2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

ISABEL

"Five, six, seven, eight," I counted off, falling into the steps as the next song began to play, my mind still far from the euphoria I needed.

And I needed to find it. Before Annie and the others came home. I couldn't let them see. They thought I was doing so much better, and I needed them to believe it. If not for their peace of mind then for my own.

After Tucker had slipped out this morning, I'd almost immediately woken up without him there, and I'd never made it back to sleep. It was almost impossible. Annie had left not long after that, and while I'd ached to stop her, to talk to her for a while to keep some of my sanity, I knew I couldn't. Not today. She'd been missing Jet like crazy, and I was not going to make her late to see him just because I couldn't deal with my own shit.

The saving grace had been a call from work, asking me to come in. It was only for a few hours, but I'd seized it. Craving it. That small bit of joy and peace it brought to my heart while I was there, surrounded by all of the little ones …

I'd started at a daycare not long after New Year's, my wounded heart desperate and searching for something, anything that could make the ache go away. Even just temporarily.

And that's all it ever was. Temporary. But I didn't care.

My friends did, though. And they'd be pissed if they knew I took an extra shift today.

Again, I didn't care. So many choices had been ripped from me lately, and I refused to have this one taken from me, too. Much like the choice I'd made last November had been. My whole world had shifted and changed, and I'd gladly done it, but it didn't even matter anymore. It could never come to be, and yet, it had totally and completely forever altered everything anyway.

"Dang it," I cursed, faltering on my landing after a complicated jump and spin. I'd prayed the extra rehearsal would save my sanity, and perhaps it had, but my moves were still terrible, nowhere near what they'd been a few months ago before I'd gotten hurt. I'd been dancing again for about a month now, and I hated the regression. The loss of muscle and coordination in the ankle and leg that I'd broken. I could just picture Leo's disappointment if I brought this crap to my upcoming Baste Academy audition.

At least, I hadn't lost that. Leo had filled them in during his, and as soon as they heard and got documentation from the hospital, they were gracious enough to reschedule for me.

One of the small graces life had sent my way.

But that also meant I couldn't mess this up.

Resetting the music, I started again, letting the melody take control. Sweat plastered my hair to my brow, dripping between my breasts and down the V of my back. My arms were slick with it by the time I was through, and my ankle was starting to ache, telling me it was time to ice it and give it some rest.

I pulled out my earbuds and grabbed my phone, just now spotting the text Annie had sent me twenty minutes ago. I quickly sent one back.

Me: Dancing. Staying sane. The usual. Don't worry about me, though. Enjoy your time with Jet, and tell him I say hi.

Me: I'll be at the beach.

I sent the second one as a follow up, remembering Tucker and I promised to steer clear for a bit today when they were getting home.

So much for that ice . I looked wistfully at the freezer, grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the freshly stocked fridge instead. Screw it. I grabbed a pack anyway and headed upstairs.

I wasn't thrilled at the idea of going to the beach. The crowds were the last thing I wanted to deal with, but the idea of seeing Tucker was definitely appealing. Even now, I ached with his absence. I was so exhausted.

I was always exhausted.

Heading straight into the bathroom I shared with Annie, I ran a bath, setting my ice pack on the counter while I got undressed, careful not to stand in front of the mirror. As soon as it was full enough, I stepped in, my muscles sighing in relief with the heat. I did a quick wash and shave, and then propped my foot up on the side of the tub, placing the ice pack over it. I laid my head back and closed my eyes, my thoughts swirling all too quickly and closely to things I kept off limits. Things that were tucked away and better left untouched.

So much had changed. So much was different.

My eyes pricked, and I swallowed. I needed Tucker. The peace that being near him brought.

At least fifteen minutes had passed, and my nerves were too anxious now to wait any longer, so I set the ice pack aside and lifted myself out of the tub, grabbing the purple towel from the rod. I quickly wrapped it around myself before I could glimpse my scar in the mirror, the vicious red mark on my abdomen a constant reminder of my loss.

Once I was safely covered, I ran a brush through my hair with a little bit of product to let it air dry, not having it in me for anything more at the moment, and stepped out into the bedroom.

Walking quickly over to the dresser, I grabbed my new—and necessary—cut out one piece, careful to avoid an accidental glance at the base of my favorite piece of furniture that was now covered with scuff marks and chips in the beautiful wood. I'd always regret how I'd lashed out when I'd read Daddy's letter. I just hadn't been ready then, not even slightly equipped to deal with the onslaught of emotions it had brought after just losing my daughter.

But I wasn't going to let myself think about that. That fit into a category of a lot of things I had to focus on not thinking about. I took a deep breath, steadying myself, and pulled my swimsuit up under my towel, making sure it was well up my waist before letting the towel drop.

My hand skimmed over my lower abdomen now that it was covered, making sure the painful reminder of that night that only myself and some of the hospital staff had seen was well hidden. It felt smooth, flawless. And a glance in the mirror told me that others would be fooled into thinking the same.

Reassured, I stuffed a beach towel and sunscreen in my bag and darted from the room, my thoughts already focused on who I needed to see at the beach.

TUCKER

"Ahhh!!!"

I winced, holding the small leg still as the boy tried to jerk back. "I know it hurts, but you'll be okay. I promise," I said in my most soothing voice to the crying six-year-old. "Do your best to hold still for me, okay? The more still you are, the faster I can get done." I gave him a smile, and he nodded, tears still spilling down his cheeks as he gave me a trembling one back. His mom sat in the sand behind him, her arms around his waist.

"Are you sure he's going to be fine? Do I need to take him to the emergency room?"

"No, ma'am." I splashed a little more seawater over the boy's leg before grabbing my tweezers. "It's a jellyfish sting. Nothing to get too upset over. He'll be fine." I carefully plucked a bit of tentacle from the fresh sting, and the boy screamed. Shit. I held back a wince as the mom gave me a piercing glare.

"I'm sorry. I have to," I said to them both. "It has to be treated. I can do it right here, now , or you can take him to the ER where he might have a several hours long wait." I held her dark brown stare for several seconds before she finally gave me a consenting nod.

Thank God. This poor kid did not need to wait for treatment.

"Ow!" The boy screamed again as I pulled off another venom sac. I quickly plucked away the last two and doused the kid's leg in vinegar before setting him up with a hot water soak.

"Alright, Caleb," I said in the same soothing voice as I reached into the first aid kit. "I'm going to put some of this on your leg." I held up a tube of hydrocortisone cream. "Trust me?" He looked at me warily, and I gave him a raised eyebrow with a funny face I used on my sisters sometimes. "Hey, now, you can't tell me this thing still hurts like it did when I first started helping you, can you?"

The edge of his mouth lifted in a tiny flicker of a grin. "I guess not."

"Thought so." I grinned back. "Now, hold still for me." I spread the cream on and then showed his mom the tube. "You'll need to pick some of this up if you don't have any at home. He'll need it applied twice a day until it heals."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"Of course."

I ruffled Caleb's hair. "Okay, kid. Thanks for being so brave. You're good to go."

Taking a deep breath, I waited for them to walk off before heading back to my chair.

"Well, that looked like fun," Emma teased when I climbed back up into the chair next to hers.

I shot her a sarcastic look. "Tons."

She laughed. "I'm just glad it wasn't me. "

"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to let you run off for bathroom breaks anymore. Last Sunday, you said you had to pee, and a surfer knocked his head on his board. Today you go and a boy gets stung by a jellyfish."

"Like I can help that crap happens exactly when I need to use the restroom."

"You should."

Emma gave me a funny look. "You're in a weird mood today."

"Am I?" I asked, avoiding the eyes of the small, athletic blonde who was giving me a scrutinizing look. I kept my gaze out on the Gulf, trying to look intent on searching for trouble that might turn up.

"Yeah. Kinda," she softly replied.

I didn't answer, my eyes still fixed on the sparkling blue water while I waited for my friend to look away. I saw the swing of her ponytail from the corner of my eye and relaxed a little, glad that she seemed to have given up.

"Holy mess. Look who's here," Emma said only moments later.

I turned at the surprise in her voice and smiled.

The most beautiful girl in the world was climbing out of the old, blue Ford I could see parked in the driveway across from my bedroom window. Not that I was really even there much anymore, but it was still my room I guessed. For now.

Izzy's back was to me as she grabbed her things, but, as soon as she turned around, I caught her gaze, watching her eyes light up and my favorite hint of a crooked smile spreading across her face.

"I wondered if we'd see any of Izzy out at the beach anytime soon," Emma commented as I watched my girl head down the manmade path to the golden stretch of sand, her long, damp hair curling gently down her back.

"Me, too," I replied, disheartened as a closer look at Izzy's appearance confirmed my expectations: damp hair, no makeup, the withdrawn look she was trying to hide. Something was off.

"Hey, Izzy," Emma called down when she got close to our chairs.

"Hey, Ems. Hey, whiskey." She smiled up at us, her hand shielding her eyes from the sun.

"Hey, princess. How's today been? Did you get much practice in?"

I watched dullness touch the emerald green of her eyes, flickering there for just a moment, and I wanted to kick myself for whatever part of what I just said that brought that look back again. "I did, but my ankle started to get too sore, so I had to call it and give it some rest. That, and I wanted to see you."

Reading between the lines, the corner of my lips tugged up at one side in an understanding half-smile. "It's a great surprise, but I don't get off for another fifteen minutes."

"That's fine. I'll just go find a spot and start rubbing on my body armor," she joked, pulling a tube of sunscreen from her bag.

Glad to hear even the slightest humor, I gave her my trademark cocky, playful grin. "Hey, now. You've gotta share the goods. Save some for me to do when I get off." I winked, and her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink.

"We'll see." Her teeth pressed into her bottom lip as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear .

Emma groaned. "Ugh, Izzy, either go or y'all just go find a dang room."

I frowned, the playful mood instantly vanishing with Izzy's smile as she dropped the lotion back in her bag. That was something we hadn't done since before we lost our little girl.

"I'm gonna go find a spot. I'll see you later, Ems," Izzy said with a wave.

"Later."

"I'm starting to wonder if your boyfriend is rubbing off on you too much," I snapped at Emma as soon as Izzy was out of earshot.

She frowned at me. "What do you mean? And don't say that too loud. It's like my dad has spies everywhere."

"I mean, you're getting too good at sticking your foot in your mouth."

"What?" She looked affronted. "No, I'm not."

"Yeah."

"What'd I say?"

"Get a room…" I raised my brow as I made my point. "You know we don't—"

"Oh…" she moaned, cutting me off as she caught on. "Jeez, Tucker. I really am sorry. It's just one of those phrases, you know? I really didn't mean it like that."

"See? Foot in mouth."

She grimaced. "So, she's still having a hard time? I mean, I'm sure she is. She just doesn't really talk much anymore. Not to Megan and I, at least, and we're worried."

I nodded, knowing they were. "She doesn't talk much to anyone," I admitted. "But yeah, showing up with no makeup and when I'm not even off yet…" I shook my head sadly. "I don't think she's doing so hot today."

"She seems better most of the time, though. At least compared to the beginning."

"Most of the time," I agreed grimly. Except when she goes to work.

"Is this why your mood's been off today, too? You're worried about her?"

I allowed a slight smile to play on my lips. "You're quick, Ems."

She slapped my arm. "Shut up, Tucker." I laughed as she tightened the short ponytail that barely held her hair. "Hey, why don't y'all come out to Breaker Hall tonight? It would distract Izzy, and you-know-who and I could use some cover. Maybe we could actually get in a dance or two if we're there with a friend group."

My mouth scrunched, considering. "I thought about it, but Jet's just getting back today. I doubt he and Annie are going to want to go dancing, especially him after being on a plane for so long."

"But you know it would be the perfect thing for Izzy. I haven't seen her out in ages, and I bet Jet wouldn't mind going if he knew she was having a rough day."

I faltered. Izzy would love to go…

" Please , Tucker," Emma begged. "It's so much easier to be out with Mat—" She barely caught herself. "When it looks like a group thing."

"Except the group you want to go out with is all paired off. Won't that just look like a couples' thing? Maybe you should ask Megan or some of the girls from the cheer squad. Or Casey and Dinah."

"Megan's babysitting tonight, Casey's still out of town, and Dinah's sick. Please."

"My couples' point is still valid. "

"Details." She gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "Anything's better than it looking like I'm there with him alone."

"I don't know…"

"Tucker!"

"Okay, okay, I'll talk to Jet." I laughed, already planning to call him. I just liked setting Emma off. It was almost as fun as bugging Annie, but damn, the little spitfire could hit hard.

ISABEL

I laid back on my beach towel, wishing I'd thought to bring a book. Or my Kindle. I'd finished all of my recent downloads, but I had a few favorites that were always good for a re-read.

Pulling in a long, slow breath, I released it, enjoying the feel of the warm ocean breeze brushing across my skin and listening to the faint sound of the waves as they lapped gently against the shore, the playful chatter of beachgoers in the background.

I'd been right to come here. Seeing Tucker had been like an instant balm to my frazzled nerves. I knew I hadn't fooled him, but at least, he hadn't seen how upset I'd been before.

I shut my mind off then, draping an arm across my eyes as I worked to focus on the sound of the water before I upset myself all over again.

"Arrrhhhh! "

I lifted my arm at the sound and shrieked to see someone racing towards me, rolling so my back would face the impact as my eyes squeezed shut.

"Cannon ball!"

My towel tugged beneath me, and I heard the thud in the sand at my side. Slowly, I eased open my eyes.

"Hey, Izzy. What's up?"

"Holy crap, Mateo! What the crap?! You're supposed to do that in a swimming pool, not on top of your friends!" I smacked his arm.

He grinned back at me. "Ah, I wasn't really gonna do it. I just wanted to freak you out. Wake you up a bit."

"Mission accomplished," I snapped, my voice still slightly high from the surprise.

"Good. You looked a little bored. Where're Tucker and Annie?" he asked as he laid back against his elbows on the sand by my towel. "When's Jet getting back, anyway?"

I sat up to face my friend, his russet skin not yet darkened by the sun this year. "Today, actually. Annie went to Houston to pick him up. Tucker's working. Well, just getting off," I amended after taking a quick look at my Fitbit.

"You're waiting for him, then?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. I'll wait with you."

Great… I performed a mental eye roll. Mateo was okay, honestly a solid friend, but I wasn't really in the mood for his verbal mishaps right now. "So, what have you been doing? Are you planning on meeting up with the rest of the guys? "

"We just finished up a volleyball game. Noah and Kyle ditched me for a couple of spring breakers. Not that I blame them. Those chicks were fiiine. "

"Don't let Emma hear you say that."

"What? I'm not allowed to look?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Looking's fine. It's what went through your head that I don't think she'd like."

"I'd like to do to her what's going through my head," he said with a smirk. Then he frowned. "But I can't as long as her racist dad has anything to say about it."

My features scrunched at the comment. I did not understand how people could be so ignorant and cruel about things as insignificant as skin color. Annie and Jet had mostly had it easy. Our families didn't care, welcoming and embracing their relationship. But as soon as our friends tried to start dating last December, Emma's dad went off the deepend, threatening to ground her until she left for college if she even went on a date with the "wetback". His words, not mine.

The asshole.

I shook my head, heated a bit myself over it, and tried to move away from the tender subject. "I doubt Emma would be up for what's going through your head, anyway."

"Maybe not now, but if I had the time to work some of my mad charms on her, she might be willing to change her mind."

I reached over and gave Mateo a sarcastic, sympathetic pat on the arm. "Just keep telling yourself that."

He glared at me, making me fight a grin.

"Keep telling himself what?" Tucker asked as he took his seat beside me, stretching one of his arms to rest behind my back .

"That some of his mad charms will help him get some from Ems."

Tucker tried to choke back a laugh but had to cover it with a cough.

"Hey, you never know. Is it so hard to think that she could want some of this?" Mateo motioned down his actually decent body with one of his hands. All of his training, in an attempt to get a basketball scholarship this season, had left him with some well-toned muscles not previously as defined.

"No comment?" I hid a smirk as Tucker held back his laugh. I knew Mateo didn't look bad. He just wasn't my type, and I only had eyes for one guy, even if he was.

Mateo gave us a mock glare. "You guys suck."

Tucker gave him a pointed look. "No, we're realistic. You're not getting any from Emma unless you plan on putting a ring on her finger and saying I do."

"Ugh! You shut your mouth right now!"

"Just saying." Tucker shrugged before getting up. I gave him a curious look. "I forgot I needed to make a call. Be right back." He leaned in for a quick kiss, leaving me there to listen to Mateo drone on as he walked away.

TUCKER

Heading just far enough away to ensure Izzy couldn't overhear me—because I knew she'd try to say I was making a big deal out of nothing—I stopped several yards away to call Jet, smiling politely but without interest at a group of spring breaker girls that kept giggling and whispering in my direction. I turned my back to them when they didn't stop and made the call.

It took several rings for Jet to pick up, but he was quick to agree, and knowing he and Annie might want some down time together first, I told him to just meet us there when they could. At least one of us should be getting some.

Not that I was bitter. Far from it. I understood. I just missed Izzy. Our connection .

What you have is good, Pierce, so knock it the fuck off.

I shook my thoughts free before heading back over to my friends, fully intending to give Izzy another kiss to help discourage any misunderstandings with the girls nearby, when I heard what Mateo was saying.

"I just don't get why some girls are so weird about sex. Why wait? They like it, too, don't they? Don't you?"

"Um…"

Izzy's head dropped to stare down at her towel, her fingers twirling nervously through the ends of her hair as she flushed more and more pink.

Damn it. Mateo was about to screw up. I could feel it.

"Or do y'all not even do that anymore? I guess I can see why. You probably don't wanna get knocked up again, huh? Or do you just not want Tucker to see your stomach now? Is that why you're wearing that one piece? If so, I'm glad. The bikinis you used to wear were hot, but guys don't wanna see stretch marks. Kind of a turn off, you know?"

"You know what's a turn off? Your face," I spat at my dumbass friend.

"What?" Mateo frowned, completely oblivious .

What? Really? What? Can he really not see how upset Izzy is? I glanced back at my girl, watching the tears brim in her eyes before she turned her head away towards the water. "Just go, Mateo." I tried to keep too harsh of a bite from my voice. The guy seriously didn't do it on purpose. It was just how he was.

"Why? What'd I do?"

"Go," I ordered.

"Fine. Jeez," Mateo grumbled as he got to his feet. "I'll find someone else to hang out with."

"Princess." I knelt down beside her. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to stave off her tears, I was sure. "Isabel, I'm so sorry. I should have made Mateo leave."

"No. It's fine. I'll be alright," she said softly, opening her eyes again. Glancing down, she picked up the tube of sunscreen she'd left laying on the edge of her towel and held it out to me. "Still interested?" she asked, shifting to give me her back as she pulled her hair over one of her shoulders.

I winced a bit when she did. "Very, but it's not going to do you much good."

"What? Why? Don't tell me I'm already burned."

"A little on your shoulders. But that's not why."

"What then?"

"We're leaving."

"But you just got off."

"Yeah, but we're going dancing tonight, and I know how long it takes you to get ready."

She rolled her eyes. "Not that long where we'd need to leave now . "

I shrugged, grinning. "Maybe I just want some time with you first. Not sure about you, but I wouldn't mind a nap." A few months ago, I'd have winked with a double entendre, but that really didn't apply anymore. She needed me to sleep. And I needed her.

I held out my hands, and she stared at them for a few moments before placing hers in mine.

"So, dancing, huh?"

"Yep," I replied, pulling her to her feet.

"And Jet and Annie? I assume that's who you had to go call." She gave me a small, disapproving glare.

I grinned and bent to help her gather her things. "I told them to just meet us there when they're ready. Plus, they had a flat, so they're running late. You can go home and gather your things and come to my house. That way we're still not there when they get back."

Izzy sighed. "I love you, Tucker. And this… But Jet's going to be so tired. You shouldn't have bugged him about it."

"Jet will be fine. It's you we're worried about."

She rolled her eyes. "Like today's worse than any other. I'm fine."

"Are you?"

She swallowed, so many emotions swimming through the mossy depths of green, some of them things I knew she hoped I didn't see. "I'm alive," she eventually managed.

Again, are you?

"Come on. Humor me, then," I said instead, taking her hand as I tossed her bag over my shoulder.

She sighed again. "Only because I love you. And dancing. But dancing first." She treated me with a glimpse of a crooked grin.

I cracked a grin back. "Of course."