Twenty-Six

I' m at a loss for words.

A double identity wasn't what I expected to hear from Silas. I never kept secrets from him. He, on the other hand, kept a ton from me. I just wanted him to be honest with me, but he couldn't do that until he felt guilty. It makes me wonder if he did it because he felt bad for me or him. That guilty conscience finally caught up to him.

I'm left picking my broken heart up off the floor, wondering if I'll be able to forgive him, maybe, eventually, but it will take me some time. I don't think I'll be able to fully trust him again. I'll always believe in the depths of my soul that whatever he says is a lie. The thing about trust is once it's broken, it'll take time to heal, and even once it's healed, you'll never fully trust in that thing again. Because in the forefront, you'll wonder if it'll betray you again like it did in the past.

I head back into the kitchen, and the ribs that Silas was excited to have are still sitting on the counter. I open the container and toss it in the garbage. I won't be able to eat them without picturing his stupid grin now. I place my food back in the fridge; my appetite is officially gone.

The silence of the house is tormenting me. I'm not feeling like being by myself, but I also don't want any company right now. It's a vicious circle, one that I probably won't break. I never told Jace about Silas; the only one who knew was Ivory. She told me he might be afraid to be judged for his past, but this isn't about his past. This is a whole new ball game. He lied to me about a secret identity.

I walk around the house, checking every lock. I suddenly felt that familiar sense of paranoia creeping back in. I can't tell if it's because of Silas or the events of earlier today. I can only hope nothing else happens for the rest of the day.

I grab a thing of ice cream and a spoon and head to the bathroom. I could use some relaxation right now, and a nice hot bath sounds like the perfect way to unwind without resorting to alcohol. Setting my ice cream on the counter, I turn the water on until it's the right temperature and add the plug. I watch the water start to fill, wondering if I missed the signs when I was with Silas dressed up in the mask. He spoke to me, but I never picked up that it was him.

As I slip out of my clothes, I reach for my ice cream and spoon before settling into the tub. The hot water welcomes me as I sink in, allowing all my worries to melt away or at least try to melt away. The more I lay here, the more my mind wonders about every interaction. Nothing gave away that stalker boy, and Silas were the same person. Silas had a hint of woodsy scent, and the stalker boy wasn't into cologne.

Nothing adds up. He hid it so well.

I wake up in a drenched sweat; having a nightmare is not how I want to wake up for the day. It's bad enough that I was in my shop yesterday during the ordeal, but now it's haunting me. Even though I despise it, I need to inspect the shop and assess the extent of the damage. But the thought of going alone spikes my blood. I can't always rely on my parents, and I can't bear seeing their faces when they see the damage—not knowing how excited they were when I opened it.

It's either Jace or Ivory. I know Jace is my best friend, but he has a life and a job, and I can't keep relying on him. Ivory is too good-hearted to be placed in that situation, which would crush her to see everything. The only thing left is to bite the bullet and go alone; it's my sole responsibility, and I should do it alone. I can't always rely on other people.

When I step outside, I first notice an old, rusted minivan parked outside my place. As I get closer, I see Silas fast asleep in the driver's seat. Of course, he wouldn't leave me alone. I didn't ask for much, just space and he couldn't even listen to that. As much as I want to bang on the window and scare him, I walk away. Who's to say he wouldn't follow me if he were awake?

The walk to the shop feels different from any other time, and nothing brings me joy. I had a ton of ideas lined up for this month at the shop, but now they'll never happen. Nancy stole my dreams yesterday; now I'm unsure what to do. As the shop draws nearer, my anxiety starts to creep up, and I find myself imagining the worst-case scenario so I won't be caught off guard.

I feel my hands trembling as I near the corner, my heart picking up the pace. The thought of any surprises makes me anxious. With a deep breath, I push myself to take that final step and make the turn. My eyes tear up when I see Dad and John standing outside my shop. Every window, including the door, is covered in plywood.

John nods to me when he sees me approaching. When Dad turns to me, it's clear how upset he is.

"Small fry. What are you doing here?" He pulls me in for a hug. "I'm sorry about the shop," he whispers next to my ear.

"Thanks, Dad. I came to check on the place, but I see you two beat me here."

"Jace called and asked if I could help, and in return, I called John. Have you seen inside yet?"

I face the front of the shop, and my heart sinks. It looks like an abandoned shop that no one wants. It doesn't exactly shout, 'I'm a bookshop!' Maybe it should team up with the record store next door and form a support group for run down shops.

"We can head inside if you want. We can't touch anything since it's an ongoing investigation." John holds the door open, Dad heads in first, and I hang back. "It's okay to be nervous, Teagan. But the fears must be met, or they'll never disappear. Do not fear what has passed; as old leaves fall, they create space for new growth. This tree is yours, Teagan. Time to make it flourish once more."

I absorb his words. He's right. We rebuilt it once we could do it again. But what if the same thing happens again?

"I'm scared, John."

"Of what? Going inside?"

My gaze shifts beyond the door, where fragments of bookshelves lie strewn across the floor. "What if this happens again, this last month has been shit, John. I can't handle any more heartbreak."

He grips my shoulder. "I understand that, and I promise it'll get easier."

I want to believe him, but it's hard. I don't have any faith that everyone will be caught, Nancy won't be punished for this, and I'll be blamed still. I take a deep breath and step inside. Now, I wish Jace had given me a little heads-up. The entire place is destroyed. Nothing is left untouched; even the computer is smashed on the floor. The floor is strewn with torn pages from books, while the bookshelves appear to have been brutally attacked with axes.

Dad comes by my side and wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Any word from the cops? "

I scoff. "Taylor came by yesterday, and from his questions, he made it sound like I was the problem. I don't have much faith in him."

"Neither do I. You should call your lawyer and tell him what happened. I don't want any of this coming back on you. This is bullshit; maybe I should talk to Nancy and finally hash it out with her."

I rest my head on his shoulder. "I've always wondered why she had her radar set on me, not that I blame you, Dad, but I swear if you started something and this is the outcome, I'm going to be pissed."

"Yeah, you're gonna be pissed."

I had a feeling it had something to do with Dad. Shit rolls downhill and now I have to deal with it all. If I knew talking to Nancy wouldn't work against me, I would be demanding answers. With my luck, Taylor follows her around like a dog in heat. Maybe I should call Sam and see what he says. Nancy attacked, which goes beyond a threatening note.

"I think I've seen enough. Thanks again for being here."

"Anything for you, Small fry. Want me to drive you home?" He guides me to the door, but John is blocking it. "What's wrong?" Dad shuffles me behind him .

He speaks over his shoulder. "There's an SUV parked out front, and the driver is just watching the shop. They haven't moved in minutes. I'm not sure who they are."

"I'm gonna say someone that's with Nancy, this is bullshit. What would happen if you came down, and we weren't here?"

I don't want to think about that. If I think about it, my mind will wonder where it shouldn't be, and I'll never want to leave my house until all of this is wrapped up. I know whoever is outside is with Nancy; she sent them to scare me. Obviously, she didn't get what she wanted out of yesterday, and I'm the unfinished business.

"Want me to scare them?" John asks.

Dad moves next to John, making his presence known. If having two tall, muscular guys standing there doesn't intimidate you, I'm not sure what will. The sound of the engine revving in reverse and the tires squealing as they drive off is music to my ears.

"I'll drive you home," Dad says, tension laced in his voice.

There's so much I want to say, but I can't think of the words. Because what can you say to one of the people that can be responsible for all the shit that is going wrong, I don't think Dad ever intended for any of this to happen. I don't think he knew it could turn out like this. Whatever issue Nancy and Dad have, they need to figure it out because it's officially getting dangerous. Getting Nancy to listen can be a bit of a challenge; she's on a war path, and I seem to be in her crosshairs.

Rounding the street to my house, I feel my heart leap up my throat when I see a minivan parked out front of my home. I forgot all about Silas parked out front. Doesn't he have to eat or take a piss? He can't seriously stay here all the time.

Dad pulls into my small driveway and glares at Silas. "Who's the soccer mom?"

I laugh. He's not wrong. I mean, name one other male who drives around in a minivan. "That would be Silas."

"Why is he parked out front, and why didn't he go with you this morning?"

"That's a long story, one I don't feel like getting into at this second."

He turns to me. "If he somehow hurt you, you let me know, and I'll tune the fucker in."

"Of that, I am certain. Silas? Please, he's a piece of cake for me to deal with."

Dad laughs, hitting the steering wheel. "I taught you well."

I give him a quick hug and hop out of the truck, and I don't even look toward Silas as I make my way to the front door. He doesn't deserve my time. I have to keep moving forward; there's no space for him in my life anymore. I've got to tackle one mess at a time, and Silas is right at the bottom of that list.