Chapter 26

Jackson

"He's looking better," my mom says, twirling a sprig of dried lavender between her fingertips. "He's got his glow again."

I grunt, watching as Ash kneads a large ball of dough inside the ranch house kitchen. His sling is off, finally, and per his physical therapist's instructions, he's back to regular activity, barring any discomfort. His posture isn't as loose as it was before the accident, but my mom is right. He looks happy again.

It's an immense relief, even though I know he's far from recovered. And even then, he may not ever be without some pain.

I try not to let the thought get me down, knowing Ash doesn't want my pity. Never that.

"Just don't go working him too hard," I tell my mom, turning away from where we were spying in the hall.

She makes an amused sound as she follows me back into the dining room. Lavender is spread along one end of the table like a blanket of purple, and my mom returns her sprig to the pile. "Jackson dear, pretty sure out of the two of us, I'm not the one who's at risk of working him too hard."

"Oh, gross," I mutter, picking up my hat.

"There's nothing gross about sexual intercourse," my moms says. "It's a perfectly natural—"

" Ah, ah, ah ," I say, willing my ears to close up. I hold up a hand, suppressing the shudder that wants to roll throughout my entire body and soul. "What's gross is talking to you about it."

My mom plucks up another lavender sprig, opening her mouth to say something I'm sure would be scarring, when my dad walks into the room.

"Hey now," he says, snatching the lavender from her hand. He starts collecting the rest, handling the dried buds carefully. "Did anyone say you could play with my Lavandula ?"

Hands full, my dad walks out, and my mom glances my way.

"He is the strangest man," she says simply.

"You married him."

She sighs, sounding happy about that. "I did. Twice." As I reach the back door, she calls out, "You're glowing, too, Jackson. It's a damn good sight."

I grumble, waving my hand over my shoulder as my mom laughs at my retreating back. Shaking my head, I put on my hat and head for the horse barn.

My brothers are inside when I arrive, Remi sitting on a crate outside the tack room and Colton leaning against the wall, feet crossed at his ankles. He pushes upright when I walk in and holds out his arms.

"Let the secret meeting of the brothers commence," Colton proclaims loudly.

Ignoring my brother's ridiculousness, I grab another crate and plop down across from them. "Thanks for coming."

Colton drops his arms. "Yeah, yeah," he mumbles, clearly sore about me not playing along. "What's going on?"

I rub my jaw. "Lawson."

Colton nods as Remi hums.

"He's been off," our youngest brother says.

"He has," I agree.

Colton looks between the two of us, brows drawn. "His wife announced she wanted a divorce and had him move out the next day. Of course he's off ."

I shake my head. "It's more than that. He's going through something, and he won't talk to me about it. Has he talked to either of you?"

They exchange a glance, each shaking their head.

"What do you think it is?" Remi asks. "Being apart from Wendy so much? That's gotta be hard."

"Might be that," I agree before shrugging. "But I dunno."

"Well, what do you suggest?" Colton asks, grinning before I even have a chance to answer. "Brotherly intervention?"

"Brotherly intervention," I concur.

Colton pumps his fist. "I'll bring the mallows. And the whiskey. Ooh . Strippers?"

"No strippers," me and Remi say at the same time.

Colton pouts. "Y'all are no fun."

"Will you invite Ash?" Remi asks.

I grunt. "'Course."

He smiles, a knowing thing. ‘You love him,' he signs, watching me closely. Maybe because he knows how hard it might be for me to see those words. Or it would have been. Before . Back when I was still bitter. When I was hurting over Otto and didn't want to put my heart at risk again.

Now?

Now it's not so hard at all.

Remi's smile widens, but he doesn't push. Colton looks between the two of us, having missed Remi's unspoken words.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing," I answer, standing. "Bonfire tonight. I'll make sure Lawson's there."

Colton claps his hands together, he and Remi discussing marshmallow options as I head out of the barn. A smile lifts my lips when I think about the man inside the ranch house making bread. The one with the perpetual hum and a fierce sort of resilience I can't help but admire.

I think, quite possibly, he might be the strongest person I know.

"Okay, so tell me again why none of you have simply asked your brother what's wrong?" Ash says, pulling on his boots. It's dark out, the fire already going out back. When I don't respond, Ash pauses, looking up at me. "Jack?"

His hair is falling over his cheek, eyes wide and stormy blue. All I can do is shake my head, not knowing how to articulate the random rushes of affection I've been feeling for him. For months, really, but especially these past few weeks.

"Not the way we do it," I mutter, distracted as Ash tucks that hair away. It falls again, and there goes my chest, feeling as if it's being wrung in a vise.

Ash huffs a laugh. "No, you Darling brothers just throw bonfires and use whiskey as an excuse to air your feelings. Which, look, I'm not opposed to your methods. But do you have stock in the town's distillery or something? 'Cause I swear you guys go through more—"

"Move in with me."

His eyes whip my way.

"Move in," I repeat, my heart thudding. "You've been staying here every night anyhow. Just…move your stuff here. Stay. With me."

He drops his head forward, muttering a, " Fuck ."

My gut sinks. "You don't wanna—"

"Yes, I'll move in with you, Jackson Darling," he says, pushing to his feet. My heart races as he steps forward, coming to a stop right in front of me. "I'm going to owe Virginia lunch thanks to you. You mean it? You want me here?"

My breath leaves me in a rush. "More than anything."

Ash's eyes run over my face. "Christ, Jack. You're too good to be real."

"Not all that good," I assure him, knowing the thoughts I'm having about Ash are far from virtuous.

He smirks, as if he knows as much, but a series of loud knocks on the back door interrupts us.

"You guys coming?" Colton calls, voice muffled through the wood. "If you're fucking, hurry up and finish."

" Jesus goddamn Christ ," I grumble loudly. "I'm gonna disown 'em. All of 'em."

Ash only laughs. "Coming," he calls. And then, to me, he says, "Jack? For the record, you're wrong. You're so very good. And I'll let you prove it to me later."

Before I can come up with anything to say to that, Ash smacks a kiss against my lips and heads for the back door.

Fucking hell .

Taking a breath, I follow him.

My brothers are settled around the bonfire when Ash and I get outside. Colton has a bag of jumbo-sized marshmallows on his lap, and he's loading four of them onto a stick. Remi is leaned back in his Adirondack chair, legs crossed in front of him. Lawson is gazing out into the night, pensive, as he's been ever since Laura asked for a divorce. It's cool tonight, but between the fire and our coats, no one seems to mind.

Ash doesn't bother with his own chair. He waits until I'm settled in mine and then claims the spot between my legs. With one foot kicked up on the slanted wooden stool in front of us, he leans his back to my chest, utterly relaxed like there's nowhere else he'd rather be. I wrap an arm around his stomach.

" So ," Colton says, missing casual by a mile. "What's been going on with everyone? Law?"

"Hm?" our older brother says.

"How's, uh, your classes at the school?" Colton says, wincing slightly.

Lord .

Remi shakes his head.

"Fine," Lawson answers before taking a sip from his whiskey tin.

Colton looks around for help.

"Wendy doing okay?" I ask.

"Mhm," Lawson hums. And that's it.

Colton stuffs a giant marshmallow in his mouth.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Remi says, sitting forward. "Law, are you doing okay? We're worried about you."

"Me?" Lawson says, sounding genuinely perplexed. "Why?"

"Because you seem…" Remi trails off, looking to me.

"Not yourself," I finish.

Ash gives my leg a squeeze.

Lawson is quiet for a moment, looking at the fire. "I am myself. Just…a little sadder than usual, I guess."

Remi and I exchange another look.

"Anything we can do to help?" I ask.

"Don't think so," our oldest brother says. "I think it's okay to be sad sometimes, you know? I don't want to rush through it just so I can avoid feeling this way."

No one quite knows what to say to that, least of all myself. I've never been particularly good about broadcasting my feelings, but Lawson has never had that issue. He's always been open about his emotions in a way I used to think naive.

Now, I think my brother might be a lot braver than I ever gave him credit for.

"If there's anything we can do," I tell him, "just give the word."

Lawson nods, but we all go still when the sound of a motorcycle cuts through the night.

Colton sets his roasting stick down slowly. "Is that…"

The engine roars louder until the sound ceases entirely. There's the thump of boots on gravel, and then a man comes striding around my house. The dark obscures his features, but I still recognize him instantly. As does Colton, who jumps to his feet.

"Colton," the man barks.

"The fuck are you doing here?" Colton snarls back.

Noah King doesn't stop moving until he's within the circle of our bonfire. His scowling face is lit by the flames, his head shaved short along the sides, the dark hair on top a mess. "You fucking kidding me?" he growls. "You told Marie Doherty my work was shoddy. She dropped me as a client. Thirty fucking horses on that farm, Colt."

I cringe, even as Colton puffs up his chest. "You can't prove anything."

Noah takes a step closer, shaking his head. "I've never, not once , told someone you did shoddy work," he says, prodding Colton in the chest once, twice. "That was low."

My brother bats Noah's hand away. "Sure have hinted at it plenty, though, haven't you? Every other week, it's in the paper. King this and King that. Best goddamn farrier in these parts!"

"It's called advertising," Noah shoots back. "What you did is downright dirty."

"Maybe Marie just knew if she wanted quality work, she should go with someone trusted," Colton says, crossing his arms.

Noah works his jaw. "Right. 'Cause Colton goddamn Darling can do no wrong."

"You said it, not me," Colton responds.

Noah shakes his head again. "You're a real piece of work, you know that? Stop fucking with my business."

"Stop fucking with mine!" Colton shouts after him. Noah is already halfway across the yard.

"Whoa," Ash whispers, turning his head my way. " That's Noah King? Dude's hot."

"Hey," I grunt, tightening my arm around him.

He laughs. "What? He is."

"He's an asshole," Colton puts in, dropping back into his seat.

"How'd he know where you live?" Remi mumbles.

"He thinks he's so high and mighty," Colton goes on. "Well, one of these days, he's gonna fall off his damn perch. Just you wait and see."

"Colt," I say softly. "Did you really tell Mrs. Doherty he does bad work?"

He winces. "Not on purpose. And not in those words, not exactly. I just…" He groans, falling back in his chair. "I was flapping my mouth. It was an accident."

"You need to make it right," Remi says. "Apologize to him. Talk to Mrs. Doherty."

"I can't do that," Colton moans. "I'd never live it down."

"Well, maybe you deserve to deal with the consequences of your actions," Lawson says in that calm teacher voice of his. "Your happiness shouldn't come at somebody's else's expense, Colt."

"I'm not happy about it," Colton defends.

Lawson doesn't argue with him. He just stands, setting down his tin. "I'm turning in."

"You sure you're all right?" I check.

He sighs, a tired sound. "I'm fine, Jackson. I'd just like to be alone for a little while."

I watch him walk off, my chest tight and aching.

"He'll be okay," Ash says, shifting around to face me. "I get it, you know? His life threw him a major curveball, and he needs time to process. To wallow a bit. Sometimes the best thing we can do is let ourselves feel. It's healthy that he's not shoving it all down."

"What if it doesn't get better?" I ask, voicing my worry aloud.

"It will. And if it doesn't, you guys will be there to help him."

"I wish Oakley were still here," Remi says. "He always had a way with Lawson."

"Who's Oakley?" Ash asks.

"His best friend," Colton answers, popping another few marshmallows on his stick. "Two of them were thick as thieves. Until Oak moved away."

Ash hums.

"Colton," I say, getting my brother's attention again. "Remi's right. You needa fix it."

He groans. " Fuck . I hate doing the right thing."

"No you don't," I reply, knowing my brother well enough to be certain of it.

Colton just shakes his head. "Noah fucking King. No one has ever poked at my frog like him."

Ash coughs. "I'm sorry, what?"

Remi tries to hide his amusement, but it comes through in his voice when he says, "It's part of a horse's hoof. On the underside."

"He's a thorn ," Colton says. "Right under my skin."

Ash gives me a look , his eyebrows raised. I shrug because I truly don't know what the deal is between Noah and my brother. Colton is easygoing with just about anybody.

Anybody but Noah fucking King.

Ash purses his lips and turns back around, settling against me. "Maybe you two just need to bang it out."

Remi chokes on a laugh as Colton's head lifts, slowly. The mallows he was roasting tip down into the fire.

"Bang my archnemesis?" Colton says, face scrunched up in disgust. "I'd rather go brim over boot than touch a hair on Noah King's gold-plated ball sac."

"Oh my God ," Remi says, dropping his face into his hands.

Ash is outright laughing now. "Brim over boot?"

"He means falling off a horse," I mumble, lips twitching.

"Not what it sounds like," Ash mutters back.

I can't disagree.

Colton shivers, a full-bodied thing, before he scrubs his burnt marshmallows off the end of his stick. He loads a couple new ones. " Ugh . Bang Noah King. Can you imagine? It's not even that the dude has a dick, I just hate the guy."

Remi gives me a smile, looking so amused I can't help but smile back.

Maybe this family of mine gets on my nerves from time to time, but I suppose they're not so bad. I might even call them pretty great.

Pulling Ash back against my chest, I settle in as Colton and Remi argue the logistics of gold-plated body parts. The fire crackles in front of us, smoke floating up into the air. Stars dot the sky, and the smell of dried leaves mixes in with the burnt wood from the bonfire.

I can't remember the last time I felt this calm. This settled. I'm still worried about Lawson, that's true. But we'll have his back should he need it. Ash was right about that.

The man himself shifts, turning his head to look up at me, fingertips brushing my jaw. "You good, Jack?" he asks, voice quiet.

"Yeah," I say, meaning it with every fiber of my being. "Never been better."