Four

There's something about this town that I can't place my finger on. Holden has a way of sucking you in. I wasn't meant to be here; I should be in the city, living my life to the fullest. Instead, I'm here doing dick shit, chasing zero dreams. I'm dreamless.

Fuck I hate this town. Every person is annoying, sticking their nose in your business. And the one that is the worst is that cunt, Elma. I certainly don't help matters by constantly popping up wherever she happens to be. I love seeing the old hag lose her shit when I show up. It's how I keep myself entertained.

What else am I supposed to do here ?

Most days, I catch myself loitering at the bookstore more than I care to admit. And that's saying a lot coming from someone who's not exactly bookworm material. But then there's Teagan. There's something about her that gets me hooked. From the moment she noticed me, she didn't do the typical small-town move of running in the opposite direction. No, she actually welcomed me with a smile so sweet it could melt ice. And those dimples of hers? Let's just say they had me weak in the knees. She's the real deal. Genuine in a world full of fakes.

But deep down, I know she'll never go for a guy with a shady past like me. It's just not in the cards. It's never going to happen. If any of the guys show up, I'm screwed, it's another reason why I had to move, the past can't follow me. If it does, I won't think twice about packing and leaving. I'll be nothing in this town. That's why I need to stay a mystery. The less people who know about me and my past, the better it'll be for me.

My burner phone rings for the umpteenth time, and I have no desire to answer it. What I should do is throw it away. But every time I try, something holds me back. I can't let the past go. The survivalist in me needs a fallback, and if shit ever hit the fan, I know the old life would be there with its arms wide open, waiting for me. I'm determined to banish it from my thoughts and live free from its grip. Yet, no matter how hard I try to shove it out, it always manages to sneak back in through the tiniest openings. It's like a relentless game of hide and seek with my sanity.

I can't handle being cooped up in the house any longer; I've reached my limit. Cabin fever is creeping in fast, and it's only been a few days. I'm about to lose my marbles. Then again, if I leave the house, it's not like I'll find anything exciting to do. As much as I love pissing Elma off, I can't always keep doing it. I'm surprised she hasn't sent the cops after my ass yet.

I watch from the living room window the wind whip the loose leaves around the street and contempt about leaving. But if I don't leave, I'm about to lose my marbles, and I'll be talking to the fuckin' walls soon. I grab my hoodie from the back of the sofa and dread my decision. I can't be a hermit for the rest of my life, even if that's what I want most.

There's something about Main Street Holden that sets it apart. It's like living in a real-life Hallmark movie. Every shop is decked out with cheesy autumn décor, like every shop owner got a memo saying, "Fall has arrived, so throw up some decorations!" I wouldn't want to own a business here. My decorations would be lacklustre if I even bothered trying. It seems like a lot of work. God, I am not looking forward to seeing what happens at Christmas. For all I know, it's gonna look like Santa bent over and took a shit, and Santa Ville fell out.

Before anything registers, I find myself outside of The Dancing Goat Bookshop. A particular blonde owner always manages to draw me back in. I must be crazy to keep returning; maybe I should've just picked up my phone.

I can't always be running to Teagan when I'm bored. I need to find a hobby or something, and reading isn't one of them. No matter how hard I try, I can't resist Teagan's irresistible charm. I'm like a dog in heat, unable to stay away.

Stepping inside the bookshop, I take a deep inhale. Something about the way books smell calms me. Even though I'm not an avid reader, it's calming in this shop. Or maybe it's the owner that calms the inner demons.

I watch a few customers mill around the shop, picking up books, kids running around wanting something, and their parents telling them no. A few catch me watching and pull their kids closer to their side like I'm a predator. I've never had a parent pull their kid into their side before; this town is unbelievable.

I move down another aisle, trying to avoid any other mishap, when I bump into an asshole taking up the entire space.

"Watch it, you no good for nothing asshole," a stocky, muscular bald guy says to me.

"Excuse me? I'm minding my business. Maybe you should try it." I stand to my full 5'9" height, shoving one hand into my pocket, showing him I'm not giving a fuck.

He looks around like he wants a crowd to watch him, but no one can be bothered. "I was trying it until you ran into me." He raises his voice, now drawing the attention of a few people from the next aisle.

"If your wanna-be muscles weren't in the way, this wouldn't be a problem. Find a gym, bro."

He clenches a fist, all while I still haven't moved a muscle. If he thinks that will intimidate me, he has another thing coming. I've been hit with worse than a fist.

"You're lucky we're in a store and not on the streets, or I would've kicked your ass."

I smile and nod. "Okay, bud. Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day. But if you wanna take this outside, I'm game."

"Problem, gentlemen?" Teagan interrupts our manly fight.

"No, ma'am. I was just leaving." He leaves giving me a dirty look.

I salute the prick as he walks away.

"Seriously, Silas. Did you need to stroke your ego?

I turn to her, smiling. "What ego, Dimples. I was a perfect gentleman."

She laughs, making those dimples pop. "Right, and I'm Mary Poppins. Did you need anything? It's busy today, and I can't be here babysitting your ass."

I take off my baseball cap, run my fingers through my hair, then put my cap back on. "It would be hot if you were Mary Poppins." She rolls her eyes laughing. "Did you want my help? I'm not good with book stuff, but I can try."

"You want a job?"

I shrug. "I mean. I got nothing else to do besides sit at home stroking my ego."

"Yes, the ego. You should give it a break. The little thing must be tired."

"Nothing little about it." I smirk, adjusting my jeans. She quickly looks down before rolling her eyes .

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Silas. Come, I'll show you how to work the till or if you want to avoid people, I can show you the stock room. Choose."

"stock room. Fuck people."

I follow her to the back, where a mountain of boxes awaits me. That is not what I expected to be doing when I walked in here today. But the lack of oxygen to the brain makes you do stupid things, and let's be honest this is better than sitting at home, listening to a phone ring nonstop.

"Unpack and stock. That's it. It's easier than it seems. If you need help, I'll be out front. You've saved me so much time, I owe you."

"No, Dimples. I owe you."

I've been working for years, but never legit that it seems foreign. The thought of not being busted or being shot at is refreshing. Then again, it's not nearly exciting. I thought leaving was what I wanted, but maybe it wasn't. I'm so confused about what I want. Now I'm sounding like a bitch boy.

Teagan should've informed me that I would still be interacting with people. Stocking books is great, but when someone asks where to find a book, that's above my pay grade. I don't even know where half of these fuckers go. It's a guessing game at this point. Hopefully, my new boss doesn't mind my fuck ups .

When I glance at the till, I see Teagan laughing and chatting with a customer. Her carefree attitude spreads to those around her. It's hard not to be when all she does is smile. She catches a glimpse of me, grins, lifts her arm, taps her wrist and holds up five fingers. I pull my phone out and check the time, only now realizing how late it is. It's quittin' time.

"Are you finished?"

I look up, and she's standing over the bookshelf, watching me. "Um, yeah. Are you?"

"I only need to cash out, and I'm done. You've saved me a lot of time today. I'm not sure how to thank you."

"Can I take you out for supper in celebration of me not fucking up too much?" I spit out before my brain can think to stop it.

"You want to take me for supper?" Her brows raise. You swear I asked her to marry me.

"It's only supper. You have dined with the other team before, right?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yes, dummy. I wasn't expecting you, of all people, to ask me out, that's all."

I'll be the one to shoulder the responsibility. While I may not be the master of small talk, and my people skills may need a little boost, but my charm makes up for it. Or at least, I hope it does. My style is usually wham bam, thank you, ma'am. Taking a woman out for supper is out of the norm for me; I swear this town is changing me.

"Pick a place. You know Holden better than I do."

She licks her lips and starts listing off places. "You have the café, The Lucky Dragon, or the hotspot everyone goes to."

I raise a brow. Clearly, I have never ventured much into this town.

"The Holden restaurant. And yes, that's what it's called," she says with a slight laugh.

A laugh broke free. "Get the fuck out of here. Who named it that?"

She shrugs. "No idea, it's always been named that, no matter who owned it, they never changed it. This town is strange, Silas."

I watch as she finishes around the shop, and I try not to let self-doubt seep in. Building a new life is the whole point of the move, but if she did find out about my past life, then what? It would be hard for me to move on; Teagan is slowly sinking into the depths of my soul. I should've stayed away. I'm only asking for trouble.

"Ready? It's only down the street, so we can walk." She swings her purse on her shoulder and gestures to the door.

"That's the only way I get around. I don't own a car." I gently put my hand on her back to lead her toward the front door.

"Really? What if you wanted to hit the open road for a spontaneous trip?"

"I sold it when I moved here, didn't have much need for it. I don't leave the house much." I kept some of the truth from her.

"I hear ya there. You don't need a car in Holden; it's tiny. I hardly touch mine, although it does come in handy in the winter. It gets colder than a snowman's balls here."

"Snowman balls, eh."

"What's colder than that?"

"Antarctica, to start."

She scoffs. "Use that imagination, Sunshine."

I glance down at her; I don't think I've ever had a nickname before, let alone a nice one. Let's be honest; asshole and prick don't count unless the circumstances call for it.

We keep strolling, and I pretend I don't notice everyone staring at me as we pass. I keep telling myself it's small-town life, and I'm the fresh meat. My heart lurches when her fingers curl around mine, giving them a slight tug.

"Don't pay them any attention. You're doing great. Elma will be your worst nightmare, but you already know that. She only wants to crack you open like an egg and examine you, you're a mystery, and it's pissing her off."

I squeeze her hand in return. "Thanks, Teagan. I feel like I should be on display in a museum. Maybe I'll just slap a mask on and give them something to gossip about."

She laughs, nudging my shoulder. "And do what, stalk all the old ladies?"

I wouldn't say old.