Chapter 4

Claudia

The crowd shifted forward again. Claudia cut loose a long sigh as she shuffled a bit closer to the counter. She had hoped to be done by now, to have her new phone setup and be on her way, so she could go visit Briena and the baby in the monster ward. No doubt Gunther would tell her sister if she didn't make it, and Claudia had zero time for or interest in talking to Ruth. The old bag had called her a harlot the last time they talked, because she had worn a sundress to brunch. Wasn't her fault her older sister was a prude.

No, thank you. No need to drag Ruth into anything. Besides, Claudia did want to see the new baby. It simply amazed her at how many creatures—human or otherwise—were addicted to their phones. And sadly, she was right there among them all. She didn't use her Diphone for much besides phone calls, though she did play the odd game now and then. She enjoyed word games, and in a way, the games were a nice way to stay in touch with some people without actually having to talk to them.

The back of her neck tingled as if someone was staring at her. Claudia resisted the urge to turn and look. As far up in line as she was, odds were someone was staring at her. As long as it wasn't one of those witches from the other side of the Bledsoe Dry Railroad tracks, cursing her for being ahead in line she would live.

Zilla had wanted to come with her to get the phone. Claudia snorted softly to herself, imagining the havoc that would cause here in a crowd. The line moved again. One more person and it would be her turn. Unfortunately, the unicorn at this particular station behind the counter was slower than a sloth. In fact, the unicorn—her name tag said Bambi—reminded Claudia of the head zombie at the DMV. Whose name was Ima Sloth.

Minutes later, the space in front of her cleared, and Claudia quickly stepped up to the counter. Bambi the unicorn tried to upsell her to a bigger plan, but Claudia didn't need more memory or data. Just a new, updated phone, with a screen Zilla hadn't damaged with one giant paw. Thrilled to be on her way, new phone in hand, she squeezed her way back through the line to the exit.

The sensation of someone watching her got the best of her. She finally looked up and found herself caught in an intense, dark gaze. Manrick Allman. Good grief. She hadn't seen him since—hell, she wasn't sure what year or which wedding it was, but Manrick had been good friends with Harold. Wondering what the old ghoul had heard about Harold's death, what he thought about her, Claudia wished she were invisible. Damned sorcerers could disappear on a whim. Wasn't fair that immortality and a decent glamour were her strongest powers.

Manrick shifted his gaze slightly. The tilt of his head made Claudia look to his right. Archer Radcliffe. Interesting. The old ghoul had been attached to that vampire's hip—or fangs—as long as she had known him. She had even asked Harold if they were lovers. Harold had damned near choked to death on his champagne that night. He had promised her neither Archer nor Manrick would be into the other if either were attracted to men. According to Harold, Archer was the epitome of a dark, handsome hero who attracted all species of women like carcasses drew flies. And Manrick—well, if Claudia remembered correctly, Manrick had been married to someone named Eleanor for seventy-nine years.

Jolted suddenly by a skeleton in line, Claudia broke the eye contact with Manrick and hurried out the door. She wasn't scared of him, but she certainly wasn't comfortable running into him, either. Harold's death had been hard on her, and the ensuing investigation had all but done her in. Like she was some sort of Black Widow. The detectives had hounded her for months, even though their dogs and their psychics and even their memory-sayers couldn't prove she had anything to do with it.

Or the other several who had died.

Jeez. When had it become a crime to be unlucky in love?

Her phone buzzed in her hand as she moved swiftly down the sidewalk. She glanced at the screen and swallowed an annoyed sigh when she saw Mrs. Funke's name on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Claudia, dear?"

"Yes, Mrs. Funke."

"Oh good! I just wanted to make sure you got the phone taken care of."

"I did. It's all good." She dodged a small group of green-skinned aliens at the end of the line that almost seemed to undulate out on the Whynot sidewalk.

"When will you be home, dear? I've made us dinner. We'll watch Funeral Feud."

"I have some errands to run. I'm sorry."

"Well, Zilla said you didn't."

Claudia took a quick breath to calm herself. Mrs. Funke swore Zilla talked to her on occasion. Being that they lived in Whynot, among all sorts of monsters and fantastic creatures, a talking dog shouldn't be that hard to believe in. And yet, Zilla had been Claudia's pet since she brought him home from animal rescue as an eight-week-old pup. He didn't talk.

"My nephew's wife had a baby, Mrs. Funke," she explained patiently. "I'm going to find a gift for the baby and take it to the monster ward to see her."

"The baby is a girl?" Mrs. Funke asked with some excitement. "Wonderful. She'll play with my granddaughter Patrice as they get older."

"Sounds wonderful," Claudia lied. "I have to go now. See you later."

She shoved her phone in the back pocket of her jeans as she walked. It wasn't fair of her to get upset with Mrs. Funke for wanting company, especially not when Claudia had asked her to look after Zilla for a bit while she was gone. And yet, the thought of another night in the old woman's pea-green living room watching game shows and eating decades old ribbon candy filled her belly with dread.

Claudia Scott groaned when the realization hit her. She did need a man. Someone to fill her time so she wasn't always at Mrs. Funke's disposal. As she turned the last corner and headed down her block toward the hospital, she pulled her phone from her pocket again and tapped the app button. A little bit shocked that she was doing so, Claudia typed dating apps in the search bar and scrolled the three that appeared.

Hanky Panky. Nope. She wasn't interested in a hookup fest.

SSSSex.Same Species Same Sex. Nope. If she did that, Mrs. Funke might suggest they go out as a couple. Claudia wasn't truly interested in men, not anymore. But she had never been interested in dating the same sex.

Love Bites.

Houston, we have a winner.

Even though she didn't speak the words out loud, Claudia could hear the sour note in her voice. She would create her account when she got home after visiting the baby, but before going down to Mrs. Funke's to get Zilla.