Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

T he next day, Eldon didn't come for breakfast. Rosa tried to reach out to him with her magic, but she was met with a blank wall. She let it slide. The whole house was tense, and she couldn't blame him for staying away. She was still shaken from the night before, her mind burning. Eldon would know how to control it, this insatiable want and the memory of Balthasar's magic that still gripped hers.

"I wouldn't worry too much about Eldon, lass," Vera said as Rosa helped put the breakfast trays in order. "You know how moody these Vane men can be. Changing his surname doesn't mean a damn thing."

Rosa put together an additional tray, but instead of sending it up with Belinda or one of the other servants, she carried it into the passages and headed up to the tower.

Balthasar had told her of the time he had spent in the cells after she was taken, but Rosa had never been encouraged to explore them. Using the Wylt keys, she unlocked the reinforced doors and stepped inside. There were only four cells, and all were extremely clean. According to Balthasar, they didn't keep prisoners unless they had to. Any dirty business was always dealt with elsewhere.

Having spent time in a cell, Rosa felt curiously reluctant to let their latest guest suffer unnecessarily, even if a part of her wanted to. They had both been in the hands of the Autumn Queen, and it connected them.

Nimue had been shackled in her cell. Eli assured Rosa they stopped the fae from using magic, and it made her comfortable opening the cell and delivering the food in person. Nimue pressed herself against the wall, her face ashen.

"Good morning," Rosa said and placed the tray down on her bed.

"Who are you ?" Nimue demanded. "You look so much…"

"Like Deryn. Yep, I've been told. Here, you should eat something." Nimue hesitated, her pale blue eyes looking longingly at the porridge, bacon, eggs, and fruit. "It's not poisoned. Trust me; if they wanted to kill you, Bleddyn would do it with steel, not stealth."

Nimue all but fell on the food, scooping as much of it in her mouth as would fit. Despite the bruises and cuts on her face, and the ragged, dirty cloak around her, she was remarkably beautiful with a bronze sheen to her hair and golden undertones on her pale skin.

"You should slow down, so you don't throw it back up," Rosa suggested. "How long has it been since you ate?"

"My last meal was here at Gwaed Lyn," Nimue answered through a mouthful of grapes.

"But that was hundreds of years ago. How are you not dead?"

"Hundreds?" Nimue's voice was small. "The day…the bad day when Deryn died feels like yesterday to me."

"Where have you been all this time?"

"At the bottom of a lake in the Aos Si. I only escaped my prison a few days ago."

"How come you didn't drown?"

"Some trick of the queen's. I don't remember much," Nimue admitted. "Just a deep, deep cold and crushing darkness. No breath, no voice, and no hope."

"Sounds like the Autumn Queen," Rosa muttered.

"Are you a descendant of Deryn's?"

"Yes."

"Then you are the Lady of Gwaed Lyn now. It's a good position to be in…while it lasts," Nimue said with a touch of spite. "Do you know how long Merlin and Bleddyn are going to keep me locked up in here?"

"For as long as they wish. You left them with a somewhat lasting impression."

"I've paid for my sins."

"You'll have to convince them of that," Rosa replied.

"Will you petition Merlin for me?" Nimue asked it so sweetly, her whole demeanor changing to a crushed damsel.

Thank God, Lily isn't here, or she'd lap it up , Rosa thought, remembering the same trick Pearl used to use on her.

"Hell no, I won't petition him for you. Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, Nimue. I could happily strangle you for the pain you have caused the men in my life. I suggest you take this time to self-reflect, get your story straight and think about how you can be useful to us. It's the only thing that will keep your head on your shoulders."

Nimue's eyes grew cold, and Rosa could see Ryn Eurion looking out at her. "I understand, Rosa Wylt, but tell me, which one are you in love with?"

"All of them, so watch your back if you think to cross them again." Rosa locked the door behind her, feeling like she'd just made another enemy.

Just one more to add to the list, Wylt .

Rosa fought the urge to hunt Eldon down for most of the morning. By afternoon tea, she tried to touch him again with her power, but there was only some void of emptiness. Rosa pulled on her jacket and headed to the cottage. After receiving no reply from her knocking, she opened the front door and let herself in.

"Eldon?" Rosa hesitated only a second before heading upstairs. "You better be wearing pants up here, because if not, I'm going to see your bare Welsh ass."

She opened the bedroom door, but the bed was undisturbed, as if it hadn't been slept in at all.

"Where the hell… Backdoor ," she whispered before texting Balthasar and heading for the lake.

Nimue paced the cell for as long as the chains would allow. Her legs felt weak from disuse, and her body ached from the beating that the queen's warriors had given her.

Tiring out, she sat down on the crib and clutched at her head. It was as if she had double vision, and she had two tongues. She hadn't wanted to provoke Rosa, but she had no control over what she was saying.

She wanted what she had wanted for the past thousand years—Merlin. Seeing him at the lakeside was like watching a miracle. Flesh and blood and alive.

A searing pain lashed through her head, and she heard the Autumn Queen's chuckle. Do not pine for the family you will never have. After what you did, they will never love or trust you again.

"Get out of my head!" Nimue pleaded.

I am a part of you now, girl, and your will is my will, your eyes my eyes. You failed to deliver the Seren Du family to me once, and I will not tolerate your failure again.

"Bleddyn will know what you've done to me, and he'll stop you."

The queen's retaliation was sharp and agonizing. He will not even know that I am here, and you will not be able to tell him. He is not the man you think him to be. He will never forgive or save you for what you did to his love.

"Be silent, witch!" she screamed at the walls of the cell. She needed a way to tell Bleddyn everything and convince him that she'd been used.

Even if you earn Bleddyn's forgiveness and he welcomes you back into his family, he will never look at you the same again, my broken, deformed creature .

It was dusk when Eldon stumbled out of The Lancelot and shuffled his way to the Tor, fighting the urge to shout incoherently at the tourists milling about in Wellhouse Lane. Heaven above, he hated and loved the place, unable to shake it even when his memories were in ragged tatters.

Haven't you punished me enough? Eldon thought as he climbed the Tor and found a quiet spot to sit against the tower. With a complicated motion of his hands, the floodlights illuminating the tower went out, cloaking him in comfortable darkness.

"Of all the people you could have chosen to bring back, why her? Why not someone useful? I thought I had been doing well in the last few months. Now this…" Eldon said to the night sky, the anger and confusion burning through him.

"Who are you talking to?" a small voice asked through the shadows.

"A god with a unique sense of humor. How did you get here?"

"You were the one silly enough to show me your ley line. I used it."

"I'm surprised it let you…irrelevant. Why are you here?" Eldon asked gruffly.

Rosa sat down on the damp grass beside him. "You were gone," she replied. "I needed to know you were going to come back."

"You've got some strong abandonment issues, don't you?"

"I was dumped in a boarding school with no memories after my father died and was left on my own for bloody years. You could say I've pretty good reason to have my issues." She took a silver flask from her pocket, took a swig, and offered it to him.

"Isn't this Saul's?" Eldon gave her a questioning look.

"He was a moody jerk this morning, so I picked his pocket. He always has the best whiskey."

"Good lass." Eldon had been drinking all day, but he still took a large mouthful.

"So what now? Are you going to hide out here and sulk?" she asked.

"I was planning on it. I'm an excellent sulker."

"I can tell. You can't hide from it forever."

" It has a name, and it can't be trusted. Whatever she's told you about why she is here, only twenty percent of it will be the truth."

"She told me to petition you."

"Ha! And what did you say?"

Rosa smiled and took another sip from the flask. "I told her hell no."

"That's my girl."

"She's got information that we can use. She would tell you a lot more than she'll tell me." Rosa hesitated before adding, "She said the Autumn Queen kept her trapped at the bottom of a lake since the day Ryn raided Gwaed Lyn."

"She should've stayed there."

"She said she broke out."

"Broke out or was let out," Eldon added. "Although, if the Autumn Queen's power is weakening, then who knows what's going to come creeping out of their prisons."

"Excellent! Then we agree that we need you," Rosa said, shifting closer and taking his scarred hand. He contemplated removing it, but it was only a moment before he twisted his fingers around hers. Weakness .

"You don't think I would leave you alone with all those posturing men fighting for your attention," he replied, and she squeezed his fingers.

"They aren't trying to get my attention. Just one, and Bal got it." The self-satisfied smirk on her face was pure Wylt.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Rhosyn."

"Saul will flirt, but he will flirt with anyone, and Eli helped raise me."

"My father, as Eli, is a tame, almost human, construct," Eldon tried to explain. "When he is Bleddyn, he's as wild and elemental as a lightning storm. He is a different beast altogether. He's unrestrained, older, and more powerful than your mind can comprehend. He's the wild thing in the night."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm drunk and uneasy, and you are the glue that holds us all together. You know how to be what we need. You stood up to Bleddyn last night and stopped him from killing Nimue." Eldon shook his head. "You don't understand the pain she caused that day with Ryn. She undid this family. Yet, you made him stop. Only Deryn could do that. You aren't her. I know that. But the Star of Midnight, the Seren Du himself, harkens to you. He loves you, and he respects you."

"He didn't love me enough to come after me when Ryn took me," Rosa said, her voice bruised.

"No. He only offered to trade Widow's Fury to get you back."

"What? I didn't… He didn't tell me that." She was frowning as if trying to grasp a memory. "In the courts there was… The queen talked to a mirror."

"He would've used it to contact her directly." Eldon barked a bitter laugh. "If Balthasar hadn't disobeyed and gone after you, I have no doubt Bleddyn would have."

"I didn't realize."

"The love of a powerful creature is a curious thing. Take it from the only person who truly knows. He might not be the easiest person to understand at times, but once he lets you in, there is no getting out. Even when you deserve it least, he will come for you."

"That sounds like experience talking."

"It is," Eldon murmured before drinking from the flask again. "My mind was as shattered as my heart after Nimue. But Bleddyn…he was something else entirely. Deryn is the only woman he has ever loved in his long life. I was angry, but he was ready to burn worlds."

"What happened?"

"To my eternal shame, I left him. I had brought his enemy's daughter into his house, and she'd taken everything from him. That was on me, and I couldn't live with it, the despair, pain, and anger that was etched into every line of Bleddyn's soul. So I ran."

Rosa lifted his arm up and put it around her shoulders. "Tell me about it."

After Bleddyn let me out of the tree that Nimue had trapped me in, I wandered out of the protective lands of Gwaed Lyn. I left him in a storm of blame and heartache. We couldn't look at each other without seeing Deryn, and without her to calm his mood, the constant anger and pain had nowhere to go. I don't remember much of that time, just walking until exhaustion claimed me and I would find a dry place to sleep before continuing on my way. I can't tell you how long this went on, but it was in the Caledonian Forest that I ended up.

In the years that I went mad, the forest was a much wilder place than it is today. It was a time before the wolves and the bears went away, and the foxes and elks were in abundance. This sprawling ancient beauty of oak and pinewoods, birch and misty temperate rain forest was to become dearer, more precious than life itself to me. He embraced me in his wild loving arms and drew me into the dark places, and its secrets unfolded in front of me like an array of jewels.

I ranted at the trees and stones, fighting voices and shadows, screaming my pain at the wilds. I did not expect the wilds to answer me back.

I remember the morning exactly. There was sunlight filtering through the canopy and sparking off the streambed. I watched, mesmerized, as a great stag walked to the water to drink. It lifted its head and started to transform. The antlers shrank to smaller horns, white bone tinged with blood, and a man grew out of the stag body. I started to tremble, feeling the power rolling off him, ancient and terrible.

"Myrddin Wylt," his voice was a rumble of stone against stone, deep and commanding. "The forest can feel your suffering and sends me with an offer to see the forest through its eyes, to help you in a new life."

I was in no position or mindset to refuse, so I took his hand and let the forest open up its magic and secrets to me.

It's impossible to describe those first few years where I could spend a day watching the leaves change from green to gold and blooming wildflowers would set me weeping.

I lost myself. Perhaps 'lost' implies that it wasn't intentional. It was. I gave myself over to it, walking with the Guardian of Caledonia, entranced by all that he showed me. Through the land, I felt the pain that Albion was suffering under the rule of the Romans, the raiders and inevitable spread of man himself as they bred and built.

I had been so sheltered in Gwaed Lyn, separated from the general plights of man and country in the pure, safe bubble that Bleddyn and Deryn had raised me in. Was I not human as well as Unseelie? What use was were talents, my knowledge, if they weren't going to be used to help make Albion better, to guide men along the way?

Through the forests, my knowledge increased. I could listen to the trees speaking to each other, and I could converse with animals in their native tongue. I became so used to speaking with animals that when Bleddyn came to me in the form of a wolf, I didn't recognize him. I was too lost in the forest to see him for what he really was. It wasn't until years later, I learned that Bleddyn had roused himself from his grief, and fearing I would befall some misfortune, had hunted me down.

Not wanting to scare or threaten the spirit that was inside of me, which could easily have killed me, he followed me and watched over me in wolf form. He spoke to me, gently prompting memories of my family and of my life so that I would not forget myself altogether. The dear wolf companion couldn't convince me to let the forest go, however. I needed assistance from a much higher power than Bleddyn Blackstar.

Faith is a curious and powerful thing, and when one finds it truly and completely, their conviction can never be shattered. To brush against something so complete, immense and incomprehensible, sets common man's spirit trembling inside of them. People today go to their religious buildings, murmur their platitudes and never dig deeper into the great mysteries. It scares them too much to search for the Truth of all Things for themselves. And so they wrap themselves in unnecessary ritual and false judgments, selecting and misinterpreting to justify their own petty and prejudiced beliefs. If they opened themselves up to a true experience with the Creator, they would piss themselves in fear for how wrong and meaningless their show of 'faith' has been.

Let me tell you this. If a man does have a true experience, plunges himself deep into that dark night and finds his Maker there, two things will happen. First, he will very rarely relay the experience to anyone, he will hold it close and quiet, and private as a true relationship is with his god. The second thing is that he will never, ever be the same again.

What happened next, when I was ready to relinquish the last of my spirit and die, a visitor came to me. I can see you bursting with wrong information, Rosa Wylt. In some stories, the visitor is a priest, Aneiran the scribe, Taliesin the prophet, Blaise the teacher and the devil himself. In truth, there was nothing remotely striking or special about the man who appeared at my fireside.

Bleddyn had gone hunting. He would always bring me back something if he thought I had gone too many days without eating, and I didn't expect to see him until morning. The man who sat down by the fire was unremarkable. I couldn't tell you about his features. His hair could have been black or brown, clothing plain, beard neat. I remember his eyes, though not the color as such but the feel of them on me. It was as if he could see and know everything about me. The shame and guilt I carried. Yet, he understood and loved me anyway. It was like meeting a long-lost friend that you didn't even realize you were missing.

We talked, though I can't remember what about. Everything and anything, I imagine. I know when I tried to make the forest leave me so I could speak with him freely, it hung on, like a burr in my head that I couldn't dislodge. In the end, the stranger placed two fingers on my forehead, and the forest let go, leaving my mind free and my soul shaken to its core.

"Shake the dust off your feet, Myrddin," this visitor said to me. "Albion needs you. I will guide your path and protect you from death until the work is done."

Then he was gone with the dawn.

When Bleddyn arrived back at the cave, he knew I was myself again—broken, shattered, and disorientated but whole once more. He took me back to Gwaed Lyn where he nursed me back to my old strength. I was not the same boy anymore. I was a man with a new life and a fresh missive from the Great Creator himself to help save Albion.

Bleddyn was incensed when I told him of my plans. "You can't interfere with man. Their lives, their wars are but guttering flames to ones such as us. If you reveal your abilities to them, they will hunt you to the ends of the earth," he argued. He still likes to argue this with me. He doesn't have faith as I do, but I know, I've even tested it in the black waters of an underworld, that the Creator isn't going to let me die until I have fulfilled what I need to.

Even though he hated the idea, Bleddyn let me go. He's always welcomed me and any strays—yes, Rosa, including Arthur when his time came, though I won't speak of him. Not now. Maybe never again.

So this is the truth of my madness, dear Rhosyn. Nimue's betrayal broke my heart, my spirit, and mind to the point only the Creator could put me back together. To let her have another try at killing us all is courting disaster. She crushed Bleddyn, and he'll only suffer her presence for so long.

I have only ever known one other woman that knew how to cause more destruction than Nimue, but now is not the time to speak of her either. Not in this place.

Here ends my tale. You have been warned.

Eldon finished his story, and Rosa helped him to his unsteady feet. "Come on, let's go home," she coaxed gently. "Eli and Bal will be worried about us."

As if sensing it, Rosa's mobile rang, and she fumbled to answer it. "Yes, Eli, I have him. We will be right there."

Without argument, and with an arm around her shoulders to steady him, they walked to the bottom of the Tor, opened the ley line, and went home.