18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Ella

I wake with a start as the fireworks start exploding all through town. Abbie is on the other end of the sofa, rousing. Taking a few breaths to calm my racing heart, I glance over to my father's favorite chair to find him absent. A cursory look around the room reveals he's nowhere to be found.

"Abs, did Dad go to bed?" I ask, sitting fully on the sofa to check around. Abbie sits beside me and looks around. "I don't see him down here."

"I don't know. He usually falls asleep in the chair if we're downstairs." She stands to go search upstairs while I head to the kitchen, hoping he's raiding the cabinets for a late night snack.

In the kitchen, it's clear he'd rummaged around. Cabinets are open and most of the drawers are emptied onto the countertops. How Abbie and I slept through him making this mess is beyond me. The milk is out on the counter, still chilled enough to not have been out too long. I put it away and head toward the stairs.

"Ella!" Abbie calls and jogs down the stairs. "He's not up there anywhere."

Panicked, I check the house alarm. "We fell asleep and forgot to set the alarm, Abs." I check the front door and find it's partially cracked open.

"Oh, no. I'll call the police while you check outside!" Abbie hurries to get her phone and I run into the drive, spinning in a circle to get a good look all around. I can't hear anything over the fireworks, but I also don't see anything. Not even a set of footprints that might indicate which direction he might have gone. What a perfect time for the snow to melt enough to clear the walkways. Panic seizes me and I rush back inside and push open the door to the garage. The car is gone.

"Abbie! The car is gone!" I scream. If Dad was still lucid like he was earlier today when he took the car, things might be okay. If not, I can't even imagine what might happen.

Abbie runs into the garage with her phone in hand. "Yeah, the car is gone. You have to find him," she says.

"I'll call Silas. They can help." I rush past her while she talks to the police dispatch.

I can't lose another parent. The statement plays over and over in my mind as I hurry to get my phone. In my rush, I fumble and drop it, chase it across the room, and finally snatch it up. It's so loud still, that I'm not even sure if Silas will hear his phone. After five rings, I'm positive he can't. I'm about to hang up when he answers.

"Ella! Happy new year!" he shouts, then, "Sorry, I didn't hear you calling. I was about to message you."

"Silas, Dad is gone!" I shout, ignoring his pleasantries. "We can't find him anywhere, and the car is gone."

"What? I can't hear you. Hang on!" There's music in the background mingling with the fireworks. He mumbles something to someone, then a door slams and it's significantly quieter. "Ella, what's wrong?"

"It's Dad. We fell asleep on the sofa and when we woke up, Dad was gone. The car isn't in the garage. Silas, he's driving somewhere!"

"You called the police already?" he asks.

"Of course. I need your help," I say, tears streaming down my face. "What if…Silas…I can't—"

"It's okay, Ella. We'll find him. I'll be there as fast as I can."

"Thank you," I manage to mumble, working to control my panic so I can be of some use searching for my father. Who knows when he left, probably not too long ago judging by the still cool milk, but even a few minutes can be dangerous. I accidentally hang up the phone without saying goodbye, my nerves rattled beyond belief.

"The cops are going out looking. One will be here to get a report," Abbie says, entering the living room.

"Silas is on his way to help us look." I glance at my phone and get an idea. "Do you think Dad took his phone with him?"

"Only one way to find out."

Every cell in my body is on edge when I pull up his number and hit dial. It seems like forever before it goes right to voicemail, dashing my hopes. "I'll keep trying while we wait for Silas. The fireworks seem to be quieting down, so he might hear it if he has it."

Abbie frowns and fat tears slip down her cheeks. "This is all my fault. I should have checked the alarm before getting comfortable." She furiously wipes her face but as soon as her cheeks dry, more tears slip free.

"It isn't your fault, Abs. I live here, too. I should be helping you more and spending less time out of the house." It has been wonderful to reconnect with Silas, but I haven't exactly helped Abbie, and she needs it.

"I'm happy for you, though. I want you to have a life, and Silas seems like he's really matured. He's good for you and—"

"But Abbie, I want you to be happy too," I interrupt. My own tears fall fast.

She chokes a little sob and tries to smile. "I understand Dad a little more now." She wipes her face once more and throws her hands in the air. "This is such a mess, and he probably would be happier and safer in that community."

I shake my head and reach to hug her. "Abs, you've done everything possible to make sure he's safe. You can only do so much, but you're right. We'll tour the place and make sure it's really as great as it seems, but please don't worry for a second that you've done anything wrong. This is hard, and I should have been here for you."

She holds me tightly and squeezes. "No, I wanted you to go to college, Ella. It is what it is. We'll figure it out."

By the time we're finally cried out, the doorbell rings. Abbie rushes to open it, finding Judson Baker on the other side of the door.

"Abbie?" he says. "What happened?"

Abbie lets him in and he begins taking a report. She left the front door wide open, but when I go to shut it, half a dozen Thomas brothers pop out of nowhere, led by Silas. He doesn't hesitate to wrap me in his arms and kiss my forehead.

"We have everyone in town out looking," Silas says. "Some of my brothers wanted to check this side of town. We have cars, so we can split up. Want to ride with me?"

I look over my shoulder where Abbie and Judson are talking. He places a gentle hand on her shoulder and promises her they'll find him. It's sweet, and his confidence makes me feel a little better. Coldstone Creek is only so big, and surely with the whole town searching, we'll find him. Images of my mother's car upside down in the river invade my mind, taking me to places I can't go right now. Silas seems to notice this, and palms my cheeks.

"We are going to find him, Ells. He's going to be all right."

I nod and swallow the lump in my throat. "Okay. Yeah, let's go."

Silas takes my hand and waves towards Abbie. "We're heading out to search. You want to stay here in case he returns?"

Abbie waves us off and refocuses on Judson, giving him a full description of all the things Dad likes to do, things he might decide are good fun at midnight.

Outside, the rest of the brothers scatter and begin their search.

In the warmth of Silas' truck, I break down completely. Heaving sobs shake my whole body, my head pounds, and I'm close to shutting down. Freezing everything out. Closing myself off with fear.

"Ella, you can't do this. We have to look for him, okay?" He drags me across the seat and tucks me close. "Come here, and listen to me. We are going to find him and he's going to be fine. I know you're scared, but I need you to be strong through this. I'm here for you."

I lick my lips and work to control the sobs, but it's so hard. Silas rubs my back for a moment, giving me some space to work it out until I can finally breathe. I take a few gulps and count myself back to calmness. I reach twenty before I can say the number without choking, and by the time forty rolls around, I'm composed enough to speak.

"I'm sorry. I'm so scared."

"I understand. Let's go find him, okay?"

I peer up into his sweet, warm eyes and fall in love all over again. This man never stopped loving me, he merely didn't know how to do it right back then. But now? It's righter than rain and I trust him when he says it'll all be okay.

"Okay?" he asks, grasping my chin, waiting for the go-ahead that I'm ready. I nod, so he kisses my nose and starts his truck. "Okay, where might he want to go on New Year's Eve?"

"I'm not sure. He mostly watches sports now. The only thing he really—" It hits me so hard, I'm almost dizzy. "The driving range. He said today he missed playing golf."

It's such a random inspiration, but I just know that's where my father is. He used to go every Saturday morning while we slept, then he'd come home and make us a big family lunch. Corinna used to love it.

"All right. Let's go." Silas backs out of the driveway and heads across town. There are cars all over the streets, all looking for my father. Silas wasn't kidding. He got the whole town to drop everything and go on a search party. But that's Coldstone Creek for you. The town loves its people, and when things go wrong, they step up. Others walk the sidewalks, check down alleys, and coordinate the search.

Time seems to stand still until we enter the golf course property and pull into the parking lot near the large country club. At first glance, I don't see my father's car anywhere and I think I might be wrong. The parking lot is dimly lit but bright enough to realize there's no one here but us.

"I don't understand. I thought for sure he'd be here." I press my nose to the window as if it might help me see farther.

"Let's drive around to the back side. Maybe he parked in the employee lot or something." Silas pulls around but that lot is empty too. He glances at me with that worried expression he tries to hide for me. "We'll find him, Ells. We have to be patient."

I nod and inhale, chewing my lip. I'm equal parts frustrated and worried, but one last scan proves beneficial. "Wait, what's that?" I ask, pointing towards the small maintenance shop off to one side of the building.

Silas drives us closer and sure enough, it's my father's car. He barely gets the truck in park before I leap from the seat and hit the ground running.

"Ella, slow down!" Silas says, catching up to me. "I don't see him in the car." He peers in beside me then pulls the door open. "The keys are still in the ignition. Let me grab them in case he returns."

He stuffs the keys in his pocket and slips his coat off. I don't even realize I'm freezing until his warm coat wraps around me and I let out a huff. My breath fills the space in fog, reminding me that if anything happens to my father out here, he could freeze to death.

"Hey, look. One of the golf carts is missing."

I look over the fleet of carts and one space is empty. It doesn't make sense that one would be missing from the middle of the row, so I pray he's right. "How would he get it started, though?" I ask, inspecting the remaining carts. There are no keys and they don't have any other way to start them.

"Here, the key locker is broken too." Silas pulls a key from the locker, carefully avoiding broken glass. It appears my father really wanted to play golf. "Let's go for a quick lap around and see if we find him. Should you call Abbie?"

I bite my lip and fall into the seat beside him. "Not yet. I don't want her rushing over here in case he's not here anymore."

Silas takes the turns of the golf course slowly, scanning the low hills and features of the layout. By the time we reach hole ten, he's shivering without a coat. I pull it off and shove it at him. "No, I'll be fine. Put it back on before you get sicker." He won't hear of taking it back, so I slip my arms back in and snuggle closer to him. He wraps one arm around me, holding me tight, while operating the golf cart.

The golf cart's headlights flash on something red and I realize it's the rear reflectors of another cart. "There," I shout, shaking Silas.

He pulls beside the cart and stops, but I don't see my father anywhere. His clubs are in the rack, so he definitely stole it, but where is he? We follow the path until we reach a sand trap. My father is there, whacking away at a ball while cursing everything under the stars. Not only is it a shock to find him, but to hear him screaming words he's never said before takes me by surprise. My father never cursed, not once in my whole life, but here he is saying things I'm not even sure are real words.

"Ella, why don't you wait at the cart?" Silas says, putting himself between my father and me.

"It's okay. I'm sure he'll—"

"Ella." Silas' voice is firm. He's not suggesting that I do it.

I want to argue with him and tell him it's not his place to tell me what to do, but when my father chucks a club across the sand trap and it bounces off the path, nearly hitting him, I realize Silas is only trying to protect me…from my own father.

Trembling, I go back to the cart and wait. Once I'm safe, Silas sets his focus on Dad.

"Mr. Mitchell, are you okay?" he asks.

My father is startled by his presence but relaxes. He seems to recognize Silas.

"Silas, what are you doing out here?" Dad asks. "It's too cold for you to be out without a coat. We should get you somewhere warm." Dad offers his hand to Silas as if he's a child, but Silas doesn't take it. Instead, he motions towards the carts on the path.

"Why don't we ride up to the clubhouse and get all of this put away?" Silas takes one step toward the cart and my father curses all over again. He shouts about how his game is completely off and he can't even hit the ball straight. This is not my father. I squeeze my eyes shut and realize it's part of the dementia. The doctors told us he might have bouts of aggression along with the forgetfulness and confusion.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I stink at golf, but maybe you can show me how to play sometime?" Silas asks, glancing over his shoulder to me. He holds his hand up to his ear like a phone. It takes me a moment to realize he needs me to call an ambulance. There is no way we will get my father to safety like this, not when we can't be sure he won't throw punches at one of us. As much as it breaks my heart, I make the call.

Silas manages to keep my father occupied and even gets him to sit in the golf cart he stole while we wait for the ambulance. Abbie and Judson arrive shortly after it does, and together we watch them drive off with my father half sedated. Abbie is falling apart, but there's nothing more we can do right now. Once the owner of the course is notified by the police, Silas takes Abbie and me home.

We have a lot to discuss, and I'm too exhausted to think about any of it.