Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

A nother Sunday, and Kiera had the newspapers and a large coffee on the go in the window of a café. Not Seymour’s café, though. She couldn’t face seeing her. She’d only ask about the date, and Kiera couldn’t bring herself to tell her she’d been stood up. The coffee wasn’t as nice here, and the view of the High Street was nowhere near as good for people-watching.

She’d had enough. Hankering after love and affection was wounding and messy. Perhaps she was trying too much too soon? The divorce had gone through, but Chrissie was still there, lurking at the back of her mind. At some point, no doubt she’d pop up again and they’d have to sort out the house.

Was it her? Kiera began to wonder if Chrissie, with all her peculiarities, had been right to leave? Perhaps Kiera just wasn’t cut out for relationships. Or perhaps she was looking in the wrong places. She was over forty, and sick and tired of everyone.

She was halfway through a mediocre cup of coffee when she to ok out her phone and deleted the dating app. She’d had enough. She wished she could be more free and easy, the way Clodagh was. She wanted what Lou had. Kiera was a one-woman woman. And she wanted love. There. She’d admitted it to herself. She wanted love. She wasn’t very good at casual because that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted something real and meaningful. And in wanting that, she knew she was cutting down her options. But perhaps that was better than the never-ending trail of disappointment behind her.

Her burden lightened and she turned the page of the Sunday magazine that had come with the newspaper. The main article was an exposé about a cult that preyed on vulnerable women. It promised them a new life and fulfilment. Kiera could see the appeal of that kind of offer. Sadly, though, it had ended up with the women in thrall to a dodgy man having handed over significant amounts of cash. It made her shudder. Reading the accounts of the women – accountants, teachers, doctors – was the most eye-opening part. They were just like her, with responsible jobs. They were intelligent and independent, with their own lives. Until they weren’t. They’d been offered something that was too good to be true. And therein lay the lesson.

Kiera looked at the photo of one of the women. Her weary expression poured from the page. She thought of Chrissie and all she had lost, and what the future might look like. There and then she made her decision. She would never let anyone close enough to hurt her again. She drained her coffee cup, feeling stronger than she had in months.

She was going to be ok.