The Interview Kachelle Lewis

I sat nervouslyoutside of the building where I was scheduled to have a meeting today. I couldn't believe that I was doing this. At thirty years old, love didn't seem to be my friend, and a traditional marriage didn't seem to be in the cards for me. The crazy thing is, I wanted love. I wanted the kids and to marry my best friend. I wanted to grow old with someone.

I wanted it all.

The dating pool was shallow and infested with trash these days. I'd gone on blind dates. I'd done dating sites. I'd done the good old fashion way of approaching a man my damn self. As I sat outside of this building, I figured since none of that worked, this was a last resort.

A matchmaking service.

This wasn't just any matchmaking service. They specialized in cultivating long-lasting relationships with a twist. Soliciting their services wasn't for those looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. When you committed to the process, you walked away knowing that the first time you met your mate, it was going to be at the altar.

Arranged Hearts was founded by a couple who went through a matchmaking service themselves to find love. Their website stated that they paired couples on the basis of compatibility. I was a little worried about that. I wasn't sure a questionnaire or interview could accurately capture the qualities I was searching for in a man.

Then again, I'd done a horrible job of that myself. What could it hurt to have someone else pick my love interest? They were professionals. The success rate and testimonials proved they knew a lot about what they were doing.

Taking a deep breath, I climbed out of my car and headed inside. I gave my name to the receptionist, and she let me know that I would be called back shortly. As I sat in the waiting room, I looked around. I wondered what the story was behind these people being here, too.

Had love gone wrong for them? Had they been heartbroken? Was this the final resort for them as well? My family thought I was crazy to go through with this. My mother had called me right before I pulled into the parking lot to see if I'd changed my mind. She begged me to reconsider. My mind was made up, however.

This was my life and my decision. I was doing this.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my name being called.

"Kachelle Lewis!"

I took a deep breath and stood to my feet. The woman holding the door open greeted me with a smile.

"Right this way, Ms. Lewis."

"Thank you."

I followed her down a long hallway. We came to a stop in front of a door labeled with the name Kelcy Wright. After a soft tap on the door, she turned the knob and pushed it open.

"Mrs. Wright, your ten o'clock is here."

Behind the desk sat a beautiful black woman. She looked like a human Barbie doll, and her smile matched.

"Thank you, Amber," she said, standing.

Amber nodded. She placed a hand gently on my shoulder. "Good luck!"

I offered her a nervous smile as she walked away. Kelcy came around to greet me.

"It's so nice to meet you, Kachelle. Please, come on in and have a seat."

I stepped into the office and sat in the chair in front of her desk. She reclaimed her seat, looking at me curiously.

"Are you nervous?" she asked.

I slumped in my seat. "Is it obvious?"

She giggled. "A little. If you weren't nervous, I'd be worried. This is a big step and a huge commitment. How are you feeling about it?"

"Aside from nervous… I'm hopeful. I feel like this might be a good option. Crazy, maybe even insane, but good."

"I can admit when I did it, I thought it was crazy too. But then I met my husband, and I've never been loved, cared for, or understood the way I am with that man. It works when you put the work in. This is far beyond looks. This is rooted in compatibility, deep connection, understanding, respect, and acceptance. Those are a few of the major things that make a relationship of any kind work."

She pulled out a legal pad and a pen. Sitting back, she crossed her legs and placed it on her knee.

"First thing, I'd like your permission to record this session. The playback will be used in the matching process."

"Of course."

"Great." She pressed record on the camera. "I like to start off my sessions with getting to know a little about my clients. It makes matching you a little more accurate. So, tell me a little about you."

I took a deep breath. "Well, I'm thirty. I am the youngest of two, with an older sister. My parents have been married for forty years, and I think they are the epitome of black love. Um… I own and operate a dental office for kids called Superhero Smiles. Every Friday, we dress up as superheroes, and if the kids dress up too, they get a discount on services."

Kelcy smiled. "That's adorable. I take it you love children?"

"I do. I feel like one of my purposes in life is to be a mother. It was my plan to be married and have my first kid by twenty-five." I dropped my head and chuckled. "My mother always told me, if you wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans."

Kelcy giggled. "Mine said the same thing. How many children would you like?"

"At least three. I don't care what they are, as long as they are happy and healthy."

"Exactly. May I ask how your family feels about you doing this?"

I blew a breath. "Whew! They don't understand my reasonings. They've offered to set me up on blind dates or introduce me to someone. I've been down that road, and it was horrible. My mother begged me not to go through with it. She's convinced that I'm going to end up on an episode of First 48. I've told her you guys do thorough background checks, but she's just a little paranoid."

"That's completely understandable. My family wasn't happy with my decision, but after they met and got to know my husband, I swear they like him more than me now."

I smiled as I nervously rubbed my hands. "Can I ask you something… it's kind of personal."

"Go right ahead."

"How did you combat your differences while you were getting to know each other?"

"Lots of communication. We actually did therapy for the first year of our marriage. It's a lot to take on marrying a stranger, Kachelle. You're still getting to know each other. You don't know what sets them off. You haven't seen them in different seasons of life, so you don't know what to expect. A relationship without communication and mutual respect is a recipe for disaster."

I nodded in agreement. "You're right about that. I love the idea of therapy. It shows real commitment."

She smiled. "That's what this is all about. You aren't just committing to your spouse. You are committing to a life with them. Life has its ups and downs. It's so easy to give up. I have to assume if you took this route to find love, you're willing to do the work."

"I am."

"Good. That's what I like to hear. Now that I know a little about you, let's jump into this questionnaire. These are six of what we feel are the most important questions to ask. I need detailed answers, no vague statements. Remember, this isn't just a blind date. You are trying to connect and fall in love with your husband."

"I understand."

"Are you ready?"

I sat up straight. "I am."

"Alright. First question. What are the most important values you look for in a partner?"

"That's easy. Honesty, integrity, and respect. I'd like a man with emotional intelligence. Someone who knows how to express his emotions in a healthy manner. I don't like to yell or argue, and I refuse to have my husband belittle me when he's upset. I'd like a man that is independent with ambition and motivation. I know life gets hard, but you fail the moment you give up. Um… let's see… responsible, supportive, creative, and financially stable. He doesn't need to be rich, but he needs to be responsible with what he has."

I watched as she scribbled on her legal pad quietly. I prayed I didn't come off as a woman who required too much. It wasn't that I required a lot; there were just things I didn't believe in settling for.

Kelcy looked back up with a smile. "Next question. How important is physical intimacy in your relationship? By that I mean sex."

I blushed. "I knew that was coming. I think it's very important. One of my love languages is physical touch. I love the intimacy behind kisses, holding hands, hugs, and cuddles. Sex… I feel like sex is a combination of all of those. It's the most intimate act you can share with someone. I want a man that can learn my body and how to please me without needing direction. I'm an unselfish lover, and it would be nice if my mate was the same."

Again, she scribbled on the notepad before looking back at me. "How would you describe your ideal first date?"

"I think… someplace intimate where we can talk and get to know each other. I would also be interested in somewhere fun to break the ice. I think everyone loves a good laugh. For me, if you can make me laugh, it makes me relax around you. I don't have to be so up in arms or nervous with you."

Kelcy smiled. "I like that. Okay, we already discussed children, but I do have a follow-up. What are your views on child-rearing?"

"My parents never spanked me. I lost privileges after they spoke with me about my behavior. They always spoke to me with love and respect. That would be my parenting style. I don't ever want to hit my kids to get my point across. I want them to respect me, not fear me."

"Perfect. Now, this is a very personal question. Some people don't like to answer it, but in reality, it can make or break a relationship. Are you religious? If so, how important is it that your partner believes the same as you?"

"I would say, I'm more spiritual than religious. I believe in God, but I don't go to church every Sunday. I pray. I give thanks, and I always try to put good back into the world. That could be me volunteering at a homeless shelter, donating to charity, or going in my own pockets to help someone in need. I would like a partner that shares those values in some aspect. They can be of a different religion as long as our values regarding our fellow brothers and sisters are similar."

"I like that. Now, last thing. Give me your most important physical attributes."

"Well, as a dentist, I'm a sucker for a beautiful smile. I don't really have a preference for ethnicity or body type. I'm pretty open on that front. He can have hair or be bald, but if he does have hair, it needs to be maintained. I like a man who takes pride in his appearance because I take pride in mine. Um… I love a man that smells good. It's like an aphrodisiac or something."

Kelcy giggled as she scribbled on her notepad. "I can agree with you there. I steal my husband's clothes just so I can smell him all day. Anyway! This was a great start. I have a few more questions, but with these answers, I'm positive I can find you a suitable mate. Be mindful that this process can take a while. We won't match you with the first person we see. There are several matches, and we narrow it down to the person that we feel is best for you. You have to trust us. We don't have a ninety-seven percent success rate for nothing."

I smiled and nodded. I was hopeful and would trust the process, but in the back of my head it thought, "Lord, don't let me be in that other three percent."