7. Kaye

CHAPTER 7

Kaye

I t’s been over a week since I walked out on Piper in the green room. I wanted to punch her in the face for coming back and fucking up my shit.

I was fine living my life. A fucking exceptional life, thank you very much. I took the shitty existence I came from and cultivated something lucrative and successful. I was the kid whose parents barely fed her. Now, I’m a successful woman who easily garners eight figures a year, and I did it all by myself. No one gave me a leg up. There’s no nepotism involved in my success. Piper doesn’t even know the sacrifices I made for her. She’ll never know that the day our lives changed, my heart broke into so many pieces that I still haven’t been able to put it all back together in ten years. But I can’t deny that if it weren’t for her, I might not be here, and that pisses me off.

Piper pushed her way into my heart and convinced me that something more was possible. If it wasn’t for Piper, I’m not sure I would have ever discovered my sexuality or my passion for music.

Days when no one was at Hughes’ house were my favorite. Piper and I would play house, and all the problems of the world would wash away. We weren’t in impossible situations in those moments. Instead, we were two girls madly in love, longing for a happy and bright future.

Piper grabbed her bag, pulled out a record, and put it on the player. As soon as she dropped the needle on the vinyl, she turned and beamed at me. “This is us, but unlike the couple in this song, we’ll make it.”

As soon as I heard the opening chords, my heart dropped. Those first lines, filled with hope, soon became verses of pain. “No one will convince me that Tracy Chapman isn’t a lyrical genius.” I turned to Piper. “Only one problem. Neither of us has a fast car.”

Piper hung her head out the window and took a hit of the joint. “It’s a metaphor.” She butted the blunt out and walked to me, placing her hand over my black eye. “I want to kill him.”

Instinctively, I turned away from her. I’d put on so much foundation you’d think I was a beauty pageant contestant. Shielding my shame didn’t work with Piper like it did with others. As soon as she saw me, she grabbed my hand, dragged me to the bathroom, and scrubbed the CoverGirl foundation from my face. Then she’d sworn for what felt like an eternity before she fell at my feet and sobbed. It was weird to see her experience more pain over the punches I took from my father than I did.

My hand clasped hers. “I’m okay. He only got a few hits in before he fell drunk on his face. Sometimes, I like it when he drinks so much that he passes out. It’s so fucked up that the only time I enjoy being home is when he’s intoxicated. He didn’t break any bones. It’s only a bruise. It will heal.”

“That’s such bullshit. I have to get you away from him. I don’t know how, but I’ll figure something out.”

I wasn’t sure how Piper was going to get me out. I got a job to save money and get my own place. But a minimum wage at the local convenience store left little in the bank after the cost of food, feminine products, and clothes. The local restaurants would have paid more if I calculated tips, but no one wanted to hire any child of my father’s—the man who took the town’s crown jewel, knocked her up, and ruined her life. In my small town, the sins of the father automatically became the crimes of their children.

It was why I was so shocked that Larken had taken an interest in me. He was popular enough, and so many girls wanted to date him. I was na?ve. He figured I would be an easy target if I had no other options, and he wouldn’t have to put in much effort. He knew I would do what I had to for a sliver of safety. To him, I was no better than a prostitute. I suppose he wasn’t wrong. I slept with him, and he paid me with a warm bed to sleep in. Not that there was anything wrong with sex work. If a woman chose to pursue that line of work, fine. The problem was when prostitution came from desperation. Until Piper, I didn’t know anyone could care about me. Until Piper, I didn’t know what hope felt like.

“I broke up with Larken,” I blurted. Piper went to speak, but I placed my index finger over her lips. “Larken didn’t seem to care that I ended things. He held no fondness for the year he spent with me. I was a hole to fuck, and he was my escape from the hell I called home. You made me see that I’d rather take more punches in the face than have his hands on me. I don’t want to be with anyone but you, Piper.”

I removed my finger, and Piper beamed at me. Her smile was so radiant that I knew I would tolerate hell to make her happy.

I shrugged and smiled back at her. “Besides, faking orgasms is kind of exhausting.”

We laughed at my self-deprecating joke.

Piper sobered quickly. “Sneak into my room at night.”

I shook my head adamantly. “No. If your parents ever caught me in your room, they would go mental. If it were Larken, they’d call me a whore and pat him on the back after confirming he used protection. Who fuckin’ knows what they would do to you?”

“They sure as fuck won’t hit me,” Piper said. “I know that.”

“They might send you to boarding school.”

Piper laughed. “That’s funny. Send your lesbian daughter to a boarding school with a bunch of hard-up, horny girls to get her away from her girlfriend.” The laughter subsided. “No matter what they do, it won’t change the fact that I’m gay.”

My heart stopped at her words. “What did you say?”

“No matter what they do, it won’t change the fact that I’m gay.”

“No, the part before that? What would they be getting you away from?”

Piper smiled. “Oh, the part where I called you my girlfriend? ”

“Yes, that part.”

“Well, that’s what you are, isn’t it?”

Girlfriend. A word that most people used casually. But for me, a girl who’d had no one to care for her, those two syllables were life-altering. Because Piper had said I belonged to her.

“Make sure my girlfriend gets treated well,” Piper yells to the roadies as she wraps an arm around the groupie from the other night—the groupie who had her face shoved up Piper’s pussy like it was her source of oxygen.

I hated the groupie.

I despised Piper.

If it were possible to burn two people alive by looking at them, they would be in flames and, hopefully, excruciating pain.

The blonde groupie bats her eyelashes and preens like she’s somebody. How the fuck is Piper okay with the girl hanging all over her when she marched off to fuck the guys from Gutless Void as soon as the opportunity presented itself? It would serve Piper right if the little groupie humiliated her. I should’ve invited the redheaded to be my little girlfriend for the rest of the tour.

“Who are you trying to set a blaze?”

I jump at Iggy’s deep timbre.

“No one.”

I push past him to the stage and pretend I’m looking at the lighting, which I know next to nothing about. My job doesn’t even require me to be backstage at all, but here I am, stalking my ex-girlfriend and her new plaything like a little psycho. I’m so fucking pathetic.

Iggy chuckles. “Gotta give it to you. You’ve got good taste. Piper Hughes is pretty fuckin’ hot.”

An obnoxious smile creeps onto his face as I whirl around and jab my finger into his solid chest. “You don’t need to worry about how hot she is.”

Iggy laughs, holding his hands up. “You’ve got it bad.”

“I’ve got nothing but an urge to shove my foot up your ass.”

“Denial is a river in Egypt.”

I glare at Iggy. “That’s a stupid saying. It’s The Nile, not denial, so it makes zero sense.”

Iggy’s head tilts, and I’m sure he’s dramatically rolling his eyes beneath the gas mask. “Anyway, you bang her yet?”

“Who?”

“Oh, come on, Kaye, you aren’t this obtuse. You know who I’m talking about. Piper. Have you banged her yet?”

I step forward, forcing Iggy to take a step back. I must admit I enjoy how these four big men fear little old me. “Unlike some people, I don’t shit where I eat.”

“Hey, I don’t shit where I eat,” Iggy says, outraged.

“Is that why you’re not talking to Marley?”

Iggy straightens his shoulders and clenches his fists. I’ve struck a nerve, which is saying something since Iggy’s nerves are Teflon-coated.

He grips my shoulders and turns me around until Piper is the only person in my line of vision. “Focus, Kaye. Keep your eyes on the prize.”

“The band is the prize,” I whisper, tasting the bitter truth of the lie wrapped around the tip of my tongue like venom.

“Music is the fuel, but love is the prize. Look at Cain and Lars. They’re much happier than the rest of us because their lives are full. Billie completed them. As cheesy as all that shit is, it’s a hard truth. Life without love is no life at all.”

My eyes flutter shut, and I push back all the emotions surging inside me: anger, lust, rage, fear, love, and regret. “Sometimes, love can’t win. Sometimes, too much is stacked against you. Sometimes, love tears us apart.”