Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Abby

My mind is wandering as I look out the window of the bedroom where I spend most of my time these days. Maks set me up with a desk and computer in the room next door so I can actually get some work done when the kids are cooperating, but I miss everything about my life before Maksim came and turned everything upside down.

I don’t begrudge meeting him, though. Not even a little. Without him, I wouldn’t have these four precious angels in my life, and they mean more to me than anything.

Still, it’s telling that things were actually easier when it was just me and the kids. I might have been sleep-deprived and felt like a milking station most days, but at least I didn’t have to worry about people ransacking the office and trying to kill me.

I exhale a long breath and let the curtain fall back into place as I step away from the window. There’s really no use moping about what my life could have been or should have been anymore. This is what it is now, and I just have to find a way to make the best of it.

At least the sex is good. Like, really good.

My cheeks flush at the memory of just how many times he’s made me come over the past few days. Too many to count, and it’s been a long time since I could say that.

I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say that, now that I’m thinking about it.

But does the sex matter when I’m not sure if we actually have a future together? If this whole dangerous situation ended tomorrow and I could go back to my old, normal life with the kids and the foundation and Maggie, would I want to? Would I miss him?

Would he even let me leave?

I don’t have the answers to any of those questions. All I know is that the longer I think about it, the more questions I have.

I pace back and forth in the small room for a few seconds, then exhale again. I can’t stay cooped up in here all day. I just can’t. The babies aren’t even awake right now to distract me.

After checking on them one more time just to make sure, I back quietly out of the room and pull the door closed behind me. I might not be able to go anywhere, but this is a big, old house—a mansion, really—and there are plenty of nooks and crannies I haven’t had a chance to explore yet.

It seems silly, but I feel almost like a kid sneaking around a haunted house, peeking into the rooms as I make my way down the hall.

Most of the rooms are just empty, dusty bedrooms that have probably not been used since Maks was a kid. Or maybe not even then.

Finally, I find a room that actually looks like it’s being used. A large leather chair sits in front of a giant television, and there are shelves of DVDs lining the walls. Some of them are actual physical discs, but there are plenty of other movies and shows streaming from a large server.

I’ve been cooped up so long that just the sight of all those movies and shows makes me smile. Over on one of the shelves are some old pictures, all in simple but elegant gold frames. There’s a beautiful woman and a tall, handsome man from what must have been the sixties, judging by their clothes. Maksim’s parents? Then another of two young boys, their arms slung over each other’s shoulders as they smile for the camera.

“You’ve found the family photos, hm?” Nadia’s voice startles an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak from my throat as I turn to face her.

“Oh, sorry. I was just, um…” There’s really nothing I can say, is there? “I guess maybe I was snooping a little,” I confess, my cheeks heating up as the older woman smiles. “These are pictures of Maksim’s family?”

“Da,” she says, pointing to the photo of the boys I was just looking at. “That’s Maks and my dearest Sasha there.”

I smile. “They really did look like brothers, didn’t they?”

“Everyone said that.” Her voice takes on a melancholy tone, and I wonder if she’s remembering the loss. “They were closer than any brothers I have ever seen.”

“I bet.” I look at the pictures, feeling a pang of sadness for her. For her son. For Maks and a whole lifetime of memories he never got to make with Sasha.

“I can’t imagine how much you must miss him.” The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them, and I immediately wince. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Nyet, don’t apologize.” She smiles again, and I notice her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I miss him every day, even after all this time. But life goes on, doesn’t it? We can’t stop just because the people we love are gone.”

“I suppose not,” I agree, looking at the photos again.

The sound of a door slamming somewhere in the house makes both of us jump, and while my first thoughts are of my kids—hoping they’re still sleeping, hoping they’re safe—I also wonder who is slamming doors and stomping through the house in the middle of the day.

“I should get back to work.” Nadia hurries out of the room and I’m left peeking around the corner, expecting to see Maks come stomping up the stairs.

Instead, I look over the railing and see one of his guys, Alyosha, stalk through the foyer to Maks’s downstairs office. A minute later, Maks, Lev, and someone I don’t recognize enter follow through the front door and follow Alyosha straight to the office as well.

I should go back to my room. I should check on my babies. I definitely shouldn’t do any more snooping.

But I seem to be having a hard time talking myself out of all the things I shouldn’t do these days.

Tiptoeing down the stairs, I move closer to the closed office door and press myself against the wall so I’m out of sight, but can still barely make out their raised voices.

“Not a high-value target,” I hear one of them say.

“Lucky we caught him, though,” someone else, maybe Lev, joins in.

“Bastard put up a hell of a fight,” a third voice grumbles.

But Maks’s unmistakable deep, rumbling voice is the clearest of all. “See how tough the motherfucker is when we break his fucking kneecaps and start chopping off his fingers.”

I gasp, clapping a hand over my mouth to keep quiet. Oh my God. I don’t know who they’re talking about, but it’s obvious they plan on torturing someone they’ve captured.

Is it someone they’ve kidnapped? Is it a member of a rival family? God, how have I managed to get myself caught up in all this?

And why am I still here?

The reality of Maksim’s situation, of his life, rolls over me in that moment. I keep letting myself forget the violence of his line of work, lulling myself with fantasies and all the softness he shows me. But I can’t let myself forget, I need to remember it always. For the sake of my babies.

Their voices seem to be coming closer and I can hear another set of footsteps echoing down the long hallway to my right. I need to get out of here. If they catch me eavesdropping on them…I don’t even want to think about what might happen. I don’t think Maks would hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway.

I sure as hell don’t want to put that theory to the test, though, and I head straight to my room before anyone can find me where I shouldn’t be.