29. Kylie

Chapter twenty-nine

Kylie

S omething's going on with Luca. Ever since he was called away two weeks ago, we've barely spent any time together. Hell, we don't spend any time together. He's relegated me to his bed at night and that's it. I don't know why I'm surprised. This is exactly what I expected when I signed on to be a sugar baby. It's just … that first week didn't feel like a contract. Our connection was immediate, and he hasn't once made me feel like he just wants me for sex. Even though we only spend nights in his bed and nothing more, he's sweet to me and he behaves as if he can't get enough of me when we're together.

I'm so confused.

At first, I assumed he was busy with the new hotel, and perhaps that's the case. I can see where revamping a hotel can be time consuming. Not to mention all the other properties he has to maintain. Really, if I think about it, this is probably why he says he doesn't want a relationship. How can you manage one when you're so busy all the time?

Why does my gut tell me it's more than that? Am I just fooling myself?

Sighing, I lean my chin on my hand. This is where my heart and mind battle with each other, and I need to face the truth.

And the truth fucking hurts .

I have to consider the possibility that he really only sees me as a sugar baby and nothing more. Maybe I really am just a body to satisfy him.

I'm so stupid. Why am I such a girl? We have one incredible first week together and I convince myself he's falling for me. Why do women do this to themselves? This is exactly why he said he hires a sugar baby. I hate that I needed the reminder. It's disappointing, but I have only myself to blame when I knew what this was from the start.

"Why do you look like you want to murder those flowers?" Talia and I both slept in this morning. She was out with her sugar daddy all night while I spent my free night studying.

"Because they're beautiful and it was sweet of Luca to send them to me."

Case in point, why I'm confused.

I received them yesterday afternoon. He apologized for being pulled away again and promised to make it up to me. Another reason my emotions are all over the place.

Talia frowns at me over her shoulder. "You need to make that make sense."

I twist in my chair and face her, needing to see her reaction to this conversation. "Have you …" I bite my lip, contemplating the best way to approach this.

Talia presses the start button on the coffeemaker before turning around to lean against the counter, folding her arms on her chest and giving me her full attention.

Ugh. Okay, here goes.

Taking a deep breath, I blurt it out. "Have you ever fallen in love with any of your sugar daddies?"

Talia's eyes go big as she drops her arms and straightens. "Please tell me you're joking." She puts her hand up. "Wait." She turns, pours coffee into her mug and then comes and sits at the kitchen table with me. She adjusts herself to face me while putting one foot under her other leg and leans sideways on the tabletop, cradling her mug.

We stare at each other. I can tell she's trying to figure out how to approach this, and all I want to do is cry.

Talia sighs .

I turn my gaze to my plate to pick at the food I can't bring myself to eat.

"Do you want to know why I never invited you to do this before?"

I snap my gaze back to hers. "I … never really thought about it."

"Because you're not built for this. You're too soft." She says gently.

When I frown, she smiles.

"It's not a bad thing. You're a good person, Kylie. My life has been … difficult as an orphan. It toughened me at an early age. But you? You have wonderful parents who soften your falls. They've taught you to be kind and to treat others with respect." She points at her chest. "I was taught to look out for myself because no one else would."

I swallow, pained at what she revealed.

Talia smiles, then points at my face. "See. You want to hug me right now, don't you?"

A laugh bursts out of me and her lips tip up in response. "I can't help it. I hate you didn't have what I did growing up," I admit.

"That proves my point. I envy you that, but a part of me doesn't." She shrugs one shoulder.

I frown. "Okay, you make that make sense."

She sighs. "Don't get me wrong, out of the both of us, you won—"

"Talia—"

"Let me finish. I'll tell you what I mean by that." She arches her brow.

Blowing out a breath, I nod.

"What I mean is, would I prefer having what you had growing up? Yes, one hundred percent. But I can also see the advantages my life has provided me." She pauses and glances at the flowers as she takes a deep breath before bringing her gaze back to mine. "I'm tough and nothing scares me because I've learned I can take any hit and keep on going. Being an orphan created this need in me to succeed and it's given me the courage to take risks. But the most important lesson I've learned, Kylie, is to never rely on anyone but myself. I don't trust anyone because I've learned not to. And you know what? That knowledge has saved me so many times." She looks off to the side and clears her throat before turning back to me. " If I can pass any advice on to you, it would be to guard your heart. Love is rare and, in my experience, when a man is doing something sweet, he's doing it to get something back. And Kylie, that's what men do. They shower us with pretty things and give us sweet words because they know what they'll get in return. Don't let a sweet gesture," she pauses to tap a flower petal. "fool you into thinking someone cares. You need to guard your heart because no one else will."

An overwhelming sadness hits me from Talia's speech, and I try hard not to let it show. The glimpse she gave me into her past makes my heart ache for the little girl she once was. Everyone deserves to be raised with love and to hear she didn't have that makes me want to cry. As much as I want to tell her how sorry I am for what she's been through, I refrain because I know it's the last thing she wants from me.

Talia stands, taking her coffee with her, but pauses next to me. "Keep your soft heart, but also guard it. That's all I'm really trying to say here." She pats my shoulder and moves to walk away, but I grab her hand, stopping her.

"I realize this is silly to say when you just told me you don't trust anyone, but you can trust me, Talia. If you ever need anything, I'm here and I care. I heard what you said, and I'll work at guarding myself more, but I also think you need to work on allowing others in. You say you aren't scared of anything … well, it seems to me you're scared of people getting too close. I get that it's justified, but there are great rewards when you take the risk." I give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

She gives me a penetrating gaze before she nods, then turns to leave, taking her coffee back to her room. I turn back to the flowers to caress a petal, feeling more down after hearing Talia speak of her past.

She's right, though. I need to keep my guard up.

My phone pings with a notification and I snatch my phone to see it's from my mom.

I miss my daughter. Is she available for her mother today?

OH. THE GUILT! It so happens that I am free today. What do you have in mind?

I am feeling guilty. I've put off seeing my parents, keeping communication to texting. Mom's thrilled I'm seeing someone and only asks how things are going. Every. Single. Day.

Your dad's work buddies are treating him to golf today. I'd love to spend this free time with my daughter. Can I pick you up in an hour for lunch?

That sounds great! See you in an hour. Love you!

Love you too, baby!

I guess it's good I wasn't hungry. Tossing my food in the trash, I head to my room, stopping to knock on Talia's door first.

"Yeah?"

When she doesn't invite me in, I speak through the door. "Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads up. My mom's stopping by in an hour to take me to lunch."

"Okay. I've got a lot of studying to do, so I'll see you later."

"Sounds good." I pause, debating on inviting her to lunch with my mom, but the timing isn't right, so I move away from her door and proceed to my room to get ready.

***

"Here you go, ladies." After Mom and I settle into our chairs, the hostess hands each of us a menu. "Your server will be with you shortly. Enjoy your meal."

We both thank her before opening our menus. "This place is new, you said?"

"Yes. Your father and I tried it last week, and while the food is good, it's the espresso that has me coming back." She points to the coffee selections on my menu.

"Sold." Mom and I love to try new coffee and if she likes it, I will too.

"So, honey. You've been busy. Dare I ask if it's the new boyfriend?" She pretends to look nonchalantly over her menu .

I roll my eyes. "Smooth, Mother."

She giggles while placing her menu down and crossing her arms on the table. "Come on," she cajoles. "I've been very patient. It's been months since you mentioned him and then nothing except, 'things are good'." She finger quotes. "Why don't you want to talk to me about him?"

"It's been weeks, not months, since I mentioned him to you, Mother. And no, I'm not busy because of Luca. I'm studying for finals, remember?"

"Luca is it?" She wiggles her brows, completely ignoring anything else I've said. She's so excited she can barely contain her giddiness.

"You know, Mom, this amount of interest in my love life is not healthy." I chide.

"Oh." she waves her hand, dismissing my comment. "You rarely dated—not that you didn't have boys after you. It just seemed like you didn't care. You can't blame your mother for being excited that you're finally giving a guy a chance." She picks up her menu again. "I know you just told me about him, but you said you've been dating longer … what, three months now?"

I sigh. It's not that I don't want to talk to her about him. I do. I just wish I could be totally honest.

"It feels about that long." I hedge. "It's going well. I'm busy with school and he's busy building his empire, so we don't actually see each other too often."

Mom sits at attention. "Empire?"

I snap my gaze to hers to find her eyes eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, he just purchased a hotel, and he's renovating it. It's taking a lot of his time right now." Her eyes widen even more. "What?"

"I-your father and I assumed you were dating someone in school. How old is this, Luca?"

I clear my throat. "He's thirty-two. And before you say anything, he's only nine years older than me."

"I wasn't going to say anything. I'm just surprised. Wow, he owns a hotel? At thirty-two?"

"Uh, well. He owns several. I think. And a restaurant, and well, he's kind of an entrepreneur, I guess. "

"Oh, my. Sounds like he's doing well for himself."

"Yes. It's why he's so busy."

"But, you still—"

Mom's interrupted by our server, so we both sit back and place our orders. She waits until he leaves before she leans back in.

"You still like him, though? You're having fun dating?"

I've never seen my mom so unsure of herself. I laugh.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Mom. If I wasn't enjoying his time, I wouldn't be dating him. We're fine. We just aren't together as much as you might think because we're both busy. And it's not serious or anything. We are just enjoying each other's company right now. It's too soon to think about anything else. Okay."

"Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure everything's still good and you're having fun." She shifts in her chair. "I have some news for you."

"Oh?" I pick up my glass of water and sip, wishing our espresso was ready.

"There's an opening for a kindergarten teacher at our elementary school. The principal asked about you since I've been bragging about how well you've been doing in school." She's glowing with happiness as she hands me a business card. "Call him for an interview. He loves the idea of getting a fresh college graduate for the position."

"That's fantastic! I was just thinking I needed to job hunt soon." I stash the card in my purse for later.

Mom bounces in her seat. "Won't it be wonderful if you're working across the street from me, honey? I've been so worried you would have to move away to find an open position. You're already too far away from me."

"Mom." I laugh. "I'm only a half hour drive—forty-five tops in heavy traffic.

"Like I said, too far." She harrumphs.

Shaking my head, I smile at her, distracted by my first thought of wanting to tell Luca. With the junior high located across the street from the elementary school, I'll be able to see my mom plenty .

Mom moves on and prattles about dad and golf, but I'm only half listening. It bothers me that my immediate reaction was wanting to share the news with Luca. Talia's right, I need to step back emotionally. In five months, he won't be there anymore and I need to prepare for that.