brother here.” Murray grunts and points to Tina. “And another one.”

“I’m the good-looking one in the family.” Tina is the charmer. “I can’t kick a ball to save myself, but at least I got the looks.”

I hear Eva mutter a ‘fuck’s sake’ under her breath, but it’s Paige’s laugh that catches my ears.

I need to find some time alone with her. Sure, sex with her would be amazing again, but I want to talk with her and cuddle up watching a movie and build a bonfire in the home paddock and roast marshmallows with her. I’ve gone from wanting to be alone with my kids to wanting to share more of myself with someone else again.

No one will ever replace Cara, but people have been telling me it’s alright to move on, and I think I’ve started to believe this myself.

“And is that The Yank I spy hiding behind everyone?” the smarmy journalist asks as he tries to get Brad to move to the side.

“Hi,” she sings as she offers a bit of a wave. I smile as Charlene pushes her forward, and they swat at each other’s hands. Paige fits in so well with my family.

“And what did you think of today’s game?” Paige is asked, the camera almost shoved in her face.

“Well, Willo was great again, but the umpiring was sh… I mean, crap. Did you see the shove in the back Willo received directly in front of the goals in the last quarter? It would have given him a seventh goal. And it’s like they put away their whistles and gave up. It’s not how the game should be played. Oh, and also…” Paige is on a roll, and I can’t stop her. It reminds me of podcast recording days where she will share her thoughts freely. “If that mark he took in the third quarter in the goal square doesn’t get mark of the week, I’ll, well, I’ll do something unexpected.”

“Well, just keep your clothes on.” The journo chuckles.

It dulls the atmosphere for me. I know Paige is self-conscious about her body.

“Good idea,” Brad adds with mirth, “I don’t want to arrest you for indecent exposure.”

I’m stuck. I can’t say that I would love to see Paige naked, not on television, not in front of my mother and in-laws, and definitely not in front of my kids.

“So, Willo”—the journo smiles as the camera pans back to him—“we’ve got the scoop on what Paige thinks about the umpiring today, you’ll have to find some other material for this podcast that everyone seems to enjoy.”

I think he’s being facetious, but it’s hard to tell. “Paige and I always have something we can talk about. ”

“I’m sure you do. Now, is that young James Sterling I can see over here? Thanks, Willo and clan, and happy celebrating.”

I’m glad the camera and interviewer have gone. I’m soon miked up again for a radio interview, which is a lot calmer. As I answer the questions that come through my headphones, I look over and see Paige’s lips curved up, but her smile not reaching her eyes. That prick got to her. I want to knee him in the balls, but I know I can’t.

As I’m wrapping things up and giving my tips on the teams playing tonight, I’m pretty sure the Panthers will win, but there’s no way I’ll ever tip them. I see Paige kiss Mum on the cheek and turn to leave.

“And one last question,” I hear through my headphones when I just want to say goodbye and check on Paige, “the podcast this week, got any insider gossip about what you might talk about?”

“Actually,” I start as I see Paige slip through the exit, “we’ve got a special guest lined up. My mate, Jedda, our water boy, is stopping by to give his take on how the Monarchs are really travelling. We might have to beep out a few words if he really gets going, but he’s always such good value and an asset to have around the club.”

I sign off and hand the headphones and microphone back to the producer. We’ve got our team meeting, and I’d murder a shower. I really want to get my phone back though so I can check if Paige is really okay.

Hey, just got my phone back. You were great on the telly interview. You know he’s a prick, and he’s an ex-Panthers player, so that should tell you a lot. Also, we’re heading to The Pelican’s Arms by the foreshore for dinner and would love you to join us. I can come and get you.

There’s no reply. We make our way to the pub for dinner. There’s a fire crackling in the corner, and the replay from today’s game is on a screen over the bar.

“Is Paige joining us?” Nicola asks me.

“I don’t think so,” I tell her. “She’s coming tomorrow, though.”

“I like her.” Nicola taps my arm. She says nothing else, but her smile and the twinkle in her eyes make it clear I have her blessing.

“I wasn’t looking.” I drop my head. This is a hard conversation to have with the mother of your late wife. “Like looking for someone. She just appeared.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered if you were.” Nicola wraps her arm around my middle and gives a squeeze. She gives the best hugs, even from the side. “You deserve to be happy, Willo. I know you don’t need a woman in your life to make you happy, but if there is someone there who can help diffuse the pressure you’re under…”

I get what Nicola is saying. I’m just not sure where Paige is at and if she is thinking the same thing.

“Here you go, son.” Gio places a pot of beer in my hand. I don’t drink a lot during the season, but sometimes after a game, the amber liquid goes down well.

“Thanks.” I tip my glass towards his, and we clink them together with Nicola’s glass of wine.

“I was just telling Willo how lovely Paige is,” Nicola explains to her husband.

“She’s a rip-snorter, that girl.” He laughs as he rubs his chin. “I sat next to her this afternoon, and she was really getting into it. I hope the umpires couldn’t hear her.”

We take our seats at the large table that’s been reserved for us. The kids are sitting at the other end with Mum, Murray, and Tina. Brad is engrossed in something on his phone. I still haven’t worked out if he is naturally shy around us all, or if he really doesn’t like us. It’s a stark difference from the way Paige acts around my family. She blends in and has no trouble talking to anyone, even Gio, it would seem.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out.

Paige

Enjoy the time with your family. I’ll be out at some stage tomorrow for your celebration.

Some stage? I can’t help but feel this is a brush off.

Let me come and get you.

We spoke about her driving last week. She says she has no qualms about it, except she is not sure how she’ll go on the other side of the road. I’ve offered her the old ute to use, but she refuses every time. Maybe I’ll take her driving around the paddock and up and down the driveway at the farm sometime. Billy’s been pestering me about driving the ute, seeing he can drive the tractor at the family farm now. Perhaps it’s something we can do together, the three of us.

I get up to order, and Gio and Nicola insist I stay seated. They won’t let me buy dinner for everyone. They can’t seem to fathom that I’m no longer the broke teenager who got their youngest daughter pregnant before she finished school. We don’t make as much as US athletes with the salary caps the clubs are forced to operate under, and I’m glad the Monarchs prefer to balance out salaries for players. I know I’d get more if I played at another club, but I’m not in it for the money. It’s a game I love.

My phone buzzes again, and I look down.

Paige

It’s okay. Wilson and Jenna are picking me up.

I’m glad about that. Wilson hates being late for anything, and I know he’ll be one of the first to show up. That at least sees my shoulders relax.

Can’t wait to see you. Jedda told me after the game he can’t wait for Monday, either.

“Everything okay?” Charlene asks from next to me .

“Yeah.” I tuck my phone back in my pocket. “Where’s Brad?”

“He’s nipped out to take a call or something.” My sister rolls her eyes.

“Everything cool with you two?” I hardly ever have time to talk to her alone.

“Yeah.” She sighs and shrugs her shoulders. “Just another month of my period arriving.”

“Mum may have mentioned you might have been trying.” I take a large gulp of my beer. This is not a conversation I ever thought I’d have with my sister.

“We’ve never not been trying.” She shrugs her shoulders again. “I keep telling Brad we should see a doctor, but he says it will happen when it happens.”

“Here you go.” Nicola and Gio return from placing our orders and hand cutlery to Charlene and me, placing Brad’s at his seat. Murray does the same for those down the other end.

Our meals are brought, and the table is filled with love and laughter. Billy is the brightest I’ve seen him in months, thrilled that his uncle let him have a meal from the adult menu. He doesn’t finish it but insists he’ll bring the leftovers home. My heart is happier, even though it would be happier still if Paige was here.

Sunday dawns as a glorious winter’s day. The sun is out, and there’s a frost on the ground. I’m up early and go for a run to get the lactic acid out of my legs after yesterday’s match before I head out to feed the cows and throw a bale of hay in the sheep paddock. By the time I get back to the house, Nicola and Gio have arrived from where they stayed in town, and Nicola and Mum are cooking up a feast. They are both in their element. Gio has a coffee and the Sunday papers and has propped himself in a chair on the side verandah at the table Paige and I recorded the podcast at all those weeks ago.

The kids are in front of the television watching cartoons with bowls of cereal in their laps. They know this is a special treat, and it’s keeping them out of the way of everyone else.

“Muz is on his way,” Tina says as he pockets his phone and tries to steal some of the salad ingredients Mum is chopping. Murray also stayed in town last night, along with my sister and her husband. “No word from Charlene or doucheman.”

Tina makes no qualms in not liking his brother-in-law. They’re both in the police force, but Brad is now a sergeant, and Tina is a constable. I know Tina wants to get a post nearer to home, but he’s been stuck on the other side of the state for the last three years. Every year, he puts in transfer paperwork, and it gets rejected. I know it’s getting him down.

I head out with Tina, Billy in tow, to get chairs out of the shed. Billy loves hosing them down and threatens to douse us both in the icy water, but I know he realises Tina can give as good, if not better, than he gets. Jacko finds his way out a few minutes later and helps carry the plastic chairs from the washing station to the lawn surrounding the house. He wants them all in neat rows, and I have to explain to him that people might like to sit in circles and talk.

The trestle tables are brought out, and I wipe them down before covering them in butcher’s paper. Anything to avoid washing tablecloths. I’m sure Luna has a knack for hearing the paper crease as I fold it over the sides, but when she sees it, she grabs her felt markers and starts drawing all over the table coverings. Pick your battles, I remind myself.

“Hey.” Charlene makes her way onto the verandah and kicks off her boots. I hadn’t heard her car come up the drive.

“Where’s Brad?” I ask, assuming he isn’t too far behind.

“He said he had to get back to Lovemore Gap, and he dropped me at the gate. I’ll get a lift back with Mum.” Her eyes are bloodshot, and her smile is forced. “Is Mum inside?”

“Yeah.” I nudge Tina in the ribs as he opens his mouth. I don’t think she needs to hear whatever he’s got to say.

“Fucking doucheman.” His fists are in balls by his side. “I told you,” he mutters after his twin has gone inside .

“Poppa’s going to get ice. Who wants to go with him?” Nicola appears at the door, wiping her hands on her apron.

Jackson and Luna are super keen, but Billy wants to stay and help. He’s already rearranging the chairs and has laid a fire in the brazier in the middle of the lawn.

“Where’s Paige?” Nicola asks as we both head inside after the kids have left with their grandfather.

“She’s coming out later with some friends.” I glance down at my watch. It will still be at least an hour until she’s here.

I want to text her and tell her how I can’t wait to see her, but I don’t want to appear too desperate. As much as I have to do here to prepare for our festivities, I want her here to be part of the buildup. It’s not that I want to put her to work, just that I want her around and to be here with family and not just friends.

“Hey, Dad.” I hear Billy through the door. “How do you put the gas bottle on the barbecue?”

Trust my son to be organised. We’ve got sausages and lamb chops to cook on the barbie, and Nicola has made her famous spinach and feta lasagna for those who don’t eat meat. Mum and Nicola have made enough salads to feed the entire team for weeks, but I’m secretly glad there’ll be leftovers. Paige and I usually have lunch at the bistro on Monday, but perhaps tomorrow, I can pack a picnic of leftovers.

It’s been a great day. Some people have come and gone, but my core friends have stayed, and we’re sitting around the brazier as red gum logs burn and spit as the fire reaches the sap. One of the highlights today was seeing Billy with his grandfather manning the barbie, or grill, as Paige insisted it was called. The fairy lights that I never took down after Christmas cast a glow around the verandah.

“I’m off,” Murray comes over to tell me.

“Like a bucket of prawns in the sun.” I smirk .

“Like the bridegroom’s pyjamas,” Basha adds.

“Ha-ha.” Murray rolls his eyes. “Don’t come and see me out. I’ll be fine. Catch up sometime.”

Usually, when Murray talks, he’s got something important to say. He’s not really a people person, so I’m surprised he’s hung around for so long today.

Next to me, Bel sits on Matty’s lap. “We need to get these kids home too.” She kisses her husband on the cheek.

“And relieve Jenna from holding the baby,” Matty adds in, hugging his wife closer to him.

It’s an intimate play, but something that’s been missing in my life.

“I’ll keep him,” Jenna says softly. “He’s too adorable.”

“Wait until he’s awake at two, then three, then four, then five.” Bel laughs as she stands and stretches before reaching over and dragging her husband up from his chair.

Basha glances at his watch. Angelique looks half asleep in the chair next to her husband. “I better round up our mob.” Basha kisses the back of his wife’s hand. “And thank your brother and sister for looking after them.”

Tina and Charlene spent the afternoon playing games with the kids. Tina is one big baby anyway, so he fit right in. They had a football out and were playing kick to kick at one stage, even though most of the kids were too small to kick it very well despite who their fathers are.

Jenna reluctantly hands the baby back to his father before weaving her fingers with Wilson’s. “Tomorrow afternoon, Bel?” she asks her friend.

“I suppose.” Bel groans. “But I’ll be two sizes bigger after all the food I ate today.”

I look over to see Paige roll her lips between her teeth. “Are you ladies doing gowns already?” Basha shakes his head.

The gowns are for the Brownlow Medal presentation. It’s the night at the end of the season in Grand Final week where the League gathers and awards a medal to the player judged best and fairest by the umpires. It’s a black-tie event, and most of the women go all out. Being out with injury last year, I didn’t go. The year before, I took Mum. This year, I’d love to take Paige, but I need to work out if she’d be comfortable in that sort of situation.

As captain, we knew Matty would get an invitation, but last week, Gaz told us that Basha, Wilson, Stirling, and I had also been invited. Gaz doesn’t have a partner, so he usually takes one of the young guys from the team as his plus one. Stirling asked Kim, and she told him where to go. I really think he needs to give up on that one. She’s not at all interested. I don’t want the guys to mention the night and ask me who I’m taking before I’ve talked with Paige.

“We’re off, Willo.” Nicola and Gio head outside and come to make their farewells. “Congratulations again.”

Gio holds out his hand and grips mine in a firm shake. “Your friends are all wonderful. Don’t be afraid to pop in and visit anytime. Frankie would love to see you, and I think Enzo might even be moving home.”

This was news. I knew my friend wanted to move, but his wife didn’t want to leave the larger hospital they’d been working at. He must have convinced her to change her mind.

“Thank you both.” I pull Nicola in for a hug.

“She’s wonderful,” Nicola whispers in my ear. “Don’t fuck this up, boy.”

I don’t plan to, but then again, it’s not like I’ve ever really planned much, and things have just fallen as they will. After walking them to their car and waving them off, I head back to the house to see Matty and Basha wrangling their kids, Basha with four kids hanging off him, including Luna.

“You going home with Mrs Leonardi?” I ask Luna as I reach out to tickle her. Angelique is Luna’s teacher this term after returning from maternity leave.

“No, Daddy, and she’s Auntie Ang out of school, remember?” Luna has so much of her mother in her. It makes me smile.

I help strap kids in cars and hold Luna on my hip as we wave them off .

“We’re off too, but brilliant party, mate.” Wilson slaps me on the back.

“I can take you home, Paige,” I tell her as I see her standing with her purse.

“No, I’ll grab a lift with Jenna and Wilson. It’s all good.” Is she trying to avoid me? We’ve not spoken much today at all.

“If you’re sure?” I don’t want to sound as desperate as I feel, but I’m sure I do.

“We’ll get her home safely, Lover Boy.” Jenna kisses my cheek.

Luna and I wave longer at Wilson’s retreating car than I did for any other guest. I wish Paige was still here.

“Whose car’s that, Daddy?” Luna asks, pointing to a black Mercedes.

“That’s coach Gaz’s car,” I tell her. I’m not sure why he’s still here. He’s not a drinker, so it’s not like he’s caught a lift home with someone else.

“Right, you lot, bath, then bed,” I yell as I enter through the squeaky door, Luna still hoisted on my hip. She’s really too big for this, but I know she’s my baby, and there won’t be any more, so I give in.

“Yes, sir.” I hear Mum giggle. I think she’s been on the wine all afternoon.

I’m taking the advice of others and putting myself out there. Perhaps it’s time for her to do the same.

Tina’s asleep on the couch. Jackson turns off the television, which wakes him up, and the two of them make their way to the bathroom. When I put Luna down and turn towards the dining table, I see Mum and Gaz sitting together, their knees almost touching as they talk in hushed tones.

I’m frozen in my tracks. Charlene comes to stand beside me. “They’re cute together, don’t you think?”

I’m not sure what I think.

“Well, I’ll be off.” Gaz stands and kisses the back of my mother’s hand. “Lovely as always, Lenny. ”

Lenny? Not even my father called my mother Lenny. Len, sometimes, usually Darl.

“Congratulations again, Lovemore. I only know part of what you did to rehab your knee, and whilst I think you should celebrate it, don’t give any of the club’s secrets away, okay?”

“I won’t.” I shake my head, a smile on my face as I know he’s joking.

“I’ll see you out.” Mum grabs a coat and heads outside with Gaz.

“Can Auntie Charlene put us to bed?” Luna asks.

“If it’s alright with her.” I shrug.

“Just made a pot of tea, bro. You sit outside by your fire, and I’ll parent your kids for you.”

I know my sister speaks in jest, but after what she revealed last night, I hope she’s alright.

After pouring tea into a mug—Mum isn’t here to scold me—I head out to where we all sat around the fire earlier. Duchess wanders over and sits on my feet, and I bend down to scratch behind her ear like she loves.

It’s another ten minutes before I hear tyres on gravel, and I assume Gaz is leaving. I don’t want to think about what he and Mum have been doing out there for this long.

I want to think about Paige. I pull my phone out to text her, but it takes ages for me to come up with something to say that’s not too naff or mushy.

I enjoyed having you around this weekend to help me celebrate. Moira’s picking the kids up from school tomorrow, and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat somewhere?

I see dots bouncing on the screen. My heart is racing. My inner voice is chanting, please say yes, please say yes.

Paige

With the kids?

Shit. I wasn’t clear.

No. You and me. I feel like I haven’t seen you alone for weeks, and I, well, I miss you, and I miss talking with you.

More bouncing dots. She’s either writing an essay or as finger tied as I am. Eventually, I see the screen light up with the message before I feel the buzz.

Paige

It’s probably not the best idea.

Why?

I can almost hear Paige’s sigh from where she’s living in Bayview Cove.

The excitement from the celebrations this weekend deflates immediately.

Paige

We’re too different.

Can we talk about it tomorrow, in person, I mean?

There’s a pause.

Paige

Alright.

Over dinner?

Paige

You’re persistent, I’ll give you that.

I’ll see you at twelve anyway for lunch. Do you want bistro food or leftovers?

Paige

Oooh, is there any of that rice salad left?

I know the one she means. It’s Nicola’s specialty.

There is. I’ll bring a selection, and you can try to work out if it was Mum or Nicola who prepared it.

At least she’s still talking to me. I reread our conversation and let out a long breath. Something has spooked her, and I need to find out what.