Four

Icock my head and cross my arms, narrowing my gaze on my brother, who's acting extremely suspicious at the moment. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

"Okay, just hear me out." He holds his hands out like I might jump him any second, then slowly lowers himself onto the bed beside me. "Remember when we were kids and we used to switch places all the time to trick people?"

"Not sure where you're going with this, but—"

"I need you to play for the Dragons for me."

My mouth drops open as a scoff leaves me. "You're kidding." His intensely pleading stare doesn't give me a lot of hope that he's joking, but I laugh anyway. "Please tell me you're not serious."

He frowns as his shoulders slump. "It would just be for a few weeks while I rest my wrist. I cannot risk injuring it further or losing face as a player."

I swing my gaze toward the ceiling with an eye roll. "Has your common sense been abducted by aliens?"

"Jude," he says , desperation lining his voice. "I would never ask this of you. Not if I didn't think I was seriously at risk of losing this spot. But it could be the answer to our parents' financial woes. All our financial woes, really."

His words burrow into my brain, right next to where I've tucked away our family motto: Family comes first. It's been ingrained in me from the time I was young that we do what we can for our blood, no matter what. But his idea of us switching places borders on insanity.

"So don't quit playing," I supply. "Wrap it up good and see what you're able to handle." I realize my last-ditch desperate attempt to dissuade my brother is lost when Joel shakes his head at me.

"I can't even grip the stick; Gwen made me try. She said that if I attempted to play like this, I'll absolutely worsen the sprain. Have you been zoning out this whole time or what? I just told you that if I don't rest the tendons and ligaments, I could cause permanent injury to them."

Gwen appears in the doorway with a sheepish look. "I take it he asked you?"

"You knew about this?" There's no masking the incredulousness in my tone. Usually Gwen is the level-headed, practical type. But this…this is neither of those things.

Her throat bobs on a swallow. "We'd never ask this of you if we weren't desperate, Jude. He can't lose this scout's interest. It's not just his dream," she says, reaching a hand out to grasp Joel's. "It's the answer we've been praying for."

I shoot to my feet and begin to pace. Clearly, they've both lost their minds. "We can't do this. Even if people can't tell us apart by appearance, I'll never pass for him on the ice." Planting my hands on my hips, I face them. "I'm not as skilled of a player."

"You bet you're not. And don't you forget it."

Gwen cuts Joel a scathing look while I hold out my hands to her like, See? The man is right for once.

"Jude, you could've pursued a professional hockey career and you know it." Her scolding tone holds a hint of awe. "You were the one who chose a different route, despite the scouts knocking on your door too, in case you've forgotten."

I haven't forgotten. But hockey wasn't embedded in my soul the way skating was. Sure, I loved playing opposite Joel in high school. It was thrilling and fun, but it wasn't what I loved. And I've gotten rusty over the years, while Joel has improved his skills. That's made abundantly clear every time we've taken to the ice on the rare occasion that we feel like playing together when we're both free at the same time.

"Listen," Gwen starts in again, holding her hands up to us like we're toddlers about to brawl. "Joel can help you hone your skills. Besides, there's practice for that."

"Practice?" I run my hand through my hair, mussing it up. "I've got my own practices to go to, in case you've forgotten what I do for a living."

"But you don't have any competitions coming up for months," Joel says. "Your training isn't as intense right now. This is only for a matter of a few weeks until I can grip the stick again."

I cross my arms, hating this little ruse they came up with. "What if I'm caught, Joel? They'd probably kick you off the team permanently. Who knows what they'd do to me? Press charges for impersonation or something? Is that a thing?"

"I don't know," Gwen murmurs, biting her lip.

"Yeah, me neither." I hold Joel's gaze, hoping he weighs the seriousness of what he's suggesting we do. "But it's more than your career on the line here; mine is too."

"You said is." Joel's eyes glitter with that shining hope again. I instantly want to slap him.

"Huh?"

"You said is. That means, at least in your mind, you've already agreed to do it."

I give my head a violent shake and back away. "No, no it does not. I'm not agreeing to this."

A tense silence permeates the air until Joel quietly asks, "Not even for your new niece or nephew? Their financial future depends on my success too."

Something sharp pricks my heart, right in the center. Something that feels an awful lot like sympathy. I stare at the floor, trying and failing to work out another scenario where everyone will benefit.

"Look, I don't want Joel to miss his chance, or put you guys in dire straits because of some dumb injury," I say. "I love you both, and of course I want the best for everyone involved." Even as I say it, I'm forced to swallow down the lump that forms at the thought of my brother having to potentially give up something he's worked relentlessly for. "But this is way too risky. Even if we pull it off, even if I can up my game and pass for a pro hockey player, there's no guarantee I won't get caught."

"I know," Joel says. "That's why I think we should take it day by day, game by game. You'll be able to tell if the guys get suspicious of you. Coach, too. You can watch for any red flags. But if they accept you and never question it, you're good."

"And if they start to question it?"

"Then I'll be at the next game or practice. I won't let you take the fall. I'll just have to push through the pain, even if I'm not fully healed yet, and accept the consequences of a more serious injury, come what may."

Gwen grimaces at that, but she offers a reluctant nod. "But at least at that point, I'll know we'd tried all we could."

"Will you get your wrist checked out by a doc?" I ask.

Joel mulls this over for a silent second. "If that's your only caveat to do this, yeah, I will. But it'll be a private doc. Someone unrelated to the Dragons' franchise."

I nod, then direct my attention to Gwen when she speaks. "I'll look after him too," she insists. "I'm pretty confident it's not fractured, but that is a possibility with the level of pain he's experiencing."

"So you'll do this?" Joel questions.

I must be nuts because I'm actually considering it. I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. But what's a few weeks? It can't be that many games and practices. Right? If me showing up as him for a little while until he's fully recovered means he'll be a shoo-in for this local pro position, it feels wrong not to try.

"Can't believe I'm agreeing to it, but yeah."

Gwen's squeal fills the air, and she launches herself at me. I catch Joel's wide grin over her shoulder as she bounces up and down in my arms, thanking me profusely. When she steps back, I level them both with the most serious glare I can muster.

"If I catch even a whiff of skepticism from anyone on the team or in the Dragons' franchise, I'm out. Got it?"

Joel nods. "Understood."

"And." I hold up a finger. "I expect you to name this baby after me."

Joel scoffs, but Gwen asks, "What if it's a girl?"

"Judith, then." I cross my arms, deadly serious. "And if it's a boy, Jude Jr."

Joel slides me a deadpan look while Gwen smiles sweetly. "I promise we'll consider it."

"No, we won't," Joel mutters.

Gwen steps toward me, ignoring him. "The only really depressing part about all this is that you'll have to cut your pretty hair." She runs her hand through my shoulder-length hair, and I jerk away.

"Kenzie won't like it," I say, patting my locks down.

"Kenzie's not your girlfriend or wife and shouldn't get a say in how your hair looks." Joel raises one eyebrow, obviously judging me.

"True, but she's my best friend and partner. Everything we do reflects on one another." I let my gaze land on both of them before continuing. "Which means she'll need to be let in on this little secret."

Gwen bites her lip and wrings her hands, while Joel shakes his head. "I don't like it. The less people who know, the better."

"She won't tell a soul," I insist. "Besides, she'll need to know why I'm rearranging our practice routine. If I can even do that. Coach Zellers won't like us changing things up, but I'm hoping I can cite some…family something as an excuse."

Gwen and Joel share a look before they agree. "But just her," Joel says. "No one else."

"Done." Not thinking, I grab his hand to shake it, and he cries out in pain. "Oh, dude, sorry. Forgot."

"Jude, we can't thank you enough for this." Gwen's misty-eyed look is enough to send warmth ricocheting through me; the kind you get when you've completed a good deed. Or from helping an elderly person with their groceries or buying a cup of lemonade from a kid trying to make a buck.

"You're welcome," I tell Gwen when she wraps me in a hug. "You guys are family, and I know you'd do the same for me or Mom and Dad."

"Speaking of," Joel says. "We're not going to tell them."

I cock my head in disbelief. "How are we going to pull that off?"

"We'll just avoid going to see them for a while. But I'll call them and give them updates as usual. They never need to know." Right away, he adds, "Mom doesn't need the stress."

Joel's right. Mom is in a precarious state right now, and Dad is too with managing her care. They don't need to know that both of their successful sons whom they've dedicated their entire lives and savings to are risking it all to pay their remaining debts.

"Okay." I push out a reluctant sigh. "We won't tell them."

Gwen invites us all to the kitchen for a piece of pie, and I settle in at the table, listening to her talk about their first OB appointment. They speak of how they got to hear the baby's heartbeat before showing me a picture of the sonogram. It's cool and weird all at the same time.

My brother—my twin—is having a baby, starting a family.

A twinge of jealousy slices through me. Joel's already having kids, and I don't have a single dating prospect. Even Kenzie, the eternal flirt, is now in a serious relationship. I feel…behind. In life, in love, all of it.

Gwen starts in on what her symptoms have been, so I shove the thoughts of inferiority away to pay attention. But I already know that when I'm alone in my bed later tonight, all those insecurities will come back to haunt me. And I'll start to wonder if I'll ever catch up.