Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Abby

I’m never alone anymore. It’s one of the double-edged swords that comes with being a single parent to four babies. The babies are sleeping right now, though, so I’m taking one of the rare opportunities to slip away and shower.

The adjoining bathroom is simple but surprisingly luxurious. This whole house is old and needs some repairs, but it’s obvious it was the height of luxury at one time. With marble tiles and an enormous claw-footed tub, this bathroom is a throwback to that time. I can’t risk taking too long in the tub this morning, though, so I reluctantly bypass it for the shower instead. Which is still nice enough, with one of those huge shower heads and a bench to the side where it’s actually really easy to sit and shave my legs.

I turn on the hot water and give it a few seconds to heat up, then step underneath the big shower head and close my eyes. God, this feels good. I sort of remember the pre-motherhood days when a shower didn’t feel like a luxury, but those memories are a little fuzzy. Now, the ability to wash the day’s grime and sweat off my body is like a reward for surviving another twenty-four hours.

I lean back against the cool tile and close my eyes, letting the rivulets of warm water run down my body. It’s so steamy and relaxing that it doesn’t take long for one of my hands to find its way to my breast, gently squeezing and massaging the tender flesh.

My nipples are especially sensitive these days, and I can’t resist tweaking one between my thumb and forefinger, gasping at the sensation. My other hand slides lower until it’s between my legs, gently slipping between my folds. The familiar ache starts building inside me, but it’s not nearly enough. I need more.

I know I don’t have much time, but I can’t help myself. This might be the only few minutes of privacy I get all day, and I need this release. I need it like I need air. So I keep rubbing myself, imagining it’s someone else’s hands on me.

No, not just someone. Maksim’s hands. His strong, muscular hands on me, touching me, exploring every inch of my skin. I can almost feel his lips on mine, kissing me passionately while he plays with my nipples and works his way down to my clit.

My fingers pick up speed, and I’m getting lost in the fantasy. I moan his name, arching my back and sucking in a sharp breath as the cool tiles contrast with the hot water. He always knows just how to touch me, just what to say to make me lose control.

“God, Maks,” I whimper, feeling the wave of pleasure starting to crest. I’m already so close.

Will we ever be able to be intimate again? Will I trust him enough to touch me like this? Like he did that night when we were first together?

I already know the answer to that question.

He might be dangerous. He might be in the mafia. He might even be a murderer, even though he insists he wasn’t the one who killed Booker.

But he’s also a father. A son. A friend. A kindhearted man who has donated a hell of a lot of money to a cause that’s near and dear to my heart. Are all of those good qualities enough to overcome the bad ones?

Do I trust him enough to be a father—a real, present, engaged father—to our four babies?

“Yes,” I gasp, not sure if I’m answering myself or just lost in my own fantasy. My eyes fly open and my fingers work furiously between my legs, slipping in and out of me so quickly that my hips buck as if they have a mind of their own. “Oh God, yes. Maks.”

I’m not ready for this high to end, not ready to leave this warm water, so I keep my fingers moving. In and out, in and out, faster and faster. I bite my lip, trying not to cry out and alert anyone else in the house to my activities.

“Oh, oh God!” I can’t help it. This orgasm is intense, and it washes over me, making me gasp and shake. My legs are weak, so I lean against the wall for support as the tremors begin to fade.

After quickly soaping myself off, I finally turn off the water and step out of the shower, grabbing the nearest towel. My limbs are still shaky, but there’s a smile on my face that wasn’t there before.

It’s been a while since I’ve done that, since I’ve let myself have that kind of release. Now I need to go back to reality.

When I come out of the bathroom, the babies are awake. They’re not crying, which is a small blessing, but they’re making the sounds that usually precede wailing. It’s almost as if they can sense my absence, and it tugs at my heartstrings.

I scoop them up, one by one, and cuddle them in my arms for a few minutes before moving to the next.

“I’m here, I’m here,” I whisper, stroking their tiny heads and holding them close.

As soon as they feel the warmth of my body against theirs, their cries subside, and they snuggle closer.

“I’m here, little ones,” I murmur again, my voice soft and reassuring. “Mama’s here.”

It’s sometimes amazing to me how quickly I transformed from a young woman who wasn’t anywhere near ready to have kids, to Mama.

That’s who I am now. These babies are a part of me. They’re a part of us.

I’ll protect them with everything I have.

***

My cheeks flush when Maksim steps inside my room a little while later. I’m sitting in a chair by the window, and I’ve just finished feeding the babies. I know he has no idea what I might’ve been thinking or fantasizing about in the shower this morning, but I can still feel a warm tingle between my legs when his green eyes lock onto mine.

“Do you have a minute?” he asks, keeping his voice low as he looks over to the cribs against the wall. “Are they sleeping?”

I smile. “Your timing is impeccable, as usual. Their little bellies are full and I think they’ve all settled down for a nap. Why? What’s the matter?” I can tell by his tone and the way he’s frowning that something must be wrong, and my mind automatically starts to wander to a million different bad scenarios, each worse than the one before. “Is Maggie okay?”

“Your sister is fine.” He pauses to clear his throat and walks over to sit in the chair across from me. “I’m going to tell you something, but I need you to stay calm. Don’t freak out on me, okay?”

This isn’t helping my anxiety at all. My eyes grow wide and my heart is racing as I imagine the worst. “What happened? Oh God, did somebody else get hurt? Was there an accident?”

“No, no,” he says, shaking his head. “Everyone is safe. Your sister is fine. Her babies are fine. But,” he pauses again and takes a deep breath, “Maggie’s office was vandalized last night.”

“What?” My hand flies to my mouth as I gasp in shock. “Oh my God, why? Was it a robbery?”

He shakes his head. Even though he told me to stay calm, there’s no way I can miss the way his teeth are clenched or the fact that his hands have balled into fists on the armrests of his chair. “The building was empty, thank fuck. Whoever it was broke into the building, destroyed a bunch of furniture and computers, and stole some files.”

“Are the police investigating?” My mind is racing with questions and I’m not even sure which ones to ask first. “Can they trace who did it? Are there any suspects?”

“The police are doing their thing, but we have our own investigators looking into it,” he replies, his tone grim.

I’m trying to make sense of a senseless situation, and he isn’t giving me a lot to work with. “I don’t understand. Who would rob us? We’re a charity. We help people.” I shake my head. “Do you think it has something to do with Booker?”

“Maybe.” Maksim rubs a hand over his face and sighs. “Nobody was hurt, so it’s hard to say what their reason was, but someone is clearly trying to send a message.”

“Message received.” I look over at my sleeping babies and start to shake. I have to blink back tears when I think of how close I’ve come to being separated from them. First the guys who tried to shoot me in the park, and now this? It’s too much. “This is crazy,” I say, the tears welling up and spilling down my cheeks in spite of my best efforts. “You get that, right? This life you live, this situation you’ve put me in, it’s all crazy. And now I have to worry about Maggie getting hurt, too.”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Maksim gets up and comes to kneel in front of me, his big hands gently holding my face. “I’m sorry, Abby. I know how much this has all shaken you. But I promise, nothing is going to happen to you or Maggie or your babies.” His gaze is so intense, his words coming from somewhere deep inside his soul. I have no doubt he believes everything he’s saying.

“It’s not fair.” My lower lip trembles. “We didn’t ask for any of this. Why is it happening to us?”

“You don’t deserve it,” he agrees, brushing the hair from my face and tucking it behind my ears. “That’s why I’m here, sweetheart. To protect you.”

“I’m not even sure you can,” I blurt out, immediately feeling guilty for the words. He’s doing his best, but the reality is that our lives are both so complicated and dangerous right now. “I’m sorry,” I add, shaking my head and wiping away a tear. “That’s not fair.”

“I can,” he promises. His eyes lock on mine, and I know he’s telling the truth. He’s not going to let anything happen to me or my family. “You don’t have to worry anymore. I’ve got this.”

“Okay.” My voice cracks as the tears threaten to overwhelm me again. “But how can you be sure?”

“Because I have more resources than the police, and I won’t stop until I find out who did this,” he replies, his eyes dark with determination.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. It’s a good answer. Not a guarantee, but it’ll have to do for now. “I don’t really have any choice but to trust you for now, do I?”

“No, sweetheart, you don’t.” He smiles sadly, his thumb brushing across my cheek. “But maybe one day you’ll trust me on your own.”

I’m reminded again of all the things I feel for him when he’s not around, and how those feelings are only intensified when he’s close to me like this.

I want to trust him. I want to be with him. I just don’t know what to think anymore.

“I need to call Maggie,” I say, pushing those other thoughts aside to deal with the situation at hand. “I need to hear her voice. I need to know for sure that she’s okay.”

He stands up and I expect him to argue, but he simply walks to the dresser and grabs my phone from where it’s charging, handing it to me. “Call her.”

“Really?”

“Really. You two are close. I know she’s probably freaking out too, wondering how you’re handling the news. Call her.”

“Thank you.” The gesture is small, but it means a lot to me.

He nods and steps out of the room, giving me some privacy. When the door closes, I dial my sister’s number and hold my breath as the phone rings.

“Oh my God, Abby! I’m so glad you called.”

“Are you okay?” I ask, my heart pounding.

“Yes, yes,” she assures me. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Did the police call you?”

“Yes, and they went by the house this morning.”

“And they didn’t tell you anything?”

“Nothing new. They said they were still investigating, but that they didn’t have any suspects yet.”

“I’m worried,” I admit, glancing over at the babies’ cribs.

“How are you holding up, sweetie? This is a lot to process.”

“I don’t know, honestly. It’s all just so overwhelming.”

“I bet,” she murmurs sympathetically. “Are the babies okay?”

“They’re perfect,” I say, my eyes filling with tears again. “God, Maggie, I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you or them or any of us.”

“Nothing is going to happen,” she says. “Maksim has security at his safehouse, and at least two men with me at all times. He says he’ll have some guys watching our office, too. He’s been a big help, honestly. Surprisingly.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you trust him?” she asks, her tone hopeful. “Is he treating you well?”

“I do trust him,” I answer hesitantly, even though I’m still trying to convince myself. “And yes, he is treating me well. The babies, too.”

“Good, because I need you to stay calm and do whatever he says,” she continues, her voice firm. “We’re not taking any chances.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it, Abby.” Her tone is serious now, and I know she means business.

“I understand,” I say, feeling a little better now that I’ve heard her voice and we’ve had a chance to talk.

“Call me anytime, okay?” she reminds me. “And if you need anything, let Maksim know.”

“I will,” I promise, glancing at the closed door. “I’ll let him know.”

“Good. Keep me posted, sweetie. Love you.”

“Love you too, Maggie.”

We hang up, and I sit back, taking a deep breath. Hearing my sister’s voice has calmed me down a bit, and I’m glad she’s safe and doing well.

But the nagging questions are still there, circling around my brain.

What happened? Who did this? And why would they target us?

***

I never thought it would be so nice to have a man helping me with the babies, but there’s something special about seeing Maksim with his kids.

He shoots me an exhausted look as we put the last two down for the night in their cribs. “Is it always so chaotic at bedtime? And dinnertime?”

I laugh, nodding. “And lunchtime, and when they wake up in the morning. Pretty much anytime two or more of them are awake, so always.”

He shoves a hand back through his hair and grins, shaking his head. “Crazy to think they’re all going to be talking soon, and walking, and getting into trouble.”

Just the thought almost gives me a panic attack. I want my babies to grow up and experience all the wonderful things in the world, of course. But the thought of the four of them running around where I can’t always keep an eye on them? Getting into trouble? Dating, for God’s sake?

I can’t deal with all that. They need to all stay tiny and precious and right here within reach.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks softly, his brow furrowing with concern as he leans against the wall by the window, looking at me. “You look like you’re thinking something heavy.”

“I’m okay,” I promise him, offering a smile. “Just… I don’t know, I guess it’s hard not to think about the future and wonder what it’s going to be like.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, nodding slowly. “I get it.”

I can tell by his expression that he’s not just saying that. He means it. He understands the stress and fear of the unknown. He’s right there with me.

“Can I ask you something, Abby?” His eyes are suddenly serious, his jaw clenched as if he’s working up the courage to say whatever’s on his mind.

“Of course.” I try to sound nonchalant, but I’m already nervous about what he might say.

“How long are we going to keep dancing around this?” He pushes off from the wall and takes a step closer, his eyes locked on mine. “I know things are crazy right now, but…”

I bite my lip, feeling the electricity between us as he moves closer. His words echo the thoughts that have been running through my own head for weeks.

“I know.” My voice is soft and a little shaky. “There’s just a lot to think about, a lot to figure out.”

“True.” He takes another step, and we’re only a few feet apart now. I can feel his heat, and it makes me shiver. “But, fuck, Abby, I still want you so badly.”

I inhale sharply as a rush of wet heat floods my core. “I still want you, too,” I admit, my cheeks flushing.

“So what are we going to do about it?” he murmurs, his eyes darkening with lust.

I have no idea, and that’s what makes me hesitate. The last time we slept together, it led to a situation that’s still playing out today. And not just the quadruplets.

“Abby.” His voice is a low rumble as he reaches for my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. “Do you know what kind of torture it is to have you staying under the same roof but not touching you? I’ve missed you.” He leans in close until I can feel his breath on my neck, and inhales. “Missed this.”

My knees are weak. I know if he keeps this up, there’s no way I’m going to be able to resist him. And honestly, I’m not sure I want to.

“Maks,” I breathe, my body aching for his touch. “I’m just…”

“Shh,” he whispers, pressing his lips against the sensitive skin just below my ear.

I shudder, my pulse racing. “I can’t,” I manage to choke out.

His kisses travel down my neck, sending shivers of pleasure through my body. “You can.”

My body is screaming yes, but my mind is a jumble of emotions. Fear, confusion, desire—it’s a messy cocktail that has me spinning.

“We shouldn’t.” My words come out as a whisper, barely audible.

“Why not?” he murmurs against my skin, his hands moving to grip my hips and pull me closer.

“Because,” I protest, even as I feel myself melting against him. “It’s complicated.”

“Maybe,” he concedes, his hands sliding down to cup my ass. “But we can figure it out.”

“Maksim,” I gasp as his mouth finds mine, kissing me deeply. My lips part, and his tongue slides into my mouth, exploring every inch.

He groans, pressing his hips against mine so I can feel his erection through his jeans. “God, Abby, I need you. Need this.”

My body is throbbing with need, and I know I can’t resist him any longer. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hungrily, our tongues battling for control.

“Fuck, Abby,” he growls, his hands roaming over my body. “You feel so fucking good.”

“So do you,” I moan, grinding my hips against him. “But not here. I don’t want to wake—”

He cuts me off with another kiss, his hands roaming down my back until he’s grabbing my ass and lifting me up off the ground. I gasp, breaking away from our kiss and burying my face against his shoulder to keep from laughing. “Where are you taking me? We really shouldn’t do this.”

“We probably shouldn’t,” he says, still carrying me out into the hallway and over to the bedroom next to mine. “But that’s how it is with most of the things I enjoy. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t resist.”

It’s hard to argue with that. We go into the bedroom and he shuts the door behind us before carrying me over to the bed. As he sets me down on the edge, I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a huge mistake.

But the feeling of his lips on mine, and the way his hands explore my body, makes it hard to care.

“We should be quiet,” I whisper between kisses. “Or you’re helping me put the babies back to sleep.”

“I can be quiet,” he promises, his fingers tugging at the hem of my shirt. “Can you?”

“I’ll try.” I help him pull the shirt over my head and toss it aside. My bra is next, and I can’t hold back a moan of pleasure as his hands cup my breasts, his thumbs stroking my nipples.

“God, Abby,” he groans, his voice a low rumble. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

“So are you.” I run my hands down his chest, then work them underneath his shirt so I can feel his bare skin. He shivers as I drag my nails over his back, pulling him closer.

Our kisses grow more passionate, our bodies pressed together as we explore each other.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, his hands roaming over my curves, his breath hot against my skin. “I’ve missed this, Abby. So much.”

“Me too.” I pull his shirt off and run my fingers through his hair, pulling him close for another kiss.

As our tongues dance together, I can feel his erection pressing against me. God, I need him inside me.

“Maks,” I pant, arching my back. “I want you. Please.”

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, trailing kisses along my jawline and down my neck.

His fingers find the button of my jeans, and he works it open before pulling the zipper down. I wiggle my hips, and he helps me pull them off. Once they’re off, I reach for the button of his jeans, fumbling a bit in my eagerness. He helps me undo them and pulls them down his legs, kicking them off.

As we lie back on the bed, our bodies bare and aching for each other, it feels like everything has fallen into place. Like we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be, at least for the moment.

“Are you ready?” he asks, his voice thick with lust.

“Yes,” I moan, wrapping my legs around his waist and pulling him close. “Please.”

“Fuck, Abby,” he growls, positioning his cock at my entrance. “You’re so fucking wet.”

“For you,” I whimper, digging my nails into his back. “Only for you.”

He kisses me, his tongue thrusting into my mouth as he eases himself inside me.

“Oh God,” I gasp, arching my back and pulling him deeper. “You feel so good.”

“So do you,” he murmurs, his lips moving to my neck and sucking gently.

Our bodies move together, our rhythm picking up as our pleasure builds.

“More,” I beg, my body aching for release.

He responds by thrusting harder, his hips rocking against mine as we lose ourselves in the moment.

“Oh God, Abby,” he groans, his teeth grazing my earlobe. “You’re going to make me come.”

“Yes,” I cry, clutching his shoulders. “Yes, Maks. Need it so bad.”

“Fuck,” he gasps, his body tensing as he reaches his climax.

I cling to him as my own orgasm hits, and we ride the waves of pleasure together.

As our bodies relax, and the euphoria fades, he kisses me gently, his lips lingering against mine.

“That was exactly what I needed,” he murmurs, grinning against my lips as he kisses me one more time. “Thank you, Abby.”

“Same here,” I reply, still breathing heavily. “It’s good to know that hasn’t changed, at least.”

“Definitely not,” he chuckles, rolling onto his side and wrapping an arm around my waist.

“But the rest,” I sigh. “All that’s still there, isn’t it?”

“It is.” His fingers trail along my stomach, drawing lazy circles over my skin. “And we’ll figure it out, Abby. I promise.”

“How can you be so sure?” I turn onto my side and look into his eyes. “How do you know that?”

“I don’t, not for sure,” he admits. “But I’m not willing to give up. Not without a fight.”

“I’m not giving up either.” I lean in and kiss him softly. “But we need to talk. There are so many things we need to figure out.”

“We will,” he assures me.