Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

IT'S A LEGEND THAT MOST SHIFTERS AREN'T EVEN SURE IS REAL.

I huddled over my mug of tea; the steam rising in tendrils that did nothing to warm the ice in my veins or soothe the shreds of my throat from screaming. I was pissed at Trux. Seph was gone. Ryker...

Ryker would never come back.

I'd fucked it all up. Again.188335

Rhiot slid into the seat across from me, dark eyes searching my face. "Parker?—"

"Don't." My throat closed around the word, raw from screaming for Ryker. I swallowed hard, wincing at the stab of pain. "Just...don't."

Rhiot sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "Seph will bring him back."

I slammed my mug down with a crack, tea sloshing over the sides. "You didn't see him! You didn't see..." My breath hitched. Ryker's eyes, icy rage burning in their depths. Consuming shame. The hopelessness that engulfed him before he'd destroyed the room.

"He's gone," I whispered. "I drove him away."

"Parker, no. This wasn't your fault." Rhiot reached for my hand, but I yanked away.

"Yes, it was!" I surged to my feet, the old wooden floor of our remote cabin creaking under my feet. "All I do is ruin everything I touch. My powers, my relationships… Why did I think I could ever be enough for someone like him? For any of you?"

"Hey," Rhiot's voice was soft, but insistent. "You listen to me. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. And Ryker? He loves you. He'll come back."

"Then why did he leave in the first place?" The unshed tears stung my eyes, and I clenched my fists. "Because I'm broken. I've destroyed Ryker and now..." My voice broke off before I could get the words out. I'd doomed them all.

"Or maybe he just needs some space to sort things out," Rhiot spoke gently, trying to calm me down. "You know how stubborn he can be. But Seph will bring him back, and you two will work it out."

I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing Seph was here. "He wanted to mate me... I needed to claim him. It doesn't make sense."

Rhiot shook his head as he settled his arms on the wooden table. "It's not that easy. It's a legend that most shifters aren't even sure is real. We're doing our best, but we don't really understand it."

"Then who the fuck does?" The frustrated shout felt like razor blades in my throat.

I coughed, which evolved into a fit. Trux reached for my mug of lemon ginger tea with honey, but I glared at him. He put his hands up in surrender while I took a drink. The warm liquid soothed my throat, but did nothing for the ache in my chest. I set the mug down with a thud.

"Parker." Rhiot's voice was stern, demanding my attention. I looked up at him, eyes burning. "We will figure this out. All of us, together. But you have to give Ryker some space right now. He's not in the right headspace, and you'll only make it worse if you keep pushing."

I wanted to argue, to scream that Rhiot didn't understand. That the bond between Ryker and I was grating through me with every second we were apart. Chaotic emotions charged every nerve and atom until I felt like I would implode. But I knew he was right. I had already done enough damage.

With a sigh, I ran a hand through my hair. "I just... I need to fix this. To fix us."

Rhiot gave me a sad smile. "The only thing that needs fixing here is your patience. Give Ryker time. Give Seph time to work on him. And in the meantime..." He glanced at Trux. "Try to get along with the others. They want to help you, too."

I bit my lip, gaze dropping to the table. "If I can't mate with Ryker, what makes you think I can mate with any of them? With you?"

"It's meant to be. I feel it. We all do." Trux shifted, clearing his throat. "Look, Parker... I shouldn't have lost my temper. I'm sorry."

An apology. From Trux, of all people. I searched his face, but found only sincerity. My shoulders relaxed a fraction as I gave a small nod. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean..."

"I know." His lips twitched. "You were… out of your mind with worry. I get it."

I huffed a weak laugh. "Yeah. Out of my mind seems to be my default state lately."

Rhiot clapped a hand on Trux's shoulder, giving me a pointed look. "In that case, how about we call a truce? Get some rest and start fresh in the morning."

Trux held out a hand, brow raised in question. I stared at it a moment before shaking my head. Honestly, I didn't trust the lust demon needs to not surge just at the touch of him. Sex would only make my emotions worse right now. "Truce, but I'm not shaking your hand right now. Actually, I need to be alone for a bit."

The tension in the room eased a fraction, and I felt the vice around my chest loosen. Not completely, not until Ryker was back where he belonged, but it was a start.

Rhiot nodded, apparently satisfied we weren't going to tear each other apart. "Good. Now, I don't know about you two, but I'm beat. We've got a long day ahead of us, so I'm turning in." He gave me another pointed look. "That goes for you too, Parker. You need to rest."

I opened my mouth to argue, but he was already stalking off to his room. With a huff, I turned to find Trux watching me, an unreadable expression on his face.

"What?" I snapped, nerves fraying again.

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Just thinking you should listen to Rhiot. Getting some sleep will help."

"I can sleep when Ryker's back where he belongs." I bit out.

He stalked toward me, and I jumped up from my seat at the table and backed up a step. But he didn't stop until he had me crowded against the wall, hands on either side of my head.

"Listen to me, little mate." His voice was low and rough. "You're exhausted and distraught. Pushing yourself until you collapse won't do anyone any good. Ryker included."

I scowled up at him, heartbeat racing. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Trux leaned in until his lips brushed my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "You need to rest. Now. Or I will make you."

A wave of heat washed through me at the promise in his tone. I swallowed hard, torn between irritation at his arrogance and desire for the comfort he offered. Except I was still pissed at him for holding me back when I tried to go after Ryker.

"I don't need to be manhandled." I said, but the protest came out weak.

"Then stop arguing and do as you're told." He nipped at my earlobe, and I gasped. "Either go to your room alone or you're coming to me with mine, but the last thing you're doing is staying up all night and wearing a path in the floor from all your pacing."

With a defeated sigh, I nodded.

Trux pulled back, satisfaction gleaming in his eyes.

"Alone it is." I brushed past him and made my way to the room I'd shared with Seph the night before.

Once inside, I locked the door and leaned back against it, eyes closing. If Trux wanted to be bossy, he could be alone. Let him boss someone else around tonight. I wasn't in the mood for it. I plopped down on the bed, exhausted and full of warring emotions. Fated mates were meant to be, so why wasn't this easy?

The scent of Seph lingered on the sheets, soothing the jagged edges of my frayed nerves. I breathed it in, missing her presence like an ache in my chest. If only she were here, holding me close and whispering that everything would be alright.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Seph's undershirt draped over the back of a chair. I grabbed it and collapsed again onto the bed, clutching the soft fabric to my chest as I inhaled her scent.

Why did relationships between humans and shifters have to be so damned difficult? Seph understood me in a way the others didn't, yet here we were, torn apart. Why couldn't one thing go right for once?

My gaze landed on the small notebook on the nightstand Seph had returned to me, filled with notes she'd scribbled about each of my mates. Pulling it to me, I opened the pages. I smiled as I read the page dedicated to her, especially the part where she'd proclaimed herself the best in bed. Classic Seph.

A slip of paper fluttered out as I turned the page. I picked it up, heart clenching at Seph's neat handwriting.

Ryker headed to the training facility. Stay away.

How had she gotten the note here with no one seeing her? I crumpled the note in my fist, panic and anger warring inside me. Why was Ryker going to the training facility? There wasn't any reason for him to go if I wasn't there... was there?

A surge of determination coursed through me. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing while Ryker was out there doing who knew what. I had to help him, even if it meant going against his wishes... and Seph's orders. And Trux's. I didn't care that he was the alpha of the pack.

I leaped off the bed, hastily gathering my essentials. My fingers fumbled as I stuffed everything into my backpack, a change of clothes, and my notebooks. The tattoo of Cerberus on my arm pulsed with life, as if sensing my anxiety. I couldn't afford any accidents with my demonic powers now.

"Stay calm," I whispered to myself, trying to keep my nerves in check. "You can do this."

Backpack slung over my shoulder, I crept down the hallway and slipped out the back door. My heart raced with every step, half expecting Trux or Rhiot to pop out of the shadows. But the yard was empty. I quickened my pace, breaking into a jog as I headed into the forest.

The trees whipped by me as I ran, my sneakers pounding against the dirt. My lungs burned as I pushed myself to go faster, racing against the voice in my head telling me this was a bad idea. If I could get far enough away, then I'd have a chance to order Mephistral to transport me where I needed to go.

I was almost at the edge of the forest when a loud shout rang out behind me. "Parker! Stop right there!"

I skidded to a halt, panic flooding my senses. Rhiot. How had he known? I whirled around to find him stalking towards me, eyes glowing with anger. "Trux told you to stay in bed," he growled.

"I can't," I said, backing away. "I have to find Ryker."

"Ryker can handle himself. Now get back inside before I have to drag you there myself." Rhiot bared his teeth, the threat clear in his voice.

Anger rose inside me, hot and sharp. "You can't tell me what to do," I snapped. The Cerberus tattoo burned, as if agreeing with my defiance. I wasn't going to back down. I was so tired of everyone bossing me around.

Rhiot's eyes narrowed. "If you take one more step, I will catch you."

I lifted my chin as I narrowed my gaze at him. I opened my mouth like I wanted to say something, then turned and bolted into the darkness.