Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

K iera arrived at the Jam Pot half an hour early. She hadn’t planned to, but somehow her nerves had propelled her out of the house far sooner than necessary. She sat at the table, with a cortado made for her by the blonde woman who ran the café. She sat still, clutching her hands together so hard her knuckles went white. Her stomach did not feel good, and she eyed her cortado suspiciously. The coffee was unlikely to help matters. She pondered the physiological impact anxiety and stress had on the body as sweat gathered on her forehead, while her fingers remained ice cold. She drank the coffee too quickly.

“Another?” came a voice from the bar.

“Oh, um, no, I don’t think I should,” said Kiera, realising the caffeine had made her even jumpier.

“I don’t normally see you here of an evening,” the barista told her, smiling.

“No, I don’t often come here later on in the day, but I’m meeting someone.”

“Someone? ”

“I, er, I actually have a date.” Kiera wasn’t sure why she’d shared this fact with a relative stranger.

“Oh, really?” said the woman, dimples in her cheeks as she smiled. “First date?”

“Is it that obvious?” The younger woman’s smile was kind. Kiera suspected she was probably in her late twenties.

“No, you’re grand, but the tapping fingers and furrowed brow do give you away a little. It’s all part of the café-owner manual – reading body language.”

“I guess that makes sense. But yes,” said Kiera, checking the window again, “it is a first date. In fact, it is my first first date in about ten years. I am woefully out of shape.”

“You look pretty good to me,” said the woman with a wink. “Have a bit of faith in yourself.” She smiled again, her green eyes sparkling. “Look, how about we have a code. If you want out at any point, order an affogato, I’ll call your mobile from the back room, and you can pretend it’s a family emergency and you need to leave.”

Kiera smiled. It was a kind gesture. “Yes, please.” She stood up and went over to the counter. “I’m Kiera. Here, if you put your number in my phone, I’ll give you a missed call.”

The woman grinned at her and took the phone in her long fingers. “I’m Seymour.”

“Like in Little Shop of Horrors?” said Kiera.

“I’m afraid so. I was named after a cannibalistic plant in a musical,” she deadpanned, handing Kiera her phone back.

“Wow,” said Kiera, now full of questions.

“Are you Kiera?” came a voice from behind her, before she could ask any more of them. She turned to see the woman who had walked in, complete with the blonde bob from the photo .

“Hi, Hannah?”

“Yes.” Hannah gave a small smile.

“Let me get you a drink,” said Kiera.

“No, ladies,” said Seymour, her cheeks pink, “this one’s on me. Tell me what you want and I’ll bring them over.”

“That’s a service I’m not used to,” said Hannah, who was tugging at the bottom of her plaid shirt nervously.

“I’m a regular here,” said Kiera, “which seems to have some benefits.”

“Not half, have you seen her? She’s a bit of a hottie,” said Hannah, then put her hand to her mouth. “Sorry, not really first date etiquette to point out someone else who’s hot. Not that you’re not hot, obviously, I mean of course you are, but I don’t know you yet, so I wouldn’t say it out loud…”

Her nervous monologue trailed off and she curled a lock of her hair between her fingers. Kiera felt at least as nervous as Hannah was behaving, but at least she was managing to keep a lid on it for now.

“No sorries, please. Just sit down and pop your coat on your chair. Make yourself at home. Did you come far?” asked Kiera, hating herself for asking such a pedestrian question.

“Oh no, not really. I came on the number 50, just a few stops down the road – I live on Chantry Road, by St Columba Church in Moseley. I really should have walked, but I ran out of time because I was choosing, well, because I was running a bit late…” Her high-paced delivery trailed off again. Kiera was beginning to wonder if Hannah was capable of having a thought without expressing it out loud.

“Always a good place for people-watching, the bus,” said Kiera, feeling strangely less nervous now she could see that Hannah was clearly on the very edge of the edge .

“Ooh yes, definitely. Cafés, too. I like guessing who’s on a blind date. I mean, oh, sorry. You know what I mean.” Hannah twisted her scarf in her hands.

“I do,” replied Kiera, trying to waft some calm in the direction of her date.

“Here you are, ladies,” said Seymour, bringing over their drinks. “Just give me a shout if you need anything else.” As Hannah looked away, Seymour gave Kiera a subtle wink. She was grateful for it.

“Have you done much of this app dating stuff?” asked Hannah.

“Um, no, not really. In fact, this is the first time. Ever.” Kiera allowed her eyes to focus on the coffee in front of her.

“First ever date?” Hannah took a sip of her coffee and then immediately winced. “Ouch, too hot!” she exclaimed. “Sorry, such a klutz.”

Kiera stifled a laugh. “No worries. No, I’ve been on dates before, but not for the better part of ten years.” Hannah’s blush started to fade from her naturally pale skin. Her blond bob and appearance was exactly as it was in her photo, allaying the age-old fear that the person you were meeting was using a picture long past its sell-by date.

Hannah peered at Kiera over her coffee cup, into which she was blowing. “Married?”

This was the first time Kiera had had to explain her situation to anyone new. It was the one thing she had been dreading. When she’d dated in her youth, she’d been a clean sheet, or at least clean of any statutory entanglements.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Well, it was the most obvious choice, given your age. Oh God, sorry, that’s so rude of me.” There was something refreshing about the way in which Hannah said what was on her mind, although the constant apologising was a bit grating. Kiera decided it was down to nerves and attempted to be forgiving.

“Hey, it’s fine,” said Kiera, “you’re right, yes. I was married.”

“A woman?”

“Yes. How about you? Have you done much of this?” Kiera suspected not, given how jumpy Hannah seemed.

“Oh, loads. Well, not loads, but a bit. I was married too – to a man though, sorry.”

“Oh, no need to apologise, your history is your own affair and doesn’t require explanation or excuse.” She paused. “And, really, let’s have a moratorium on apologising, you’re not doing anything wrong,” she added, with what she hoped was a warm smile.

Hannah laughed. “Point taken. Sor… no, not saying it. Good. Ok, pressing the reset button,” she mimed pressing a button on her side. Kiera stifled a giggle. Hannah took an experimental sip of her coffee. “Ah, that’s better. Well, I wasn’t married for long. We were in our twenties. I didn’t know myself well enough to realise that what we had was friendship. Since we separated, I’ve only dated women. I was with someone for a while until a few years ago, but now, here I am, single.”

“I guess it comes to us all, one way or the other. Or at least, to a lot of us,” said Kiera. “What I don’t get is the number of people who seem to scowl into the lens of the camera, or add bunny features to their faces on these dating apps.”

Hannah nodded, sagely, seeming to relax a bit more. “Yes, I learnt early on to avoid them. Also, the ones who have their children in their profile pictures. I mean, boundaries! So why did you get divorced?” The words seemed to erupt unbidden from Hannah’s lips .

“Well now, I think that’s a story for another day,” replied Kiera, slightly taken aback. She gripped the handle of her coffee cup. “I will say that we were happy together for a while. But one day, she wasn’t happy anymore. So, she left.”

“Oh my God,” said Hannah, her mouth opening like a capital ‘O’. “That’s just awful. How on earth did you cope? The betrayal, the isolation, the upheaval?” Hannah appeared to be auditioning for a role in Crossroads .

“I muddled through,” Kiera replied, well aware that she was heavily diluting what had really happened. The truth would have blown Hannah’s mind, and she already seemed rather shocked. “So, no children or wives for you then, presumably?”

“No, but I have three dogs. They are my world,” said Hannah, already scrolling through her phone to find pictures of them.