Chapter 4

FOUR

Aydan

We find a bench beneath the shade of some trees just off the main road with the diner, a place that any dragon would have trouble spotting us from. From here, we can see the diner parking lot and the main road, but at least it feels a little private. I need privacy if I'm going to talk to her about something so important. Privacy is the least I need if I'm going to somehow make it through a conversation I've been terrified of having my entire life, and address the elephant in the room – the asshole gray dragon who might be dead but is still fucking up my life, somehow.

I take a deep breath and wipe my hands on my pants. My head gives a little throb, and I reach up to touch the significant bump, trying to avoid the big scar.

Sam frowns. "Let me see it."

I lean toward her, and she gently takes my head. A little gasp slips from her lips. "Aydan. You're an idiot. This needs to be seen by a doctor."

"It's fine," I tell her.

She sighs loudly and releases me. "You always say that, and you rarely are."

I almost smile. She knows me too damn well.

"You have to take care of yourself," she continues. "I know you think you're this big, bad mountain man, but you're only human."

She doesn't mean it to be an insult, but it is. Somehow, Sam has become something other than human. It's created a separation between us that I never thought possible. And in that fragile separation, a big gray dumbass dragon has wiggled in and made himself at home. I know she cares about him, but I'm having a hard time not hoping he's a carcass rotting in the woods somewhere.

"You're still human," I say, and I don't know why I need to remind her.

She gives a funny little smile. "Sort of. I mean, like how a blow job is sort of fun for a woman. A mouthful of cum and an aching jaw is just so much fun that women all over the world just love to give them and have the guy roll over and fall asleep like a lump of turds."

I blink at her slowly. "Still doing that, I see."

She laughs. "Can you blame me? This situation is weird. I'm a human, Aydan, but I'm also a giant scaly sky lizard. It's not a normal thing."

I can't help it. I smile. "Okay, it's weird."

"Thank you!" she says, throwing her hands up in the air. "I'm glad we're not tiptoeing around it anymore."

Unfortunately, this isn't the only subject we're not addressing, and I need to handle it now. When things are calm. When we're safe. When there's a cum bomb ticking, and I don't want Sam just throwing herself on the first thing with a dick.

"Are things with this Evander guy just about sex?"

Her amusement fades away. For a second I think she won't answer me, and then she says, "No."

It's like a punch to the gut. "Do you love him?"

Fuck. I don't want to hear this.

After a second, her tight grip around my heart loosens as she shakes her head. "No. It's not love. I don't even know if I like him as a human, but it's not just sex. It's like we're connected. Like, I can feel him, even now, and it hurts to be away from him." She looks up at me through her lashes. "It's a dragon thing. A complicated dragon thing."

I should be staggering from all the blows this woman is giving me. "How do you feel about me?"

Her brilliant green eyes widen in surprise. "Aydan, you know how I feel about you."

"Tell me."

She combs her curly red hair back behind one ear in a way I love. "You're my best friend. My family. I love you and Granger like I love my mom. It's like my heart isn't capable of loving anyone more."

I hesitate, then take a deep breath, unclenching my hands. "Is that all?"

Her gaze grows guarded and uncertain. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." I pause, then press on. "The other night at the institute. We almost had sex."

Her freckles darken as her skin pales. "We were drunk."

"Is that all it was about?"

She doesn't answer.

Fuck it. "It was about more than being drunk for me. I've wanted to do that for a long time."

Her lips part. Her mouth forms an O .

Here goes. Don't chicken out now.

"I don't want to lose you, Sam. If all we can ever be is friends, that's enough for me. But if there's any chance we can be more, that's what I want. What do you want?"

It takes her mouth a long time to close, and then she says, "How long have you felt this way?"

I don't hesitate. "Forever."

She laughs.

The sound sends a stab of pain right through my chest. I start to get up. I can't handle this. She can't laugh at me right now. She can't tell me I'm just a friend, but she'll be fucking some dragon dude while I watch.

She's on her feet in an instant, grabbing my arm. "Sit down!"

I keep walking, trying my best to ignore her until I can get far enough away from her to have a breakdown.

"It's been forever for me too."

I freeze. As I look down at her in surprise, some part of me feels like I misheard her. "Forever for what?"

She gives a tiny shrug. "Forever that I've liked you. Forever that I wanted to be something more than friends, but you never seemed interested. You always treated me like a kid sister. You couldn't even accept that guys found me attractive."

She likes me? She wants me the way I want her? The vice around my heart releases, and it's like I can breathe pure air for the first time in my life. This woman is everything to me. My very soul. And she actually feels the same way about me?

I struggle to find the words. "I could accept guys were interested in you, and I beat the shit out of them for it because I only wanted you to be with me."

She laughs, looking shocked. "Really? That's what it was about?"

"Pure and utter jealousy," I confirm, a need for her humming through me. "One thing you'll have to know about me is that I'm the possessive type."

I pull her closer. All I want to do is kiss her, but she stops me. Her face is unreadable. "You have no idea how happy this would've made me even a couple days ago, but I don't want to hurt you, Aydan."

Is she telling me no? No, after everything?

"Why would you hurt me?" I ask, running a hand along her cheek, trying to read her mind.

There's pain in her face. "Evander." I flinch, hating his name on her lips. "The dragon stuff. This isn't simple anymore. It's not like I can just take your hand, be your girlfriend, and forget all of this. Evander and I are something to each other."

It's like a knife twisting in my heart, but I can't show her how much that asshole being in her life hurts me. "I know. I don't like it. Not at all. But I get it."

She pulls away from me, looking small and vulnerable. "I don't know what to do. I can't hurt you. Hurting you is like hurting myself."

My mind starts to work. Logically, I understand that she needs things from this dragon-man that I can't give her. It's not just this weird bond between them. He offers protection in the sky against the green dragon. If he's still around, I'm going to have to accept that he's going to be in her orbit. Even if I'm still going to want to break his face for it.

But can I actually accept him?

I can't. For now. But she doesn't need to know that. The fucker could be dead for all I know, solving the problem of him completely.

"We don't have to talk about him," I tell her angrily.

"Don't we?" she asks, pleading with her eyes.

"He could be dead, so why waste our breath?"

She starts to leave. I snag her wrist, drawing her back. "Sorry. But you've said what you need to say. I heard you. Okay. We don't have to discuss him further."

She hesitates, but continues, "The thing is, when he comes back, I know it'll be hard for you to see us together. I can't even imagine being in your shoes, and I–"

"I can handle it. It'll be fine. Let's be done talking about this." The words come rushing out. It's painful, but I try not to show it.

Her expression is reluctant, but she says, "Okay."

I release a slow breath. A bird flies overhead, and she flinches, staring up at the sky in a panic. My stomach does a little flip when I think of how close Granger and I had come to being eaten by that green dragon in the car. It'd stalked closer and closer, only stopping feet from us and going in another direction, following a scent. Her scent.

"Sam, we need to do something about covering your scent."

She shakes her head. "We can't– not you and I– not the first time— not because of this."

I pull her against my body, feeling her every curve as it presses against my hard body. "We won't do this because we have to. We'll do this because we love each other and we want to. Getting rid of the green dragon will just be an added bonus."

Her hands slide up and down my chest, and my cock hardens. "But this won't mean that we're exclusive. It can't mean that. Not now. Not with how complicated things are with me."

Of course this will mean we're exclusive, that we're together. In my mind, we were already together in every way that mattered. I'm not going to share her or ever be without her again, but that's not what she needs to hear right now. If I tell her the truth, she won't sleep with me. She'll want to find some other fucking asshole to hide her scent, and that's never going to happen, so as much as I hate lying, this situation calls for a white lie.

"Agreed. We're not together. This is sex between two people who love each other and need to cover your scent. That's all."

She seems to debate for a minute as she stares up at my face, but I hide my feelings behind a mask. "Okay," she says.

I lean down and take her lips with mine, and it's like fire burns between us. Her lips are soft and full and welcoming, and all mine. I kiss her hard, crushing her mouth against mine. When her lips spread to take a breath, my tongue dives inside.

She whimpers, pressing herself against my erection, and the rush of desire to my crotch shocks me. I pull back from her, worried for the first time in my life that I might lose control from a kiss.

"We need to find a hotel," I say, grabbing her hand.

She laughs as I start dragging her back toward the parking lot, but she won't be laughing for long.