Twenty-Two

My heart still hasn't recovered from seeing Lex straddling Jude, landing blow after punishing blow to his face. My hands are shaky, my heart racing as Ronnie directs me out the door of the arena to her Jeep. Indy bops along beside us, oblivious to my rising anxiety.

"He's okay," Ronnie croons with a hand on my back, making soothing circles. "You saw him on the bench. He looked okay."

I squeeze the spot between my eyes with two fingers, needing to relieve the building pressure in my head. "You keep saying okay. Okay is not good, Ron. And it's definitely not great." We reach her Wrangler, and I whip open the passenger side door and climb into the seat.

Normally, we would've stuck around to tell the guys good game, but I just couldn't. There was no way I'd be able to see Jude and not want to run to him. I'd ruin us both in a second if I let my emotions get the best of me.

Besides, I don't want to risk seeing Lex. I would absolutely flip out on him and probably land myself a pretty little restraining order. Either way, sticking around isn't a good idea. I'll just have to settle for chewing him out via text before blocking his sorry butt.

After getting Indy buckled up in the back, Ronnie gets into the driver's seat and starts her vehicle. "Listen, let's get back to the hotel, put on our comfy pajamas, mix up a face mask or two, then veg. I even packed some snacks. Once you're thoroughly calmed down, you can text…" She trails off, tossing a look at Indy, then corrects herself. "You can text him and see how he's doing."

I note the way Ronnie's knuckles tighten around the steering wheel as she pulls out of the parking lot.

She made it clear after I explained the situation with Jude that she would support me being in a new relationship with a guy I'm crazy about, but she is not okay with the whole twin switcheroo. Which I get. Totally. I'm just afraid she'll accidentally spill the beans to Archer somehow.

"I know it's hard for you to keep this to yourself," I say, keeping my voice low and infusing it with all the compassion I can muster despite my growing anxiety over Jude's wellbeing. "But I have to see him tonight."

She sighs as she glances at me. "I really don't think it's a good idea."

"I know." Staring down at my hands, I pick at the faded black nail polish. "I know I'm doing a lot of things lately that seem like bad ideas. I'm acting out of character, and I don't want to worry you. But there's just a lot going on right now and…" Unexpectedly, my eyes well with tears, cutting off my next words.

"Hey," she croons, placing a hand on my arm. "Chantelle, I love you. I'm here for you. If there's more going on, you know you can tell me."

I wipe my eyes and stare at my friend. Ronnie's always been there for me. During high school and my breakup with Lex…and I've been there for her too. Maybe it's time I fessed up to her about school and being an author. Keeping this from her makes me feel like a terrible person and like I don't deserve her friendship.

What will she say when she knows I've been holding back so much from her? And right on the heels of finding me making out with Jude at Archer's while he was pretending to be Joel? I won't just be a disappointment to my parents, I'll be a disappointment to my best friend.

Turning back to the window, I swipe at my tears, allowing myself to feel the weight of my secrets. I hate this constant feeling of teetering over the edge. With just one wrong move, I could slip and lose everything I've been trying so hard to hold on to.

Ronnie's silent as I cry, giving me the space I need. Probably waiting until I gather enough courage to tell her what's up. Indy's soft snores drift from the back seat, giving me the freedom to speak my mind.

"There's more I haven't told you," I admit. Ronnie doesn't say anything at first. Not until we pull into the hotel's parking garage, and she parks the car.

After turning off the engine, she swivels toward me. "What is it, Chantelle?"

Tears hang heavy on my lashes as I glance back at Indy. Her still, sleeping form is angelic. I turn to my friend and ask, "Can we talk about it inside? Let's settle in like you suggested. Veg out. And I'll tell you everything."

She draws her mouth into a thin line, but she nods her agreement. The stilted air between us pulses with tension as she carries Indy to Archer's hotel room. After she slips inside, I head to ours and change into my pajamas. Once Archer arrives to take over and she returns, neither one of us seems to know what to say. We begin to apply our face masks when Ronnie spins toward me with a huff.

"Does any of this have to do with Lex's sudden reappearance?"

"No, it doesn't." I swipe the last of the French clay mask on, then face her with a sigh. "But you've obviously been wondering what's going on this entire time, so let's just get into it."

I move toward the bed, swiping a bag of maple bourbon chips on the way. "I'm gonna need an unhealthy amount of sodium to get me through this, though. So no judging when I devour this entire bag." I hold up my chip bag and she chuckles.

"It's about time you joined the dark side. You already know this pack of cookies will be gone in minutes." She rips open her bag of chocolate chip cookies and shoves one in her mouth without even a hint of milk. I cringe.

I sit with my legs crisscrossed on the bed opposite her and down a handful of chips as I collect my thoughts. No matter what, there's only one way I see this scene going down. She will be disappointed in me for not telling her the truth. She may understand why I dropped out of school, she may not, but ultimately, she'll be hurt that I never told her.

"Okay," I say on a sigh. "Just know that I didn't keep anything from you to hurt you. It's just that…I made a really radical decision about my future. And I already knew my dad and mom would freak if they found out. So…" I toss another chip in my mouth, delaying the inevitable, and crunch away.

"I guess I convinced myself that because you're super successful in your own right, you'd discourage me from this. And I decided it would be better to never tell a soul. That way…if I failed…no one would ever know." As soon as the truth is out, my chest expands with a full breath of air.

She slows her chewing and gives me a nod. "Okay. But you should've known that I would never rub your nose in your failures, even if I didn't agree with your choices. And I would never repeat something you wanted to keep private, not to anyone. We're sisters, Chantelle."

My heart aches with the truth she lobs at me. She's right, we are, but she hasn't always been that forthright with me. "You didn't tell me everything either, Ron," I gently remind her. "Some things were too hard for you to share, too."

Regret passes over her features as her face scrunches, and she bites off half of another cookie. "I know." Silence settles over us for a moment until she asks, "Is that another reason why you've kept this from me? Because I didn't let you in on what went on with my mom?"

"No," I answer immediately. "It's not that. But…when I tell you what I did, you're going to think I'm crazy."

She tilts her head accusingly. "Try me."

Inhaling a deep breath and releasing it, I rush out the words. "Iquitschooltopursueacareerasaromanceauthor."

"Umm, excuse me, what?" She leans forward, eyes wide over her white-framed glasses.

"What?" I ask with my most innocent expression. "I just told you. Not my fault if you weren't listening."

"I was listening, you little twerp, and I think I may have heard something about quitting school, but...then I think I also heard romance author, which seems…odd."

I cover my face and shake my head. "This is why I didn't want to tell anyone!" I cry, but my hands muffle my response, and it probably sounds more like nonsense than anything else.

Something rustles across from me. The bed dips at my side and Ronnie's warm arm comes around me. "Hey, it's okay. Let's start at the beginning and try again." She gives my arm a reassuring pat. "Did you or did you not quit school?"

I drag my gaze to hers. "Yes. I quit school and didn't tell anyone." I wince, waiting for the disappointment in her expression, but it never comes.

Instead, she pushes out a breath and gives me a squeeze. "That's a big deal, Chantelle."

"I know." Looking down at the chip bag in my lap, I add, "And I know it was wrong not to tell my dad about my plans, especially since he paid for my first two years, but after this fall semester, I realized that a career in sports journalism isn't for me. In fact, I started to dread even the thought of it."

"And you're afraid you'll let him down if you explain that to him?" Ronnie asks.

I set the chips aside and adjust my body to face my friend. "Yeah. He won't understand. I know he won't." A memory of the time I tried to plant the seed of my dreams into Dad's brain at dinner resurfaces. Writing fiction is a hobby, not a career.

"Coach Pratt is a reasonable guy, though," she counters. "I bet if you explained—"

"You mean explain that I wrote a romance novel, and it sold so well right out of the gate that the thought of going back to school for a career where I'd have to climb the corporate ladder just to gain a bit of recognition sounded like a nightmare?"

Ronnie blinks at me, her wide frames making her eyes appear even larger. "So I didn't mishear that part."

I shake my head. "You didn't. I wrote a romance novel, Ron. Released it back in November. And people—well, my readers—love it. It's doing so well. So…I planned out a series and started writing it."

I wait for a response, but Ronnie only smiles. Like freakishly wide. Before she can laugh at me for doing something so drastic for a seemingly flash-in-the-pan career, I hurry to explain.

"It's a lot of work, though. A lot more work than people might think. There's plotting and researching, and don't even get me started on the time it takes to self-edit, and that doesn't even count cover design and proofreading—"

Before I can finish, Ronnie's arms fly around my neck, and I'm smothered by her cocoa and coffee scent. "You do not need to explain how hard it is to write a book. This is the coolest thing you've ever told me. Like seriously, you're amazing, Chantelle."

My body relaxes into her, and I squeeze her back. "Really? You think so?"

She pulls away, holding me at arm's length. "Are you kidding me? You. Wrote. A. Book. As mad as I want to be that you didn't tell me about this and deprived me of the opportunity of reading it first, I still think it's the most awesome thing ever."

My smile starts but falls once her expression sobers.

"I just wish you would've told me," she adds somberly. "And I wish for your sake that you would've found the courage to tell your dad before you dropped out."

"Yeah. I know." Another weary sigh drains out of me. "I've been planning to tell him. Just want to do it at the right time."

"Is there ever a good time to tell your dad that his dreams for you aren't going to pan out? That you want to forge your own path in life?"

"No," I say. "Guess not."

"I get why you're hesitant, though," she admits. "I'd be scared to tell my dad I walked away from tech to pursue a romance writing career."

I point at her. "See! It sounds crazy."

She holds up her fingers, sandwiching the air. "Just a tad."

"Ugh," I groan, falling back on the bed. "If you, my free-spirited, crazy-colored-haired friend, thinks it sounds out there, imagine how my straitlaced, drill sergeant dad is gonna feel."

Ronnie laughs and leans back with me. "Oh, come on. I bet once he sees those big checks you're bringing in, he'll change his tune." She bumps her shoulder with mine. "Anything else you need to tell me before I beg to read this book of yours?"

"Don't think so," I say with a little laugh. "Unless you count how Jude found out about my new career choice. That was interesting."

Ronnie sits up and slaps my thigh. "What? Jude knows! Jude knows and I didn't?"

I sit up and meet her glare. "Only because he found out! In the worst possible way. It was so embarrassing."

She crosses her arms, clearly unimpressed. "You'd better spill the tea before I do something we'll both regret. Like finish that entire package of cookies in one sitting. It'll inevitably give me heartburn, then you'll be forced to listen to me complain about it all night."

I laugh and go into the whole bookstore debacle, not skipping a single detail, so she gets the full dramatic effect. Her head bobs up and down through the retelling, and by the end, that freakish, maniacal smile is back.

"You fell in love with him right then, didn't you?"

Rolling my eyes, I huff. "You sound just like him. No, I didn't fall for him then. I loathed his entire existence. He's been a thorn in my side ever since he took Joel's place."

Ronnie's eyebrows dance. "Uh huh. It sure sounds like it. Even looked like it when you were sucking his face off at Archer's."

"Stop!" I swat her leg just as my phone dings with a text notification. We meet each other's eyes, a silent question hanging between us.

"Go ahead and respond," she says with a smile playing at the edges of her mouth. "You know you're dying to."