20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

Silas

After taking Ella home to rest and visit her father, I head back to the townhouse. With everyone back at their own places, I'm sure it's bustling but it can't possibly be as loud as it's been at Mom and Dad's. I'm sure they are taking in a little peace and quiet as well.

I no sooner step through the front door, and the noise hits me like a tidal wave. The four of them—Beck, Ezra, Rafe, and Lev—are all watching recorded hockey games. Beck hollers when his favorite Denver Dragon scores, while the others tease him.

"Tease me all you want, but I promise you with me coaching Coldstone Creek's high school team, you're going to see someone you know on that team." Beck's grumpy persona is still there, but finding the love of his life has certainly mellowed out some of the scowling.

"Right, good luck with that," Lev teases, but if I know our older brother, then I know Beck won't go easy on the high school team. They'll be working their rear ends off like we did.

Everyone is having a good time, even Rafe who is still nursing a broken heart. I haven't had a lot of time to process Luna leaving, but it still settles all wrong with me. I thought for sure she and Rafe were meant to be together forever. Even with the rough breakup Rafe's dealing with, the brother that concerns me most is Ezra.

He fakes a good time, laughing when appropriate, but his eyes never show the same emotion. Ezra has always been the sunshine brother, the one who cheers everyone else up and sets everything right that goes wrong. It's not like him to mope and fake happiness. I shut the door behind me and earn his attention. He offers a little nod, then turns his attention back to the television.

"Hey, Si, how was your date?" Lev asked.

I can't stop the wide smile that gives away my utter happiness. "It was great," I say, unsure how much I should give away. Ella and I didn't discuss much past the initial proposal, including whether or not to tell our families yet. Rather than spill information she might not be ready to share, I hold it in and shrug. "Things are working out."

Lev's genuine happiness is apparent in his grin.

"That's good to hear," Beck says.

"Yeah, so, Dad said you're going to work for Baker? That mean you're dropping out of college?" Rafe asks.

I plop my keys on my assigned hook and shirk my coat. "Yeah, but I don't look at it as dropping out of college so much as redirecting my training. Baker is going to teach me everything he knows, and if it works out, I might buy the farm from him."

"Wow," Beck says. "You never struck me as the farmer type, but I guess I can see it. It's hard work and probably more fun for you being outdoors."

"I love it actually," I say and head towards the stairs. Ezra keeps giving me the glance that means he needs to talk but doesn't want to say it aloud. "Listen, I have some things to do real quick, but I'd be up for some pizza and games later."

"Sure, anything you need help with?" Ezra asks.

"Uh, yeah, if you want." Ezra practically leaps from his chair and jogs up the stairs behind me. Usually, Ezra goes to Beck to talk about things that bother him, but he's always reserved the we need to talk glance for me. Most often, it was for my benefit because I had done something wrong, so I'm slightly nervous about what he might want to discuss. Hopefully, I haven't done anything stupid because I'm not sure if I can tackle one more problem right now. I'm all problemed out with very little brain space left for solution seeking.

Once we reach my room, Ezra shuts the door behind us. That's new.

"What in the world is going on?" I ask, flipping on my lamp.

Ezra ruffles his hair, which was already sticking out in all directions, and groans. He runs his hands down his face and shakes his head. "I need advice."

To say I'm surprised that my usually level headed brother is seeking my advice is an understatement. I'm the last person anyone comes to for such things, so if he's looking at me, then it must be really bad or really dumb.

"Okay," I drawl. "About what?"

Ezra motions towards my desk chair so I nod and take my bed. He props his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands in front of him. "So, here's the thing, I originally wanted to tell Lorelai this news first, but I'm not sure how."

Anxiety builds in my chest as I watch Ezra clasp and unclasp his fingers. "This must be really serious then?"

Ezra begins bouncing his knee and clears his throat. "Uh, yeah. It is. I joined the Army."

"What?' I shout and leap from my bed. "You did what?"

"Shh!" Ezra scolds and stands. "Please be quiet. I'm not ready for everyone to know, okay?"

"Ezra! What are you thinking? You can't keep that from everyone," I say, hushing my voice. My heart races. My brother is in the Army. He's going to go places, likely dangerous places, maybe even get shot at and there's nothing I can do about it. Sweat breaks out on my forehead as I try to comprehend this massive turn of events.

"It seems crazy, but I thought about it for a year before joining. I leave for basic training soon, so I know I need to tell everyone. The thing is, I never expected that kiss with Lorelai to happen. I think I need to tell her first now, and I don't know how to do that." He buries his hands in his hair again as he sits.

I settle back on my bed and ask the obvious question. "Why do you need to tell her first?"

His gaze locks on mine and the answer is in his eyes. "Because despite what everyone seems to think about me lately, I don't kiss girls for the heck of it. I mean, it was unexpected, but I do have feelings for her."

"You do? When did…I mean, it seems sudden," I admit.

"As sudden as Beck and Vivien?" he asks.

I roll my eyes and lean against the wall. "All right, fair enough. We've known them for like fifteen years or something. I get it I guess. What do you need my advice for?" I'm genuinely curious to know what I can possibly do to help my brother tell the girl he likes that he's about to jump to who knows where for who knows how long. And suddenly, I get it.

"You've done this before. You signed up for something you had to do, something you can't take back. I don't want to take it back. I want to do this but I'm not sure if that's the kind of life Lorelai would want. You know what I'm saying?"

"You're serious about her? That serious?"

He groans again and drops his head. "I mean, I don't know yet. I really like her, and the more I think about us having a future together, the more it makes sense. The more I like the idea of it, because yeah, she's always been there the same as Vivien. I never thought of her in a romantic way before the night I kissed her, but I'm telling you, it all hit me so hard I saw stars."

For as long as I can remember, the Mays sisters have been a steady part of our lives. We've grown up with them, and as we've gotten older and so many things are changing, it's clear that there are difficult decisions we all have to make. This is Ezra's, and yeah, it's not much different from mine.

I gather my thoughts while Ezra tries to keep himself together.

"Listen, I'm lucky that Ella forgave me. She had every right to reject giving me another chance, but fortunately, she understood why I was so scared. I handled it all wrong. If you're asking my advice, then it's this—tell her. Tell her now, even if it comes out messy, and then figure out how you're going to tell Mom."

"What if she doesn't want this kind of life? What am I supposed to do then?"

I heave a deep sigh. "Then you'll have to either move on or change your priorities."

Ezra scowls. "It's the Army, Si. They don't really let you change your mind about things."

"I meant whether you reenlist once your initial enlistment is over, doofus. She might not want this life, but if you want her more than you want it, then she might be willing to wait it out."

Ezra stares at the floor. "I don't know how to choose."

"That's what I'm telling you. You don't have to choose. You tell her the truth and see how she responds. You might be worrying about something that you don't need to worry about."

He nods and takes a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess you're right. She might actually be okay with it. I'm worried but I guess I can't do anything but ask her."

"Exactly. You know Lorelai won't outright reject you. She's too sweet to break your heart. Worst case, you talk it out and preserve a great friendship."

When he glances up at me, there's no denying what he feels. I feel the same way about Ella. There is no way friendship will be enough for him, so I'll pray that Lorelai and Ezra can work this out. In the meantime, I feel compelled to give him something to lift his spirits, maybe even give him some hope that his own situation isn't a lost cause.

"So, I asked Ella to marry me. Sort of. I proposed a potential proposal which turned into a real proposal and she said yes." I wince a little in preparation for my brother's reaction.

His eyes go wide and he smiles. "I can't believe that literally three of my brothers have gotten into super serious relationships in like two weeks. How did this happen?" He chuckles and adds, "Mom is going to freak out. Maybe I'll tell her about enlisting then you can tell her you're marrying Ella and she'll forget to kill me."

"I still worry she's going to kill you, but she and Dad will also be so proud of you." I can't believe my brother is going to be a soldier. I think about our cousin and how proud the family is of him, and I can't imagine that it would be different with Ezra. The initial shock and worry will pass, and our parents will support him.

Ezra chuckles and seems to relax. "Thanks, Si. It feels good knowing someone else knows and now I can process everything. Congratulations on your engagement, too. I always liked Ella and prayed you'd meet again."

"Anytime, big bro. Should we go order pizza and join the other three?"

He stands and raises his hands. "Why not. One last hurrah before the hoorah, right?"

"Wait," I say and pause my exit, "when are you leaving?"

Ezra's grin only slightly covers a guilty expression. "In a week."

"Ezra! Forget pizza and the game. You need to get in your car, go find Lorelai, work this out, and call a family meeting to tell everyone. Are you crazy?"

A spark lights in my brother's eyes as it all seems to hit him at once. "Oh man," he says and sways. "Oh, man. I'm so stupid. Cover for me?"

"Yeah, sure. Go talk to Lore and work this out." I shake my head as he bolts from my room, probably to make a fool of himself while he blurts out a ridiculous explanation to Lorelai, but once he gets past that part, I'm sure she'll listen. They'll work it out, but now I have three men to distract while he makes like a wild man and runs down the stairs and out the door, slamming it behind him. I'm not even sure if he took his coat.

Beck, Lev, and Rafe stare at the closed door for a moment before looking over to me, setting foot at the bottom stair.

"Uh, he forgot something at Mom and Dad's. Don't worry about it. Three pizzas?" I ask, dodging Judah and Samson, my brothers' dogs, as I make my way to the kitchen.

A round of yeses, followed by more laughter and taunting prove my brothers have the attention span of fleas. Thank goodness, because there's no doubt that Ezra's drama has been a hot topic as of late. As I dial the pizza house, I can't help but thank God that I'm finally over the hump of misery that has been my life for three years.

I finally have Ella back, and I don't intend to ever let her go.