5. Shadows of Trust, Blades of Fear

5

SHADOWS OF TRUST, BLADES OF FEAR

T aryn blinked, her eyelids heavy and crusted over. It took her several seconds to realize that the darkness wasn’t from some kind of blindness. It was night once more. Panic threatened to consume her. She had no way of knowing how many days she had slept or how she had been kept unconscious for so long. Shifting off her side forced her to acknowledge that her hands were tied behind her back. The roughness of the rope burned the fragile skin around her wrists. It was so tight that it made it difficult for her to twist herself around.

Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she began to make out her surroundings. Snow-covered tree limbs layered over each other, blocking out the stars and the moon. In front of her, a soft warm glow bounced off the trunk of the tree she had been laid in front of and reflected in the dark green leaves of the holly bush that was close enough she could almost touch it with her nose.

“What—” she whispered to herself.

The word came out a hoarse growl, but even the dryness of her throat wasn’t enough to distract Taryn from figuring out where the little light was coming from. She moved as slowly as she could, not wanting to draw attention to herself in case whoever had taken her wanted to drug her again.

A fire. He was building a fire. A small stack of wood and kindling burned several feet away from Taryn. Though he kept his back to her, she could see that he was trying to build it to grow bigger.

He’s distracted. This is perfect.

It wasn’t often that Taryn relished when someone underestimated her, but this was a time that played in her favor. She ever so slowly took in a deep breath, trying to calm her heart rate and steady her nerves as fast as she could. She would need to act quickly and without hesitation for her plan to work.

Under half closed eyelids, she scanned the rest of the area, making sure there was only one attacker. Pleased to find no one else, Taryn waited.

The man turned towards her, and she let her eyes drift nearly closed. She needed him to think she was still asleep, still harmless until she was ready to strike. Luckily, he gave her a passing glance before turning his attention to the woods around them. He stalked off, the light shining behind him, leaving his face in shadows.

It was hard to tell from her angle on the forest floor, but the man seemed tall. His shoulders were broad, blocking nearly all of the light from the fire. He would not be an easy opponent, but Taryn was more than willing to fight for her freedom. It wouldn’t be the first time she had to do so, she doubted it would be the last.

Once she was sure that the man was far enough away not to hear her movements, Taryn curled her spine backyards, arching so her hands that were still tied behind her could reach the edge of her boots. She said a silent prayer of thanks that Sorcha had always insisted she carried one in her shoes, no matter how uncomfortable it was or how sure she was of where she was going.

Turning the hilt of the dagger up, she sliced through the ropes and freed her hands easily enough. She was tempted to rub at the sore skin on her wrists but didn’t want to risk the man coming back and seeing her. Instead, she tucked the dagger under her leg and left the rope dangling around her wrists, giving the appearance of still being tied up.

She couldn’t tell if it was minutes or hours later, but the man returned, his arms full of wood. It took all of her willpower to keep from shivering, the snow having melted under her and seeping through her cloak. Once again, the man didn’t pay her much attention as he stomped back to the fire. Unceremoniously, he dropped the wood, letting it fall in a heap at his feet. He crouched, picking up two of the logs and tossing them on the now smoldering embers.

Seizing the moment, Taryn moved as slowly as she could, one inch at a time, careful not to make a sound. Once standing, she launched herself at the man, dagger out and ready. Her hands wrapped around his neck and her legs curled around his waist. She squeezed as hard as she could.

It took him a moment to register the attack, but then his hands were clawing at her arms, trying to pull them off so he could breathe. He pried one hand off, and she used it to bring the hilt of her dagger down on his head. Before she could make contact with it, his beefy fingers snatched the weapon from her and flung it into the trees. She knew that he would be a formidable opponent, but she had underestimated just how well he would be able to anticipate her moves.

“Ye think that will work on me?” he mocked.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, the thought registered that the voice was vaguely familiar. It was like something out of a dream. But she didn’t have time to try to place it as the man stood and backed away from the fire. She clung to him, one arm still wrapped around his thick neck, the other hand clawing from his eyes. He spun quickly so that their backs were to the growing flames. In one swift motion, he bent and threw her over his head hard enough to dislodge her arm. She landed on the ground with a resounding thud that knocked the wind out of her.

It was then that the man stood, taking with her all of her thoughts and determination to fight. The light danced over his shadowed features, but it was enough for her to see his face. She would recognize him anywhere, even if it had been years, even if she was seeing him upside down.

He took advantage of the shock and placed a heavy boot on her midsection, pinning her to the ground. The humiliation of his actions snapped her out of it. She twisted, weaving her legs around his and rolled, forcing him to lose his balance. He tumbled to the ground beside her, grunting as he fell. All sense of victory vanished when he moved like lightning, rolling over her, his hands pinning her shoulders to the ground, his feet staking her thighs down.

His breath was warm on her cheek as he smirked. There was no playfulness, no sign of fond familiarity, though there was little question that he knew who she was.

“Took ye long enough to wake up. I had to carry ye half the day back to my horse.”

She sputtered, her thoughts racing. Nothing made sense. And she couldn’t seem to get her thoughts in order with him on top of her, pressing down on her like he was.

“James,” she breathed out.

She had given up hope a long time ago of ever being able to see him or Laura again. They had been her two favorite people in the world once upon a time and she had abandoned them, stealing his horse and leaving Laura in the dust. It was implausible that he had found her now. The hatred she saw brimming in his eyes made even less sense.

“Hello, Taryn,” he growled.

“What are ye doing? Why did y-ye take me? Why did ye attack me like that?”

He scoffed. She blinked, wanting to shield herself from the cold, burning anger he carried.

“Dinnae act so innocent. Ye cannae be so foolish as to nae ken that there is a hefty price on yer bonny head.”

With every word he spoke, Taryn understood less and less.

“Are ye… Does that mean ye are…” she stumbled. Frustrated, she sighed and spoke as bluntly as she could manage. “Does this mean ye are a bounty hunter now?”

As soon as the question was out of her mouth, she wished she could pull the words back in. James had always been a man of such strong character. He was never cruel, rarely angry, always offering a kind smile and a helping hand. It was too far-fetched to think that he had turned to such a slimy way to make a living.

She couldn’t discredit the fact that she had no idea what life was like in McGregor lands anymore, however. There was rarely any news, this far north, about her homeland. Still, she couldn’t believe that things had grown so desperate.

Instead of answering her, he huffed. In a flash, he was off her, yanking her up by the arm. It was as if her very presence irritated him beyond words. Everything about the situation was so unbelievable that Taryn stood unmoving as she tried to make sense of it all.

Despite her shocked state, James kept a firm grip on her upper arm as he dragged her towards his bags laid against a rock by the fire. He fished out a fresh rope and spun her, so her back was to him.

Wisdom would have prompted her to run, to make things harder for him. She should have been fighting as hard as she could to get away. Not standing still, letting him bind her wrists once more. He tugged on the rope hard, causing the rough fibers to dig into her raw skin once more. Taryn winced but said nothing, waiting for him to explain just what was going on.

“Do as I say, when I say it, how I say it; stay quiet and dinnae make this harder than it needs to be,” he ordered, turning her back so he could glare down at her.

When had he gotten so tall?

“I ken it is nae yer strong suit, but ye must be obedient. If ye do this, ye will get food, water, and warmth. If ye dinnae, I will let ye starve. And dinnae,” he emphasized the word with a grip on her arm, “try to escape me again. Next time, I will nae be so gentle.”

Her eyebrows shot up. If slamming her onto the ground was his idea of gentle, she dreaded to find out how much worse it could get. Her entire back felt sore and bruised, her wrists burning, and the top part of her arm was threatening to bloom into black spots where his fingertips were digging into her.

She winced again and this time, he saw it. Just as quickly as he had grabbed her, he let her go. His eyes shifted from vitriol to guilt, but it lasted for only a moment before they hardened again.

“All right, James,” she said softly. “I will do as ye say.”

Satisfied with her acceptance, he nudged her towards the fire, and with a firm hand on her shoulder, made her sit. He knelt beside her and threw another log onto the fire, stoking it bigger and bigger.

“Why have ye done this?” she tried again, keeping her voice soft and calm so as not to rouse his anger. “Does Laura ken what ye planned? Does she ken ye have come after me?”

As soon as her friend’s name was out of her mouth, James bit back a growl. He did not answer once again, opting to instead focus on making them some food. He pulled out some dried meat for them to munch on as he mixed the batter for the oatcakes. Once the flames were tall enough, he placed a thin, smooth rock over one side of the fire and poured the mixture over it. She watched him curiously, wondering when he learned to cook. Every so often, he would poke at the food with his stick.

Unabashedly, she studied his face. He had grown and changed so much in the years since she had last seen him. Their time together in the forest that day, as he taught her how to shoot an arrow, came to mind. Her cheeks flushed, and her stomach twisted, as it always did when she thought of that day.

His hair was the same chestnut brown, still clipped close to his skull, though it was a haphazard job rather than the clean, sure cut that Laura always managed to do for him. There was a thin pink line running through his proud chin that had not been there before, and another scar on his forehead, near his eyes. Those had not changed. They were the same piercing shade of green. She had once thought the world of those eyes; now she was less certain about their kindness.

Seeing as she had failed twice now to get any answers out of him about his actions, she tried a different line of questioning, hoping to start some sort of conversation.

“What happened to my horse?”

“Ye mean the one ye stole from me three years ago?”

The accusation, while true, still felt harsh. Laura had promised that James would understand why she had taken it. Technically speaking, it had been Laura who stole the beast and given it as a gift to Taryn. Clearly, James was not as understanding or forgiving as they had both hoped.

“Aye,” Taryn agreed softly.

“She ran away,” he said with a sigh. “She never did like me much. Seems as though she was much better suited too ye to have stayed with ye all this time.”

“She kept me safe on more than one occasion, aye.”

It was a hidden kind of admission. Some part of her hoped that James would be shocked or at the very least concerned about the dangers Taryn had faced after her escape. But he gave no indication that he so much as cared.

“We will have to ride together. Dinnae fash. I was able to replace that mare with a true stallion. He will be able to carry both of us without problem.”

He had misunderstood the worried look that had crossed Taryn’s face as soon as he announced they would have to ride together. She wasn’t concerned about the horse being able to carry their combined weight. She simply couldn’t fathom having to sit that close to James for who knows how long, with only his anger for company.

“Where are we going?” she tried again, needing to prepare herself for just how long of a ride this might be.

It would be a tedious trip if they were going back to her uncle’s castle and McGregor land. She dreaded the thought of seeing her parents again. She could already imagine their disappointed faces. And then struck an even more terrifying thought had had her pleading with James before she could think about the words she was saying.

“Please, dinnae take me to the English. The Baron is a brutal man. He will kill me if ye take me to him.”

James’ jaw clenched. A vein popped out along the sharp bone, pulsing with barely contained fury.

“Please James. I ken that I have let everyone down by leaving, but surely ye dinnae wish for me to die.”

He grunted but said nothing. Busying himself with the oatcakes instead, he slid the food off the hot rock and onto a worn handkerchief. She couldn’t tell between the dancing firelight and the frayed, brown color of the linen, but it looked eerily similar to the same one she had given him as a Christmas gift the year she left.

“Here. Eat. Wash it down with that.”

Before she could argue, James shoved the wrapped oatcake into her lap and tossed his canteen at her feet. The water sloshed noisily against her boots, but Taryn made no move to do either. She didn’t even bother pointing out that she had no way of following his orders with her hands still tied painfully behind her back.

“I will nae eat until ye tell me where ye are taking me. I deserve to ken what ye plan to do with me, at the verra least.”

She balled her hands into fists and stared back at him, her expression full of defiance. But when he turned to glower at her, her false bravado trembled, as did her lower lip.

“Ye dinnae deserve anything,” he spat. “Especially nae from me. Ye want to be stubborn? Fine, dinnae eat. I dinnae care.”

Without giving her the chance to respond, he ripped the food and water back, putting them out of sight by his side. She sputtered and he kept moving.

“Ye were always a spoiled, ungrateful brat. Never kent when to keep yer mouth shut. Never thought about other people and what they might need. One way or another, Taryn, ye are going to have to learn yer lesson, and I have nay problem being the one to teach ye.”

He stamped out the fire with his boots, taking his anger out on the smoldering embers until they were a faint red.

“We leave at first light. I suggest ye try to sleep before then.”

Taking his own advice, James spread out across the blankets he had laid down beside the fire and closed his eyes. Taryn knew he wasn’t asleep yet, just as she knew he wasn’t going to say another word to her for the rest of the night.

She let out a deep sigh of resignation. It was a tricky thing to ease herself to the ground with her arms still tied behind her. Ultimately, she settled for leaning against the tree and sliding down it until she made it to the cold forest floor. She was too far away from the fire to feel any of its residual warmth. It wasn’t long before she was shivering, willing the sun to rise soon.

The longer she laid there, the faster her thoughts moved and the colder her fingers grew. It seemed implausible that James would have turned into such a man. He had always been someone she admired greatly, someone she had trusted—at times even more than herself. And now, he was her captor, leaving her to freeze at night, wrists bound and bleeding, stomach aching with hunger.

Her chest nearly cleaved in two as she wrestled to come to terms with it all. She grimaced, thinking of how Laura and Isobel might have reacted to seeing James turn into this kind of man. Worst of all, she hated knowing that she was going to have to find a way to escape the one man she had spent her entire life thinking was safe.

“So much for that,” she whispered bitterly.

Taryn let her eyes drift shut as she willed warmth to her fingertips. While escaping was her only way out, she knew she would have to bide her time. James might have changed in the last three years, but he was just as clever and insightful as he had always been. Though she had changed too, it seemed as though he had retained his ability to read her mind. So she would have to wait. And if there was one thing Taryn was good at, it was waiting for the right moment to strike.