28. Montana

Throughout the meal, I was aware of my father’s watchful gaze and Cole”s intense scrutiny. The only person without an ulterior motive who was simply enjoying herself was Anya. Oh, what a joy it was to be a child. Innocent and free of worries and scheming.

I thought of her mother and wondered if it would be appropriate to ask her about it. Probably not. I didn’t want to come across as a prying, snooping busybody.

”Do you have any special requirements for Anya?” I asked. I made sure to look directly in his eye, as I did with the other parents, or else my dad was sure to make a mountain out of a molehill.

”Not really. What sort of things did you have in mind?” he replied evenly, but because he gave his whole attention to me, it was unnerving.

My God, he really was so unfairly beautiful. I took a sip of wine. I might already have drunk too much out of sheer nervousness.

”Anya was excellent today. She participated in all the activities, but considering she is from the city, I wondered if she might have special needs. Perhaps her mother would know…”

Something flashed in his eyes, but his expression and voice remained neutral. ”If at any point something comes up, I’ll be sure to let you know, and of course, I”m always open to your recommendations.”

”Alright,” I nodded and stabbed a piece of carrot with my fork. That attempt to find out about Anya’s mother sure fell flat on its face. Only recently, I’d finally managed to convince myself I could forget about him, but now that he was back in my life, I didn’t know how to resist him.

”Montana, are you alright?” my father asked.

I turned to him, startled by the question. He raised his eyebrows at me and it was only then I realized I was repeatedly stabbing a piece of carrot. I instantly corrected this by putting the mangled vegetable into my mouth and chewing vigorously.

”I”m great,” I replied robotically. ”Just a little tired.”

”That can”t be right,” he said with a smile. ”You”re never tired. Your stamina is unbelievable.”

This statement he directed at Cole, and I wished he hadn’t because I knew Cole would see my father’s innocent compliment in a sexual light. I couldn’t help but glance over at Cole, hoping he wouldn’t disappoint me, but he behaved true to form.

”She does seem like the kind to be able to go all day and all night,” he said.

I nearly choked on the piece of carrot I’d been chewing for the last five minutes.

I fumed at him, but he smiled and winked at me. Quickly, I returned my attention to my father. Thank God, he was picking up his wine glass and didn’t notice.

Blissfully unaware of the undercurrents between Cole and me, my father continued. ”She has loved the outdoors since she was a kid, and I think that”s where her great energy mainly comes from.”

I smiled then and rose to my feet. ”I need to go check on something in the kitchen. I’ll be back soon, please excuse me.”

”Of course,” both men replied.

I gave Anya a much-deserved smile for stressing me out the least, then took my leave. I headed straight to my room because frankly, I needed to lie down. My head was swirling. Probably a mixture of confusion and grade-A lust.

I went out to the back porch, pulled out my phone, and face-timed Pearl. She was sitting on her bed eating ice cream directly from the carton. In the background, I could hear the faint sounds of the video game she was playing.

”My father made me wear a damn dress! And I swear this dinner is some sort of test. There’s a swarm of alligators waiting underneath to devour me if I lose my footing and fall,” I grumbled when she answered.

”Wow, that’s unnecessarily dramatic,” she said.

”It’s how I feel.”

She sucked her spoon. ”Yeah, I got that from your attitude all morning.”

”I wasn’t sulky or anything like that, was I?”

”Not sulky, but you were definitely on edge,” she countered, ”and you have been for the past several days. In fact, ever since Stormy City. And now it’s incredibly obvious why, so...”

She paused, mischievous as usual, and I rolled my eyes at her. ”So what?”

”You need to make a definite decision, or else you’ll keep being tormented… and unstable.”

”You make me sound like a mental case.”

Then she asked in a no-bullshit voice, ”Are you falling in love with him, Montana?”

My immediate reaction was to deny it, but what was the point in lying to myself and further tormenting myself?

”Maybe,” I replied, ”so far, I mean…”

”I understand,” she agreed sagely.

”You do?”

”Of course I do. You really, really, really like him and you want more, but you also know he doesn’t want that. However, you don’t know how to move on so you”re stuck in this maze in your head, trying to figure a way out.”

This, though it made me feel uncomfortable, sounded immensely accurate to me.

”Am I wrong?” she asked.

”Stop gloating,” I admonished.

She laughed. ”I’m so good at this I should become a psychiatrist.”

”He”s in the dining room right now. What should I do?”

”Observe him,” she said. “What if, unbeknownst to you, he wants more as well? Have you asked? I mean, he has a daughter. Every single dad with a daughter I’ve ever known has always wanted someone in their lives to help guide their daughter.”

I went silent.

”What”s really holding you back? The fear of being rejected? But you”re a woman, and you should know how to take the hint. Which means that an outright rejection is not on the cards.”

I found myself nodding at her ‘soft rejection theory’ because this made a lot of sense, but for some reason, sounded implausible.

”Why don”t you hint at what you want? What”s the worst that could happen?”

”I embarrass myself beyond any hope?”

”If you’re too cowardly to take him on, let Kelly have him. She is smart enough to never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

The might of the black jealousy that slammed into my body at the thought of Kelly being with Cole was unbelievable. Until I met Cole, I really thought I was a mild person, and jealousy was not part of my nature, but since meeting Cole, I’ve become the quintessential green-eyed monster.

”Before Kelly goes for Cole she should prepare her grave,” I snarled.

Pearl laughed uproariously and I was about to say more when the door behind me opened. I thought it was Dad, but to my surprise it was Cole. My heart jumped into my throat.

“Call you back,” I croaked to Pearl and cut the connection.