Chapter Four

The memorial is just a sea of condolences from everyone that has ever met Ginny, and I stand there, aware of Luca just a few steps away from me.

My father has already told me how I should be consoling Luca today, but I made the first move at the airstrip, and now he needs to show that he's willing to let me in.

I'm also still upset at the way the Baldinis treated me when all I was doing was offering to help them plan this day, which I was more than capable of doing.

Ginny and I had gone over how she wanted to be remembered and how she hoped her family would send her off. I probably had a lot more insight than any of the three of them.

Their excuse of me not being family hurt too. I"ve spent a lot of time planning how to, very soon, be a part of their family. I can't wait to see their faces when that plan works out, and they have to welcome me with arms wide open into the Baldini clan.

I've shown up to the mansion in my best black dress, knowing that their eyes are on me, but I'm used to that.

There's no dressing down when you're celebrating the life of a woman who used to be the trendiest person in town. And I know that this dress hugs my curves perfectly, because I caught Luca's gaze lingering on me as I entered.

Besides the Baldini siblings, I've spoken to almost every other person in this room. I've gotten to know quite a few of Ginny's friends, and being at the mansion every day meant that anyone who showed up for business also knew who I was.

The connections I've made in the last few months have made my father very happy, but they're still not enough for Enzo and Grazia to admit that I'm now a part of their inside world.

As I work my way through the crowd, so many people mention my time with Ginny and how much I meant to her.

"I heard you were the rock through all of it," says Maria, Ginny's oldest friend, as she places a gentle hand on my shoulder. I offer a small, appreciative smile, and thank her for her words of kindness.

Everyone who had spent time with Ginny lately had gotten to know me. I spent almost every day with the woman, only going home to sleep and shower.

It was easy, though. Ginny was a lovely woman to talk to, and her stories of Luca made it seem like he was still right there with us, not away on endless work for the family business.

"I did my best," I say to Maria, as one of Luca's cousins walks up and overhears us.

"From what I heard, Emelia," she says as she inserts herself into our conversation, "Ginny was incredibly grateful to have you here. We all know how much she hated having nurses fumbling around her, so it must have been a huge help to have someone she trusted to keep things in order."

Her voice is loud, and I'm pretty sure all of the Baldini siblings hear her, including Luca, but I keep my eyes on the two ladies and smile.

"Ginny was an amazing woman," I reply, a little louder than I need to. "I was lucky to have her influence in my life, and to get to spend so much time with her at the end of her life."

The women talk a bit more about Ginny, but I zone out and stop listening to what they're saying, my thoughts on Luca, and how I'm going to navigate things after today.

Eventually, I'm left alone again. I walk through the crowd, looking at Ginny's casket it"s surrounded by black lilies. There"s an extravagant shrine near the casket. There seem to be endless photographs documenting this woman's full life. This is a beautiful memorial. It's exactly what Ginny would have planned for herself. I know that Luca wouldn't have accepted anything less, though.

Overhearing snippets of conversations, I can hear how people are talking to Luca about how I supported and cared for his grandmother while he was away.

He glances over at me a few times, but I try my best not to show that I've noticed it at all. I want him to come to me this time. I know that he'll be seeking a distraction soon, and it's so much better for him if that distraction is me, rather than some sleazy girl at the family club.

I barely see or speak to Enzo and Grazia all day. I haven't outright avoided them, but I also haven't sought them out. It will take some time for my anger to dissipate, and they're much too busy to be making amends right now.

There was no one saying things like, "this is just family business", when I was helping out at the house and with Ginny. If their grandmother had been in that kitchen a week ago, I know she would have reprimanded all three of them right there for trying to exclude me from this day.

My father says I shouldn't hold a grudge, that grief does things to people, and I should forgive them. My father also prefers to kiss ass when it comes to the Baldinis. I, on the other hand, know my own worth.

I notice that people are beginning to leave, and the mansion starts to feel quieter, not completely in a good way. Lunch has lasted a good few hours, and the sun has already set outside.

Enzo announces he has to get his little family home, and Grazia says she's going to take a bubble bath to decompress. I make my way over to where Luca is standing, and we both say goodbye to the last of the lingering guests.

The cousins who are staying at the mansion excuse themselves to wind down for the evening as well. Everyone is just a bit tired from so many people and the emotions of the day.

Before long, it's just the two of us standing in the living room, and the staff members who are busy cleaning up after everyone.

I turn to Luca, and he looks down at me, his blue eyes looking a little watery, and still very tired. I wanted him to come to me, but looking at him now, I realize that's an unfair request from someone who is grieving as badly as he is.

I'll try one last time.

"Would you like to take a walk in the garden with me?" I ask.

The garden was Ginny's pride and joy. She spent many years making it a peaceful escape from the chaos that her family was involved in, and I remember helping her plant flowers and pull weeds as a child.

In her final days, Ginny would spend every morning in this garden, drinking her tea and soaking in the beauty around her.

Luca looks towards the garden and then back at me, seemingly weighing up whether or not he actually wants to. I think the idea of getting out of the mansion appeals to him, though, because he nods and turns to go outside.

As we step outside, I take Luca"s hand, and to my surprise, he doesn"t pull away. We walk down the little path that has solar lights showing us the way. I know that eventually, we'll get to the lookout house, which will give us complete privacy.

Ginny had the garden lookout house designed for efficiency and comfort. She wanted a place she could organize bouquets and view her garden safe from the weather. She brought in a yellow velvet couch years ago, it was her spot to relax and read away from family drama whenever she desired.

Once we reach the lookout, I pull Luca softly inside, "I love how you can see the entire garden from here." I say, as I stand at the window. The space is perfectly cozy.

We're still holding hands, and Luca has followed me willingly. As we stand looking out at the garden in silence, I feel his grip on my hand tighten, and I squeeze it back.

"I don"t know how to thank you," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. Inside, I'm glad he feels the need to thank me—it's more than his siblings have done. My father was right when he said eventually my acts of kindness for this family would be appreciated.

"You don"t need to. We"re family," I respond. I wait for him to dispute the family bit, telling me that I was just a friend, not even his friend but one of his sister's. He doesn't say anything.

I rub my thumb against his hand and move a step closer to him. He's not moving away from me, and I feel his guard slowly coming down, which is what I hoped would happen. This garden sure is a magical place, just like Ginny had hoped it would be.

He breathes in deeply, "She loved this place," he whispers, looking out at the garden. It's dark, but the moon is giving us just enough light to see the many flower beds, walking paths, and benches that Ginny placed all around the grounds.

She also had an obsession with lighting, so there are fairy lights strung around bird feeders and more solar lights poking out of the grass, giving the garden a magical kind of ambience.

"It almost feels like she's still here." And with that, his voice cracks, and silently he lets out the tears that he's been holding in all day—perhaps all week.

I release his hand and slip my arms around his waist, pulling him as close to me as I can. He's so much taller than me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and rests his cheek on my head, crying softly.

I keep my hold on him tight, letting him know that I'm not going anywhere, that his tears won't scare me away. His grip tightens as well, and I feel his body shake with sobs, but he's so quiet that if I wasn't holding onto him, I would barely know he's crying.

After a few minutes, I feel the sobs subside, and his body feels calmer, less tense. I pull back just slightly, looking up into his eyes. There's only the moonlight to illuminate his face, but I've memorized every inch of it already in my mind.

I can see him staring back into my eyes, his gaze causing a fluttering in my chest, and the air suddenly fills with a different kind of tension.

"Luca…" I say his name but it's barely a whisper. We don't break eye contact but his arms move lower down my back and he bends slightly, his face coming closer to mine.

I can feel his warm breath on me and can hear that it's faster, deeper. His hands on my back clench my dress, and in one smooth movement, he pulls my body right up against his and places his lips over mine, making me gasp with surprise.

As I taste his lips on mine, I think about all of the times I've already imagined this moment, and realize none of my fantasies could have come close to this.

The kiss starts slowly, almost hesitantly, and I match his speed so that I don't scare him off, but before long, he speeds up, kissing me harder and deeper.

I open my eyes for a second, I see that his are closed in enjoyment. His hands move up to hold my cheeks as he pulls my face even closer to his. His own cheeks are still slightly wet, and I can taste the aftermath of his salty tears on his lips.

I allow my eyes to close again, breathing in his smell, taking in the taste of him, trailing my hands up his back and onto his neck. All I have wanted for years was to kiss Luca Baldini, and even if this was a reaction to his emotional turmoil, I revel in the moment.

The kiss is almost sad at first, but after a while, it becomes more desperate, each of us hungry to fill a void — although I suspect his void is different from mine.

I clench his thick dark hair, feeling a wetness between legs caused by the kiss.

Luca Baldini has a hold on me, and I intend to get a hold right back on him.